Women Communication

[Gymettemom]

DD has only ever been at one gym, so I'm trying to find out if what goes on at our gym is "normal." Our HC is also co-owner. Communication froM HC is minimal at best. Sure, she gets meet info out to us ( albeit not timely), but there's no communication regarding DD's progress, goals, plans....nothing. When a meeting is requested, it sometimes takes weeks to get a response and it always seems like you are being a pain in her butt.
Is this a club gymnastics phenomenon (typical) or is this out of the ordinary ?
Part of me thinks I need to just suck it up and keep let my mouth shut, but the other part of me gets upset bc I'm paying a lot of money and feel I should have an understanding of what is happening.
Thoughts ?

 

[MILgymFAM]

Ok, so I'm going to list it out for you from each of our (many) experiences, and then go from there.

Gym A: great communication, and ample. Coaches- including hc and owner- were always available before/after class for a quick question, by email for longer ones, and there were team parent meetings to cover broad things.

Gym B: communication was prior to signing up only, then basically ceased..but there was a thorough and complete handbook which laid all general stuff out well. There were team parent meetings.

Gym C: the coach was available at all times, even in the middle of practice. Communication was available about anything a gymnast or parent wished it to be. Email and texting were also offered.

Gym D: no communication. Zero. Not even about basics like meet schedules and choreography. Everything was handled last minute and word of mouth (if you were lucky). If you got a minute with the coach, questions were pointedly not answered, ever.

Gym E: coaches are always available to talk to, both in person and via email. Sometimes they avoid answering questions, but for the most part communication is above adequate.

Gym F: hc/owner is available for very quick moments before or after class, and available by text. Communication with the gymnasts themselves, however, is exceptional and there are usually no questions about progress or the likes that need to be asked.

I would say that gyms are all over the place in terms of communication, and parents are all over the place in terms of what they find desirable/acceptable. I have met parents who really do want nothing to do with gym outside of writing the checks and cheering at the meets. I'm not that person, but in many ways I envy them. Ignorance can be bliss.

 

[ascarter1]

I think it's typical! Our hc is the owner as well. She is awesome but sometimes things get in the way, life gets busy, and we get notifications when we get them. We learned years ago to just roll with the punches.

We don't have meetings or get progress updates. We know that their ultimate goal is to get them to 10 and get them into college gymnastics (if the child's heart desires).

I will say that I feel completely comfortable asking her questions, and never feel like I'm being put off or being a pain in the butt.

Just try to sit back, relax, and enjoy the crazy hectic ride!

 

[AgingHippie]

This all sounds very typical to me. Sad but true!

 

[GymDad9.9]

We've been in only one gym and your experience is atypical or maybe based on some of the responses my experience is atypical! Our owner is not a coach, but is there most days and is very accessible and lets it known he is there to help with any issues. My daughter's compulsory coaches are accessible; however, parents are told up front not to disturb them during training hours as they are paid to coach during those hours. Meetings can be scheduled quite regularly and they are available before and after practices and by text/phone. Optional coaches appear fairly accessible as well. Office staff is good and is constantly updating parents as far as competition schedules and deadlines, etc. Rec class coaches are very accessible and will typically come out and speak with parents after practices and explain progress to parents. It's a big gym and it seems to run well. It is not perfect by any means but it is responsive.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

From what I've learned here, it seems like it varies but very little communication is more the norm. We are very lucky to have amazing communication. They have one on one parent meetings at the end of summer to talk about what level your child will compete (our comp season starts late Nov/early Dec) and there is a meeting for all the team parents in the fall also. It is very common for a coach to quickly have a word with a parent (good and bad lol) informally after practice, and I feel very comfortable texting/emailing questions as well. Again, I feel incredibly lucky and I don't think this is super common.

 

[Aussie_coach]

A lot of gymnastics coaches are not nessesarily great business people. They get into this business for the love of the sport and working with kids, not always for their organisation and communication ability. But that doesn't mean it should be an acceptable practice.

 

[QueenBee]

DD has only ever been at one gym, so I'm trying to find out if what goes on at our gym is "normal." Our HC is also co-owner. Communication froM HC is minimal at best...Part of me thinks I need to just suck it up and keep let my mouth shut, but the other part of me gets upset bc I'm paying a lot of money and feel I should have an understanding of what is happening.
Thoughts ?

I think you need to decide whether you can accept the way the gym you are at is run or you may need to find another gym. After many many years, I have finally realized that the only person's behavior and choices you can control are your own. If your gym isn't communicative, your comments to them are highly unlikely to be the catalyst for change. Make your decision based upon what you and your child needs, not what you hope someone else will or won't do.

Lack of communication does not necessarily mean bad coaching. I agree with Aussie that many coaches are in the business for the love of the sport, not because they know how to or really want to run a business.

We've have both very communicative coaches and very taciturn coaches in the years my gymmie has been in this sport. As the years have gone one, I have gotten a lot more comfortable with taciturn, and very comfortable with drop and go; I just want to write the check and cheer. It is my daughter's sport not mine and as long as I have enough time to plan around the meet season schedule (usually out a couple of months before season starts), I'm fine not having a lot of interaction. I try to remember that Beth Tweddle's parents never even watched her practice when she was training gymnastics. I cannot believe they were having long in-depth conversations/meetings with the coaches regarding gymnastics while not watching any practices (though I am sure there were more meetings when/after Beth went Elite). While we are not looking toward the Olympics, I think their attitude regarding the sport was very healthy.

More and more I believe parents should spend a lot more time deciding on the gym their child attends before starting to make sure it works for them before they get totally sucked into the life. I think this is sometimes a quick judgement of the gym, and then months (or years) wondering if the parents and child can live with the gym philosophy.

 

[suebee]

At dd's gym, it is coach dependent. She's had coaches who are happy to chat, email, text, and keep everyone updated with periodic emails. And she's had coaches with whom I've literally exchanged less than 10 words for an entire year (and those words were "Hi," and "Bye,") who don't come out of the gym before or after practice so there's no chance to talk, don't give out their email addresses, and communicate with families about meet times only via email from the gym assistant, so there is no way to even ask a question because any questions asked to the gym assistant via email are answered with "I don't know," and then that's the end. Coaching changes are made without any notification or introduction to the parents so if you don't watch, like me, you don't even know who your kid's coaches are, and might be surprised to see them with a new coach one day.

I can only recall once the gym scheduling a meeting with parents and then the meeting was canceled due to some scheduling issues on the part of the owner.

I think I only emailed the available coach once in a few years for anything other than a quick "Dd is sick today and won't be at practice."

I do wish they would at least give some feedback sometimes. I think it is one of the reasons people leave the gym, honestly. But dd is still there.

 

[LizzieLac]

Typical for our gym, but you can email and request meetings. Conversations can and do happen, but it is NOT of a proactive nature. Personally, I would prefer more reporting out on a number of things about the gym, not just plans for my daughter or her progress. It is very inconsistent and not what I think it should be. We have learned to accept it because as others have said - we are not going to change it.

 

[Pea'sMom]

We've have had experience at two gyms and they have been very different.

Gym 1 had minimal communication. I'm pretty sure if they could figure out how to run a program without parents, they would! I got involved in the parents association simply to have an idea what was going on (not with Pea specifically but in general.) For Peas first 3 years she only had one coach, if you could find her she would answer most questions but was usually noncommittal. Communication was so limitedI didn't find out Pea was having any issues at gym (she's generally tight lipped) until I showed up for a meet and found out she had been pushed back to L6 and was scratching bars. And I had written the check for the meet with her listed as 7!

Gym 2 much better. Emails a lot about gym schedules, etc. HC has requested we text her with any questions, missed practices, late etc. Without request she has sent me updates both good and bad.

For my sanity I prefer Gym 2. Now if only I could get rid of the parents at gym 2 and replace them with gym 1...

 

[munchkin3]

After 6 hours of dealing with pre pubescent and drama teens, I understand why the coaches peer out of the gym and find the quickest way out........sometimes I think the line of parents waiting must look like sharks!
However, when scheduling a meeting, our gym is great and the owner is very good at keeping the politics in order. We get lots of emails and sometimes too many.
I think we are lucky......gym A? forget it....sometimes the parents would distribute competitions schedules to one another.

 

[LizzieLac]

To be fair, competition schedules, gym closures or changes to practice schedules - all pretty well communicated. What level gymnasts compete is discussed too, but coaches like to try to wait until close to the start of the season to lock in. Progress, goals, plans for the gymnast I think they like to avoid. It can become a vicious cycle with some parents.

 

[mommyof1]

To be fair, competition schedules, gym closures or changes to practice schedules - all pretty well communicated. What level gymnasts compete is discussed too, but coaches like to try to wait until close to the start of the season to lock in. Progress, goals, plans for the gymnast I think they like to avoid. It can become a vicious cycle with some parents.

Our gym sounds much like yours. We get plenty of communication regarding administrative matters (although it is hugely frustrating that summer practice schedules aren't announced until May, because in our area working parents have to set up summer child care several months in advance), but absolutely nothing about goals, progress, or anything that is going on during practice. The gym's physical layout prevents parents from buttonholing the coaches before or after practice. I have been able to arrange meetings with the coach on one or two occasions when I thought there might be an issue, but I get the impression that if a kid were having behavioral issues or weren't making adequate progress the coaches would not bother to reach out to the parents. Level placement is not discussed at all. It comes out in a letter that the kids aren't allowed to open in the gym. All of this is a shame because sometimes the parents can provide insight that might help the coach deal more effectively with the kid, kids and parents can get the impression that the coaches don't really care about the girls as individuals (when I am sure they really do), and there needs to be plenty of advance warning if a kid is going to repeat a level or be bumped down to a different program.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

To be fair, competition schedules, gym closures or changes to practice schedules - all pretty well communicated. What level gymnasts compete is discussed too, but coaches like to try to wait until close to the start of the season to lock in. Progress, goals, plans for the gymnast I think they like to avoid. It can become a vicious cycle with some parents.

This is like dd's gym. They are pretty good about communicating general team info such as meet schedules (although the new hours for the season were painfully slow to come out this year). They are very good about communicating when money is due. lol. But they are not great at communicating progress, goals, etc. They also aren't great on communicating coaching and team changes (new coaches, coaches leaving, gymnast level changes, etc) It seems they just make the changes and expect us to not question or notice? Of course this leads to rumors and general unhappiness from the parents, but they don't seem too concerned about that. I find the lack of communication frustrating, but it seems to be fairly normal from what I've learned.

 

[dancingimmie]

We are in the same boat. Practice schedules, meet schedules, declined cards for tuition all very well communicated. Progress, plans and levels a total secret. It used to drive me crazy but I do trust her coaches and if I bug him enough the owner/HC will sit down with me (I don't do it often, so far just once when they were playing "musical training groups" with her).
I think he communicates better with the athletes. It's been good for my DD (8 yrs old), she has learned to ask questions and really talk to her coaches. If she's happy with her progress then so am I.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

I as a coach try my best at communicating enough but not too much. Some of the parents seem to be more interested than others. I'm happy to text (or What's app) with them anytime and emails are ok too, but I have to admit that I try to avoid talking with them after practice. They look like row of sharks like said before when they wait in the lobby. Usually I'm pretty exhausted after practice and I'm worried that my answers to their questions about progress etc don't come accross the way they I would want to. I like to be prepared to answer questions like that. AND I don't like it when all the other parents and gymnasts are withing hearing distance. So my wish for the parents is that questions about levels and progress were emailed or texted. Planned meetings would be nice but since we are not paid for those I prefer planned phone calls or emails.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

We get a lot regarding billing and schedules. The rest not so much. How are they doing. Umm no news pretty means fine. Other wise, we need to ask, and tome it at a low stress moment, so shortly before our in house fund raising meet or states, not a good time.

 

[dancingimmie]

I as a coach try my best at communicating enough but not too much. Some of the parents seem to be more interested than others. I'm happy to text (or What's app) with them anytime and emails are ok too, but I have to admit that I try to avoid talking with them after practice. They look like row of sharks like said before when they wait in the lobby. Usually I'm pretty exhausted after practice and I'm worried that my answers to their questions about progress etc don't come accross the way they I would want to. I like to be prepared to answer questions like that. AND I don't like it when all the other parents and gymnasts are withing hearing distance. So my wish for the parents is that questions about levels and progress were emailed or texted. Planned meetings would be nice but since we are not paid for those I prefer planned phone calls or emails.

This makes total sense. I don't try and corner the coaches, that's not fair to them or my DD. My only issue is the unanswered emails. We have one coach that will answer any questions I have or give me an occasions good/bad progress report but the HC/owner couldn't be bothered and some questions only he can answer. I'm getting used to it. If he just had a 5min meeting with parents once a year I think everyone would be much happier.

 

[rosiekat]

We have 2 men's coaches. I have email and phone for the HC, but not for DS's coach. However, I've not had a problem with contact the few times I've needed to - I call the desk if DS is ill, and the one or two times I've had something I needed to communicate at length and not in person, I sent it to HC and asked him to share with DS's coach. Meet info is shared as the coaches get it (which isn't always far ahead of time and not their fault) - general info like dates, even tentative, are shared in August and we have a Shutterfly site as well. That site also shares what the fees and application dates were for the preceding year, for families to tentatively plan as early as possible.

DS's training is first time slot of the day, so I can usually catch the coach if there is a need. We also occasionally commiserate about DS's hard head, lol. But particularly because I am almost always there for the duration of practice (due to time constraints, not CGM-itis), I try very hard to make it clear that the gym is coach's territory and that 98% of what happens there is between coach and DS. Our coaches really stress kids taking responsibility - in fact, by L6 (generally at least 8-9 years old), they want the kid to be the one to call in if he's sick or having to miss. DS is 7, so I obviously have to be involved some, but it's his responsibility IMO to learn about what he needs to do to move up, or why he isn't allowed to do x skill yet, etc. Maybe that's just because we are at a place that thinks the same way we do and where the coaching style works for DS - I'm sure that just as in school, occasionally it's relevant for a parent to get involved. We just haven't needed that.