Parents Confused mom

[Lilou]

I'm confused and need some wise opinions. We pulled my daughter our of a toxic and dangerous gym environment toward the end of December. My daughter (7) was so depressed about her gymnastics and thought she was an awful gymnast (which is not true; she's not destined for the Olympics but she's a solid gymnast). She was so upset & depressed, we stayed away from gym for a month.
Then one day she asked to go to Open Gym (at our old gym). We went and she fell back in love with the sport. A T&T coach saw her doing multiple back handsprings and asked her to join their team for power tumbling. She wanted to do it so she joined to train with them on a temporary basis to see how it goes. So, she's been training about 6 hours a week and enjoying it overall.
However, now, come late April, she's missing artistic gymnastics. She likes power tumbling (not a fan of tramp a lot). She wants to try to repeat L3 again but her upper body strength has decreased some. Other gymnasts who see her comment on how good she is, she just stands out, but a coach told me she needs to build upper body strength again if she's going to try out for artistic. Here is where the confusion lies. My child is in denial a bit about having to build back upper body strength and has some days she's motivated to work hard on her own and other days she's not (the days she's not motivated she says she won't do L3 then). Granted she's only 7, but I don't feel like she ever got the "drive" back like before since the other awful gym experience in artistic. There was so much negative and so many head games with her. Maybe it's because she'll be repeating a level (which I've told her is normal at times), maybe it's because she's 7, maybe it's the result of the mental mistreatment from the other gym still, etc... I don't know and she doesn't share. I'm hoping, for her, she'll be given the chance to try again at L3. Once she trains artistic again, she may really see how much she loves it and rise up again. But she hasn't had the opportunity for a few months.
Of course, she may not make the artistic team, or she may decide she's not really into it anymore. She enjoys practicing bars and some beam at open gym still so I know a level of interest is still there.
So at this point, I'm wondering if she should stick with T&T and maybe she'll grow to love it. Try out for JO again but there's a chance she won't make it because she's not prepping consistently on her own (but again she's 7 (almost 8) so maybe that's unreasonable to ask..?) Try Xcel, but her sister is on Xcel and really does not want her baby sister (who others on Xcel comment is soooo good.) to be on her team too. I've talked to her about trying another sport entirely but she insists she still wants to do team gymnastics (not rec). Nothing is guaranteed but I'm trying to at least think of reasonable goals and direction. I'm confused but want to be clear.

 

[Lilou]

I should probably add that I've posted this because there are artistic try outs coming up in early June so we have to figure out what direction to try to head.

 

[SMH]

Are the tryouts for artistic at the old, toxic, gym? Or a new gym?

I’d probably not have too much expectation that a 7 yr old would be prepping for a level 3 tryout on her own, especially since she’s done the level in the past. Did she have some success previously as a level 3?

Honestly I’d just try to step back and follow her lead. Let her practice if she wants, gently remind her tryouts are coming up and let her make a decision.

 

[John]

My thoughts. Muscle has memory, as they say, and if she chooses to return to Artistic her strength with return quickly. Being she is 7 I would not expect her to do an unguided strength workout\, that is unrealistic. I would follow her and allow her to try out, it can't hurt doing a tryout. Again I come back to her age, she still lives for the moment, it might be up to mom and dad to decide what is best.

If it were me I would ask mine to return to artistic for a season and reevaluate when the season is over. Her Tumbling will not get worse and she could still pursue T&T after the Artistic season.

 

[LTB~Mom]

Can she join a pre-team/L3/Xcel group now to start working beam/bars/vault again? Or advanced rec class? Xcel seems like the best option to me - and she could always transfer back to JO the next year. I wouldn't let your older dd influence the decision regarding Xcel - they can both do it or one or neither.

 

[Lilou]

So, the old gym was a good gym. We left it for a new gym, which turned out to be a toxic gym. So when I say 'old gym' it's actually the fine one we originally left . The toxic gym I will never step foot in again for the way they treated my child. I have since met two other families whose kids have quit since being mentally defeated at that gym. She did fine on the events they let her compete at the old gym (2nd place) but they were super strict about when they'd let you compete. So she did one meet and then we left the gym.
I think a little reminder and follow her lead is a good idea. She used to be more self-motivated before the gym destroyed her confidence.

Are the tryouts for artistic at the old, toxic, gym? Or a new gym?

I’d probably not have too much expectation that a 7 yr old would be prepping for a level 3 tryout on her own, especially since she’s done the level in the past. Did she have some success previously as a level 3?

Honestly I’d just try to step back and follow her lead. Let her practice if she wants, gently remind her tryouts are coming up and let her make a decision.

 

[Lilou]

She can't join any of those groups as the gym doesn't let you join mid year. She tried a rec class but it was too easy and she was bored. The more advanced ones are full. Interesting you favor Xcel and say not to let her older sister sway in the decision. I've been thinking Xcel 'might' be a good fit if she can get used to the freedom of routines. She thrives on structure.

Can she join a pre-team/L3/Xcel group now to start working beam/bars/vault again? Or advanced rec class? Xcel seems like the best option to me - and she could always transfer back to JO the next year. I wouldn't let your older dd influence the decision regarding Xcel - they can both do it or one or neither.

 

[Flippin'A]

First of all, good for you for pulling her from that toxic environment. The idea that there are coaches out there breaking the spirits of first graders makes me sick.

I think you'll be surprised by how quickly she regains the strength once she's back to JO training. Of course, there's a chance she won't be accepted back onto the team, but remember that there are plenty of kids just starting their team journeys at age seven, so I'm sure she's still well ahead of many of her peers if she's already doing multiple back handsprings. I say leave the decision up to her and let her try for JO if she wants to. It's hard to self motivate at that age, especially if she has any trepidation about going back on a JO track because of a bad experience in the past. Don't force the conditioning, just encourage her to try her best and have fun. If she doesn't make it, you can always discuss Xcel or continuing with tumbling then. She's still young, and it might be a good idea to have a conversation about the circumstances with the level 3 coach if possible. Good luck!

 

[Lilou]

It doesn't seem like the Level 3 coach has my sympathy but I'll try talking again.
I'm going to encourage her and remind her that try outs are coming up and then leave it at that. From try outs we'll see where they place her, and if they place her at all. Thank you