Parents Crazy mom @ the gym...

[Mariainlv]

So in the grand scheme of things, not a huge deal but WOW did this mom annoy me tonight. She has always been on my "crazy" radar but she took the cake tonight!

Monday J and some of her L3 teammates started L4 practice (moved up) Well tonight my older DD had a tumbling class so I happened to be at the gym during team practice. I saw crazy moms daughter in the same group with J, and J was happy and enjoying having her there. I told the mom how much J was enjoying having her daughter in the group, as they have played together during open gym before.

I was not in the parent viewing room but rather in a back break room. Crazy mom went and yelled at the gym about her daughter working out with that group. Then she came back and told me that her daughter would not be working out with them ANY more.. I was like "huh" She then told me that her daughter was alot better than them and no way was she going to be working out with kids so far below her skill level.. HUH?? I had many responses but chose "uhh, I think my older daughters class is out"

I am pretty perturbed to say the least. The kids are the same age (6-7) and will compete the same level next year. her DD started competing L4 in Jan so I guess she thinks our kids would hold her back or some such nonsense.. I would hope she would never say any of this in front of the kids. She went on for like 5 minutes but I was just speechless. I would never tell another parent my child was too good to work out with theirs.. Weird! There was another mom there who was doing her best to pretend she wasnt there...

Sorry for the rant but she just really rubbed me wrong!

 

[UnoMas]

That is uncalled for and hideous behavior!

It was nice of you to try to talk to "crazy mom"...but now that you know how she is, STAY AWAY AT ALL COSTS! We have some of those at our gym and I find the best way to deal with them is to stay far far away and avoid conversation at all times!!! Nothing good can come of chatting with those types.

I'm very sorry to hear that this happened. And I agree, I hope she would never ever say anything like that around the kids. We have one at our gym who tells her daughter things like "ugh, why were you in a group with HER...what did you do wrong?". Nice.

Congrats to your DD for moving up to level 4!

 

[3stars]

Oh, you go to the same gym we do? Yeah, we have that exact same mom at our gym. I was so glad when my daughter switched days so that I didn't have to see her anymore. She thinks her daughter is the best and isn't afraid to let anyone know it. She moved from a different gym and most of us have our fingers crossed that she will move again. As a group, the parents in my daughter's level get along great, at least until this mom came along. Now there is definitely an us vs them attitude. One group of us helps each other out and that group will watch a kid fall down and then step over them. Its sad really.

By the way, congrats to your daughter!

 

[Blazing15]

That's too bad that she has to act that way. Some people just think their kid is the best and that is all there is to it.

My daughter is in a class that is an invite only class so other parents ask me all the time about it and say wow your daughter must be good. I just tell them that she is working hard and loves it. I don't brag about my daughter or feel she is better than anyone's else's. I love meeting new parents since we have only been at this gym for 2 months.

 

[mariposa]

There are those kind of parents everywhere. Every gym, every sport. Avoid them. That is all you can do, really. It is sad, but they will always be there. I avoid watching practices because those types usually are always at the gym, though of course there are exceptions. And I try to make friends with ones that aren't like that and stick to them. There isn't much you can do.

 

[Lisa Dawn]

I live across the street from 'that' crazy mom. Best to smile and duck away! congrats to your DD.

 

[gymjoy]

Here's a question on my mind - what about the passive-aggressive crazy parent whose insidious talk and rumor spinning wrecks havoc on the team and the moral of the gymnasts - even after s/he has left the gym for "bluer floors"?

 

[bogwoppit]

Gymjoy, I totally agree with you. It is amazing how one bad apple can taint the whole barrel. It is good when coaches become aware of this kind of parent and nip the behaviour in the bud, but the effects are often felt long after a crazy gym parent leaves the building.

Rather like a bullied child, the ripples last a life time, in small and subtle ways.

Stay far away from parents like that, all too easy to try to placate them or even get implicated in their webs of deception. Ugly all around.

Sadly this is probably the 100th time I have read this same story here, and none of you are from the same town!

 

[gymjoy]

Rather like a bullied child, the ripples last a life time, in small and subtle ways.

Stay far away from parents like that, all too easy to try to placate them or even get implicated in their webs of deception. Ugly all around.

So, so true.

It makes me very sad and upset.

I think these parents were probably bullies as children. ( I know a few children headed in that direction - and unfortunately one of my children is the target of the bullying)

 

[bogwoppit]

I think these parents were probably bullies as children. ( I know a few children headed in that direction - and unfortunately one of my children is the target of the bullying)

I could write a book on that issue. My oldest really sufferd one year at school and it still haunts him now!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Yes... there are definitely too many of these crazy, obsessive parents in this sport (and others as well)!!!! The GOOD thing to look forward to seems to be that as your child moves up in this sport, that kind of crazy behavior really does tend to drop off.... I don't know if it's because the parents learn to relax a little bit (gymnastics truly is a marathon and not a spring), or if they just burn their own kids out and those kids drop out of the sport altogether. Probably a little bit of both.

 

[Gymdad2]

Just wanted to say thanks to all of you who have quoted my line, "Its a marathon, not a sprint" as it seems so appropriate to this thread. I came up with it many years and at least three message boards ago when we had a crazy mom at our gym who was obsessed with telling us all how great her dd was and how she would do one year at L5 and then test out of 6 at the first meet next seasion and then move to 7. She took her dd out of our gym after state that year when the dd was told she would do 5 again next year. We were all relived to see her go, and that's when I really started thinking about the nature of the sport. I expect there are others out there who have come up with the same idea so I'm not claiming anything original, but to me it truely defines this sport that we all care so much about.

 

[bogwoppit]

Gymdad2, I remember when I first heard that quote from you some years back on another gym board, it is one of the truest things I have ever heard about gym. They should make t-shirts for parents with that on the front!

 

[Blackie6]

Just wanted to add that I also love the quote "It's a marathon not a sprint"....fits my dd who needs extra time for EVERYTHING! It helps keep us grounded in this sport where everyone just wants to move fast and get those skills quicker and move up faster! Some of those sprinters do well and obviously have talent, but others being pushed by mom or dad will just run outta steam soon.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

It is very hard to believe that grown adults act like this. Maybe I am I do not notice or maybe some gyms just make a bigger deal about different levels and skills. At daughters gym everybody just seems to get along. The rec kids often play with my daughter who is on team during open gym and other parents seem friendly regardless of the status of the other kids. I quess everything is so secretive at our gym that nobody knows what the other kids are doing perhaps a good thing. There are no formal tryouts for team or levels. They never post scores so maybe that helps.

 

[cathiann]

It is very hard to believe that grown adults act like this. Maybe I am I do not notice or maybe some gyms just make a bigger deal about different levels and skills. At daughters gym everybody just seems to get along.

I like this about our gym--the parents do seem to get along--haven't noticed any one mom or dad bragging about their child. It makes the atmosphere so much nicer!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I have also used that quote MANY TIMES since I first read it. I truly sums up the sport very nicely!

 

[Sunny]

We have a "crazy mom" at dance (luckily the gym moms are great) and she has literally ruined my dance year. She is new this year and when her 5 year-old was put in my 5 year-old's acro class, she informed the other moms that her daughter "is above their level" and is just in the class for fun. She also asked everyone's age and birthday so many times (so she can point out that her daughter is younger or just a bit older) that is became a running joke. I could go on and on with what she has done. One of the dance teachers even had her blocked from her calling her! lol

It makes me miserable to go to dance on the days that she is there because I know she thinks that all of the other little girls don't even compares to hers. And we are usually a ver supportive dance studio. These little girls become best friends and we want the best for all of them.

I have just adapted the plan to avoid her at all costs! I even sit in the car and read on Fridays when she is in the waiting the room the entire time. I feel like I shouldn't have to do this but to avoid the drama, I do.

So I recommend avoiding the "crazy mom" and hoping that she will move to a different gym.... good luck!!