Parents Crying

[gothgymmom]

Crying in the gym - do your coaches yell at DD/DS to stop crying? The other day during warmdowns, my DD and another little girl ended up crying, and the one coach yelled at the other girl to stop crying. No a "Soso, stop crying now" but a SOSO..STOP YOUR CRYING NOW!". Actually yelled at her! I tried to mouth to my DD to stop crying so she didnt get yelled at either. I know alot of girls cry, either because they are working on something and cant get it, or in the case of the little ones, some of the warmdowns are tough. I know that this is a mental as well as physical sport, but do you think yelling at the girls to stop crying helps in any way? Any opinions are welcomed, but please dont bash.

 

[skschlag]

It depends. My ds got sent out once because he was crying because he didn't like the correction the coach was giving and was arguing. He didn't yet, but just calmly told him that he was welcome to cry on the other side of the glass, but not in the gym. D pulled it together.

We do have to remember that coaches are human. Is this a pattern of behavior? Do the girls cry a lot at that time? Is it something he has told them before? Could he have been having a bad day?

if it is a one time or first occurance, then I would chalk it up to one of those other reasons. If it is a pattern, then I would talk to him. But, at the same time, I would find out why they are crying.....

 

[kitkat]

At my current gym I have never heard of the coaches yelling about gymnasts crying. At my old gym yes. But there was also girls who cried every single day. It became very trying on the other girls because so much time was taken out of a training day because of crying gymnasts. In our old gym they use to send them for water and the walk to and from the water cooler would help but not always stop it. In some cases the gymnast would just stand there and cry and not respond to anything the coach says. Thats tough for anyone to take.
I get crying because your hurt what I do not get is crying for no reason.
Yelling at someone crying will never stop them from crying.

 

[wgymmom]

Girls who are crying are generally sent for water/bathroom to get themselves together, or they just tough it out.

 

[windydays]

We have one coach who will tell the girls, "There is no crying on the floor. Stop it." No matter what the reason, crying isn't allowed. We have another coach, whom is well-loved, and tells the girls to go to the bathroom and gather themselves and come out when you are ready.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

we just don't have crying, I would be wary of a gym where everyone is crying all the time

 

[Jenny]

we just don't have crying, I would be wary of a gym where everyone is crying all the time

Yes me too.

 

[gymmomof1]

Girls who are crying are generally sent for water/bathroom to get themselves together, or they just tough it out.

From what I've seen at Dds gym this is what they do. One time a mom of a gymmie who moved up to optionals asked me what the crying was about and I told her, out of fear, frustration, getting yelled at (relatively speaking) or a combination of all 3.

 

[sce]

we just don't have crying, I would be wary of a gym where everyone is crying all the time

I agree with this. But, it can happen occasionally anywhere as different personalities deal with frustration in their own way. We have even had boys in tears a few times. Some of those times were inappropriate coaching that was dealt with. Other times, we have one boy who is hard on himself and occasionally cries when he struggles with something hard.

A rec girl cries fairly often, but her Mom is clear that it's the same with any activity and life in general. It's how this little one deals with things. What makes her cry in the gym is one of two things 1) her disdain of conditioning 2) her little sister bugging ehr. Most recently the girljust left class for awhile, calmed down, and went back. A teacher talked with her a bit and she went back to the rotation. She did not run to Mom or anything, just took a few moments to herself to get back in control.

 

[Ali'sMom]

"SOSO..STOP YOUR CRYING NOW!"

I can't help but think how close that sounds to "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about"...

 

[peginer]

My DD will sometimes cry when she's frustrated. She's 6. And working on harder things than I could EVER do. Her coach will send her to get water and tells her to come back once she's calmed down. I'm ok with that. But recently my older DD was at bars the same time as my younger DD and she heard the coach complaining about my younger DD to another coach. I'm not ok with that. If my older DD heard it, anyone in the area could and that's not ok with me. So it's good you posted this. A good reminder that I need to deal with this. *sigh*

 

[mom2newgymnast]

There is definitely some crying going on in my dd's group, but she is still young and the girls are still getting used to things (it is a new level 2 team with increased hours, etc). Their coach is never mean about it, but she doesn't give it much attention either. Usually the girl who is upset will just cry quietly to herself and keep trying or, sometimes, will choose to move somewhere to compose themselves. She may ask them once what's wrong, but after that she'll just let them calm down and then keep going. I think most of the tears are about being tired and frustrated.

I rarely see or notice older kids getting upset, but I am sure it happens.

 

[gothgymmom]

My DD doesnt cry all the time, but sometimes the warmdowns get to her. Since they are still young I can see some things can be hard on them and it could be frustrating and somewhat painful, but I explained to my DD that gymnastics is not easy, and no one ever said it was easy. You have to do alot of things most people cannot do. I know half the stuff they do would have me crying in like 10 min. of starting lol. Thank you for all of your comments though. It helps me understand what to say to her so if she needs to cry, to wait till she goes to the bathroom or to wait until we leave. I dont want her to be a cry baby, and shes not, but I can understand her position as well. They were doing pullups on the high bar and then just hanging there with their chins above the bar for a count. ( I sure know I cant do that - and I told her that lol ).

 

[Gymbee06]

No one cries at our gym unless they get hurt and usually it has to be pretty bad splitting the beam is one they usually cry on the only other times were a broken finger and a vault table on a girls foot pretty painful I would imagine can't imagine being in the gym with crying all the time

 

[headoverheels]

In my opinion, a lot depends on the age of the gymnasts involved and if this is a pattern, and it doesn't sound like it is. Of course my daughter is the one who will do ANYTHING to keep from crying, until she gets into the car and breaks down. The only time that happened in relation to gymnastics was when one of her teammates was mean to her. But I have to say I would have a problem with a coach yelling at her to stop crying. Like yelling at a little girl for crying is going to make her stop....

 

[z2akids]

At our gym, crying is meet with a request to step into the ladies' room to compose themselves. Sometimes it is a sign if lack of maturity and we have had girls asked to move down to a lower level at th end if summer training.

My daughter cried once last year when her coach told her she was doing her bhsv unspotted. She didn't need the spot, but had become dependent on the caucus coach's hand just being right there. She went to the bathroom, cured fir s moment, composed herself and Abby out and did get bhs and hasn't been spotted since.

 

[MBJ974]

I have two DD's. YD (8) training L6 is a crier and OD (10) training L8 is not, but went though a short crying phase. Both DD's are bound and determined to succeed and sometimes take gymnastics too seriously. Lately, YD and I have met with the HC because of her crying and she was told to have "more fun." OD has kind of figured it out and goes though focused training stages, but then will also have the occasional talking/laughing/fun stage too.

 

[EverywhereWeGo]

I have learned over the years the importance of acknowledge my kids' feelings of sadness and frustrations. However, when it comes to crying over sports, I do not have that much tolerance. Gathering oneself in the bathroom is a good way to learn composure. Gymnastics can be a dangerous sport and the coaches are entrusted with the training of several individuals. I believe it is the parents job to coddle and hug... and not the coaches. Great for coaches who take the time to do that... but I certainly don't expect that. Family member has cancer = cry. Fear of back handspring = do not cry, say "I'm afraid," but move forward to conquer that fear. I hope my kids will be grateful for this lesson when they are adults.

 

[happychaos]

In DD's gym, most crying is ignored, and the gymnast just carries on with what the were doing. Excessive crying because of a scary fall may get a hug or pep talk from coach, or a quick bathroom break.

 

[gothgymmom]

Well, I had a serious talk with my DD about crying, (alot of the stuff i said to her was found on this site by you all, so thanks!), and also about good sportsmanship when it comes to her teammates and stuff. She didnt want to compete this year because supposedly " her coaches are mean and her team mates talk about her". Well, I wanted to wait after she went to IGC to ask her, and I kinda needed her answer cuz the USAG money is due, so I had a nice little sit down with her. She understood about the crying and I think she understood about everything else. I told her if she needs to cry, to go to the bathroom or just wait till we get to the car and she cant just 'Let it go' (on a side note, that dang song is stuck in my head and is really getting on my nerves lol). I also told her that if she hears one of the other girls talking about her or being mean to her to smile and do her gymnastics. I was very proud of her lastnight as during warmdowns they were doing frog jumps and she didnt cry! thats one of the other things she doesnt like doing, but she came off the floor with a smile! didnt even cry on the way home, but I think thats cuz daddy was making pancakes for dinner lol. I explained to her that crying shows the mean person they won and she doesnt want that to happen. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted to compete this year, and she had to write her answer to me in a letter. I told her that if she said she did not, that I wanted a good reason, and not because of her teammates and/or coaches. She wrote back and said that she really wants to compete this year, and she wont cry, and that she promises she loves all 4 events lol. So, things are going good. Just hoping tonite and tomorrow go very good as she is testing level 3 this week~~~any prayers would be appreciated!