WAG Do your coaches say this?

[josie55]

The reason for the “new age” concept that actions should be the focus of praise instead of traits, is actually quite interesting and powerful, IMHO. It is backed up by a lot of reasearch, and the net-net is that kids who receive feedback on their actions are MUCH more likely to work hard when faced with a challenging situation, whereas kids who are praised for their traits are much more likely to be complacent, believing that their capabilities are fixed.

Personally, I think the application to gymnastics is quite relevant. At some point *all* kids, even the most naturally talented ones, will struggle. Based on this research, one would infer that those who were taught that their own hard work is what matters will be able persevere through those challenging times. Those who were praised for their talent or other “fixed” traits will be more likely give up (because you can’t change those things, so why try?)

Gooogle “Carol Dweck” and read some of her work on growth mindset. The original research is about middle school girls and math, but the idea has much broader application. It sounds like a lot of people on this thread seem to have heard of the idea, but perhaps not the rationale behind it, and therefore think of it as mumbo jumbo. Alternatively perhaps people who think it’s mumbo jumbo believe that natural talent is far more important in gymnastics than hard work is. Either way, I respectfully disagree and think it’s quite powerful.

Oh and as for “good girl,” I think it’s fine, personally.

 

[mommyof1]

Gooogle “Carol Dweck” and read some of her work on growth mindset. The original research is about middle school girls and math, but the idea has much broader application. It sounds like a lot of people on this thread seem to have heard of the idea, but perhaps not the rationale behind it, and therefore think of it as mumbo jumbo. Alternatively perhaps people who think it’s mumbo jumbo believe that natural talent is far more important in gymnastics than hard work is. Either way, I respectfully disagree and think it’s quite powerful.

Oh, I have read the book and regularly apply the material, but it is still fun to poke fun at it once in a while.

 

[Madden3]

Just because I chose to write what I hoped might be a humorous post (based on my personal experience) does not mean I do not know what I am talking about. Some scientists, statisticians, and psychologists who have studied the issue question the extreme dramatic results of Dweck's math test study as well as some of her other work in mindset, and have raised concerns about the way her theories have been so widely implemented and embraced when her results have thus far not been replicated... If I am not mistaken, she herself has admitted to some flaws in her methods and conclusions.

The point I was trying to make is we can overthink these things to death. As others have pointed out, there would be a creepy way to say good girl and an entirely fine way to say it. I think we can usually trust our parental instincts on these kind of things as long as we have the relevant facts or have observed the specific situation.

 

[Aussie_coach]

The point I was trying to make is we can overthink these things to death.

21st century in a nutshell.

 

[josie55]

Just because I chose to write what I hoped might be a humorous post (based on my personal experience) does not mean I do not know what I am talking about. Some scientists, statisticians, and psychologists who have studied the issue question the extreme dramatic results of Dweck's math test study as well as some of her other work in mindset, and have raised concerns about the way her theories have been so widely implemented and embraced when her results have thus far not been replicated... If I am not mistaken, she herself has admitted to some flaws in her methods and conclusions.

I apologize if I caused offense. I haven't read the opposing literature. Agree that anything taken the extreme can be problematic. I think I just reacted b/c I personally love the application of growth mindset to gymnastics.

 

[josie55]

Oh, I have read the book and regularly apply the material, but it is still fun to poke fun at it once in a while.

I had actually missed your post (or had skimmed it) and have to say that it was pretty funny upon re-reading it. You clearly have read ALL of the latest literature ;-) I will admit, however, to loving some of the points made in "How to Raise an Adult" b/c it justifies my parental laziness at times. Ha!

 

[Madden3]

I apologize if I caused offense. I haven't read the opposing literature. Agree that anything taken the extreme can be problematic. I think I just reacted b/c I personally love the application of growth mindset to gymnastics.

I'll admit, I was a bit offended - but no harm done, quite the opposite in fact- your post caused me to explore my ideas and understanding of the research further.

What primarily concerns me, and why I posted the above, is that sometimes rather dramatic and in some cases, out and out harmful interventions follow not entirely solid understanding particularly in the social sciences. I am not an academic but via my volunteer work I have spent years in the trenches with confused and frightened new mothers (as well as having lived though several instances of being confused and frightened as a parent myself) and my conclusion from this experience is that parenting fads, trends and even research- based truisms can cause great harm to one of our most important assets as parents- confidence in our own ability to raise our own children, who we know better than anyone else does, reasonably well.

In my personal view, I just cannot believe that either parenting or teaching (or coaching) can possibly be as complicated as we are sometimes led to believe. As a species humans are beyond remarkable in our overall achievements, despite the fact that parenting practices and concepts of human development have been ever changing and vary greatly across cultures. We can lose sight of the strides we have made as a species when we are inundated with bad news of specific issues or horrors of the past and present, and of course there are and always have been actively harmful parents and teachers and coaches.

But, the overall trends in human development are overwhelmingly positive. In other words, every generation appears to manage to not screw up the next all that badly.

 

[MinnieGymMom]

Thank y'all for the responses!! She's gotten over it now and doesn't find it creepy. Thats an 11 year old for ya! Lol

 

[Gymmommy71]

What your daughters friends think shouldn’t matter - they weren’t there and didn’t hear/see what happened. If your daughter didn’t feel it was creepy, then no need to be concerned.

I’m sure all the news about Nassar has many non-gymnastics people in the mindset that most gymnasts, especially those who do a lot of hours w/ male coaches, are at risk for sexual abuse and that is probably why they said that. It’s just a reputation the gym community is going to have to deal with for a while. I know I have family members who have a new concern about my daughter doing gymnastics since the news about Nassar and all the Olympic girls became mainstream.