I know
@NY Dad went through a similar situation and may have some advice.
Thanks for thinking of me
My dds situation was a little different. She was 7 at the time (so a dinosaur compared to your ds). Her pre-team had an evaluation for team right before summer. She did not make the team, but we were told that nothing would change until fall. By the time we left the gym (without a new gym) two weeks later, she had gone from loving gymnastics to not wanting to go back. She didn't know why the coaches and other pre-teammates where treating her different (I'm happy to elaborate but I don't want to side-track the conversation).
We found a new, better, gym for my dd. For us "better" wasn't based on scored, it was a better fit for my dd. Her gym treats the kids like family. I truly believe they care about these each of their kids.
Her second meet (6 days after her first) was at her old gym. Her old gym has a JO team (she had been level 2 and evaluated for 3) but also a USAIGC team (which she also did not make). At the time she wanted JO3, I'm pretty sure b/c it was the focus at her old gym. All the pictures on the wall and all the kids/coaches talked about was the JO team. I did not even know there was a USAIGC team until I got the notice about the evaluation with the possible outcomes (rec wasn't listed as an option, but it's where she was placed)
I thought I knew how my dd would react when I told her about the meet. I turned to CB with all of my questions and concerns. I prepared answers/responses (before I mentioned the meet to my dd).
Her only concern was seeing her pre-teammates and her old coaches. I didn't think she would run into her pre-teammates’ b/c she was being evaluated for JO3 her new gym is USAIGC only (she's Copper 1), I was wrong, she directly competed against 2 of her old pre-teammates. Her old gym has the same coaches for their USAIGC and JO teams.
I presented it to her as a home gym advantage and told her that she can show them what she's been working on. I also told her that everyone is going to be concerned about themselves and their own gymmies. I suggested that she talk to her coach. I shared her concerns with her coach (she’s not the best self-advocate). Her coach conveyed the same message to her at practice the next day.
The day of the meet, she was a little extra nervous as we were walking in and she saw some old, familiar faces. Once she was with her team she was fine. She shined that day (like she's done at every meet
(okay 2nd AA- I had to get that in there
, behind one of her new teammates).
I realized I was a lot more worried for her than she actually was. I feel super fortunate to have CB as a safe outlet so I didn’t bog her (or anyone else) down with everything that I thought she might be concerned about.
I enjoy following your story. I think as long as you're just coming here to vent, get advice and share you should continue to share your ds's story. If your ds is really as stressed, unhappy out as you say, I agree with others that you should find a space for him where he can be a kid and have fun.
