MAG Emotional Son

[skschlag]

Just him Not sure what the others are doing. Most are quitting. But the other gym was having a parent meeting tonight. I jsut had them get info for me since D really wanted to come here tonight

 

[skschlag]

And he may still quit he is struggling

 

[Sasha]

And he may still quit he is struggling

?? Because of his injury recovery? Did the tryout not go so well after all?

 

[skschlag]

evaluation went great. He liked the coaches, they liked him. He was a hard worker.

I think the thought of starting over is hard for him. I just don't know.

We are just not going to push him right now and let him make up his mind

 

[profmom]

I think being in a supportive environment with real coaching will make a huge difference for him. He has the foundation; he just needs some good coaching to progress! If he can just hang in for the first few weeks, I bet he will ultimately be happy about the change.

 

[skschlag]

I have talked to him about 1 more season. He is so unsure, and I think one more season will clarify things for him. But like i said, we have decided to back off. He does need to make a decision, and he is not good at that, but it has to be his. I will just hate it if he lets this event sour something he has loved for so long

 

[gracyomalley]

The decision pressure is so hard...

Honestly, it took DD over a year + of trying the new gym to really be ready to quit - then she still had a moment this summer of "maybe"....but she's really comfortable now that this chapter of her life is over. When she tried the new gym we took it a month at a time...I did "waste" a fair amount of money on team fees and a lovely leo...but LIFE LESSONS, right, PRICELESS !

One of the things that's hardest is that a gym "family" is hard to replace in these kids lives...not sure if you DS has had that the last few years anyway, though, with the coaching issues...I know my boys feel like their "family" at gym has made it through tough times together - and that's the biggest reason they stick with gym.

If he's not sure, maybe JD would be a good option for him to take the pressure off...he could still do lots of L9 skills (if DS stays healthy he'll do a layout Tsuk and double back on floor and maybe a double front, probably L9/10 rings at JD this year - but wow will pommel be basic!) - and once DS came to accept that the changes just put in him in this position (just like the coaching issues have put your DS in his) and got over not being able to just do L9, he's happier, less stressed about not being able to make every practice, etc. On the other hand, I hope the new coaches would be sensitive to his feelings about it and let him compete where he's safe but emotionally healthy ...

Hugs! It's so hard to see them struggle through this stuff - parenting teens is not for the weak

 

[2G1B]

I had totally forgotten this; but when my ds first moved to his current gym he was unhappy the first month. he missed his old coach, didn't like how the new gym did things, etc. I totally bribed him to give it just one month with an open mind. At the end of the month he was back in love with the sport and loved his new gym. I just wanted to make sure that if he quit it was because he was really done, not because of the new situation.

 

[skschlag]

So this gym's plan right now is for all of the optionals to do JD> WIth D's injuries, and this turmoil, I think it will help. D still wants to do Level 9, so the coach said as he gets the skills, he will move to level 9. So that is something. They are putting together a list of requirements. This coach is big on "you can call it what you want, level 8, level 9, level 10, JD, JO, JE. What matters is the skills." I kind of like that idea. He knows D's goals (as he told the coach last night his goal was to go to Illinois to do gymnastics....then tells me he wants to be done....boys!) So he will work to help him get there.

I think this environment can be good. But yes, D feels like he is losing his "family" Hopefully this gym can help him find a place again.

 

[sce]

Sounds like he's expressing his fear of the uncertainty by saying that he wants to be done. If it were me I would let me son know that being done is okay, but he needs to be sure and he really can't be sure until he's spent time at a new gym.

 

[GymDad9.9]

So this gym's plan right now is for all of the optionals to do JD> WIth D's injuries, and this turmoil, I think it will help. D still wants to do Level 9, so the coach said as he gets the skills, he will move to level 9. So that is something. They are putting together a list of requirements. This coach is big on "you can call it what you want, level 8, level 9, level 10, JD, JO, JE. What matters is the skills." I kind of like that idea. He knows D's goals (as he told the coach last night his goal was to go to Illinois to do gymnastics....then tells me he wants to be done....boys!) So he will work to help him get there.

I think this environment can be good. But yes, D feels like he is losing his "family" Hopefully this gym can help him find a place again.

Perhaps he can convince some other members of his "family" to join him at the new gym so it feels more like "home."

I hope he stays with it and works towards being a member of the Fightin' Illini.

 

[SPX]

I'd try to make some time for him to get together with the guys from the old gym doing something else. I know it is hard to keep up and it won't be the same but realizing that there has been a change but his gym family didn't die and the exist ooutside the gym might help. If course it might not.

Also, if others are looking for options or are even on the fence, I'd talk up how well the evaluation went. You never know he might not be alone in the move.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

So get it, he was with his old gym such a long time. But as a parent who has done the gym switch the new "family" grows on you pretty quickly, as mentioned above, I reckon if you can keep him there a month, injury free, he will love it.

 

[duyetanh]

So get it, he was with his old gym such a long time. But as a parent who has done the gym switch the new "family" grows on you pretty quickly, as mentioned above, I reckon if you can keep him there a month, injury free, he will love it.

I so agree with this! Any chance you can say look, I get it if you want to stop...but let's give it a month first.

 

[skschlag]

THat is our thought. BUt we will be paying meet fees/etc pretty quickly...so he decided the season...hopefully it is good!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Fabulous news, oh I hope he has a great season

 

[sce]

THat is our thought. BUt we will be paying meet fees/etc pretty quickly...so he decided the season...hopefully it is good!

Really think this makes so much sense. It will take away the constant questioning. He can focus on the season and then reevaluate. Then the decision will be him making it, not the curcumstances. Is he trying the close gym and then you guys will pick one?

 

[skschlag]

He does not want to try the close one. It actually costs more....

 

[sce]

He does not want to try the close one. It actually costs more....

So commuting it is. Really hope all goes well moving forward!

 

[Seeker]

Good luck to him! Fingers crossed it is the start of something really great for him.