Parents Ethics and Switching Gyms

[cher062]

We belong to a gym with a very small, very successful team......about 20 girls. Last week two girls came from another local team to practice with the team...and are coming this saturday.....they haven't told their current team they are leaving after level 7 states....and the parents were very proud to say they told their coach they were just missing practice and were lucky to be coached at our practice and that will help their state score....WHAT? I can't believe they think it's OK to "try out" at our practise and deceive their team and coach!!! YIKES.

Honestly if the parents want to tryout at another gym or are thinking of moving to a new gym they can take what ever time they want to tell old gym. I've seen alot in th 15 years that my kids have been in gymnastics and really you don't know the situation that is prompting the move. Maybe if they tell the coach, the coach will put less effort in to the girls or could get mad and who knows what would happen. They really could have very good reasons for not telling old gym yet. Your gym obviously doesn't have an ethical or any issue with this or they wouldn't let them come and do the practice. I think they are ethically finishing the season with the old gym right through states and then will make a decision on the move. I wouldn't tell the old gym I was looking at other gyms until a decision was made to actually move. There is nothing wrong with looking around to see what is out there. I also think that looking at this time will give you a really good look at the coaching as they prepare for the "big" meet. It has nothing to do with Deceiving their old gym or coach, it has to do with making decisions that they feel will benifit their child and her gymnastics the most. Like I said they may have a really good reason for not saying anything to them yet. There is obviously something else going on that they don't want their old gym to know yet.

 

[bookworm]

We have a policy at our club - If you are thinking of moving, you must tell us straight away. If you are going for a trial at another club, you cannot train at ours until a decision has been reached - If you decide to stay, that is fine, we won't have any hard feelings, just let us know and come back to the next session. We will keep it confidential so team mates and coaches don't get 'funny' with you. If you decide to leave, that is also fine, again no hard feelings and good luck. It just isn't fair to be stringing 2 clubs along.

Probably sounds harsh, but we've been bitten on the backside a few too many times, so now we cover ourselves!

**While this might be your "policy" and if I were at your gym I would sign whatever saying I agreed to it at the time, if the time came for me to move my daughter , and as you say "having been bit in the backside" , I would NEVER abide by it. Plain and simple, when we moved gyms a few years ago after many months of trying to rectify the issues, the coaches and owners behaved horribly..we notified them of the move and were going to stay until the end of the month but at the practice where I told the coach, the coach came in and said to the coaching staff, "don't coach her anymore and she can't be spotted by anyone here or use the equipment" (and we had been there 7 years!!) so needless to say, although we had paid until the end of the month, we were done that day....and to this day, the HC continues to stalk my daughter at meets..sits in a chair at the end of the beam when she competes, or right near the bars etc..you get my drift...and all while he doesn't have anyone competing in her session so he has no real reason to be there...so for the above scenario, I would never open my mouth again before I switched gyms, policy or not...

I actually don't think there's anything wrong with trying out a new gym without telling your own gym. I've found that once you tell your gym you are looking they get angry, take it personally and it causes so many problems. When we switched gyms I had DD's dad talk to the owner before we tried out anywhere and the coaches got so upset that we felt like we couldn't go back. One of DD's friends tried out with us and didn't tell the gym anything. She tried out one time and the went back to finish the month and think things over and the coaches found out of course and they were ugly to her. They were ugly to the child I might add and she was only 8 years old.

Yeah, my daughter was 12 when they did similar ugliness...



When we switched there was another girl switching from a different gym. They tried out before states, decided they like it and would change, but stayed at the old gym until after states without ever telling the other gym. I didn't find anything wrong with it. I don't feel like a gym owns the child.

My point exactly...and when it comes right down to it, it's a business and if you don't like the product, you can shop elsewhere, and in the perfect world it would be nice to smooth it out with the current gym, work out the issues and continue there, but some things require a gym move, period.

 

[3rd_time_around]

I don't know, I tend to feel like lovofu. After witnessing the sneaking around and deception of girls/parents who left our gym, the drama that followed, the back-stabbing and rumor-mongering, and all that (on the part of the ones who left), I feel like telling your coach you are just "missing practice" to try out another gym is wrong. Years ago my dd went to try out another gym, but I took her on one of her nights off, and it was a complete secret. She only tried it once, and then we discussed the pros and cons of switching and came to our decision.

If people want to switch, they will. Not every gym is perfect for everyone there, and you need to find what fits for you. But, you don't have to be sneaky and deceptive about it. There are ways to go about it that lessen the impact and don't always leave hard feelings. It is difficult, I'm not saying that even if you go about it above-board, etc, that there still won't be hard feelings and drama, but being sneaky and deceptive is never the right answer. I understand where lovofu is coming from.

 

[marie83]

**While this might be your "policy" and if I were at your gym I would sign whatever saying I agreed to it at the time, if the time came for me to move my daughter , and as you say "having been bit in the backside" , I would NEVER abide by it. Plain and simple, when we moved gyms a few years ago after many months of trying to rectify the issues, the coaches and owners behaved horribly..we notified them of the move and were going to stay until the end of the month but at the practice where I told the coach, the coach came in and said to the coaching staff, "don't coach her anymore and she can't be spotted by anyone here or use the equipment" (and we had been there 7 years!!) so needless to say, although we had paid until the end of the month, we were done that day....and to this day, the HC continues to stalk my daughter at meets..sits in a chair at the end of the beam when she competes, or right near the bars etc..you get my drift...and all while he doesn't have anyone competing in her session so he has no real reason to be there...so for the above scenario, I would never open my mouth again before I switched gyms, policy or not...

I am sorry that you had a bad experience. A few years ago I would have probably have agreed with all of you parents who say they don't see why they should tell the club.

However now that I am a head coach I understand how important good communication is.

First of all if a gymnast/parent is not happy they need to tell us why. Perhaps it is as simple as the timing of the class isn't suitable, or perhaps the gymnast doesn't like her coach. Perhaps it's more ambition based (we are a small club with the theory that everyone should be given a chance - we don't win many medals, but our gymnasts are happy and motivated, but this isn't a good fit for everyone, particularly the very talented gymnasts who could do well on the elite pathway)

If we can fix the situation, we will do our best!

Secondly if a squad gymnast just decides to leave out of the blue we need to fill her place as soon as possible, otherwise the club starts to lose money. (I know money isn't everything BUT when there are bills to pay it is very important!)

It's the same if a gymnast decides to leave full stop, we'd like to be told by the parent before hand, particularly if there is a 'fixable' problem.

As to being treated badly by coaches - we only ask that the parents tell myself or the other head coach. We will not tell anyone else until a final decision has been reached. However, this is also why we ask them not to train at our club until a decision has been made - children always let it slip!

Recently a coach came over to me and told me

"Apparently Susie is leaving to go to xxx club, she's already been for a trial. I don't see why she's bothered to come tonight if she knows she is leaving, it's a waste of my time coaching her when I'm clearly not good enough for her, I think I'll just ignore her and focus on the others"

I had to tell that coach she was out of line and that it was important for her not to treat Susie any differently. She was a paying member, and for all we knew it could have just been a tall story (This particular gymnast was known for telling tales). Not only was she a paying member but she was also a child (8yrs old) and in our care whilst at the gym club.

Anyway, upon speaking to her parent, it turned out that it was true. Susie hadn't been accepted onto the other club's team, but the family had made the decision to move her to their rec classes because the other gym was closer to home.

When we explained this to Susie's coach she realised how much she had over-reacted, and felt bad.

I honestly don't mind if a gymnast decides to move to another club because of wanting to train at a higher level, regardless of whether I think they have the ability or not. We haven't had many gymnasts leave us recently but we do see some at competitions who left a while ago. I always make a point of saying hi to them and their parents, and wishing them luck for their competition, we make it known to them from the beginning that if they ever want to come back to our club the door is open.
I don't understand why clubs would close their doors to gymnasts who have decided to leave!

 

[bookworm]

I am sorry that you had a bad experience. A few years ago I would have probably have agreed with all of you parents who say they don't see why they should tell the club.

However now that I am a head coach I understand how important good communication is.

First of all if a gymnast/parent is not happy they need to tell us why. Perhaps it is as simple as the timing of the class isn't suitable, or perhaps the gymnast doesn't like her coach. Perhaps it's more ambition based (we are a small club with the theory that everyone should be given a chance - we don't win many medals, but our gymnasts are happy and motivated, but this isn't a good fit for everyone, particularly the very talented gymnasts who could do well on the elite pathway)



** I can tell you that I had been talking to the coaches about the issues for over a year and when i saw that the promises for change and resolution weren't happening, I made the move. I thought because I HAD been talking to them all along that it wouldn't be a huge surprise and that we wouldn't be treated badly, but I was so wrong on that. They just had coached her as much as they could and she needed to move to a gym that had better upper level coaching that could teach the skills she was lacking...I wasn't dissing the gym, it was a fact she had outgrown the services they provided and they were convinced i was wrong but she never did learn the skill she was lacking from them. Fast forward to gym move....she goes to the new gym and within 2 weeks she has the needed skill and has been competing it ever since in every meet!





As to being treated badly by coaches - we only ask that the parents tell myself or the other head coach. We will not tell anyone else until a final decision has been reached. However, this is also why we ask them not to train at our club until a decision has been made - children always let it slip!

Recently a coach came over to me and told me

"Apparently Susie is leaving to go to xxx club, she's already been for a trial. I don't see why she's bothered to come tonight if she knows she is leaving, it's a waste of my time coaching her when I'm clearly not good enough for her, I think I'll just ignore her and focus on the others"

I had to tell that coach she was out of line and that it was important for her not to treat Susie any differently. She was a paying member, and for all we knew it could have just been a tall story (This particular gymnast was known for telling tales). Not only was she a paying member but she was also a child (8yrs old) and in our care whilst at the gym club.



**And this is how they should be treated....





I honestly don't mind if a gymnast decides to move to another club because of wanting to train at a higher level, regardless of whether I think they have the ability or not. We haven't had many gymnasts leave us recently but we do see some at competitions who left a while ago. I always make a point of saying hi to them and their parents, and wishing them luck for their competition, we make it known to them from the beginning that if they ever want to come back to our club the door is open.
I don't understand why clubs would close their doors to gymnasts who have decided to leave!

I would say you are in the minority here and maybe because you are in a smaller program is why you still have a healthy response to change..some of the gyms who think highly of themselves don't respond well at all to people leaving unless it's for a job relocation

 

[gymjoy]

I do not have a problem with the switching of the gyms, or even so much with the timing - though I find it odd and suspicious. What I had trouble with in the original post was the parents attitude - the sneaking around and bragging about it. What kind of impression are they trying to make with the new gym's parents? Hi, we are sneaky trouble makers who are taking advantage of your gyms good coaching to win rewards for our dd's which we can show off for ourselves. Way to win some friends!!

Ugh, I guess I just appreciate people who are more humble, respectful, and honest.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I would say you are in the minority here and maybe because you are in a smaller program is why you still have a healthy response to change..some of the gyms who think highly of themselves don't respond well at all to people leaving unless it's for a job relocation

and i hear that some club owners can't except this reason either. geesh...

 

[bpatient]

For some reason when I read this thread I thought of an article that I’d read years ago in USAG’s Technique Magazine. It took me only a moment to find it here: http://www.usa-gymnastics.org/pages/home/publications/technique/2005/3/businesstips.pdf

The article has to do with the question of how to ‘retain’ gymnasts, but the author suggests that making the business attractive and user-friendly promotes the health of the gym. As part of that (and the point that I remembered), he suggests that coaches should welcome back gymnasts who want to return.

That should work if parents, coaches, and gymnasts treated the business of providing gymnastics instruction as just a business. However, it seems that switching gyms can be as much a relationship issue as a business question. I think that’s curious: I suppose that the mechanic who has serviced my car for years might feel slighted if I visited the new shop in town for a tune-up, but he probably wouldn’t throw me out if I returned and offered to pay him for a brake job; and my physician wouldn’t glare at me and mutter darkly, “I’ve taken care of you for years, but if you don’t trust my judgment, just get out!” if I requested a second opinion. OTOH, I suppose that my wife might have glared at me if I had suggested that we “just see other people” when we were dating. In relationships, many of us put a substantial premium on the idea that at some point people should just settle in and stop looking—that seems to be fairly widely accepted when it comes to marriage, but is it true for the mechanic-customer, physician-patient, or, particularly, for the coach-gymnast relationship as well?

 

[Linsul]

My feelings on ethics and gym switching are a mixed bag. I can't say I'd handle it well if I found out in a shady way considering how I handled it when I got confronted with...a sampling(?) of other gym(S!) by the parents of one of my pre teamers. Since it's similar to the topic I'll share, from the 'jilted coach' perspective.

The athlete in question is amazing, talented, wonderful, etc. Every good adjective can be applied. She's just very young, and as such, not eligible for L4 anytime soon. One week she misses practice, this is unusual. Next day my phone is blowing up. Apparently one of her parents had come in (when I wasn't there, naturally) and 'came clean' about going to other gyms. Not just one, the old school L4 gym tour basically. Didn't just 'try out' or do a pre team workout, but did a full on L4 workout at each place. This was a full, dramatic confession with tears and all apparently.

So I call the parent, and I'm calm. I ask about the workouts, what she did, how long they were, how big the groups were, etc. I get told she was 'OMGAMAZING!!' I asked the parent if that made them happy with the program at those gyms. For an underage (for L4) girl to walk in with a few months of pre team behind her and look 'the best'. Quotes because it's grain of salt time, though its entirely possible, she's very talented and hard working. Or that the coaches were fawning over her DD in a large compulsory group, would they like it so much if DD was on the team and the coaches had moved on to the next shiny trial candidate? Probably not. Gyms had DD doing handstands on high beam, strictly verboten in my group. I told the parent why, and they seemed to think her willingness to do them was reason enough to plow ahead. I got mad then. PLENTY of skills can be done, but that doesn't mean they should. Consistency is HUGE in building skills and confidence. It is also something even the 'best' young athletes lack at times. The most major part of my job is to hand off confident athletes who know how to work with a coach to the compulsory coaches. NOT 'omgshehassuchhugeskillsandissoamazing!!' talent. In honor of that, they progress in a way that sets them up to succeed. To believe a coach when they say 'hey, you can do this.' and go for a skill. On the physical side, doing handstands at that age (and size) with no additional mats is no good for the joints. I asked the parent how much they'd appreciate jumping out a 2nd story window to regulation mats. May as well. If it's good enough for a tiny child to do a handstand dismount from the high beam with no raised mats, they should give it a shot and see how much their ankles appreciate it since they were going for 'knowledge from experience.' Not to mention the possible monster that could've been created by falling and crashing from the high beam. Oh, she could do it? Why could she do it? Of course she wouldn't tell a coach 'no', a coach has never allowed her to get hurt. Thanks for allowing others to tamper with obedience built on trust that took months.

Then tears, I was not sympathetic. When I expressed that, parent was mad. Said they did it to see 'how good their DD really was', so they could decide on if they should continue when age allows. I called that selfish, and greedy. Parent job is to shield them from the financial and dramatic aspect of the sport, and by dangling DD on a stick to hungry team programs they put in her right in the middle of that. Also I reminded them of how many long, looooong phone conversations I'd had personally with them where the program and DD's progress was explained. Did they think that was normal? Especially at a pre team level? Don't sell me the unsure parent act when I've been burning up my minutes to explain DD's progress whenever parents needed it. Conversations that included our gym doesn't continue to take time and money from families if we feel an athlete isn't a match for our program.

SO! Then the kicker: parent said "ok, no bull**** I'm worried about the quality of child gymnastics produces", and then proceed to worry, out loud, that since the gym is in an affluent city that DD would be surrounded by snobby kids. I would've lost it if I wasn't about to die of assumption poisoning. I told them they have no idea what the backgrounds of our competitive families are, reminded them that where an athlete trains isn't necessarily where they live, and explained my disgust at the notion of snobbery. We have families of all backgrounds, none of which are individual parents business. They're all gymnasts when they walk in the gym. Speaking of which, since we're still in the 'no bull**** zone' the gym is MY house. You are a paying guest, DD is the customer. You brought your insecurity and greed in, and now I have an athlete that's been exposed to coaches putting on their best 'recruitment face' by gushing nonstop, and programs that involved little training and tons of playtime. Do you really think she's not going to miss being 'special' or playing? She's not as stand out as you dream of because she's surrounded by other girls who are equal to her in ability and drive. Now she knows it, hopefully she can cope. I don't get up in YOUR house and tell you how to feed your kid, what their bedtime should be, or criticize the level of support offered at home, all of which affect how well things go in the gym. If seeing your DD succeed in other programs workouts, and being available by phone whenever just weren't good enough to cement the quality of her training here, you have decisions to make, as a family, before you walk through our door again.

It all worked out in the end, but it was pretty intense at the time. I assume still, of course, that we're still in the 'no bull****' zone.

 

[my4buffaloes]

when we tried out at our current gym, first we met privately with a coach. Then we went to the official try outs and met other coaches, she was tested, etc. Then we told our old gym we were leaving and immediately started at the new gym. I don't think it is right to go repeatedly (esp before a big comp like states) to a new gym, while still going and competing for the old gym. Just wrong.

 

[NGL780309]

I don't think it is always the parents job to let the gym know what the problems are and why you are looking for a new gym. If it's a problem that could potentially be resolved I think you should discuss it with the gym, but not all reasons for leaving can be resolved. In our case I felt like the coach was incompetent. I don't see a situation where you go to the owner and say, "Your level 4-6 coaches are incompetent so please do something or we are leaving." The owner already sees how the girls are scoring at meets. Do they really need me to tell them that getting last place at every meet is not desirable? If it's been going on for a few years and they've not made any changes, despite many people leaving, doesn't that show me that they don't really care? The optional team does very well, they just didn't care to spend the money to get decent lower level coaches.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I understand that there may be gym switches in the future for anyone, but do it AFTER the season is over. Word gets out very quickly and it just creates unnecessary drama for all involved. There was a family I knew who was going to switch gyms at the end of the season but had a few tryouts with this new gym before the season was done and was actively trying to recruit other teammates and cause unrest. At the State meet, guess who was one of the judges?? Yup--the owner of the new gym that this girl was going to. Very awkward situation. And the girl recieved a very "nice" score from this judge as well. Coincidence? You be the judge. Pun intended .

 

[NGL780309]

I wouldn't want to switch my child right in the middle of the season because of the turmoil it might cause her. Other than that I think each parent has to make a choice that's right for their own child. Hopefully most people will try to do it in a dignified manner. I felt like we did everything right when we decided to switch our DD. We let them know and we officially left her gym before she tried out anywhere else. Yet the old gym still chose to be ugly about it and say things to others that were never said.


It just made me that much happier that we had chosen a different place for our child. To me it was important to be open and honest because you want to be able to feel good about the way you carried yourself.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I've been reading all the posts here and can definitely see both sides of the issue. The gymnastics world is very small indeed. I would be extremely surprised if anyone was able to keep a tryout at another gym a "secret!." Seriously, I know in my area if anyone from another gym tries out at another gym, the word spreads faster than water rushing through a river!!! If it's not parents finding out who the new girl is and then talking about it, it's the girls themselves who spill their own beans! Not to mention owners/coaches who have their network. Yes, it's best if all the concerns are out in the open.... but as NGL has posted, even when you try to do the "right" thing, it can sometimes bite you in the butt! My DD left a gym after dealing w/some serious mental fears and blocks. I personally went to the owners, explained her situation (although I had discussed my concerns w/them many times and was told that "they have a plan." We just were never privy to what that "plan" was!). So we left, and then joined a gym that had a great Prep Op. program. It didn't matter that her old gym didnt' have anything like that for her..... we went to a few competitions to cheer on her old teammates, and then were suddenly "banned" from the gym while the parents who stayed behind were told outrageous stories about my attempts to "recruit" the gymnasts to my DD's gym. That was absolutely crazy!!! They were all still L7's and on that track while my DD was doing prep op. What a bunch of baloney. At any rate, I can definitely understand keeping your gymnasts plans secret until the last minute!

 

[3rd_time_around]

I understand that there may be gym switches in the future for anyone, but do it AFTER the season is over. Word gets out very quickly and it just creates unnecessary drama for all involved. There was a family I knew who was going to switch gyms at the end of the season but had a few tryouts with this new gym before the season was done and was actively trying to recruit other teammates and cause unrest. .

Yes! This is what I was trying to express before. We had a girl leave, and the HC was ok with it, they had a meeting, things couldn't be resolved, they were wished well.
Suddenly, 5 other girls just left right before season started, and one girl's cubby was mysteriously empty. guess where they were?

 

[kaenhu]

I have been thinking of this a lot recently because of the mass exodus and drama at our gym in the last few weeks. I honestly do not know what the "right" answer is. I too can see both sides.

One of the girls who was involved in the exodus at our gym left suddenly. The compulsory season ended last Dec in our state so this girl is post-season L5 and would be moving up and training for L6 next season. One Tuesday she was gone from practice, unusual, and then the next day she got on the power gym's afterschool bus and was going to their gym as a full fledged member. She never came back to say goodbye to her teammates or coaches and no one had a clue she had been planning to go.

Another girl, L7, in-season, also went with her on that Tuesday afternoon to try out at the same gym. Clearly these parents planned this. The L7 girl had a meet in a week and a half. During the week and a half, she talked trash about our gym while continuing to train there, and praised the power gym where she had done the try out. She told no one that she tried out except my dd, and my dd only told me. But she did sing the praises of that other gym and trash our gym, which was pretty much a giveaway.

Suddenly, another mom started talking about trying out at the power gym too--this mom had been on the fence about our gym for years now but stuck with it because she didn't think her dd would do well with the stricter policies at the other gym. Her dd also suddenly started praising the power gym and trashing our coaches. My dd asked her why she was praising this other gym all of a sudden and she said it was because the L7 girl's mom had convinced her mom that this other gym was great.

Later that week, when I went to the HC to talk about my dd's gymnastics schedule--we may be adding some hours during the day--the HC said, "well let's wait until the dust settles before we make any schedule changes". So our HC already knew about the girls trying out and she even knew that several other parents from our optionals and L5-L6 team had called the other gym requesting try outs. She is good friends with the other gym's owner and a few coaches and they all call each other when these things happen as a courtesy.

At any rate--I personally think that it is okay to try out at another gym if you are discreet about it and if you teach your children to be polite, respectful and discreet about it. I can also see that if you were in a gym like Marie83 where the coaches and owners behaved professionally and respectfully when a family wants to try another gym, then it would be helpful and honest to put it out on the table.

It's just that not everyone behaves respectfully and professionally and you just don't know how people are going to behave. It's just a hard call and I suspect that for some people it is a business relationship--the mechanic example--while for others it is a truly personal relationship.

 

[NGL780309]

I have to comment on the idea of 'recruiting" others to switch with you. This is often an accusation that is made when someone leaves and others follow suit. That is what I was accused of doing and it was completely untrue. The fact of the matter is that we don't exist in isolation. We have friends at the gym where are children spend so much time. We aren't required to end those friendships just because we leave the gym. Often if one family is unhappy, there are more that feel the same way. In many cases people are unhappy, but afraid to take that step and leave. When they see that someone else left and survived it gives them the bravery to follow. It also helps to know there will be a friendly face at the new gym. The bottom line is that if someone is happy at their current gym, it doesn't matter what someone else does or says. People aren't going to leave somewhere they are satisfied with just because someone else leaves and tells them how happy they are at the new gym. Leaving a gym is not an easy matter. In some ways it's like breaking up a relationship. It's hurtful and it's a big change. People don't leave places they are happy with.

In our experience 2 girls put in their notice (gym requires 30 days) without making a decision to go anywhere else. That was at the beginning of October. I decided to leave on October 31st. I gave up my deposit because I saw how the two girls who gave notice were treated in those 30 days. I'd rather give up my money than send my DD for another month when it's clear she won't be treated the same. We visited the new gym the following day and knew it was the place for us. The two girls that had given notice in October visited the gym after we had already joined and I was accused of recruiting them despite the fact that they had put in notice 31 days before me. Neither girl ended up joining at the new gym and they have both quit the sport, yet I was blamed for them leaving. 2 other girls from DD's old gym quit the same time we left. So in all they lost 5 girls at the beginning of November. Only my DD found a new gym and continued, the others quit. How is that my fault?

SKip ahead a few months and 2 more girls left DD's old gym and eventually joined the gym DD is at. I had maintained a friendship with them and I'm sure they came to the same gym because that made the switch easier, but they left because they were unhappy. The reasons were the same I had, but they stuck it out hoping things would get better. Things didn't get better and so they left. I was blamed for recruiting them. At the same time these 2 girls left to DD's new gym, 2 others left. One quit the sport and the other is at another gym way across town. So in all, the entire L4 team left. Only 2 ended up with us, yet I was blamed for causing a mass exodus. The truth is that nobody was happy at the DD's old gym. It's a shame because some of the girls that quit where very talented girls. After a season of getting last place at every meet they felt like the time wasn't worth effort.

 

[gym monkeys mom]

Change is always hard. Gymnastics is a sport but also a very personel relationship forms between families and coaches. I Believe leaving is like a death to all involved. Personal emotions are bound to get in the way both on the families part and the gymnasts and teammates who are left behind.

I do think it is important if you are unhappy to first talk to yur current club coaches and owners maybe they have no clue, then if no change leave as your attidue affects the whole team and can cause discord. I believe most folks do not ever mean to cause discord or breed negative attitudes.

For some the matt is bluer at another gym that is not to say there are not issue but maybe they are issues you can live with.

The gymnastics world would be a better spot if we all treated others as we want to be treated. this goes back to what we teach kids in kindergarten....Just my thoughts

 

[maddiemei]

I see both sides of the story. We were going to switch gyms after states (11/14). We had gone to the new gym to have the girls (a friend was leaving with us) evaluated per the coach and owner at the new gym. We had had enough of our old gym with the booster club, the owner, the coaches and everything going on. We had to give the old gym a 30 days notice before we could leave. That is what their policy very specifically stated. We did that. We did everything they asked us to per their own policy. We didn't tell them we were going to a new gym. It was none of their business. They found out though (through a gossip with way too much time on their hands at the old gym) and decided to kick the girls off of the team two weeks prior to state. They didn't even bother to call us or do it face to face. They did it through an email and stated it was a conflict of interest. The girls weren't going to be practicing at the new gym until December (after states) and we were still paying tuition and I had even paid for privates for my DD.

On the other side of the story, I don't think it would have been fair if the girls were going to both gyms and practicing with the new gym to get better scores or something like that. I think that is very wrong and even selfish. Our new gym is actually alot more laid pay. That's why we like it. If I wanted her to get better scores, we would have stayed at the old gym. Regardless of all the turmoil, she still got 2nd all around at states. She was more relaxed and her love and joy for gymnastics came back.

I'm sure some will agree with our old gym that it was a conflict of interest and they were right to kick us off. I just got tired of watching my just turned 7 yr old being made to sit in a split position with one leg on the mushroom and the other leg on the floor because she didn't keep her legs straight doing her mill circle. I got tired of watching our friends DD being made to climb the rope right after she got her first rip on the bars and didn't want to get back on the bar that day. I got tired of being accused by the booster club of starting trouble. I got tired of a booster club that was run by one level's parents. This same booster club refused to do an outside audit of the money because it would cost money to do so. This same booster club would charge us $50 for coaches expenses every meet. There were 33 girls that went to the meets. We were never allowed to see where this money was going to. When they were doing elections for president, they actually numbered the ballots so they could see who voted for who. The entry fee for a meet would be $67 and they would charge us $90 and when it was questioned we got accused of starting trouble. I got tired of going to a gym that had one bathroom with two stalls that boys and girls shared and one of the stalls had a broken latch (which had been broken for 6 months and we heard was still broken 3 months after we left). Grown men would not think twice about going in there when little girls were in the next stall. I got tired of hearing the owner say she didn't like gossip, but would turn right around and tell us things about other families in the gym or the other gym across the highway. I found it even more ridiculous that the gym owner would have her relatives sitting in the lobby listening to parents conversations.

Looking back, maybe we would have done things a little different but probably not. I still would have left. I just might not have said anything to anybody. I guess my long winded reply was just that sometimes there are several circumstances that you don't always know about. It's not right if they are just practicing with your gym to get better scores and they should wait to come until after I do agree with that. If their old gym kicks them off the team, would your gym be willing to take them? We were very lucky that our new gym could take the girls to state. They didn't have a level 3 team. Our two girls were the only girls their from the new gym. It turned out that one of the coaches from the state meet host gym comes and coaches at our gym on Wednesday's so she was able to hand walk the girls registration in.

Sorry so long.

 

[bookworm]

******************************************************************************************************
QUOTE=maddiemei;154381]I see both sides of the story. We were going to switch gyms after states (11/14). We had gone to the new gym to have the girls (a friend was leaving with us) evaluated per the coach and owner at the new gym. We had had enough of our old gym with the booster club, the owner, the coaches and everything going on. We had to give the old gym a 30 days notice before we could leave. That is what their policy very specifically stated. We did that. We did everything they asked us to per their own policy. We didn't tell them we were going to a new gym. It was none of their business. They found out though (through a gossip with way too much time on their hands at the old gym) and decided to kick the girls off of the team two weeks prior to state. They didn't even bother to call us or do it face to face. They did it through an email and stated it was a conflict of interest.

*******************************************************************************************************




Evidently the "policy" only went one way...this is another example of why i would never say anything before I made a gym move again...it's a business folks and don't think they're going to play nice when you decide to take your business down the road...