Idk that you need to go to a gym that has produced Olympians, but a coach, not necessarily a gym that has produced elites is a plus. That's not to say a gym/coach that has never done elite cant get you there, but they will be learning too. There is some strategy and relationships that are involved in getting someone to elite. Its not going to take the place of talent, but knowing the system, the folks on the national team, the judges, etc does help.
TOPS and Hopes I am mixed on. There are plenty gyms that have strong track records in elite world that do not do either program. I do think some gyms use it more as a marketing tool than actual program. At some point I think girls on elite path sort into 3 buckets (and I mean no disrespect to any gymnast at any level):
1. The special talented - these are the ones that have a genuine shot at Olympics, national team members, particularly at Sr. Elite level. Rarified air here, even girls who make the Jr. National team dont make the Sr National team.
2. The talented elites - these are the girls who enjoy competing elite, maybe for a variety of reasons, the pomp of competitions, the attention, and its pretty damn cool to say you are/were an elite. But while obviously talented, they are not going to make an olympic team or even national team. Again, rarified air here, there really are not that many elites in the US compared to the total number of gymnasts.
3. The talented training elite - these are the girls who could very easily be in the second group. They might have even gone through the elite qualifying process, but dont like the elite world, the stuffiness of the competitions, the lack of many meets, just the general vibe compared to DP. But they love to train hard, work on big skills, etc. Many of these are the top performing L10s
As far as what does life look like? You are looking at least 25 hours per week of training time in the gym, probably some home-school/online school format. Some folks I think are fortunate to live in the right location and have school options that allow for some brick and mortar education. But social life is definitely going to be, at a minimum, non-traditional when you hit the middle school and high school years. Plenty of obscure travel to either elite qualifiers or development camps, which really are not fun, tend to be high-stress affairs. Schoolwork is done in the car, on the plane, in the train, a small cubby in a hotel room, etc, you get the drift. I know most if not all the girls love the training and being in the gym around their peers and working hard. I just think its important from time to time to stop and assess where your gymnast is at, how she feels about things, being honest about future trajectory and which bucket you might fall into.