How things went, well, it's a bit of a long story, but I will try to shorten it.
Friday my dd fell apart. She wanted to quit. No actually, she was scared and wanted to run away from being scared and possibly failing at her goal of making westerns, and she felt like quitting was her only out. She was freaking out, I was freaking out, Dh was freaking out, coach was freaking out. I told dd she was committed to competing at Regionals, and somehow she would have to get through it. Her coach talked to her and basically told her she was not allowed to quit - she is too good of a gymnast, she has not reached her potential, and she needs to stop worrying about her competitors and about always being one of the best and just do what she trains to do.
Whatever else the coach said, it sunk in. By the end of practice, which I did not watch because I sat in the parking lot crying out of pure frustration, dd had decided not to quit. She just gets into the car, says her coach was right, she will not quit because her goal is at least a college scholarship which she really does want, and yes, she needs to put less pressure on herself. Her and coach agreed that dd would compete only what she was comfortable with at the Regional Competition. If that meant no bars or floor - so be it.
Saturday. Dd was a little nervous, but never wavered about going to the comp. Her coach literally ran over to hug her when she arrived. She competed watered down routines on bars (no double tuck dismount), beam (again, no big dismount) and vault (choose to be safe an threw a tuck, but scored well with it). She did do her full floor routine. She asked her team-mates who were with her to stand at the corners where she lands her hardest passes so she could see them. They happily obliged, and dd was able to pull of one of her best routines of the season. I do not know who was happiest - dd, team-mates, or coaches!!
Dd, of course, didn't make Westerns, but did medal with her floor routine. She asked to buy a new leo after the meet. I said only if we never go through this again!! She promised. We talked a bit more, at intervals, about how she can handle the pressure better by not keeping it to herself. That she needs to focus on what she is doing, not on what others might be doing better than her. That she trust her coaches, not say no to new skills before she works on them, and to always be honest and open with her coaches and us, her parents. We are all there to help her, to believe in her, and to back her up.
Her coaches assured me they have a plan for her to get back to the top of her game - and beyond. It starts with getting her mind working in the right direction.
To me, dd won when she walked into the competition. She won again when she did all four events because I know she was embarrassed about not doing her full difficulty, but she sucked it up with a smile on her face. To me, she was the best gymnast on that floor.
And that is the short version.
(One of her team-mates did make Westerns. The bitter-sweetness of dd's saga is that if she had preformed full difficulty on just beam and vault and received her normal scores, she would have qualified as well. Even with the watered-down routines she was only a couple tenths off of the scores of the girl who was the alternate. She knows this, but isn't bothered by it.)
We are now moving forward, and not looking back.
