Parents Fear & injuries - let them quit or encourage to stay?

[my4buffaloes]

Every year before we sign our contracts I talk to my girls about whether they want to continue. We have a long serious conversation about it. They know if they say they want to continue that they are committing for the whole year. I would not sign the contract and have her agree to go and then let her quit. She has to be "all in" before you turn in the contract and even though thoughts of quitting might enter her mind through out the year - it would be quitting at the end of the season.

My dd's level 6 season we talked for months about whether she should quit. In the end she decided to stay and has loved optionals. Optionals really are fun! Optionals can actually work around her fears to some extent. There was a girl on dd's team last year that would not do a BHS on floor. They worked around it, although sometimes she didn't get a 10 start value. But she was able to work through the fear and is even doing the BHS on beam now.

My suggestion is to lay it all on the line for her and explain that if she quits fine - she quits now. If she stays fine, she stays through next June. Make sure she understands and then let her make the decision after you talk about all the pros and cons of both. Good luck!

 

[sportsmommy]

I dont have the exact situation but close. My dd has major fear of the beam. She was hoping to do 6 this year but her coaches felt xcel was better for her for now. They hope it will take the pressure off. My dd had no desire to quit though.

 

[vagymmomma]

I think most of the other posters have covered the main points. Fears tend to resurface for those who have them, and the skills will just be getting more mentally challenging. And that gym commitment is crazy (I would talk to the owners - I think they would rather have 6 mos than 0 months of your hard earned money). My only other suggestion is to offer an alternative. We had 4 girls on DDs L6 team who were dealing with varying degrees of fear -- primarily on beam (back tuck on floor and strap bar giants were others). Tears every practice - they tried privates, bribes, you names it. 2 of the 4 quit and moved to a competitive cheer team. And they are SO happy now. The parents say they're like different children. After spending so many hours in a gym, they likely could use another outlet though. Gymnasts are great athletes so there are a lot of directions they can go.

 

[gymstaryaya]

I haven't experienced the fear factor at all with my dd. She has slammed her tailbone on beam, but after being out a week, went back and continued. She also fell off the high bar, twice in a week, which she never does. She's 9 and my advice to her every time was, you will have falls every now and again, gymnastics is a very hard sport, but you can't be afraid to keep trying to do something that you love because of a spill! Just try a conversation like that with her, maybe you'll make her realize that it's worth it. I truly hope that she recovers!

 

[munchkin3]

There was a 10/11 year old boy on our team who was going to quit at L6 because of giants, handstands on rings and some other skills. He simply said it would be impossible for him to do these and he was petrified.

coach said fine, and to quit during the summer....he quietly worked with him for the few months at the ends of the season after competitions, and before you know it, he had most of his skills for the next level. The coach tweaked the routines for him, something which is great once you get to optionals. (Mens gymnastics offers many alternative skills in compulsory). He is happy and successful.

sounds like you need a more flexible gym. One where she can do what she loves again. It must be a terrible feeling to go to practice day after day and feel fear and disappointment, and fear of your coaches! When kids feel successful, they will give harder things a try.

Is there another gym to try? Just to 'try'?

it is her decision, but Mom and Dad can help guide her, and give her the tools to make the right one for her.

 

[sglemon]

What are her long term goals in the sport? Does she want to be doing this in place of school sports? College? I also have a 10 yr old dealing with fear. She stopped rotating during a back tuck, fell on her head and strained her back. Now a skill she use to do easily, she won't do without 2 spots. She is a dancer and wants to dance in college, she won't do a flyaway, because she is scared to death about hitting her feet on the bar. Beam, more issues. If it came down to injuries like your dd, we would have walked away already. In the meantime, our gym talked us into staying the summer and try to work through her fears. They have been extremely supportive. I am not sure what we are going to do, at the end of August, but since my dd had other goals outside of the gym, it will be easy for us to walk away, if her fears don't improve.

I am wondering if she took a couple of weeks off in July, if it would help you dd to think things through. I wouldn't renew July 1 until you both know for sure.

I wanted to update my post. Our gym did bring in a second coach, to help the new level 5 & 6 teams. She just helps spotting on bars, vault and floor. The second coach has made a huge difference for the girls who have a lot of fears, and these 2 groups did. In the 2 short weeks, my dd got back her BWO on beam with no spot. She had that skill a year ago, but fear crept in, and she wouldn't even attempt it a month ago. She is still have some mental hold ups on that skill, but will do it on her own now. On the flyaway, her coach just stopped teaching her the tuck and moved on to the pike. She will do the pike flyaway from the high bar with 2 spots. She is more confident with the pike position, then she ever was with the tuck. But the BIG improvement, is that she lets go of the bar now, she wouldn't even let go a month ago. Finally the back tuck has moved down to 1 spotter, from 2. It is baby steps. Her coaches aren't forcing her. I don't even bring it up in conversation. When she makes a baby step, I congratulate her and that's it! I don't talk about it, or ask her anything. I don't want her to feel any pressure about the skills. This is something she needs to work through on her own terms.