Parents Gamecock Invite Meet report...Frustrated

[Ingwe]

I wanted to give a meet report and see if any can offer any advise along the way.

DD had a meet on Saturday (The Gamecock Invite, Level 7) It's been a rough season so far for her with having to deal with disappointment (for the 1st time ever) and not performing the way she always has. A lot of tears have been shed.

1st up was Floor. The Gym changed her routine last week a little bit. they took some things out and added some other stuff. She did a nice routine, she forgot a little part and you could tell that she had to think about it, but ended up with a 9.1.
Next event Vault. She went from scoring mid 9's last year to not even cracking a 9 so far this year. Anyhow, yesterday was no different and she scored an 8.55. I am not sure what is going on with it.
Now its on to bars and here is where the MAJOR frustrations come into play. I truely believe she is having a mental breakdown and I really don' t know what to do or how to help her overcome this. She does 4 amazing warm up routines, she was hitthing her handstand out of the free hip, beautiful Giants etc. Then it's time for the real thing . She starts off good, beautiful cast handstand, nice free hip and then the squat on. Not only does she miss it but she falls off and lands on her back. UGH!! She hops back on and before she's even all the on the bar she is jumping to the high bar. (I know this isn't going to end well LOL) she barely makes her kip up and then doesn't even come close to the handstand. She decides to go for the Giant anyway and somehow manages to make it around (in the sloppiest form I'd ever seen) but peels off the bar on the way down. That' s fall number two!! She stands there for a minute and then salutes. Her coach tells her she has to get back up and do her dismount. She manages to do that without any more disasters. LOL!!! Score....7.9 not really sure how she even mangesd to get that. I really need to find a way to help her get over whatever is going on in her head that makes her fall apart when it's crunch time. I told my friend that from now on I am just going to video her warm ups. LOL!!

Last up Beam. Usually an amazing beam worker. She is going strong and looking great. She goes to do her series/dismount and makes the backwalker and then fall on the connection. I am thinking, it's okay, she'll still get a decent score, until I see her back on beam and doing the series all over from the start. UGH!! It looks great, but she gets no credit since she was repeating the same exact thing. Ends up with a 8.3

She placed on Floor (I am not even sure where, maybe 4th or 5th) and somehow managed to get 7th place all round. (out of 15, so at least she wasn't last LOL)

Another meet on Friday (Charleston Cup ) here's hoping that she can actually put it all together. (or at least not fall on Bars twice. LOL)

Sorry for the novel.

 

[cathiann]

Sounds like she's letting her mental worries rule her. I know others can post the Allison Arnold website--she's been to our gym many times and she's fabulous!

In any case--even a bad meet sounds like it turned out well for your DD! Congrats to her on pulling it mostly together after a bad bars.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I agree with cathiann in that she may be letting this stress get to her. You also have to understand that each level is different and so is the scoring. You can't really base what they did last year to this year because there are so many other factors involved--new kids competing in that level, kids repeating that level so they are so much stronger the 2nd year, growth spurts and adjustments...the list can go on and on. And also outside stresses from parents, coaches and school can really affect the gymnast's psyche and ability to concentrate and handle it all. I think she finished pretty well considereing the falls on bars and the floor mishap.

You really have to take each meet as an experience--good or bad-and focus on the positives. Kids make mistakes and they are not perfect. We cannot expect them to go out and perform their best (compared to a previous meet) every single time out. And kids pick up on our cues very easily also. If we show them or express that we are frustrated or upset by their performance then they will also express those same feelings. In the reality of it all--your dd just had one not so best meet. Emphasize the positive and learn from the mistakes of the meet and move on. Put it in the past and focus on training in the gym and the next meet. It is important not to dwell on these dissapointments because it just causes more stress (and dissapointment) for the future. Learn from it and let it go. It really is that simple.

I hope I helped.

 

[Ingwe]

I agree with cathiann in that she may be letting this stress get to her. You also have to understand that each level is different and so is the scoring. You can't really base what they did last year to this year because there are so many other factors involved--new kids competing in that level, kids repeating that level so they are so much stronger the 2nd year, growth spurts and adjustments...the list can go on and on. And also outside stresses from parents, coaches and school can really affect the gymnast's psyche and ability to concentrate and handle it all. I think she finished pretty well considereing the falls on bars and the floor mishap.

You really have to take each meet as an experience--good or bad-and focus on the positives. Kids make mistakes and they are not perfect. We cannot expect them to go out and perform their best (compared to a previous meet) every single time out. And kids pick up on our cues very easily also. If we show them or express that we are frustrated or upset by their performance then they will also express those same feelings. In the reality of it all--your dd just had one not so best meet. Emphasize the positive and learn from the mistakes of the meet and move on. Put it in the past and focus on training in the gym and the next meet. It is important not to dwell on these dissapointments because it just causes more stress (and dissapointment) for the future. Learn from it and let it go. It really is that simple.

I hope I helped.

I do think that she handled what happened really well. She fell on bars last meet and then cried her heart out and it pretty much affected the entire rest of the meet for her. This time she did let it go and went on to have a decent meet.

I understand that. This thing with Bars has been ongoing ever since the 2nd meet. It's almost as if because she fell at that second meet and it is now in her head. It's the strangest thing. She is warming up and is relaxed and does a beautiful rountine. Then she salutes and starts her 'real" routine and completely falls apart. I think she is fixating on the one thing she has been falling on (the squat on) and for whatever reason just can't get past it. I wish I could I magically make those thoughts disappear from her head.

As far as comparing her to other girls, that is one game that I do not play. She is the only one on her team that is a 1st year 7 (all the others are doing yr 2) and the only one who went from L5 to L7. Huge jump and huge change. She is also the youngest by several years.

Thanks for your words of wisdom. I appreciate them

She has a meet this Friday and said her goal was to get a 9 on bars. I told her maybe her goal should be to only fall off bars once. LOL!! Of course I was joking, trying to lighten up the mood. She just rolled her eyes and said, wahtever Mom.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I think MDGymMom hit everything I would have said as well. She's a first year L7.... HUGE change in judging and scoring from compulsory levels. I think maybe skipping that L6 year is also affecting her a bit. Yes, many gyms score out of it, but it IS another year of working on that vault (with less stringent judging than L7), another year of working on beam and bars. Sounds like she doesn't need any help on floor!!!!

I would DEFINITELY take the focus off of scores tho. Nothing will make her lose the joy of this sport faster than focusing on what scores she gets and where she places. As long as SHE is improving, that should be all that matters. Maybe her goal should be to compete her bar routine without a fall, same on beam. Whatever skill she has problems with, make THAT one goal for the next meet. If she accomplishes that, then her self esteem is tied up intio what SHE can do, not what some random judge, on some randome day and at a random meet with judge her for. Did that make sense?

Becoming upset over scores or a flubbed routine will eventually wear her down over time, I guarantee it!

 

[MdGymMom01]

I would DEFINITELY take the focus off of scores tho. Nothing will make her lose the joy of this sport faster than focusing on what scores she gets and where she places. As long as SHE is improving, that should be all that matters. Maybe her goal should be to compete her bar routine without a fall, same on beam. Whatever skill she has problems with, make THAT one goal for the next meet. If she accomplishes that, then her self esteem is tied up intio what SHE can do, not what some random judge, on some randome day and at a random meet with judge her for. Did that make sense?

Becoming upset over scores or a flubbed routine will eventually wear her down over time, I guarantee it!

I totally agree with this statement 100%. You really want to focus on what she can do and what she can control. Judges scores and the randomness of the daily events are all things that we cannot control.

 

[GymnastsMomma]

I agree with all the others. One bad meet can turn into a learning experience for the future.

It will all pull together Mom!! Just give it time

 

[Ingwe]

I would DEFINITELY take the focus off of scores tho. Nothing will make her lose the joy of this sport faster than focusing on what scores she gets and where she places. As long as SHE is improving, that should be all that matters. Maybe her goal should be to compete her bar routine without a fall, same on beam. Whatever skill she has problems with, make THAT one goal for the next meet. If she accomplishes that, then her self esteem is tied up intio what SHE can do, not what some random judge, on some randome day and at a random meet with judge her for. Did that make sense?


Makes total sense. That's what I told her. Set little goals for yourself and then be happy when you achieve them. She's actually done really well on Beam this year. (This was her 1st fall) so she's is not even worried about that. This was her 1st 9 on floor this season and quite frankly, that made her whole meet. LOL!!

Thanks so much for your input.

 

[gymmomof1]

I agree with MdGymmom01, as you get up in levels (especially from compulsory to optional) the elements are harder and scoring tougher. It sounds like over all she has the skills (scores are mid 8s-9s) but is less confident in meets---so hopeful as she gets more competition confidence & practice in the new skills she will shine. Just keep giving her that love and support As for the judging if anyone figures that out let me know LOL.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Gymmomof1 is right on! As she competes more and gets more and more comfortable, those "warmups" will become her "competes"!!! Sounds like you're doing all the right things re: encouraging her in this sometimes crazy, unpredictable sport! Hang in there!

 

[gymjoy]

I agree with all the advice you have received.
BUT, I want to add that skipping levels can, in itself, be very stressful unless the gymnast is very, very prepared for the higher level. We went through this last year (my dd skipped 7 after two and a half seasons of 6). I especially think that the skip from 5 to 7 would be most difficult because it moves a young gymnast from moderate level compulsory routines into optionals where not only are the routines and skills different, but so is the scoring. IMHO, level 6, often a tough year because of bigger skills and tough scoring from judges looking for more perfection in details in this final compulsory level, is important to prepare for the stress of optional levels.
This is my soap-box speech concerning gymnastics. I have watched many gymnast, including my own dd, skip levels. She was excited when her coaches told her she would test out of 7. I was really wrapped up in it as well. She did have a successful year(beam champion at regionals!), but at the cost of injuries, stress, and near burn-out from the perceived expectations that came with the move up. I do not blame her coaches, or her, or me. We all thought it was the best thing. Her coaches do not take moving their gymnast up lightly. They tend to fall on the side of caution and dd went in with all her skills ready. What knocked her down was the idea (her own) that she needed to continue on the accelerated pace - pushing herself to master new skills faster then she could process where she currently stood. (does that make sense?)

My long speech is not an attack on Morgansmom or her dd's situation. It is just something for all parents to think about when the coaches tell your child and you to skip a level. Please weigh all the pros and cons with your child and coaches. Really scrutinize if your child is ready, not just with skills, but mentally and emotionally.

As for dealing with the block on bars. Dr. Ali's advice is great. Setting the small goals is a life-saver. One question for you - how are the coaches handle this with your dd?

Try not to worry, or at least try not to let your dd see you worry too much. Listen more than talk. And pray a lot if you are so inclined

 

[Ingwe]

One question for you - how are the coaches handle this with your dd?

Not very well. The meet before this last one (where she cried when she fell off Bars on her squat on) She got into trouble, during the meet, and pretty much for the entire week following the meet.
This time she was praised for how well she handled the situation and how very proud they were of her and her "good' attitude.
I have to be honest, I think a lot of her good attitude had to do with fear of what would happen if she didn't cake a smile on her face and pretend like it was the greatest meet ever for her.
My hope is that they will start talking to her about whatever is going though her mind before she hops on those Bars and maybe trying to come up with a solution to help her stop obsessing over making mistakes and just do the routine. DTMS?

 

[NOG]

I don't think that I can add anything that the others haven't said already, they gave great advice! It's very frustrating for us in the stands to watch them struggle with something (especially if we know that they are really are capable of doing what they are struggling with).

I think she did great though and handled herself very well! Great job!

 

[UnoMas]

Hi Morgansmom,

So, did you have to throw your food away at the door?

I'm sorry that she had some trouble at the meet, but, gosh, she is such a young L7, isn't she? We have never had a girl skip L6 at our gym and we have had some really talented girls...national TOPS qualifiers, etc. I can't imagine how hard that must be to skip L6 and go straight to 7 from 5. There is such a huge huge difference! She's dealing with SO much and, while she may not be doing as well as SHE wants to, she is still doing really well!

No advice really from me, just support! I can totally hear the "whatever mom" because I was told the same thing last week by my DD when I tried to comment on one of her goals for her next meet! Ahhh, they know everything, don't they?

Hang in there. Good luck to her at Charleston Cup. Our L7s will be there with you...but we probably won't make it to watch. My DD goes on Sunday at noon. We were prepared by our coach for some tough judging at this meet. Great, can't wait!

 

[Ingwe]

Thanks Madigym!

I have to say that I was VERY disappointed in how that meet was run. I really hope they make some changes for next year. I was practically stripped searched at the door. Then they won't allow food or drinks BUT the day we were there the fountain drink machine broke and they ran out of food. UGH!

Thanks for the kind words about Morgan and her bars frustrations. yes, she is young and hopefully with some maturity she will figure it all out.

We compete tomorrow (Friday) morning at 8:00 am. I really hate that early start time.

Good luck to your DD on Sunday!!!!

 

[Ingwe]

hmm, my post wouldn't go and the went twice. Sorry.