Parents Gym Decisions and Need Advice

[duyetanh]

I just reread your stuff and my vote is for the one over an hour away...heck I do that five days a week....

 

[Gymbugs]

That is strange. I thought parents were allowed to watch there.

The article said they weren’t.

 

[duyetanh]

The article said they weren’t.

Don’t believe everything you read.....

 

[Gymbugs]

Don’t believe everything you read.....

So the parents were aware of this and allowed it to happen?!?!

 

[duyetanh]

So the parents were aware of this and allowed it to happen?!?!

I am not saying that. I am just saying don’t believe everything you read.
And fwiw We don’t live anywhere near NC

 

[kitkat]

I would not leave knowing "very severe in their coaching methods" "break my daughters"
My daughter just left an verbally and mentally abusive coach. It was so bad she was contemplating giving up her scholarship. Which I have to tell you has been a goal of hers as long as I can remember.
There is nothing in this world that would make me go back ever to a coach like that again. Nothing... he almost made her quit gymnastics and I will never forgive him or the club for allowing and doing this to her.

Try and work things out with your current gym. The kids are happy which is most important.

My Daughter is six and very strong. She’s been training for TOPs testing when she turns 7. She is at a small gym with great Elite results. They qualified more kids than any small gym in the country. However, we have been upset lately with the gym for decisions regarding holding back team girls when they have all their next level skills. One being her sister. They want the girls to get high scores. My daughter wants to advance. It’s a big deal at the gym and the atmosphere is upsetting.

We are upset with other things to. We are considering moving gyms. There is a gym much closer to my house that is much cheaper. It’s rated one of the top large gyms in the NE. They have an exceptional elite program and a ton of level tens. However, they strongly suggest homeschooling. They have their own homeschool program. Also, they are very severe in their coaching methods and I don’t want them to “break” my daughters. That is why we didn’t go there sooner. Out of frustration with our current gym (where my kids are happy but we aren’t) we brought my kids into the other gym to be evaluated. They will move up my older one. She deserves and wants that. They were extremely impressed with my six year old and want her on the elite path. She will be their youngest one training for this on top of JO practice she’ll train one on one twice a week. This gym has several girls with developmental team invites.

My question is...is it worth it? What do we do when we are so angry with a gym for numerous reasons that you don’t want to pay or go in there but the kids still like it? Would you risk leaving for a better but more severe program? I think the bigger gym has a better chance to get her far and more connections. It’s also cheaper and closer but I don’t want them yelled at the way I’ve heard. I want them to be happy. I’ve noticed the current gym yelling lately pretty much just as much though. But the larger gym has parents leaving saying they are verbally abusive. Do we talk to the coaches at the big gym about our worries and expectations? We may burn bridges at the current gym and not be able to go back. The owners dislike the larger gym. I’m so torn.

 

[TumbleTimes4]

I would not put my child’s potential over their mental health. No college scholarship or even Olympic medal is worth the lifelong damage that comes from abuse. I think you need to ask yourself what kind of parent you would be if you placed your daughters in an abusive environment. Are their potential talents more important to you than their overall health and well being.

The culture of this sport will never change if parents continue to place results and college scholarships over the mental and physical health of their child. Please avoid this gym and be part of the change. If they are happy where they are at, then let them stay. In a few years they may even decide they don’t want to do Gymnastics anymore.

 

[vbdb]

Neither gym sounds like a great option at this point. And a child is NOT ready for L4 with a muscled up kip. Thinking a child should be in L4 just because they have a kip ignores the need to connect a horizontal straight body cast straight out of it, not to mention a long hang kip and good tap swings. Pauses between kip and cast and poorly timed, low tap swings will get your kid a 7 on bars this season. Good scores in L3 doesn't necessarily translate to L4 especially with vault now being to their feet and the big challenge of bars, I'd take the repeat at the current gym over the perceived glory of advancing in an abusive environment.

 

[l.c.o]

Sending you a PM

 

[kimute]

I would stay at your current gym. If they have elites and level 10s they are moving them up "fast enough". I know it is hard to see when you feel you have a kid ready for level 4 but I promise it won't matter in the long run. My DD is level 8/9 together with many girls who skipped levels and others that repeated levels. Both groups still have a chance to get to level 10 by the beginning of high school.

 

[doublestrike]

Way too young and junior in experience to be home-schooled. The road to level 10 and elite is long and demanding. Until it looks like your girls have a chance at Hopes, level 10 and beyond, let them enjoy school, activities and playdates. If they are happy where they are, don't mess with happiness at this level. The time to consider moving is when they are unhappy and at the higher optional level. I home-schooled my daughter one year, when it looked like she had a chance to make nationals. She made it, but is now back at school, going to football games and being a happy level 10.

 

[Gymbugs]

We decided to stay at our old gym. I wish there were other options but there aren’t. Thank you for all the advice. We’ll make the best of it!!!

 

[3rd_time_around]

We decided to stay at our old gym. I wish there were other options but there aren’t. Thank you for all the advice. We’ll make the best of it!!!

I hope it all works out and she enjoys herself.

I just wanted to comment that parents leaving a gym and saying things about verbal abuse are not always true. Don't believe everything you hear (but do be aware of what is going on in front of you at your gym). I only comment due to experience with disgruntled people leaving a gym and telling their new place things that aren't true. I also have met new parents that said they were afraid to come to my dd's gym because they heard it was an "abusive atmosphere," but after visiting and now joining have yet to see anything like what they'd heard. This is just to encourage everyone to find out things for themselves rather than going by what other people say. A visit to a gym and/or a couple of trial practices will reveal a lot of things about the gym and will help you make your decisions.