Parents gym move and leaving friends

[SHELOVESGYM]

I am feeling horribly guilty about our impending gym move. I know I have posted on here about some of the coaching issues that we have been dealing with for a long time now. I know that we can't continue at our current gym and we plan to make a switch very soon. Others are feeling the issues too and many of them will be leaving as well -some possibly to the same gym as us though the girls will not be placed in the same training group at the new gym. Others will likely be continuing at the current gym. DD is devastated by the thought of leaving her very close group of gym friends. They have been together for 2 years now and are a very tight group. I am feeling horribly guilty that I will likely have to make the call and insist that she leave. I am also concerned that without her group of friends to make gym fun she will stop loving going to practice as much as she does now. All that said, staying is just not an option at this point. How do I explain the need to move to DD (she is 9 years old, level 3)? Any tips to ensure a good transition to the new gym?

 

[Iwannabemargo]

1) Tell her its your decision, and as the parent you have decided.
2) Put up with the whining, waling and gnashing of teeth....................... for a bit.
3) Remind her she is there for gym, not a social life.
4)Remind her that there were X lovely girls at her old gym, so chances are there will be X lovely girls at the new gym.
5) Keep in touch with any of the girls who are also moving ( unfortunately the ones who stay you will probably loose)
6) if its bad where she is now, by the time Christmas is done with she will be loving the new place too.
7) Gin

 

[bookworm]

You do it quickly and completely...as in, " today was your last day and you will be moving to a new gym that has the coaching you need" ( and when you pick her up, make sure she takes all her stuff home "to be cleaned") ...and then you send an email to your (now) old gym thanking them for their time etc and stating that you are done at that gym ( do NOT state where you are going or get into the blame game , although they will find out where you are) ...something short and sweet ( "Dear HC/Owner, Due to family circumstances, Susie will not be returning to gym. Thank you for your time, Susie's mom") ...family circumstances can cover most anything so no need to get specific...

Another tip, do not give details to your child because she will divulge them unknowingly and you could be shown the door in a nasty manner...

 

[txgymfan]

^^^^^^. Yes, this! She may know a change is coming but don't tell her specifics until the deed is done. Kids talk with unpleasant unintended side effects.

 

[Momx3]

If she's younger, all of the above as you have to take charge of decisions like that for her. If she's older, I do think that the decision still lies with you but it's much harder to deal with. If you are definitely moving her, I think as quickly as possible would be best, like ripping a band aid or it's harder for everybody. Good luck.

 

[Natasha]

If she stays in gymnastics, her training group will change regardless as she moves up levels. Girls quit and move gyms. Either she will love gym for the gymnastics or she won't...

 

[skschlag]

Our situation was a bit different because our gym got rid of the boys' team, but it was similar in some ways. my ds had been with the same group of boys for about 8 years. 8 years. And now they were done, and decisions had to be made. He decided which gym he liked, and it was different than the gym a couple of others chose. He was ready to quit. He was in tears. I asked him to give the new gym one year. One season to see waht he thought. He agreed. Now he seems happy, and loves going to gym, and has made new friends, etc. So, my suggestion is to ask her to take it season by season. One season at a time.

 

[duyetanh]

1) Tell her its your decision, and as the parent you have decided.
2) Put up with the whining, waling and gnashing of teeth....................... for a bit.
3) Remind her she is there for gym, not a social life.
4)Remind her that there were X lovely girls at her old gym, so chances are there will be X lovely girls at the new gym.
5) Keep in touch with any of the girls who are also moving ( unfortunately the ones who stay you will probably loose)
6) if its bad where she is now, by the time Christmas is done with she will be loving the new place too.
7) Gin

and tonic!!!

 

[CTMOM]

She will make new friends. We had 3 girls move to our gym this summer from a local gym. The girls did not want to leave the old gym, but now they love it our gym.

 

[lovemygymnast]

You may actually be surprised! When my DH & I decided dd needed a gym switch, we flat out told her we were going to try new gym. Luckily for us, another friend tried the same day. She was super excited to go try it out and literally walked out exclaiming how much she loved it & wanted to switch. So, I'm just saying, you might not have to worry! We worried for no reason & we are sooooo glad we made the switch. Dd is 8 & L6. I fully believe had we stayed where we were, she wouldn't have the skills she has now. We wish we had made the switch sooner!! Don't feel guilty! You know your kid better than anyone and if you feel you would move her, it's your call. Good luck!!

 

[Flyaway]

Although it feels huge now, you will see that at gym, friends come and go. Some move out of town, some switch gyms, some change training groups. Sometimes it's you. That's just how it is. The love for gymnastics has to transcend all that. It won't be necessarily easy, but your dd will adjust. Allow her space to feel sad over losing the comfortable and familiar, but challenge her to find good in her new situation as quickly as possible. Kids are resilient. She may surprise you. Most importantly, do NOT allow her to see YOU question the decision. You must show through your actions and words that it will be ok.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Time.

No one gets through life without change. And no one gets through life only happy. Different emotions are normal.

Lots of good advice up above.

And the reality is she will have an adjustment period. Might be a sad and or angry at times. It will pass and she will adjust.

People will come and go in her life.

And if she doesn't, you will make another change. And so it will go.

My daughter changed gyms 4 yrs ago. It was hard for her at first. She now loves her new friends, some old followed her here, some of her new friends have left.

And yes there are girls she still misses. It doesn't consume her. We get together when we can. It's life.