WAG Gymnastics and ex spouses

[Max]

.........and your response was my exact reply, which was why I it was helpful to see the responses here. It seems rational to think that you can be proud and support your child if they are not an elite but not all think that way. It has really been hard for me to wrestle.

 

[BlairBob]

Fixed it Max.

Basically you just lost the second bracket

 

[Max]

Thanks so much for educating me BlairBob

 

[raenndrops]

This year, OG and YG have gotten to have their dad more involved in their gymnastics. He is in awe of what they can do. The first meet he went to, he surprised them (but I knew he was coming... he came to the hotel we were staying at and showed up at the pool while they were swimming). He had tears in his eyes watching them compete and teared up again when OG took 1st AA.

He only missed meets when there could be drama (or when he got injured at work an hour before he was supposed to go to the gym).

It's their mother that isn't as involved... but that is fine because she is only supportive if OG is "flipping tricks."

 

[COz]

Hey @BlairBob were you staff before and I didn't notice or is this a new thing? Congrats!

 

[cttay217]

We are going through this right now... it's really devastating to watch :-(

My DH has joint custody and the kids split the week, spending half with us and half with their mother; although they do go to school based out of their mothers address, which is 30 miles away (we do a lot of driving)! My stepson, 10, is enrolled in a program 5 min from our house, but 29 miles to their mothers house...there is no gym closer to her home with a boys program. DSS had a successful season first last year and placed first on floor at states. Our gym has been supportive and worked with us over the past year, but his mother is just not supportive. She will go to states and take pictures to post on FB, but in 2 years she has not once taken him to practice. We just got his schedule for this year, which has bumped to 12 hours a week and practice days have changed and more are on the days when DSS is with her. We have offered to pick him up and take him back, change days, have her take him, but she does not appear to be open to anything. DSS is devastated and DH doesn't really know what to tell him or what to do, The reality it that it looks like this maybe his last week on team, as schedules change next week. He left the gym in tears last night after breaking down to his coach- it's is breaking my heart to watch this be taken away after all of his hard work.

Based on the post, I guess that we are not alone....I just really hope that we an come to a resolution! I am wondering if anyone has tried to pursue anything legally after a divorce to make activities like gymnastics happen. DH has a couple of other issues that are going on with his former wife and they are headed to mediation already-I am wondering if this would worth talking with his attorney about or if this is not even an option?

 

[cbifoja]

I have heard other parents talk about having gymnastics arrangements written into their divorce decrees. DD's father and I divorced before she was in gym so obviously we don't have that in ours.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

here in the UK at 10 the child would be consulted on decisions and their views taken into account by the courts, have you tried mediation ?

 

[sce]

here in the UK at 10 the child would be consulted on decisions and their views taken into account by the courts, have you tried mediation ?

I don't know how the US system works, but it seems something is possible. I would fight for him in this regard.

 

[my4buffaloes]

If you are already going to mediation then bring it up for sure.

 

[Carolinmk]

I'm am currently going through this with my ex. he doesn't want to pay for my oldest dds last year of gym. He's keeps telling her there's no point because it's not like your an elite or going for college. I want her to go back because she's had a rough last 3 seasons And she wants to finish off her last year of gym having fun, no stress, just having fun like she used to. My current husband keeps telling me that he will gladly pay for her gym, but I don't want him to do that, it's her fathers job and it's in the divorce agreement. But there's also other things in he agreement that he doesn't follow through with. I hope everything ends well but no matter what my best interest is hers and she will go back to the gym for her last year, so she can have fun.

 

[Carolinmk]

I'm am currently going through this with my ex. he doesn't want to pay for my oldest dds last year of gym. He's keeps telling her there's no point because it's not like your an elite or going for college. I want her to go back because she's had a rough last 3 seasons And she wants to finish off her last year of gym having fun, no stress, just having fun like she used to. My current husband keeps telling me that he will gladly pay for her gym, but I don't want him to do that, it's her fathers job and it's in the divorce agreement. But there's also other things in he agreement that he doesn't follow through with. I hope everything ends well but no matter what my best interest is hers and she will go back to the gym for her last year, so she can have fun.

I'm just beginning this battle with my soon to be ex. He does not support either one of my kids activities but especially my daughter's gymnastics. He tried to put in our separation agreement that they could only be involved in activities that were every other weekend. He has never supported my daughter's gymnastics and has been to 3 meets in the four years she has been competing. I would love to put into my support agreement that he has to pay for half of their activities. We do have it written in the temporary agreement that he is required to bring them to their practices.

 

[cbifoja]

Because there are so many kids activities that only meet every other weekend....

 

[Carolinmk]

Because there are so many kids activities that only meet every other weekend....

Exactly! The real problem is I did everything and now that he is responsible for taking DD and it is an inconvenience to him.

 

[profmom]

We are going through this right now... it's really devastating to watch :-(

My DH has joint custody and the kids split the week, spending half with us and half with their mother; although they do go to school based out of their mothers address, which is 30 miles away (we do a lot of driving)! My stepson, 10, is enrolled in a program 5 min from our house, but 29 miles to their mothers house...there is no gym closer to her home with a boys program. DSS had a successful season first last year and placed first on floor at states. Our gym has been supportive and worked with us over the past year, but his mother is just not supportive. She will go to states and take pictures to post on FB, but in 2 years she has not once taken him to practice. We just got his schedule for this year, which has bumped to 12 hours a week and practice days have changed and more are on the days when DSS is with her. We have offered to pick him up and take him back, change days, have her take him, but she does not appear to be open to anything. DSS is devastated and DH doesn't really know what to tell him or what to do, The reality it that it looks like this maybe his last week on team, as schedules change next week. He left the gym in tears last night after breaking down to his coach- it's is breaking my heart to watch this be taken away after all of his hard work.

Based on the post, I guess that we are not alone....I just really hope that we an come to a resolution! I am wondering if anyone has tried to pursue anything legally after a divorce to make activities like gymnastics happen. DH has a couple of other issues that are going on with his former wife and they are headed to mediation already-I am wondering if this would worth talking with his attorney about or if this is not even an option?

You should absolutely raise it in mediation. This is exactly the sort of thing a mediator should be able to address.

 

[Carolinmk]

We have a whole section on gymnastics in our separation agreement. Who pays, who gets to go to meets, who travels, scheduling of vacations vs. gym, etc.

Lawyer thought we are crazy, but when that much of her life is in the gym (26 hours a week) and a significant investment, we have to be on the same page.

So far, so good.

Hope I'm able to get this in our agreement.

 

[profmom]

So sad to hear these stories. DD has two close friends/teammates whose parents are divorced, but both sets of divorced parents have been completely steadfast in their commitment to ensure that their divorces have not affected their daughters' gymnastics. The moms and dads both come to just about all of the meets, and sit with a parent or two in between them as a buffer zone.