Parents Gymnastics vs. Homework

[Tigtimes]

It will get easier in middle school, mine gets almost everything done during school hours.

The reading logs were always the hardest, especially if your kid can’t read in the car. In elementary she would read on weekends to log on practice nights, also we broke down 10 minute time blocks to get the almost half hour, 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes before practice, 5 minutes before bed.

You are not micromanaging at her age to help plan out the week and teach her how to segment little blocks of time each day so weekends are not overloaded. The non practice days will always require more homework time but it is what it is.. It will get easier, time management becomes a specialty to these kids.

 

[gymnastmom05]

I haven't had a chance to read all the responses but I will say a few thoughts with how we handled things. My DD is finishing up 8th grade now. 4th grade was by far our worst year as far as homework and gym (and I know that sounds crazy but I am in still in shock the amount of work and projects the school was sending home each day). Anyway, I don't think micromanaging is necessarily bad at this age. As long as you are managing her in a way that is teaching her good study and time management habits. My DD had one assignment flagged missing in 5th grade. I flat out told her, if I ever get a notification like that again, you will not be going to gym that night. It has never happened again. She knows her school work comes first. Most of the time that means she spends any second she has at school, working on homework. It means she's not socializing with her classmates when she has free time. I hate it for her but it also means she has less work to finish late at night. I think this comes down to your DD ultimately deciding what sacrifices she's willing to make for gym. For some kids, it's not worth it. For others, it is. Ultimately if you give her the guidance and the tools, she will come to her own conclusion. Now, if you don't have clear expectations in place, you could be finding yourself in this battle for quite some time.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Just remembered this. In grade school my daughter would chose indoor recess to do homework. So when she came home any non gym time she had was free time. She would do this even on non gym days, because she liked just running around the neighborhood more then the school yard.

 

[LJL07]

I don't have anything to add other than this has become increasingly harder as they have gone up the levels. A huge benefit to the crazy gym schedule has been learning time management which does not come easy to one of my girls who has attention problems and isn't naturally very organized. I have to say that they are the only two kids I know in both of their grades who have such a demanding schedule, although I know this isn't the case elsewhere. We just do not have many gymnasts where we live. I expect everything to be turned in and all assignments completed, but especially in middle school I have had to adjust my expectations that things are not going to be perfect. We have a lengthy commute to our gym, and I am very worried about 7th grade next year. My girls will not do homework in the car because they claim it makes them carsick. We have negotiated with our school about leaving early a couple of days per week--they only miss nonacademic classes on those days. I know this isn't an option for everyone, but especially for upper optionals I think having some flexibility is very, very helpful.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

I don't have anything to add other than this has become increasingly harder as they have gone up the levels. A huge benefit to the crazy gym schedule has been learning time management which does not come easy to one of my girls who has attention problems and isn't naturally very organized. I have to say that they are the only two kids I know in both of their grades who have such a demanding schedule, although I know this isn't the case elsewhere. We just do not have many gymnasts where we live. I expect everything to be turned in and all assignments completed, but especially in middle school I have had to adjust my expectations that things are not going to be perfect. We have a lengthy commute to our gym, and I am very worried about 7th grade next year. My girls will not do homework in the car because they claim it makes them carsick. We have negotiated with our school about leaving early a couple of days per week--they only miss nonacademic classes on those days. I know this isn't an option for everyone, but especially for upper optionals I think having some flexibility is very, very helpful.

My kids cannot even read or watch tv in the car because it makes them sick. I am very jealous of the kids doing homework in the car. One of mine says the radio -- especially British accents -- makes her car sick.

 

[LJL07]

Are you going to have a 6th grade level 10? It's always so amazing to me what kids are capable of.

She does! But she also has a modified school schedule. I am only chiming in because I feel like it is crazy hard to go to school full time and do levels 9 and 10. Add a commute on top of that, and it is nearly impossible--no matter how organized the child is. I am all for flexible schedules when possible for these kids to have balance. I also agree with @NutterButter that there is no reason to have hours and hours of homework when they are in school all day!

 

[A's Mom]

Thanks, all. Your perspectives are really helpful. I've been very resistant to asking teachers for flexibility. I explain what her schedule is, but so far, my attitude has been "at its core, this is an extra-curricular activity." I'm completely supportive and love cheering her on, but if I truly believe school has to come first, that means she doesn't get exceptions on due dates. We'll see how long I can keep that up. Because of testing, there's no homework packet this week, so next week we'll work on planning a more detailed homework plan and see how it goes. The idea of needing to teach them these skills is ringing true. Luckily, she has no problem reading and working in the car. It's just the will power to actually do it.

One of you mentioned anxiety, and we're definitely dealing with that too. It's fairly new, so learning to navigate it is my job right now. That said, as far as I can tell, her anxiety/moodiness is pretty normal for 9- and 10-year-olds. So maybe she'll spend the next couple years mastering some time management and problem-solving skills and be off to the races in middle school.

 

[GymDadWA]

Our elementary school stopped giving out homework and I'm not complaining. Just hope it doesn't come back to bite my kids if it really ramps up in middle school...

Our school did the same, they get projects and optional packets if they need extra practice with math and are encouraged to read every day for 30 minutes, but the busy work is gone. I was resistant to the idea at first but school wide test scores, increased enrollment in extra activities (sports, academic, artistic), and general happiness has shown how useless the busy work is.

Like your family I guess we'll see how the transition goes, but family friends with older kids have not had an issue with the transition.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I've been very resistant to asking teachers for flexibility. I explain what her schedule is, but so far, my attitude has been "at its core, this is an extra-curricular activity." I'm completely supportive and love cheering her on, but if I truly believe school has to come first, that means she doesn't get exceptions on due dates.

Flexibility doesn't equal not meeting or getting exceptions on due dates.

One of the reasons I think my daughters teachers buy into "flexibility" it has never been to move the due date for her.

I have always asked the work be giving ahead of time so we can meet the due and work it in with her schedule. That usually has meant getting the work slightly ahead, meaning Friday, so she can get started over the weekend. The fact that she is willing to do work on the weekend and I am not asking for daughter to turn in work late makes the teachers a lot more receptive to being flexible.

We don't have a lot of weekday travel and Friday meets but when they do happen. I give plenty of notice so my daughter has the work done before we leave. Or its turned in first thing when she gets back to school.

 

[LJL07]

Thanks, all. Your perspectives are really helpful. I've been very resistant to asking teachers for flexibility. I explain what her schedule is, but so far, my attitude has been "at its core, this is an extra-curricular activity." I'm completely supportive and love cheering her on, but if I truly believe school has to come first, that means she doesn't get exceptions on due dates. We'll see how long I can keep that up. Because of testing, there's no homework packet this week, so next week we'll work on planning a more detailed homework plan and see how it goes. The idea of needing to teach them these skills is ringing true. Luckily, she has no problem reading and working in the car. It's just the will power to actually do it.

One of you mentioned anxiety, and we're definitely dealing with that too. It's fairly new, so learning to navigate it is my job right now. That said, as far as I can tell, her anxiety/moodiness is pretty normal for 9- and 10-year-olds. So maybe she'll spend the next couple years mastering some time management and problem-solving skills and be off to the races in middle school.

I don’t think a modified schedule is necessary for level 4, and I agree with the person who commented that it sounds like she is doing on the high end for level 4 hours. I feel like the physical and mental demands of the upper levels warrant more consideration of a flexible schedule.

 

[Flicfliclay]

Are you going to have a 6th grade level 10? It's always so amazing to me what kids are capable of.

That is the plan yes.. gulp! It really is amazing I am awe of these kids daily!

 

[NutterButter]

For those who have mentioned anxiety...this is what initially caused my DD's struggle/inability to do her homework. Anxiety is real and in my experience had little to do with how much time she spent on extra curricular activities. When my DD was at her peak with anxiety, her only activity was a once a week rec gymnastics class (she started team gymnastics in 5th grade). Nightly meltdowns over homework should not happen. Melting down over homework is different from the kid who just procrastinates and gets mad when you remind them 10 million times to do their work. Anxiety is a different beast.

Here's what homework anxiety looked like for my DD between K-4 grades: obsessing over any handwriting whether it be copying spelling works or math problems (sometimes she would erase and re-write the same thing 5-6 times with tears and never satisfied with how her writing looked), being so stressed she literally couldn't comprehend reading passages so she would re-read them 4 times, when she had to write anything - paragraphs or sentences using spelling words she stressed over how 'babyish' her writing was resulting in several re-writes. All the while she would worry that her teacher would think she was dumb or stupid. What could have been completed in 10 minutes took an hour. At the time I didn't appreciate how anxiety could do this. She suffered in these early years which I regret.

By the time she started team in 5th grade my DD had already been seeing a therapist for months and was in a much better place. She also had matured a bit so was no longer as emotionally drained by simply going to school. She learned great coping strategies in therapy and gradually life was easier for her. I was still worried about how she would manage homework and gymnastics 3 nights a week but it was easier. Being physically active made for less anxiety. Being involved in something she loved also made for less anxiety. Being physically active and busy was a GOOD thing for her. It was often stressful to manage the homework but it was different from the anxiety meltdowns that she had in K-4. I had no hesitations to reach out to the teacher when things were too much. Teachers want to help too.

So I wrote another novel but this is something that I'm passionate about! If you suspect anxiety, please seek out help and coping strategies for your DD. You are not betraying your 'school first' philosophy by asking for help. Gymnasts are perfectionists -- this is one reason why they fall in love with gymnastics.

Also - I agree with the others who have said middle school got easier. 3rd - 5th grades were the worst!

 

[mom2newgymnast]

We've been really lucky so far with my dd. She's in 5th grade this year and just competed level 7. Her teachers in 3rd-5th have all been on the anti homework bandwagon. Other than a couple of projects and reading nightly, she rarely has had homework. I'm not sure what will happen next year in middle school, but I am nervous. I really don't see how there is time in the day to do homework unless they can get it done at school. She gets picked up in carpool and goes directly to the gym (15 minutes drive or so and she gets there late as it is). Practices are 5 hours and she gets home around 9:00pm. Dinner, shower and a few minutes of downtime and then she is in bed. She does have one weeknight off so she could get some done then if she knows the assignments. Still, very stressful to think about. All that to say, I understand and share your concerns OP!

 

[A's Mom]

NutterButter, my kid sounds like your kid. We’ve been managing stress and anxiety for the last year and her teacher has been a godsend. I want to keep her forever!

I completely agree that keeping teachers informed and working with them to help manage stress is good for everyone involved.

And just to be clear, she’s at the gym M/Tu/Th 4-7, which is pretty typical for a level 3 (she just started training level 4).

 

[Madden3]

Each week, she gets a packet (like 4-6 pages) of spelling exercises, spelling words to work on, and she needs to read a bit every day. This is not too much to ask. But because she's at the gym M/Tu/Th, Wednesdays and Saturdays turn into homework fights and anxiety attacks.

If she did not have gymnastics, or was doing it less, do you think it's possible you might still have the fights/anxiety? My anxious kid (then in 4th grade) had meltdowns over homework that was supposed to (and realistically would) only take 30-45 minutes per WEEK! He obviously had plenty of time to do that much homework despite gymnastics. Also, he could do the work - I mean, academically he was fine. He panicked because that is what anxiety does to you. It causes irrational panic to set in.

One thing that I had to learn was that my son and I would tend to get into an anxiety loop. My anxiety over him getting his homework done would feed into his anxiety and escalate homework time into a battle.

One thing that helped us was when I could take him somewhere public to do his homework. It was not a total fix, but it did help. Being out in public forced us both to at least try to remain calm and not freak out.

It does not sound as if your child needs academic help with her homework, but sometimes just having help at hand can be reassuring. Of course you are there, but if there are homework battles going on, your help may not be what she needs right now. Some libraries hold free homework help times. maybe your dd can do an hour or two with a tutor each week, just long enough help her learn she can do her homework in a reasonable amount of time, and it will all be fine.

I also agree with the 'less is more' homework crowd here. I agree that academic learning should come first ahead of sports/extra curriculars, but that is very different than saying home work should come first.

This is an interesting white paper on the research regarding homework: http://www.challengesuccess.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/ChallengeSuccess-Homework-WhitePaper.pdf

 

[Cheryl]

Middle school study hall has been great. He has an hour to study, work or meet with his group on collaborating projects. Much easier than elementary because there’s not as much worksheets/busy work, and a typical project takes a week to do. We also know there will be an algebra online quiz due on Friday. Our school has iPads for all kids, so they don’t have textbooks to lug around and it’s easier to plan school around the times we have free.

 

[PinPin]

We've also been dealing with major anxiety with our 9-year old Grade 4 YDD. No anxiety in gym, but plenty at school and with homework. The amounts of homework assigned were ridiculous due to the nature of our National Curriculum (took 2 hours + a day for my child). We have chosen to put her mental well-being first and have removed her from public schooling. She is now in a tiny learning centre with no homework and is blossoming.
I have never believed that school and academics should come first for younger kids, but this move has had a very positive effect on the academic side of things anyway.

 

[rebcoola]

We haven't had to do it but our coaches will have rotate out on their strong event to do homework. Obviously this is not an all the time solution but it works well for extra hard nights. The MS and HS girls all do PE through the gym and either get out of school an hour early or do study hall. We don't have any Jr & Sr this year but all that I have known do Running Start because its much more flexible a-lot of work but less in class time, and typically all dates for papers, test etc, are in the syllabus at the start.

 

[Cmumgym]

This is one of the best sides of the sport that come out from a young age. Time management. It’s so great to see how the children adapt to creating time for their gymnastics school work and socialising and it is so important. And it’s something they will carry through after gymnastics when they have a job and family etc. Early mornings and restful nights are the best way to help get into a routine. Homework in the morning so they are well rested. Some social time between school and gym. (If possible) and then early nights once home from gym. Any homework that piles up the children see and then get stressed and anxious by it. Just like we do at work. So by guiding her and giving her smaller amounts each morning will help overcome the stress and tears. If it’s 6 pages of writing don’t let her even visualise any more than two at a time because even if she’s done two pages and sees another 4 behind those pages that will get her worked up. So minimise visual content and set up a great schedule. If she falls behind due to not wanting to do it then I agree getting her to write a letter to her coaches letting them know why she has to miss a day of gymnastics will deffinatly not only give her the responsibility but also let the coaches know so that maybe they can help too. I.e not having any new skill drills the last hour of practice on a certain day so that for any child that needs to leave an hour early can for study and they won’t fall behind on their gymnastics. This is the absolute best and most lasting positive for a gymnast as it will help them in all aspects on adulthood.

 

[my4buffaloes]

She does! But she also has a modified school schedule. I am only chiming in because I feel like it is crazy hard to go to school full time and do levels 9 and 10. Add a commute on top of that, and it is nearly impossible--no matter how organized the child is. I am all for flexible schedules when possible for these kids to have balance. I also agree with @NutterButter that there is no reason to have hours and hours of homework when they are in school all day!

I don't think it is impossible to do upper level gymnastics and manage a full day at school. My kids (3 year level 9 and a will be a level 9 next year) have done it very successfully. Straight A's all the time. My older dd even did college classes half days and HS classes half days and made it work. I made sure they had a study hall. Every spare minute at school they worked on homework. And frequently 5-10 hours was spent on the weekends getting ahead and/or catching up. 20-22 hours a week in the gym, 25 minute commute each way.

But it isn't just my kids that can manage it. Our gym does not offer any sort of special program. All level 9/10 gymnasts practice after school 4 days a week and Saturday mornings. They all are making it work and have for years. It can be done.