Parents Have you ever.....

[AgingHippie]

Had another gym mom drive you so crazy that you start to hope your kid outscores her kid by quite a margin just because your tired of her comments. I have never felt this way before but she is driving me crazy with all her passive aggressive comments. Comparing gymnasts, analyzing practice, I hate it. Especially since her kids are awesome. I don't go to practice for a reason, I don't need your play by play. Sorry for the rant. I just had to get it off my chest before I flipped out on her.

 

[AgingHippie]

When I say awesome I mean in personality, I was not referring to skills. Just thought I should clarify.

 

[needcoffee]

Nope, all the mums in DD's group are totally awesome and supportive of all the girls. They cheer for other kids just as loudly as they cheer for their own kids. I love it.

I don't think I could handle stuff like that!

 

[auswi]

Breathe☺ Drink coffee/ eat chocolate, breathe some more☺

Lots of CGPs around. Best advice is to avoid. Or disassociate by reading a book/ earphones in & listen to music/ play on your phone -CB highly recommended

Seriously the only way to cope is to get some distance happening between you & her.

Sadly these kind of parents usually drive the most awesome gymnasts away from the sport.

Good luck.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I personally am OK with all the other parents but I don't really seek out their company either. Since I work at the gym, I choose to stay out on the floor instead and stay away from the parent drama, lol! I would say most of our parents are fairly supportive of the other kids but there is certainly an undercurrent of competition as well.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

hate that sort of behaviour. We have one always fishing for compliments, "Oh your Suzie is so wonderful, I wish my Sarah was as good as your Suzie" I just say yeah, we can't always have want we want and move on, didn't go down well tee hee

 

[LJL07]

There is a parent at our gym who is well known by both parents and coaches at every gym in the area (no exaggeration) for being completely obnoxious in person and on social media, and she promotes her kids at the expense of other children. It has made me very angry on and off because her behavior has hurt other parents and kids. I have taken a lot of deep, cleansing breaths, drank a number of margaritas, and realized that ultimately she is doing her own kids a disservice and nothing good is going to come of her behavior.

And I will add that her kids are super cute, so the whole thing is a real shame. And yes, the best thing to do is be cordial and not hang out at the gym.

 

[profmom]

Avoidance is the only winning strategy. If you refuse to rise to the bait and respond only minimally, she'll eventually get bored and go off to wind someone else up. And obviously do everything humanly possible not to be within earshot at a meet.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Yes, but not often. I was never like that until another mom made a particularly mean comment about my dd. Then I always hoped my dd would beat hers - which she did until her dd quit. I haven't felt like that again until very recently with a particularly passive aggressive mom. And she thinks her dd can and will beat everyone, so really I just hope someone beats her LOL. Doesn't have to be mine, just anyone else in our gym to knock the "I'm better than everyone" attitude down a notch.

I totally get it. But I try to keep it in check and very rarely go there mentally. Helps I am not a competitive person.

 

[l.c.o]

Yes. There are currently three girls/moms.

In early Sept, my DD was close to making cutoff for level 7, but didn't. 2/3 of the crazy moms are of girls doing level 7 this year, bragging about their routines, scores, etc, knowing my DD isn't doing the level. And one of the girls for sure has already been told she's repeating level 7 next year (would have been likely for my DD as well, which is why I verbally supported having DD wait another year for level 7), and the other has been told that repeating level 7 is fairly likely.

I like the girls, so I'm torn. I really do want them to do well, but I also kinda want them to repeat next year and that my DD creams them after having this spring to just train instead of compete. Not sure that's at all likely, for a variety of reasons.

The third mom has a girl above level 7, and is truly pretty crazed, so I avoid her at all costs. Like, she's seriously convinced her DD is Olympics-bound. And her DD is not close to level 10 skill-wise and is 13...

But these moms also very vocally use "tools" to motivate their kids which I refuse to do... Like, if you make your giant-giant-flyaway, we'll buy you a puppy, or if you score a 38, you get a new iPhone 6. One mom took her DD's phone away for a week for balking on vault (at one practice), and made her DD write vault coach a letter of apology. No way, no how. And these are just a snapshot of things these moms have said they've done (recently!!).

This is largely why I try to avoid entering the gym.

While sure, we'll often celebrate new big skills with froyo, that's the extent of my interference in that regard.

This all said, I LOVE all of the moms in my DD's group. They're truly decent humans and I hope that all of our girls have a ton of success and stay in his sport.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I stay out of the gym as much as possible and say as little as possible.

I have found as we are going up in level and skills, CGMs are thankfully getting quieter.

I do however love when our gym and especially my girl beats our old gym's coach. The one who said if my daughter couldn't do the extra hours they were requiring then maybe she wasn't cut out for JO and perhaps she needed to be rec. Every time she/we beat her, it warms my heart. Yes its petty and catty, I am OK with this. Because I think of all the time my kid spent sitting around doing nothing in the gym. Yep big grin.

 

[AgingHippie]

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone, it makes me feel so not alone. This mom's dd and mine are very close friends so it make it tough; couple with the fact that my dd has done better then hers the only two meets we have had I think it is just getting her upset.

We have 8 more meets to go so I am not sure how much more I can take. After our last meet she asked me if my dd was upset because a few girls on the team did better than her. I looked at her like she was crazy, that is not something that would ever upset my dd.

I usually get to practice about 20 minutes before pick up and only because dd starts to stress about not getting picked up if she does not see me or dh there (I swear we have never left her anywhere, just part of her anxiety ). I am starting to dread even going in for that long.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone, it makes me feel so not alone. This mom's dd and mine are very close friends so it make it tough; couple with the fact that my dd has done better then hers the only two meets we have had I think it is just getting her upset.

We have 8 more meets to go so I am not sure how much more I can take. After our last meet she asked me if my dd was upset because a few girls on the team did better than her. I looked at her like she was crazy, that is not something that would ever upset my dd.

I usually get to practice about 20 minutes before pick up and only because dd starts to stress about not getting picked up if she does not see me or dh there (I swear we have never left her anywhere, just part of her anxiety ). I am starting to dread even going in for that long.

Omg that comment about if you were upset that the other girls on the team did better - I would be so annoyed. She sounds like an internally competitive poison person - people who live to compete against those at their own gym more than those from other gyms are my biggest pet peeve . I'd avoid her at all costs - and I'd bring friends/family w/ me to meets to protect me from her crazy comments cause she probably won't have the nerve to make such comments in front of strangers.

She'll have a hard time if her daughter ever finds herself in a level where she struggles on anything, which is bound to happen.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I've had that mom - back in level 3. After 3 meets, would sit there and say how THIS is her daughter's day to win the team trophy. And she didn't mean it in an "OMG, I hope little Suzy gets it this time!". When Little Suzy didn't have the highest score (that's how they get to keep any team trophy), she would grab her daughter as soon as she got her medals, and not wait for any other age group or team award. It was very poor sportsmanship. On more than one occasion I did secretly hope that Little Janie beat Little Suzy... (and I wasn't proud of it! LOL)

Then this season there was a girl who kept telling my daughter she couldn't be the same level because she didn't have a skill (for the record, she had it, just had a paralyzing mental block at that time). And I found myself looking at her across the gym, saying to myself "Who do you think you are??" (because it was never said nicely, and it was during a time that DD was upset enough about the mental block, she didn't need to be reminded...)

There's always at least one in the gym. And sometimes you really can't help yourself with how you feel towards her.

 

[AgingHippie]

Glad someone else saw the catty side of that comment. I would not say her daughter is struggling right now but she is definitely on the lower scoring half of the team but they are still very good scores.

My DD seemed to be struggling to get some of the L5 skills during practice and even up two days before the first meet but than placed AA both meets while her daughter did not. I think that's why the crazy is coming out.

She seemed to revel in the fact that her daughter had some skills the other girls did not. The girls that took more time are now getting 9's on bars while her dd who got the flyaway early is not.

Her DD is capable and a good gymnast, her meet will come. I am sure of it, she just need to chill out. She said some not very nice things about some other girls on out team is well. It's exhausting.

 

[Mish]

Ummm......yes.

 

[sce]

I usually get to practice about 20 minutes before pick up and only because dd starts to stress about not getting picked up if she does not see me or dh there (I swear we have never left her anywhere, just part of her anxiety ). I am starting to dread even going in for that long.

Sorry you are dealing with parents like that. First, headphones. Wear them, so no one can talk to you. Second, you are not helping her anxiety by always showing up like that. It's like picking up a dog when it's scared of a strange dog. You send the message that being afraid is the right thing. You should remind your dd that you guys always come to get her and she needs to keep her focus on gymnastics and trust that you will be there at the end. Maybe start still arriving 20 min early but stay in the car when you arrive until practice is over. Let her know your going to be outside and will come in at the end. Eventually wean back until you can arrive just to pick her up.

 

[AgingHippie]

That's a great idea, I always get worried she is not going to get a good Vault pracroce (last rotation) because she is too busy stressing about a ride

 

[Ali'sMom]

Let her know your going to be outside and will come in at the end. Eventually wean back until you can arrive just to pick her up.

At 11 my daughter's anxiety was so bad we couldn't drop her off, my mom had to sit through all practices.
We finally made a weaning plan, and it worked. Now we can throw her out at the curb!

 

[z2akids]

We have a CGM at DD's gym. Her little gymnast is cute and I harbor no ill toward her, but my BP increases every time I see her CGM. While it is common to repeat levels in our area, I hope DD doesn't have to repeat this year. Not because I think she would be upset or mis out, but because I would love not to have to associate with CGM at meets, etc. DD's level is pretty close and we all tend to stay in the same hotel and do dinner or lunch, etc. I don't want DD to miss out on those things, but I cringe every time I have to listen to her go on and on about her gymmie's score or skill or how .......