WAG Help with a sad but motivated gymnast

[cbifoja]

No, the most hated posters have been banned. Luckily you didn't have to endure most of them. You pale in comparison to "Stretch". who was banned, and rejoined, over ten times!!!

Is that the same person who I knew as TripTwister or something like that?

 

[bogwoppit]

Is that the same person who I knew as TripTwister or something like that?

Sure is!!! That and another seven or so names.

 

[cbone]

What did they do?

 

[Natasha]

It sucks that wisdom comes through experience. After states last year I called her "Champ" for a while. I was just so proud and I wanted her to know that. I'm afraid I reinforced some bad things early on. Now I'm all-in on uptraining because it's so fun and she gets so excited. Plus, new skills are HER accomplishment, not a judge's opinion of how she did. It's a shame that I didn't have better perspective early on.

I am grateful for these struggles. Michael Jordan didn't get on his high school basketball team the first time he tried-out. Her BIG goal is to get to Level 10. I'm trying to help her see everything she does through that lens, but it's tough. I'm really glad I've had good people helping me get to a better spot as a gym parent. I CRINGE when I read some of my early posts (though I still laugh at the orangutan post that made me the most hated member of CB early on).

Cbone- We've all said "If only I knew then what I know now!" There are lots of things I would have done differently my dd's first year on team had I known which is part of the reason I now like to do the new parent orientation at our gym.
You were being a great dad and letting her know how proud you were and doing the best you knew at the time. (Which is why I will continue to have my soapbox of not giving placement or team awards at L3 or Bronze!)
Keep calling her Champ! Just "reframe" what Champ means. Champions get back on the beam after they fall off. Champions work hard at practice after a meet that didn't go well. Champions congratulate their team mates and other competitors.

My dd started out in the middle of the pack the first year, gradually improved, so we didn't have the exact struggle that you are having, but she went through her entire L4 and L5 seasons without ever having the experience of falling off the beam and having to get back up and finish her routine. Her L6 season I knew it would come and I was very nervous about how she would handle it having not ever had the "practice" of handling. When it finally happened she fell not once but TWICE. She got back up on the beam, determined to finish while fighting back tears. She managed to finish, salute with a forced smile and while her eyes teared up a little, she did not cry, she finished the meet, congratulated her competitors. My husband told her he was more proud of her that day than we was for any of her 1st place medals.
If you have a chance to watch an Optionals level competition (especially early in the season- not so much by the end) it would be a great chance for her to see gymnasts fall and get back up, get low scores and take it all in stride. And her 35 will seem very high!

 

[bogwoppit]

What did they do?

Ticked off enough members, moderators and admins to get banned once, then rejoined multiple times and repeating the same stupid things. Breaking rules definitely gets a ban, other than that we try to moderate our way through.

Honestly apart from the eleventy billion underage members I have banned, I have only actually banned three members in five years for breaking rules or undermining the Chalkbucket in an underhand way. Spammers I ban weekly.

 

[cbone]

Honestly apart from the eleventy billion underage members I have banned, I have only actually banned three members in five years for breaking rules or undermining the Chalkbucket in an underhand way. Spammers I ban weekly.

I always laugh when the "How old are you?" question gets dropped. I have to keep myself from posting "HERE COMES THE BANHAMMER!!!"

 

[Foxy's Leos]

I was an elite gymnast 20 years ago. I just recently, 5 years ago, started yoga to bring back some former flexibility and strength. I would highly recommend this to any current or former gymnast, their parents, and their coaches! PLUS, it is something you can do together which your gymnast would enjoy!

 

[Granny Smith]

cbone - my dd is a level 10, this is her 1st season. Her 1st meet she went out, had 3 falls, scored a 34.75, but she placed on vault & bars and shockingly even AA. The goal of this meet was to achieve a 32 to go to States. Goal accomplished. Back in the day, dd started as a L4. She went to 1 meet, where she had 1 shot to make the score for Sectionals, then she only had 1 sectional to make the score to go to States. she went to States and did all the events, no placements. At L5, she was one of the last to get her kip and her vault was sad. She made it to states and placed a a couple of things. At L6, she again made States. I think she finished in the top 10. I remember flipping out cause there was a girl in her age group who was doing L6 for a 3rd yr and she finished in the top 5 the previous yr. (what did I know back then, but geez at that moment I didn't really understand things.) At L7, she did fine. Always was finishing in the top 3 at meets, but always behind one of her team mates. At States, she finished as the AA state champ. It was a complete shocker.

After 7 states, she hit this huge wall! She couldn't get twisting. it was scary, scary bad. It started to just affect her tumbling in general. She was progessing on all events, but because of her tumbling she didn't think she was a good gymnast. she competed L8 and she was the only one on her team that didn't make it to Regionals - very heart breaking for her. Coach told her she was doing L8 again. Urgh, so all of her teammates moved up to 9, but her. She was doing 9 skills, little lagging on floor because of her twisting issue. I had parents ask me why she was doing 8 again because she had her 9 skills. I didn't have an answer. I was told by coach that although she had her skills for 9, she was not mentally ready for 9, so she would do 8 again.

Her 2nd yr at 8 was when the rules changed and she had to actually take skills out of her routines to compete 8. Her 1st yr of 8, she did a BT on beam, well now that could not be done at L8. so here she was taking skills out to compete the level she was told she had to do again. She was supposed to rock this season. She was winning every meet she went to, for sure she was going to make Regionals. I think it was after her 3rd meet that she broke her foot in practice. she ended up having a Jones fracture and it took 4 months heal. The 8 season was over, she was out from Jan to May. Moving onto L9 at this point.

Her 1st season of 9 was a total roller coaster. There were highs & lows, very inconsistent. As a parent, it was really draining. I couldn't stand the inconsistency, the way it affected my child. It was hard to see her struggle & couldn't do anything to help her. I got her set up with Doc Ali and that seemed to help. Amazingly, she qualified to Easterns. She went, she competed/ At this point, it was just icing on the cake. The hard part was qualifiying to Easterns. Turns out she competed on an elbow that required surgery and literally 1 month after Easterns, she had surgery on her elbow. She had multiple bone chips removed from her elbow and just cleaned out the area. She didn't get cleared till the end of Summer and didn't even start vaulting until Nov. it was determined that she would do 9 again.

Looking back she could of done 10, maybe a lower level 10, who knows. But, last year she did 9 again. Mentally, it was a great boost for her. She won every invitational meet she went to, with the exception of 1. she won States, she won bars and broke the state record doing it. She fell at Regionals and placed 3rd, but still qualified to Easterns. She had a very respectable Easterns, making podium 3 times.

Now we are where we are curently at. L10, a whole new level - it's like a whole new animal. this is where all the girls end up. She will compete against girls who have been at this level for years and some who are drop back elites. We set small, tiny goals. 1st meet, get the 32 to go to States - yay, achieved. Her upcoming meet this weekend - I think she wants to make an event for event finals (something she has never done before. The last meet that had event finals, all of her team mates made a final and we sat and watched them compete.) is it fair?? No, but it's life. It's what you do with the lemons you're dealt. the high points don't define who you are, it's the low points and what you make of them. If you dd is going to do this sport, both you and her need to come to terms with the ups and downs. It's not easy and I'll never say it is, but it is something you have to do.

Sorry for the novel, but I'm an old dog and have been around for a while!!!

 

[LizzieLac]

cbone - my dd is a level 10, this is her 1st season. Her 1st meet she went out, had 3 falls, scored a 34.75, but she placed on vault & bars and shockingly even AA. The goal of this meet was to achieve a 32 to go to States. Goal accomplished. Back in the day, dd started as a L4. She went to 1 meet, where she had 1 shot to make the score for Sectionals, then she only had 1 sectional to make the score to go to States. she went to States and did all the events, no placements. At L5, she was one of the last to get her kip and her vault was sad. She made it to states and placed a a couple of things. At L6, she again made States. I think she finished in the top 10. I remember flipping out cause there was a girl in her age group who was doing L6 for a 3rd yr and she finished in the top 5 the previous yr. (what did I know back then, but geez at that moment I didn't really understand things.) At L7, she did fine. Always was finishing in the top 3 at meets, but always behind one of her team mates. At States, she finished as the AA state champ. It was a complete shocker.

After 7 states, she hit this huge wall! She couldn't get twisting. it was scary, scary bad. It started to just affect her tumbling in general. She was progessing on all events, but because of her tumbling she didn't think she was a good gymnast. she competed L8 and she was the only one on her team that didn't make it to Regionals - very heart breaking for her. Coach told her she was doing L8 again. Urgh, so all of her teammates moved up to 9, but her. She was doing 9 skills, little lagging on floor because of her twisting issue. I had parents ask me why she was doing 8 again because she had her 9 skills. I didn't have an answer. I was told by coach that although she had her skills for 9, she was not mentally ready for 9, so she would do 8 again.

Her 2nd yr at 8 was when the rules changed and she had to actually take skills out of her routines to compete 8. Her 1st yr of 8, she did a BT on beam, well now that could not be done at L8. so here she was taking skills out to compete the level she was told she had to do again. She was supposed to rock this season. She was winning every meet she went to, for sure she was going to make Regionals. I think it was after her 3rd meet that she broke her foot in practice. she ended up having a Jones fracture and it took 4 months heal. The 8 season was over, she was out from Jan to May. Moving onto L9 at this point.

Her 1st season of 9 was a total roller coaster. There were highs & lows, very inconsistent. As a parent, it was really draining. I couldn't stand the inconsistency, the way it affected my child. It was hard to see her struggle & couldn't do anything to help her. I got her set up with Doc Ali and that seemed to help. Amazingly, she qualified to Easterns. She went, she competed/ At this point, it was just icing on the cake. The hard part was qualifiying to Easterns. Turns out she competed on an elbow that required surgery and literally 1 month after Easterns, she had surgery on her elbow. She had multiple bone chips removed from her elbow and just cleaned out the area. She didn't get cleared till the end of Summer and didn't even start vaulting until Nov. it was determined that she would do 9 again.

Looking back she could of done 10, maybe a lower level 10, who knows. But, last year she did 9 again. Mentally, it was a great boost for her. She won every invitational meet she went to, with the exception of 1. she won States, she won bars and broke the state record doing it. She fell at Regionals and placed 3rd, but still qualified to Easterns. She had a very respectable Easterns, making podium 3 times.

Now we are where we are curently at. L10, a whole new level - it's like a whole new animal. this is where all the girls end up. She will compete against girls who have been at this level for years and some who are drop back elites. We set small, tiny goals. 1st meet, get the 32 to go to States - yay, achieved. Her upcoming meet this weekend - I think she wants to make an event for event finals (something she has never done before. The last meet that had event finals, all of her team mates made a final and we sat and watched them compete.) is it fair?? No, but it's life. It's what you do with the lemons you're dealt. the high points don't define who you are, it's the low points and what you make of them. If you dd is going to do this sport, both you and her need to come to terms with the ups and downs. It's not easy and I'll never say it is, but it is something you have to do.

Sorry for the novel, but I'm an old dog and have been around for a while!!!

^^^^great post!^^^

 

[Natasha]

Granny Smith- Thanks so much for the encouraging narrative of the ups and downs! My dd is currently going through another "down" trying to get her skills back after being out from yet another injury and your post was very encouraging and a great reminder that there will be "highs" again.

 

[Granny Smith]

Granny Smith- Thanks so much for the encouraging narrative of the ups and downs! My dd is currently going through another "down" trying to get her skills back after being out from yet another injury and your post was very encouraging and a great reminder that there will be "highs" again.

The mental aspect of this sport is just plain torture, I almost think the physical skills are easier! I am still trying to learn to accept my dd for what she does, not what I think she can do. I see what she is capable of doing in practice and then she doesn't always hit at the meets, but I know she can. BUT, in the end that's my dd whether she had 3 falls or none and I'm still in awe of her. Meet results are just that one given day and how she does on that one given day doesn't define her. I saw her tweet (yeah, right technology) "I'm so happy with my life right now" - how can you top that???? It's on me to let go of all of the other stuff, cause it certainly isn't bothering her!