I did not bring her back to 1st gym we checked out because I couldnt trust them & thought it was sneaky & underhanded.
The flip side of this from the gym's point of view is, aren't those who they have invested in through their team program breaking trust, themselves? Doing something "sneaky & underhanded" by checking out another gym without being upfront and disclosing this to their current club?
A number of gyms have parents and athletes sign a Code of Ethics and Conduct handbook. Most of the ones I've seen include a section about athletes currently on team who tryout at another gym as grounds for immediate dismissal from the team and are no longer welcomed into the gym.
Now it's nice and all to believe the old adage, "If you love someone, set her free; and if it was meant to be, she'll fly back to you." And that if the coaches really had the best interest of the athletes at heart and had confidence in the strength of their program, they'd let you see whether or not the grass is greener in the other gyms with their blessings. However, as pointed out, they are running a business. I've witnessed the negative consequence of a dissatisfied gymnast leaving, rightly or wrongly; and all too often the family tries (and sometimes successfully) to convince other families to leave a program. That's when things can get really nasty. It harms morale and affects team cohesion. It can be devastating for a gym's program that might not have deserved the uprooting. Sometimes a change is necessary and beneficial; other times it was the wrong choice; and regrettably, no going back with bridges burned and lasting harm done.
Also as pointed out, the gymnastics community is very small and tight-knit. Everybody knows someone who knows somebody. The times where we've had gymnasts tryout at other gyms, we'd already find out about it before they ever officially leave or tryout. Sometimes the gym they try out at informs us; or we hear by word of mouth (and in this day and age of social networking, few things remain a secret; and why some handbooks also include a section addressing negative comments on social networks).
When gymnasts have been upfront with us, we've actually allowed gymnasts to try elsewhere. Most of those who have done so have actually ended up staying with our program. When our program was young and building and during a time when we only had one level 10 with up-and-coming level 9s, the level 10 gymnast still found it difficult to be "top dog" with no one at her level or better than her to really push her. We understood her needs; and although our higher optional program was building in strength and she was an asset to that, it would be too little, too late for her own personal needs. We let her go with our blessings; with the understanding that she would always be welcomed back to visit or rejoin.
Recently, we had a family who came perilously close to no longer being welcomed into our gym because we found out they were trying out at another gym. Their daughter was disgruntled because she wanted to be moved up a level and was struggling; spoke negatively about the gym in the locker rooms and bragged about how she was going to try elsewhere. Well, that family eventually came to realize how good they had it in our gym, how much their kids have grown up in it, and didn't really want to leave after all. Their decision as to whether they should stay or leave was pre-empted by our head coach who confronted them, said not to drag things out and to leave. Much communication later, in the end, they were allowed to stay.
I've worked at two prior gyms in the area. I know kids and families in several gyms. Some of them former students of my current gym. Am friends and stay in touch with many of these families. Former teammates of our current girls still often remain friends outside the gym and hang out together or communicate through social networks.
Bottomline: Nothing stays secret.
. Most of the things in our contracts around here are things like - you loose your meet fees paid to date and one months tuition you leave, don't be crazy in the lobby or at meets, who moves up is entirely at the coaches discretion, stuff like that...nothing like you will be kicked off the team if you even think about leaving. For the most part gyms know students are going to move around some and they are welcoming to new athletes and aren't bitter towards the ones that leave to go somewhere else. Yeah, I could imagine the departure of a star calibur L9 who had trained at the gym since she was 3 could get a little emotional, but I haven't really seen that type of situation transpire first hand.
