Parents How do I get them to calm down for bed??

[dynamicduo]

It is a HUGE struggle for us to get our 2 gymmies down for bed after practice! They go 4:30-8:30 4 days a week and they are wired when they get home. But they are exhausted too! It doesn't help that they have 2 younger brothers who are just as wild when they get home. We get home just before 9, feed the girls a small dinner, and tell them to read in bed until lights out. But, they end up staying up until almost 11 and it's driving me bat s&%$ crazy!!! They get so grumpy and testy and it's all due to lack of sleep!! It's really starting to effect their day to day in both school and gymnastics! I've yelled, I've whispered, I've taken away electronic devices, taken away privileges, I am out of options! HELP!!! btw- they are a young 9 and in 4th grade!

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

How long is your drive home? Can they have a large snack/small dinner in the car on the way home? That would save you some time. Once they get home, stick them in a warm bath, then have them read or perhaps watch tv for a bit, if they like tea then maybe a cup of herbal tea. No playing, no fooling around, nothing exciting. Make it almost a ritual. If they're too excitable, no tv (all kids are different, mine find tv soothing, some get riled up by it). You know your kids best. Is there any way the boys can already be in bed by the time the girls get home? It would mean them seeing their sisters less, but i can imagine that they get each-other wound up... And that's not helping anyone get settled in and in sleep mode.

Dd is the same exact age and she usually gets home around 7:30, at which time we eat dinner, watch tv, read and have a snack (take a bath on some days). Her bedtime is supposed to be 8:30, she usually drags it out until about 9. On Mondays however, she gets home at 8:30 and it's a struggle to get her to eat and settle down in a reasonable time. I don't take her home on Mondays, a teammates parent does, so I can't feed her on the way. I need to start implementing some of these things to our own monday evenings!
Most of the time, the hour-hour and a half she has after gym (except on Mondays) is sufficient for her to settle down and go to sleep. She does need some down time and a chance to see her dad now and then, lol! We do have to kinda be hard about bedtime and enforcing settle down time though, because she definitely needs her sleep. She's allowed to do some reading once she's in bed, she doesn't "abuse" that (as if any reading could be bad, really....) unlike my 12 yo who will gladly read until midnight when she's caught up in a book and then be miserable the next day.
I think her bedtime "ritual" helps her, it helps put her mind to the fact that it's bedtime.
Good luck, it's really hard to combine serious training with reasonable bedtime for these young kids!

 

[txgymfan]

It sounds like you are on the right track. I would not allow any electronics after gym ( including TV, and computers). Then you may considering asking your physician about giving them a small dose of Melatonin. Its a naturally occurring hormone available at drug stores and giving them a small dose may help their brains calm down. Please check with a physician but honestly it may help.

 

[iwannacoach]

But, they end up staying up until almost 11 and it's driving me bat s&%$ crazy!!! They get so grumpy and testy and it's all due to lack of sleep!! /quote]

Well there's two things you should do.

1. Look into melatonin. It's helped one of my kids get to sleep.

2. Work on your spelling, because the correct spelling for s&%$ is actually s!&#:%.

 

[profmom]

A few years ago, we more or less decided to stop fighting the sleep wars. The transition was ugly, but now we basically just enforce the ground rules -- no roughhousing or vigorous physical activity an hour before the recommended bedtime of 9:30, and only reading (not electronics) for the wind down when they are in bed -- and remind them that if they stay up past 10:30, they will be wrecked the next day. If they choose to stay up late, for instance to watch a sporting event on TV, they are not allowed to snarl at their family the next morning. They pretty much self regulate now. The gymnasts have one day a week to sleep in -- Saturday -- and I encourage them to use it. (The soccer player gets Sunday now that he's through bar mitzvah and confirmation and no longer has Sunday school, but he has brutally early practice on Saturday morning.) I would say that everyone is in bed at about 10:30 unless someone has a huge homework thing that couldn't be finished before gym. It's not ideal, but I figure that the experience of self regulation will ultimately be very valuable assuming they will go to college away from home.

 

[LIGYMMOM]

I'm assuming they share a room? Which would make it even tougher if they get each other going. We normally have a 9:00 bedtime, which turns into 9:30 by the time it's all said and done, then reading until about 10 or so, and twice a week it's even later because she doesn't even get home until 9:15. I second the snack in the car, even when she gets a ride home I send one with her in her gym bag, and I also second the bath or shower before bed. Even on her late days, dd showers before bed because I think it really helps with winding down. Washes off the day so to speak.
I just tried melatonin with my DS who has a lot of trouble getting to sleep, and he said it didn't make a difference, but I've taken it in the past and it helped me a lot. Sleep can definitely make a difference in your day and mood! Hope you get it figured out!

 

[skschlag]

We have used melatonin in the past with our boys, and it worked. However, there are some new studies out on it affecting their other hormones and puberty, so we have stopped. With no electronics at night, they are going to bed without it so we use the melatonin very sparingly now.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

P&F is 10 and her bedtime is normally 7.45, gym nights it can be 8.45 before we get home.

I am horrid parent so none of mine have ANY electronics in their room ( even the 15 year old)

Routine is Largish Snack before gym at 4, drive to gym, snack in car on way home from gym. Home, hot chocolate, change, clean teeth, bed. She doesn't sweat ( not many small children do) so there is no bath or shower, its always the same. Brother is changed and ready for be when she walks in the door so its drink, kiss, bed.

Its the way we cope

 

[Jenny]

I would eat in the car then straight into a warm bath when they get home. Warm milk/ hot chocolate while they read to you (this ensures they stay calm and focussed) until lights out. If you need to deal with all 4 children at this time I would read to them all together and insist they are quiet (older ones could read own book if not interested in the family book but must be quiet)

Insist on absolute quiet once lights are out. For the gymmies this is easy to enforce. For every 5 minutes they carry on past lights out you will collect them from practice the next time 5 mins early. Make sure you carry it out to prove the point.

Double check they are not having any sugar laden snacks or drinks at gym. Stick to water and healthy snacks. They could be stocking up on sugar near the end of practice.

 

[Natasha]

Shower or bath at night.
Also, we had a rule for a couple years with my daughter- if she was late getting up or grumpy (having an excessive attitude, whining, arguing with sibling, etc) in the morning, then I would have to assume she was not getting enough sleep and I would be picking her up 1/2 hour early from gym the next night. It only took once.

 

[cbifoja]

Bourbon?

Oh no, wait....that's for me.

 

[MyBoysFlip]

Love the picking up early idea. If mine don't go to sleep on time, we move their alarm back 1/2 hour later and they have to do piano practice after school instead of in the morning. This cuts into the only 1/2 hr of down/tv/electronic time they have on school days and they hate it. If they still get up early - we have quiet time instead because crabby piano practice does not work!

 

[BlairBob]

Spike their Hot Cocoa with Bailey's or vodka. They're small, a thimbleful might be enough.

 

[dynamicduo]

First of all, thanks for the laugh with the alcohol and how to spell bat s%#&!! I SO needed the laugh!!!
I told them that if they are tired after break to call and I will come get them early. Luckily we only live 10min away so it's not a problem to hop in the car to get them. They were actually quite shocked that I told them that leaving early was ok because they thought they might get in trouble!! So, at least I put the ball in their court and the decision is up to them!
And, I am going to try HARD to put the boys to bed just before they get home so they aren't all going crazy at once! Again, thanks for everyones advice!!