Coaches How do you tell a parent that their gymnast is really not that talented?

[gymjunkie]

I am not talking about kids who have no talent, just not as much talent as their parents think they have. I only discuss it when I have to: when the parent keeps asking, or in some cases demanding to know, why their daughter isn't (fill in the blank). When I explain why: while your daughter is really good at XYZ, she doesn't have a lot of natural upper body strength, speed, flexibility, etc. the parent seems to take that as something that will go away with more practice, a few privates, a few visits to open gym (some of them expect to see the problem gone a month after it's been identified). They don't want to accept that while their gymnast will improve, she will not catch up with the gymnast who has those traits naturally and also continues to practice, do privates or open gym. Is there a better way to help a parent accept that their child is only going to make it to level __ and not see that as a bad thing, since most kids who set foot in a gym never make it that far?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

show them the USAG athlete registration list. that's a start.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

It will fade with time, in the mean time make sure they are not watching every workout or it will just get worse...

 

[Faith]

Just tell them. It might be easier to give short term plans- so "I see your dd competing optionals by age x judging her current ability"- rather than saying she won't get past level 8. Some kids surprise you so I'd never rule anything out.

We asked our coach recently, as dd was going to have to give up a huge opportunity for gym. We wanted to know if the sacrifice was worth it. I know it's hard to predict, but coaches must have an idea where they are taking a child. As it was we got vague brush offs by the coach, so we had to look at her current level, the rate the gym were progressing with her, and kind of work it out ourselves.

It still worries me we may have made the wrong conclusion, but without the coach saying she has the potential to reach level x in the next two years, I'm guessing. It would have been fine if level x had been 5 or 8, it would just have given us an idea of where we were going...

 

[aerialriver]

No one has a crystal ball. Maybe that girl who cant do a pushup to save her life will be a College gymnast doing beam. Maybe that 6 year old level 10 fire cracker will fizzle out by the time she is 10 and join cheer. Personally I just wouldn't say anything let them pay their bills and keep your mouth shut. Let them spend a million extra dollars a month on privates and think Suzie is going Elite just don't promise them anything.

 

[iwannacoach]

Honestly, I can only coach and have no idea what the future holds for each child including your daughter. About the best I can do is tell you what I expect her to be able to do, with luck, in the next six months. Much of how that turns out is up to her because she is the one controlling her body and deciding things like how hard will she go today, and when the moment is right to put what I tell her to use. I'll spoon feed her the same way I do all the kids I coach, by making sure they get all the gymnastics they can digest.

I may notice that one kid shows more talent than the other, but really it doesn't matter because each child uses their talent according to the other things they have, like heart and determination, as well as optimism and the determination to go harder when their optimism fails them.

Let's all of us do what we can according to what we know. I'll leave the parenting to you, and coach the best I can with the effort and ability your daughter gives to the cause. Speculation beyond that should be considered for amusement purposes only.

 

[JBS]

Just enter them in a competition...they get ranked just fine there.

 

[gymjunkie]

show them the USAG athlete registration list. that's a start.

Does USAG publish the statistics on how few gymnasts make it to L10/elite?

 

[gymjunkie]

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I guess I'm just always surprised when parents cannot see what is so blatantly obvious to everyone else. I also get irritated when parents can't allow their kids enjoy the team experience even when they are not number 1.

 

[hawaii_gymnast]

Have you talked to the athlete and asked them about their goals in the sport for the year, end of year and long term. It might help to have a meeting with athlete and parent and ask the child these questions to get the parent on the same page as child. However the parent might ignore this but it could be worth a try.