Parents How should I tell coaches

[Tmacs]

How should I tell the coaches that we are choosing not to do a mandatory travel meet? There are 2 scheduled for this year and we will only travel to the closer one. My daughter is not optional yet and in fairness to our other kids who rarely travel for sports, we do not want to make this meet another vacation.
I really don't want to rock the boat because I love our gym and our coaches but we just don't want to commit to this. How far in advance do I tell them?

P.S. It's not an option for her to go with another family (too young) nor for me to go just with her (again, the fairness...)

 

[MILgymFAM]

I would tell them now. No point in delaying. I would also expect to still be on the hook for coaching fees. One of the reasons travel meets are mandatory for everyone is to help keep costs down for all the families.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Suzy will not be able to do xyz meet due to family commitments. Tell them as soon as possible.

JMO unless you live in a geographical area, where the only way to do a reasonable amount of meets or travel is necessary to qualify for states, or do states and regionals.. no travel meet should be mandatory. Especially at the compulsory level.

 

[3rd_time_around]

How should I tell the coaches that we are choosing not to do a mandatory travel meet? There are 2 scheduled for this year and we will only travel to the closer one. My daughter is not optional yet and in fairness to our other kids who rarely travel for sports, we do not want to make this meet another vacation.
I really don't want to rock the boat because I love our gym and our coaches but we just don't want to commit to this. How far in advance do I tell them?

P.S. It's not an option for her to go with another family (too young) nor for me to go just with her (again, the fairness...)

This will continue to happen the longer she competes, so you need to decide what you’re going to do in the future. My daughter and I often travelled alone, there was no other option. Sometimes she went with her coach, but the higher the level the more they travel.

 

[Tmacs]

This will continue to happen the longer she competes, so you need to decide what you’re going to do in the future. My daughter and I often travelled alone, there was no other option. Sometimes she went with her coach, but the higher the level the more they travel.

Oh, for sure. I don't mind doing more travel as she gets older/ higher levels. But I feel it's too early at L 3/4 to travel out of state twice.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

This will continue to happen the longer she competes, so you need to decide what you’re going to do in the future. My daughter and I often travelled alone, there was no other option. Sometimes she went with her coach, but the higher the level the more they travel.

Again, that would depend on the gym and geography.

And no need to decide on the future until the future is close to being now.

I remember when we were new to our gym. I hadn’t really gotten to know anyone and was already scheduled to work on a meet weekend. And coach went well can’t she just go with another parent? Umm no, not at barely 8 and me not knowing the parents. Absolutely not....

Now at almost 14 and having been at the gym 6 years. Sure there are a number of parents I’d let her travel with.

JMO at level 3/4. It is not necessary to travel in most geographical areas. If they have a few opportunities to qualify for states that should be enough.

Out of state meets don’t even count for qualifying for states. They should not be mandatory especially at the compulsory level.

 

[gymbeam]

Again, that would depend on the gym and geography.

And no need to decide on the future until the future is close to being now.

I remember when we were new to our gym. I hadn’t really gotten to know anyone and was already scheduled to work on a meet weekend. And coach went well can’t she just go with another parent? Umm no, not at barely 8 and me not knowing the parents. Absolutely not....

Now at almost 14 and having been at the gym 6 years. Sure there are a number of parents I’d let her travel with.

JMO at level 3/4. It is not necessary to travel in most geographical areas. If they have a few opportunities to qualify for states that should be enough.

Out of state meets don’t even count for qualifying for states. They should not be mandatory especially at the compulsory level.

What state are you that doesn’t allow out of state scores for qualifying to states? Never heard of that.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

What state are you that doesn’t allow out of state scores for qualifying to states? Never heard of that.

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We even have meets in our own state that aren’t meets that qualify for states.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

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We even have meets in our own state that aren’t meets that qualify for states.

This is an older calendar which listed qualifying meets and non qualifying.

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Link is not linking properly, if you go to events, NYS schedule 2015. You can see state quaymerts in yellow, non qualifiers are not highlighted

We can go out of state for meets. And if qualifying for states was on the line at that was the one meet a kid got a qualifying score. It wouldn’t count.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

This is an older calendar which listed qualifying meets and non qualifying.

Link Removed

Link is not linking properly, if you go to events, NYS schedule 2015. You can see state quaymerts in yellow, non qualifiers are not highlighted

We can go out of state for meets. And if qualifying for states was on the line at that was the one meet a kid got a qualifying score. It wouldn’t count.

That definitely varies by state. In my state, you don't have to qualify in your own state. You just have to send scores in from a sanctioned meet if you don't have a qualifying score in your home state. In fact, this year, almost all of our optional meets are out of state. We have only 1 meet that *may* be considered in state because the host gym is in our state, but the meet itself is being held in a different state about 30 minutes away, so I'm not sure if it counts as in state or not.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

That definitely varies by state. In my state, you don't have to qualify in your own state. You just have to send scores in from a sanctioned meet if you don't have a qualifying score in your home state. In fact, this year, almost all of our optional meets are out of state. We have only 1 meet that *may* be considered in state because the host gym is in our state, but the meet itself is being held in a different state about 30 minutes away, so I'm not sure if it counts as in state or not.

I’m sure geography has a lot to do with it. We have a lot of meet options in our state. So there is more then enough opportunity to qualify in state. Ourgym doesn’t make the rules we just play by them. We do meets that are state qualifiers at this point. We used to do some meets in NJ which is closer then many areas in NY. And those meets aren’t qualifying meets. We haven’t been to NJ in a few years.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I’m sure geography has a lot to do with it. We have a lot of meet options in our state. So there is more then enough opportunity to qualify in state. Ourgym doesn’t make the rules we just play by them. We do meets that are state qualifiers at this point. We used to do some meets in NJ which is closer then many areas in NY. And those meets aren’t qualifying meets. We haven’t been to NJ in a few years.

Timed out to edit. I’m would make an educated guess since there are so many NY meet options the rule is in place to encourage spending meet dollars in state.

 

[gymnastmom05]

I would tell them now. At this point, she might already be registered for meets so you could be losing that money. Still much cheaper than travel expenses but just know it's a likely possibility (and some meets don't allow scratches unless due to injury and sometimes gyms just don't want to deal with the headache of scratching and tracking down refunds). Most gyms don't "pro-rate" coaches fees either so expect to pay her portion of that (most gyms I'm familiar with don't break it down by meet anyway, they estimate their costs along with the number of gymnasts and figure it out that way). I probably wouldn't mention the fairness to your other kids. I would just simply tell them that it's not possible for your family/child to make "X" meet this year. I know we have had girls over the years for one reason or another that couldn't go to a travel meet even though they were 'Mandatory'.

As far as fairness to your other kids, if you stay at this gym and already traveling what you feel is too far in these lower levels, it's probably always going to be an issue you're dealing with. In my opinion, fair and equal are different. My kids are completely free to pick their sports/hobbies/passions. I definitely pay way more and sacrifice way more for my daughter to do gymnastics than I do for my son to play 3 other sports. BUT they each are given the opportunity to pursue what they want to do. That is completely fair in my opinion. If you're telling your other children they can't do XYZ because their sister does gymnastics and there is no time/money left then no, that's not fair.

As for qualifying for state meets mentioned, our state only does qualifiers for our state unless you're a higher level optional. It's in place to help the gyms hosting meets make money. Just like state qualifying scores aren't exactly super high. The more that qualify, the more money is brought into the host gym, the state governing board and USAG.

 

[Carly]

I would let them know as soon as possible in case they have not already registered for the meet. That way there might be a chance that you would not have to pay the registration fee. But I assume that you would have to pay all the fees associated with the meet.

I understand your concern about fairness but I have found that it's just too hard to do anything about it in terms of activities. My gymnast gets to go to fun places sometimes for meets. My non-gymnast has gone to NYC and other great places for her activities.

 

[kipnastic mom]

I would let them know as quickly as possible. Our gym has already started registering for meetings in the winter and you won't want to get stuck with registration fee's if you can help it. Our gym does have a policy for mandatory meets and valid reason's for missing. They also state in our contract we are still responsible for coaches fee's if we have to miss.

As your kids get older lots of sports have opportunities for away tournaments, meets, etc. Even school activities like band and choir travel for competitions. For the most part, we do not treat away gymnastics meets as vacations. The gym has rules about what they can and cannot do at away meets anyway, so they are pretty subdued. They actually state it is not a vacation and should not be treated that way. Usually, they are close enough that they only require 1 overnight stay which helps. My dd (level 7) does both gymnastics and soccer and my ds (non-gymnast) plays soccer. His teams do not traditionally travel, but, my daughter does for soccer and gymnastics. For us, fairness is allowing them both to participate in activities that they want and competing/playing where is required by the team. I figure in the course of their lives, they will both get to experience stuff that the other doesn't and that is perfectly fair. Normally only one of us will go to away event and the parent at home does something fun with my ds. We make sure that he doesn't miss out on his activities due to her having something out of town. If he doesn't have something we both go, and give our son the option to come with us or stay with grandma. Normally he chooses grandma as its alot more fun then watching a soccer game or gymnastics meet.

Lastly, the away things where you get to stay in a hotel, have team dinners and hang out with your teammates is really where the bonding happens. Last year my dd's team went to their first really far (plane ride needed) meet. The small team hung out the entire weekend and by the time they competed on Sunday were relaxed and hit their routines. From that point forward, every meet they improved as a group and by state, every one of them was in the top 5 of their age group. At the first meet of the year, only 1 placed in the top 5 all around.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Lastly, the away things where you get to stay in a hotel, have team dinners and hang out with your teammates is really where the bonding happens. Last year my dd's team went to their first really far (plane ride needed) meet. The small team hung out the entire weekend and by the time they competed on Sunday were relaxed and hit their routines.

Just an aside to the original post, but having read things along these lines for years, I just have to say that this is not something we’ve experienced. Across our family’s experience in gymnastics, regardless of region or level, there has rarely been this amount of camaraderie at travel meets. Most of the time, despite our best efforts, my DD only saw the girls in her session and then only at the meet itself. Everyone stayed in different hotels and did their own thing. I just wanted to put it out there that it’s not always sunshine and bonding.

 

[twinmomma]

Timed out to edit. I’m would make an educated guess since there are so many NY meet options the rule is in place to encourage spending meet dollars in state.

We're in CA with plenty of options to qualify in state and out of state meets still qualify you. Any sanctioned meet will qualify you. And if you look further at your state's meet schedule (i.e. 19 and 20) you'll see that "state qualifier" section no longer there.

 

[mommyof1]

Just an aside to the original post, but having read things along these lines for years, I just have to say that this is not something we’ve experienced. Across our family’s experience in gymnastics, regardless of region or level, there has rarely been this amount of camaraderie at travel meets. Most of the time, despite our best efforts, my DD only saw the girls in her session and then only at the meet itself. Everyone stayed in different hotels and did their own thing. I just wanted to put it out there that it’s not always sunshine and bonding.

Yes, there is a big difference between a meet where the kids travel together as a team with chaperones, and a "travel meet" where each family is on its own.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

We're in CA with plenty of options to qualify in state and out of state meets still qualify you. Any sanctioned meet will qualify you. And if you look further at your state's meet schedule (i.e. 19 and 20) you'll see that "state qualifier" section no longer there.

Yes because if you look, it now (2019 and 2020)) says right at the top, in capital letters.

2020 NY STATE MEET SCHEDULE​

ONLY NY STATE QUALIFYING MEETS ARE LISTED HERE​

So if the meet is not listed, it is not a qualifier.

Again, we do a meet in NJ that score can't be used to qualify. I can't speak to other states. But I do know my own.

And why I referenced 2015 so folks could see NY differentiates.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

From that point forward, every meet they improved as a group and by state, every one of them was in the top 5 of their age group. At the first meet of the year, only 1 placed in the top 5 all around.

The expectation is that they all improve as the season progresses.