The above is what I was trying to say in my reply that each child is different in their needs and wants, even in the teenage years. While many of the posts in this thread have been very insightful, well thought out, and true, they mainly focus on children with a more outgoing, socially concerned personality. While this certainly composes a large percentage of the children who leave gymnastics for other outlets in the teen years, it completely ignores the more introverted children who are also facing struggles at this time, just struggles of a slightly different kind.
I left the sport as a teenager (15), largely due to physical injuries, but also due in large part to mental stress. I lived for gymnastics because I loved gymnastics, not for the friends involved. My gym "friends" from childhood are no longer people I keep in touch with and their influence was not why I stayed or left the gym. I preferred spending my Friday nights in the gym, it was an excuse to not have to attend parties and dances that I would not have enjoyed anyway. The social pulls of teenage life played a very small part in my decision to leave the sport, and I'm sure there are other children like that out there.
So, besides injury, why did I leave? Because at 15, I felt as though my coaches had given up on me. That being at a lower level at an older age, I was an embarrassment to their program. I had goals for myself, goals which the coaches were unwilling to work with out of their own personal concerns and image. While many of these anxiety producing idea were self developed, the coaches certainly played a role in feeding my doubts about myself and my abilities. It was during these years that I needed, not less hours in the gym, but a coach willing to listen to what I wanted and a develop a plan that would have been satisfactory to all parties, to calm my fears of inadequacy and feeling like a burden on the gym and coaches, and help relieve the pressure I was placing on myself to achieve goals with no support from coaches.
Kids like myself are out there, and their needs should also be accounted for in this type of discussion.
Thank you so much coachmolly for bringing in another perspective! Yes, you are right...these teens are all individuals all coming to their own at different times. Even if they have been raised in a supportive & well balanced family environment other factors can come into play. I have witnessed girls going through what you speak of...feeling like their coaches have given up on them...that they are "old for their level" or they are an embarassment to the team/coach
. Shame on ANY coach or parent that lets these false ideas enter into a gymnast thought process!!! These type of girls are probably the strongest ones mentally!!! They chose to go in day after day because they WANT to do this, eventhough they aren't progressing as fast as the coaches want. They should be respected. But it seems like some coaches actually want to drive these girls away? There should be an acceptable(respected) placement for all girls who what to spend their time enjoying this sport.
As Aussie coach listed above, teens have so many options of what they could be doing with their "free time". What about the gymnast who has truly developed a love of the sport, but feels she is being forced out of the sport due to other reasons? Because she isn't fitting into the JO timeline. Not all gymnasts plan on going to the Olympics or even doing gymnastics in college. Can't those gymnasts still be encouraged to be all they can be?(sorry borrowed that from an Army commercial
).
So if we have a teen gymnast that has shown she has chosen to commit herself to this sport. Putting in the hours of dedication & hard work, but may be struggling to come back from injury or fighting fears. She has shown she has respect for the sport & her coaches. She shows up everyday ready to practice & do what she loves & what she can. Why then to do some coaches give up these girls who haven't given up on themselves??? Yes, coachmolly you are correct. Unfortunately I believe this is why far too many girls leave the sport
. I've seen it 1st hand on at least 5 accounts
. Maybe we need to make this a spin off thread on this angle of the topic?
In an effort to keep this thread on point. I think rbw is looking for ways to navigate the teen years for a higher level who is in a good place at this point. Sounds like you are already doing a good job rbw
! In addition to what others have said, I would just offer...let it continue to be her sport. Don't let anyone push her into something she doesn't want to do whole heartedly(ie: bigger skills just for higher SV, moving up only to struggle, going elite, etc). Even just feeling those "expectations" on her can be overly stressful & derail her(I've seen that happen
). Keep a constant eye on the BIG picture(what is going on at academically & socially) at any given point. And give her a "pressure release valve" when she needs one. Keep it as stressfree & enjoyable as it can be at the higher levels( I know that sounds like an oximoron
). Getting to L9 before highschool is great but it's not a magic pill. There are ALWAYS new pressures from outside & inside the gym coming into play. Keep your lines of communication wide open on all fronts, between you as parents, your gymmie & her school & her coaches. Make sure she KNOWS she can be totally honest with you about how she feels about the sport(and anything else for that matter) without fear of negative repercussions. If she wants slow it down...repeat a level just to ease some stress especially in highschool. And yes, she may even decide to take a break or quit. I've seen both happen to a L9's & 10's in highschool. Let her be the guide...it is her life & she should be enjoying it every step of the way. JMHO. Good luck!!!
