How to overcome fear?

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Kay_Hll

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Hi,

My daughter has been in gymnastics for several years now. She is a very conservative and almost always the last in getting the skills requirements for each level because of fear. Physically she is strong. She made it to TOP Diamond level two years ago and Team A last year. However, she struggling in trying to get all the required skills due to fear. She has been staying in level 6 while most of her local competitors in other clubs has been moving on to level 7. Any suggestions in how to handle the fear factor? Last year we got her through one of the floor skill requirement by doing a private session with one of her coaches and that seems to work. However, this year we get her through multiple private sessions and she still could not get by her fear. Any suggestions or recommendation that will help her overcome her fear? How do you teach a nine year old (she will be ten next month) to overcome her fear?

Thanks,

KH.
 
In order for a gymnast to do a skill their belief and desire must be stronger than their fear and doubt. Imagine her fear is on a set of scales on one side she must put all her doubts and fears and on the other her self belief and her desire to do the skill. If the fear and doubt are heavier she won't do it, but if her belief and desire are stronger then she will.

Being ready to do a skill is more than just being physically able to do the skill, they must be mentally ready as well as physically ready. If they are mentally ready they can see themselves doing the skill and almost feel inside their bodies what it should feel like. If they don't have this feel for the skill yet then they are not ready to do it and need to go back and do more drills and preparations until they feel they can do it.

All skills can be broken down and taken back a step to make it easier. Lets say she is afraid of doing her back handspring on high beam. Write a list all all the different steps from doing it on a line on the floor, to a low beam covered in mats with a coaches spot working through different height beams, mats built up to beam height, mats over beams and coaches spot until you have the skill on your own on the high beam. There are many, many different steps to go through. If your daughter is scared you can break any skill down like this and have your daughter look at the steps and see where in the list she feels safe, she should then go back to this point and keep working it until she feels ready to take the next step and so on.

Once she gets good at this her coach can say to her "What can we do to make you feel safe?" and she should be able to identify what she needs like an extra mat or spotting or something.

Another thing we do with our gymnasts is have a 5 step plan of attack when they have mental blocks.

Step 1 - Check your thinking. Make sure they are thinking positively and about what they need to do and not thinking "I'm going to mess up".

Step 2 - Visualization - Visualize themselves doing the skill beautifully.

Step 3 - Ask for help - ask the coach or another person to have a look and see what they can do to help out.

Step 4 - Go back to drills - go back to the last point they can comfortably do the skill.

Step 5 - walk away, some days its best to leave a skill alone and come back to it the next day rather than just keep getting frustrated.
 
Wow...thats a tough one to render without knowing your daughter. This is one for your daughter's coaches to solve. For the most part unless there is an underlying phobia at work then the coaches should be able to give your daughter the drills and experience she needs to gain the confidence she lacks. Basically by breaking the skills down and doing enough drills, then your daughter should be able to gain the confidence that she lacks. Here is a thread I started some time ago on this very subject that you may find helpful...

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Sometimes a lack of confidence stems from knowing that certain people do not think you can do the things you want to do. If her coaches are dubious of your daughter's ability then they may be tranmitting that fear to your daughter. In other words if her coaches are afraid that your daughter cannot do things then your daughter may be picking up on that. A heartfelt talk between you and your daughter may be a good idea to get to the bottom of this problem. Beware that she may be afraid to be honest. It might take some time and patience to get her to admit why she is afraid.
 
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I love her more then chocolate covered raisins! My oldest daughter used her "Warrior Cheerleading" program to overcome tumbling blocks and I constantly refer her to people.
 
Two words: Doc Ali.

(I second DbacksMom's suggestion! Alison Arnold is awesome.)
 

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