Parents If you knew then what you know now....

[RTT2]

Would you still have signed your child up for gymnastics? The Life After Gymnastics thread got me thinking about all of the positives parents and kids find in post-gymnastics life. So, if you could have predicted the crazy road ahead, would you still have wanted your kid to travel that path through gymnastics?

 

[Gymmamabear]

I'm not sure. Helpful answer?

There are good and bad aspects of it. I love everything my daughter has learned from it. Lessons that carry to every aspect of life. But I hate how I feel like gymnastics rules our lives. Everything is around practice and meets more so than other sports. Once they are in the upper levels it is especially bad. I feel like we can't go on long vacations. She should never miss. I think if I had to do it again I might have my child in a less intense gym, with less intense coaches less set on winning, and have her have no chance of doing college gymnastics. Because I feel like a lot of the craziness stems from - the fact that my daughter is good enough for that so it's a race to get there and lots of pressure to be a 10/make nationals/ have upgraded skills by whatever age. I think if I had to do it again I'd choose less intensity. Maybe even Xcel and just have fun with it.

 

[raenndrops]

Absolutely I would have done it again!
Of course we are not at an intense gym ... our gym likes to win (or at least to beat our rivals and improve our team best scores) and we do have individual "winners" across levels, even placing at Y Nationals (and some of the teams we face compete compulsories September-December and have 6 months to uptrain and still have time to perfect the old level routines to do "one last time").

 

[Exgymmomx3]

Not a Chance! The negatives far outweighed the positives for all 3 girls by a long shot! My son was a runner-loved that sport. Everything about it was a positive. The parents were fantastic, it was cheap, you can do it a for a longer time in your life, the sportsmanship was great, medals based on the clock and all the other positives of being in a sport-time management, hard work, etc.

 

[bogwoppit]

Nope

 

[tomtnt]

LOL, this is a depressing thread so far...

we're in the same boat as groovygirl...

I'm not sure. Helpful answer?

There are good and bad aspects of it. I love everything my daughter has learned from it. Lessons that carry to every aspect of life. But I hate how I feel like gymnastics rules our lives. Everything is around practice and meets more so than other sports. Once they are in the upper levels it is especially bad. I feel like we can't go on long vacations. She should never miss. I think if I had to do it again I might have my child in a less intense gym, with less intense coaches less set on winning, and have her have no chance of doing college gymnastics. Because I feel like a lot of the craziness stems from - the fact that my daughter is good enough for that so it's a race to get there and lots of pressure to be a 10/make nationals/ have upgraded skills by whatever age. I think if I had to do it again I'd choose less intensity. Maybe even Xcel and just have fun with it.

 

[skschlag]

Yes, I would. But maybe because MAG is different, or because we have been lucky..I am not sure.

But my L10 son has learned so much from this sport that has shaped him into the person he is. He gets to go to dances, football games, skiing, ice skating, on vacations. He has gym friends and school friends and he hangs out regularly with both. We have made a priority to not let gymnastics rule his life, but instead it is part of his life. A big part, but still not all of his life. Could he do more in school without it....yes. But no one knows for sure if he would. I love the person he is, and the young adult he is becoming, and gymnastics has been a part of that journey.

 

[mommyof1]

Yes, I absolutely would do it all over again. The one thing I'd do differently would be to switch gyms a year earlier than we did, which might or might not have cut a year off of the ridiculously long amount of time she spent in preteam.

One of my biggest goals as a parent has always been to ensure that my daughter has the chance to pursue her passion. More than three decades later, I still resent my parents for making me give up ballet and gymnastics when it was time to get serious. I absolutely did not want something similar to happen to my daughter, although I wasn't expecting or hoping that gymnastics would be the thing she chose. (I was really hoping it would be the thing for which she has amazing natural ability, but alas her passion did not turn out to line up with her talent.)

Another of my goals as a parent is to give my daughter the experience of working hard towards a goal and overcoming adversity. Gymnastics has provided that in spades.

My daughter is not necessarily the kid you'd expect to be a gymnast, or for that matter an athlete of any type. She is physically timid. She hates running, wants nothing to do with any type of projectile, and has detested just about every other sport she's tried. For the first few years of gymnastics she looked like a baby gazelle out there. But for some reason she loves to fly, even though she's often afraid. Through sheer force of will, she has transformed herself into a strong little athlete who is quite competent on bars and beam and has lovely presentation and flow on floor when she is feeling confident. She is a leader and role model on her team. She is proud of being able to beat the boys at push-ups in P.E. and of her few hard-earned medals. She loves being part of a team and spending time with other kids who share her intense, driven personality. JO gymnastics at an open-minded gym with supportive coaches has added all this richness to her life, and although the journey has been rough I'd never take it away from her.

 

[NutterButter]

The longer my kid is in the sport the more I move into the NO column. It’s not a solid no, but is stronger than even 6 months ago.

 

[flyinghigh]

Yes, even as we are quickly approaching her last season. It’s been more ups than downs but it’s time to move on. Injuries are bad (two surgeries) and a chronic injury but why she is learned in the sport will last a lifetime. This last season will be bittersweet but she will always be a gymnast at heart. So yes, we would do it again. It’s been a fun ride these last 10 years.

 

[John]

To answer this question I have to think about what it means to be a good parent. For me being a parent can be summed up with a few words, words like caring, sacrifice, and love. Do I like the stress gymnastics gives me? NO!!! The thought of getting to practice and learning new skills etc etc etc causes ME stress but this isn't about me. This is about the person I chose to bring into this world. This is her passion, If your child has been doing gymnastics more than half their life please know that this sport has for sure partially shaped them into the person we know. If you like that person and admire that person I think it is obvious to say yes I would do it again. If you feel gymnastics has had a negative impact on the development of your child then surely you would not do gymnastics again given the chance.

This is not my first rodeo. I have a 23-year-old who showed no love for anything for more than 6 months at a time. His life is fogging and he is still attempting to find his way.

For ME it is YES. My daughter was a shy timid 5-year-old afraid to speak but to only a few chosen people. Today she is blossoming into a wonderful young lady who understands that life is hard and unfair but with hard work and dedication she can be successful. Sure learned that through gymnastics. The coaches and teammates she has had over this 6 years have left so many positive memories.

 

[esor]

100% yes. I do think the the type of gym your kid goes to and the culture has a major impact on this answer too. Health issues/injuries also play into it, and the kids psyche. My DD loves the sport even when she hit lows. Her gym is a good gym, but not an elite level gym so the kids are allowed to have lives. She loves the team, has traveled on some really fun trips, and hopes to do college gym. She has also learned all of the other life skills gymnastics teaches -confidence, hard work, teamwork, how to fail and succeed. So would definitely sign her up if we did it again!

 

[gymmomtotwo]

I would probably have to say no, even though she has loved it and we have had alot of fun with it. My other kids have done other sports, and all the lessons, friends, etc. can be had in other sports and activities too. She is passionate about gymnastics, but watching her lose entire years/seasons to injury is a slow form of hell as her parent. Rapid growth, increased fears from injuries, set backs from injuries have all converged to slow down/stall any sort of advancement at this point. She is watching shorter teammates of the same age advance while she struggles or is hurt. I would never actively choose gymnastics knowing how many girls actually last in it past the age of 12. In what other sport would this be the norm? At her age most kids are just starting to hit their groove and start competing seriously, and unless something drastic happens she is on the verge of being washed up at 12. She is nowhere ready to quit, but part of me wishes she would and pick something else. She is so athletic, she could do so many other things..... But of course, it is her journey.

 

[Mish]

This is tough to say, but I think no. My lv 7 daughter has created lasting memonries with her teammates, has had numerous successes both medal wise and mental wise, is strong, smart, a hard worker and has faced her fears. She has always loved being a gymnast, but is not consumed with gymnastics in general. She has not been able to pursue some things that I think she would have had equal success at, with less stress and less time intensity. She has the ability to make it to lv 10, but not sure if this will be her path. I think she could learn the same life lessons following another path with less to give up (injuries, time, etc.). But this is her path, so we shall see...

 

[MILgymFAM]

I would say yes, but I would definitely have steered them both differently down their gymnastics paths. I am so happy that my girls have had gymnastics in their lives, but I do think we made many mistakes for such a short time in the sport.

 

[3cats]

I'm on the fence too. I wish we would have gone with Xcel in the beginning as well. She's a good gymnast in a good gym. Our gym doesn't have elites, but they do have girls get college scholarships.

It's a consuming life. An all encompassing culture. Even though our coaches are great and pretty nurturing, they still have tough expectations. They have little compassion for the normal challenges and experiences of growing up.

I feel like I am always fighting a battle of making sure my daughter has a life and making sure she is in the good graces of her coaches.

Now that my boys are entering their own sports I see the different expectations that their sport and coaches have on them and that it is much more forgiving to the maturing child. And just plain friendlier to the athletes and their families in general.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

I would probably have to say no, even though she has loved it and we have had alot of fun with it. My other kids have done other sports, and all the lessons, friends, etc. can be had in other sports and activities too. She is passionate about gymnastics, but watching her lose entire years/seasons to injury is a slow form of hell as her parent. Rapid growth, increased fears from injuries, set backs from injuries have all converged to slow down/stall any sort of advancement at this point. She is watching shorter teammates of the same age advance while she struggles or is hurt. I would never actively choose gymnastics knowing how many girls actually last in it past the age of 12. In what other sport would this be the norm? At her age most kids are just starting to hit their groove and start competing seriously, and unless something drastic happens she is on the verge of being washed up at 12. She is nowhere ready to quit, but part of me wishes she would and pick something else. She is so athletic, she could do so many other things..... But of course, it is her journey.

I'd like to see some data on this. Who is left in the sport broken down by age not level. In my state, which has a very large population, there are only a handful of gyms that have more than 1 or 2 level 9s and 10s. Multiyear 10s all end up migrating to two gyms so it's hard to know what is going on. I see so few girls 14 or older left at all.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I think there is too much stigma put on older girls in gymnastics that it makes it an unlikely choice for many to continue to make. If you’re not at the tippy top levels and legitimately chasing big dreams, the sport as a whole seems to collectively brush you off as not worthy. For instance, states- in our state there is a senior form to fill out for L8 and up. If you’re below L8, I guess they don’t see it as worthy the recognition. I’d argue that a girl who pushed her way through the lower levels at an older age would deserve that little shout out of recognition just as much, and maybe more. Again, I know I’m biased here... we all have our own lenses to see through, but I think maybe teens of all levels feel more welcomed would change the landscape.

 

[gymgal]

Yes, If I had a do over, I still would have signed her up for those classes and let her go onto team. There are many things over the years I may have changed about her journey, in hindsight, but not whether I would let her pursue her passion. Of course, I am 15 years into this journey, and now know that gymnastics truly is her passion, one that she wants to continue it in college so I come from a different perspective.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

Yes, If I had a do over, I still would have signed her up for those classes and let her go onto team. There are many things over the years I may have changed about her journey, in hindsight, but not whether I would let her pursue her passion. Of course, I am 15 years into this journey, and now know that gymnastics truly is her passion, one that she wants to continue it in college so I come from a different perspective.

I think you are absolutely right. When you are older people emphasize the end game more. If you don't want to do college gymnastics then you are wasting your time. People don't seem to say that about the younger girls even though statistically they are less likely to be successful in the sport.