Parents In between levels- where to place?

[mommyof1]

If you like the new gym, think it's a good fit for her, and think it will prepare her for the future better, I'd move her even if she doesn't want to go. At 7 she is old enough to decide for herself whether she wants to pursue competitive gymnastics, but not to choose the gym.

If you worry that the new gym is too intense, I'd try another option.

I would not keep her in a gym that doesn't believe in her and is not progressing her quickly enough. My kid lost an entire year of progress because we didn't move her soon enough and still resents it.

 

[amiandjim]

What she said! Exactly!

 

[thefellowsmom]

I agree. At this age, if she has decided she wants to pursue competitive gymnastics then it is your job to find a gym that will be the best fit for her. Sounds like current gym may not be the best option so time to look at your options. You have confirmation from a competitive gym that she has the stuff, so is that your only competitive option? Are their other gyms in your area that have strong programs as well to compare to.

At this age probably not a huge deal to be in a big elite gym unless they have indicated they might track her that way sooner rather than later. But, what is really important at this level to maximize her potential and open up the most possibilities for her will to be to find a program that teaches good basics, technique, shapes and progressions.

This could be the new gym you tried or if you really feel she won't like it that intense and it might drive her out before she ever gets all those benefits then maybe an in between option? If those are your two options then you need to figure that out what you think is best and try to predict what she might want from the sport down the road and go with the best fit.

Just on a side note, she may have found the new class boring because there was more conditioning, shaping etc and less skill work. At this level most high caliber programs will be focusing more on strength, flexibility, basics, shaping and drill than flips and tricks. Not that they don't learn those too, but the focus can be quite different and from what I have observed is one of the major differentiating factors between good programs and great programs.

This foundation will contribute to the future of her gymnastics and should seriously be considered. But, a really serious program isn't for every kid or even most kids. You really have to follow your gut on these things and focus on her and not was you want for her. Good luck!

 

[Lilou]

This is exactly where my head it at! Thank you all for your advice. Sometimes it takes asking others to see how to balance a 7 year old's desires versus what the parent thinks is in her best interest.
There are other gyms in my area I can check out but they are much further away. There is one that is closer but I'm not sure it will be any better than our current gym. I suppose I don't really know until I call them and have her evaluated there.

I'm also thinking that she thought the new class was boring because there was a lot of conditioning, forming, etc.... They did some Level 3 skills and she did fine with them overall, but yes, conditioning a lot which I think is why she found it boring and tiring. But it's good for her and I can see the huge value in it. I don't think she's getting this as much as her current gym. At 7 she doesn't see the value in it yet. And yes, that's the intensity that I don't want to drive her out of the sport entirely when she's just getting her feet wet.

I agree. At this age, if she has decided she wants to pursue competitive gymnastics then it is your job to find a gym that will be the best fit for her. Sounds like current gym may not be the best option so time to look at your options. You have confirmation from a competitive gym that she has the stuff, so is that your only competitive option? Are their other gyms in your area that have strong programs as well to compare to.

At this age probably not a huge deal to be in a big elite gym unless they have indicated they might track her that way sooner rather than later. But, what is really important at this level to maximize her potential and open up the most possibilities for her will to be to find a program that teaches good basics, technique, shapes and progressions.

This could be the new gym you tried or if you really feel she won't like it that intense and it might drive her out before she ever gets all those benefits then maybe an in between option? If those are your two options then you need to figure that out what you think is best and try to predict what she might want from the sport down the road and go with the best fit.

Just on a side note, she may have found the new class boring because there was more conditioning, shaping etc and less skill work. At this level most high caliber programs will be focusing more on strength, flexibility, basics, shaping and drill than flips and tricks. Not that they don't learn those too, but the focus can be quite different and from what I have observed is one of the major differentiating factors between good programs and great programs.

This foundation will contribute to the future of her gymnastics and should seriously be considered. But, a really serious program isn't for every kid or even most kids. You really have to follow your gut on these things and focus on her and not was you want for her. Good luck!

 

[John]

Two cents.

DD just moved gyms. Old gym IGC and DD did big tricks and learned skills rapidly with no focus on refinement and almost zero conditioning.

New gym offers lots of up training and concentrates on refinement. Many hands on form corrections.

DD has grown to like the conditioning and in her own words, or possibly those of the new coaches, says she needs the strength and conditioning to achieve her goal of one day being a level 10.

My DD is ten so she has had more exposure to the gym, but after trying the new gym for two days she said she knew that this gym was teaching better gymnastics.

I guess my point is don't focus on levels but try to focus on meeting the short term and long term goals of your DD. Don't let friends or gym mates stop you both from making the right or best decisions for your family.

Long term friends in gymnastics appear to be far and few between. Every year girls come and go your DD must do gymnastics for her love of it, not for a particular friend or group.

Lastly, I made DD pick a new gym, She has dreams that she wants to meet. She is ten and I am the parent. I could not live with myself if in 5 years she said to me dad why did you leave me in that gym? Why did we waste my love and talent? I could have been more.

No regrets. Try to be Greater today than yesterday.

 

[CLgym]

My DD changed gyms a little more than a year ago. She was 7 years old at the time as well, and went from Xcel Bronze (old gym had tracked her Xcel, which was the reason I was looking elsewhere) to JO Level 4. Although my DD had repeatedly expressed an interest in competing JO, she initially did not want to leave her old gym. She didn't want to leave her friends, and "fun" Xcel coaches. Even after trying out at the new gym and receiving a Level 4 offer, she was extremely reluctant to go. And I didn't want to force her. So instead I tried to persuade her! Finally she asked if she could go back to the new gym and "try it for a week." I asked new gym, and they were happy to accommodate. By the end of the trial week she was feeling more comfortable with the new gym, and felt more ready to make the jump. Now, about a year later, she is preparing for Level 6 and completely happy with the new gym... which is, of course, not new anymore. She has made tons of friends, loves her coaches, and is progressing.

Maybe you could ask the gym you are considering if your DD could do some kind of trial period. In my personal experience, when kids are young, it is often about getting comfortable in a new setting and having time to sit with an idea for awhile. While I agree with others that you should be the ultimate decision maker, you also want your DD to feel OK with the decision. In our case, we spent a lot of time talking and processing the gym change... and I'm glad my DD ultimately left on her own accord (even if I was pushing a little behind the scenes!)

Good luck. And keep us posted.

 

[txgymfan]

I agree, it sounds like a change is needed. It's often the adults that need to pull the trigger. If you do agree to let her tell her if she complains or says she does not want to go you will put her in a rec class. Bookworm said it best once when her girls complained. This sport is too big of a commitment ( financial, time, driving, etc. ) for the entire family to do with complaints.

I know she is only 7 but she is old enough to understand sacrifice.

 

[Lilou]

Great idea! I'll inquire with the new gym about a week trial so we can see how my daughter handles it and holds up.
She did tonight ask me for ankle weights so she could add that to her conditioning as the new gym does... we talked about the importance of the conditioning and forming to help her to the L3 skills, and beyond when it's time.
By the way, Congrats to your daughter! She's really blossomed it sounds like.

My DD changed gyms a little more than a year ago. She was 7 years old at the time as well, and went from Xcel Bronze (old gym had tracked her Xcel, which was the reason I was looking elsewhere) to JO Level 4. Although my DD had repeatedly expressed an interest in competing JO, she initially did not want to leave her old gym. She didn't want to leave her friends, and "fun" Xcel coaches. Even after trying out at the new gym and receiving a Level 4 offer, she was extremely reluctant to go. And I didn't want to force her. So instead I tried to persuade her! Finally she asked if she could go back to the new gym and "try it for a week." I asked new gym, and they were happy to accommodate. By the end of the trial week she was feeling more comfortable with the new gym, and felt more ready to make the jump. Now, about a year later, she is preparing for Level 6 and completely happy with the new gym... which is, of course, not new anymore. She has made tons of friends, loves her coaches, and is progressing.

Maybe you could ask the gym you are considering if your DD could do some kind of trial period. In my personal experience, when kids are young, it is often about getting comfortable in a new setting and having time to sit with an idea for awhile. While I agree with others that you should be the ultimate decision maker, you also want your DD to feel OK with the decision. In our case, we spent a lot of time talking and processing the gym change... and I'm glad my DD ultimately left on her own accord (even if I was pushing a little behind the scenes!)

Good luck. And keep us posted.

 

[Sasha]

First, congrats on taking the step to have her evaluated! It's an extremely relieving experience to have another quality person/program acknowledge your gut feelings that your daughter is ready for opportunities beyond what another program is offering. BEEN THERE. FEELS GREAT!

So my 2 cents on what to do now...

In my opinion, throughout your story, it is very clear that you have justifiable 'doubts' (pretty strong ones) about your current gym's ability to 1) see your daughter's strengths and believe in her potential and 2) place and train her properly to achieve her goals and potential. This tells me that even if you resigned to let your daughter choose to stay, your negative feelings about the program would still be the same, and you would simply continue to have doubts, which would fester and grow every time you observed her in class experiencing the same lack of progress, attention, or opportunities that brought you to ask for help here on CB in the first place. Trust me, that is going to eat you up, and that is not a great way to nurture a supportive relationship with your athlete as you find yourself annoyed, frustrated, and doubting her gym experience.

You need to move on. Whether to this new gym, or trying another, I think if you want your daughter to have a shot at a fulfilling JO experience, that you need to do better for her and see where it goes. If she ultimately hates the conditioning and attention to detail at any point, she will have multiple options for Xcel or other programs.

But you won't know if you don't give her the opportunity to go where she is valued and challenged.

P.S. When my daughter was trying out, she ended up in the gym we originally didn't think would be a good choice. Turns out it is perfect and she is doing amazing. What some 'other people said' about the gym was actually not true at all. You really can't tell until you try. So that other gym might be worth a try out, too.

Good luck!

 

[Lilou]

Thank you Sasha. I know you've followed my concerns on this thread. Yes! Getting other feedback is great. Our current gym was so good for her last year and she was learning and just happy. This may be why it's harder now too for us because it's like the rug was pulled out a bit in terms of how they had been working with my daughter and their attitude about her. I totally agree and it's a great point you make that we both need a place that will challenge her and give her a fulfilling JO experience to keep progressing. And then yes, I can see if this is really for her or Xcel or something else. But I need to give her a place with coaches who believe in her more, and see where that leads us.

Glad to hear you found a gym that really works well for your daughter. That's a great feeling.

First, congrats on taking the step to have her evaluated! It's an extremely relieving experience to have another quality person/program acknowledge your gut feelings that your daughter is ready for opportunities beyond what another program is offering. BEEN THERE. FEELS GREAT!

So my 2 cents on what to do now...

In my opinion, throughout your story, it is very clear that you have justifiable 'doubts' (pretty strong ones) about your current gym's ability to 1) see your daughter's strengths and believe in her potential and 2) place and train her properly to achieve her goals and potential. This tells me that even if you resigned to let your daughter choose to stay, your negative feelings about the program would still be the same, and you would simply continue to have doubts, which would fester and grow every time you observed her in class experiencing the same lack of progress, attention, or opportunities that brought you to ask for help here on CB in the first place. Trust me, that is going to eat you up, and that is not a great way to nurture a supportive relationship with your athlete as you find yourself annoyed, frustrated, and doubting her gym experience.

You need to move on. Whether to this new gym, or trying another, I think if you want your daughter to have a shot at a fulfilling JO experience, that you need to do better for her and see where it goes. If she ultimately hates the conditioning and attention to detail at any point, she will have multiple options for Xcel or other programs.

But you won't know if you don't give her the opportunity to go where she is valued and challenged.

P.S. When my daughter was trying out, she ended up in the gym we originally didn't think would be a good choice. Turns out it is perfect and she is doing amazing. What some 'other people said' about the gym was actually not true at all. You really can't tell until you try. So that other gym might be worth a try out, too.

Good luck!

 

[triplethreat+1]

Has the new coach for level 2 at your current gym started yet? What do you think of him, and do you feel he will be long-term, unlike the previous ones? And has there been any further discussion on moving up? I understand your worries that she is being left behind, but if the other girls progressed rapidly with new coaches then your DD should be able to as well. 6 weeks isn't so long, compared to the full year...
I know you are not happy with how level 2 is being coached, but you do like the level 3/4 coaches, correct?
Personally I am happy with a 'middle of the road' gym, my girls are 'middle of the road' gymnasts and my older DD at least would probably lose her fire if she was in a very intensive program.
Definitely a tough decision!

 

[Lilou]

The new level 2 coach came and put in his two weeks already. He's leaving. Now they are filling in with another high school coach. They are not fostering my daughter's development to get to level 3 in the coming weeks from what I can tell. They are only doing basics and a couple of level 2 skills. No vault in 8 weeks. There are three girls who are on the cusp and they are all frustrated from what I've learned.
I do like the level 3/4 coaches and I like the gym overall. I don't really want to move gyms st all. But I also know they are not doing right by my child. They say they'll uptrain to try to see if she can get to 3 but that's not actually happening in her class at all. I do worry about an intense gym too.

Has the new coach for level 2 at your current gym started yet? What do you think of him, and do you feel he will be long-term, unlike the previous ones? And has there been any further discussion on moving up? I understand your worries that she is being left behind, but if the other girls progressed rapidly with new coaches then your DD should be able to as well. 6 weeks isn't so long, compared to the full year...
I know you are not happy with how level 2 is being coached, but you do like the level 3/4 coaches, correct?
Personally I am happy with a 'middle of the road' gym, my girls are 'middle of the road' gymnasts and my older DD at least would probably lose her fire if she was in a very intensive program.
Definitely a tough decision!

 

[triplethreat+1]

The new level 2 coach came and put in his two weeks already. He's leaving. Now they are filling in with another high school coach. They are not fostering my daughter's development to get to level 3 in the coming weeks from what I can tell. They are only doing basics and a couple of level 2 skills. No vault in 8 weeks. There are three girls who are on the cusp and they are all frustrated from what I've learned.
I do like the level 3/4 coaches and I like the gym overall. I don't really want to move gyms st all. But I also know they are not doing right by my child. They say they'll uptrain to try to see if she can get to 3 but that's not actually happening in her class at all. I do worry about an intense gym too.

Argh, that must be so frustrating! To know that if only she was in the next level this could be the right gym for her...
Instead it looks like a possibly fruitless year ahead...
I know you said level three is quite competitive where you are- is that to get into the group at your gym or to compete in your area? Would the coaches, and your DD, possibly consider her training with the level threes but holding off competing until the coaches think she is ready?
Feeling for both you and your DD...

 

[duyetanh]

UPDATE: My daughter was evaluated at another gym, a highly competitive one, and they recommended that she be placed in their Level 3 team. This just shows me that a gym that produces Elite gymnasts and consistently wins at meets accepted my daughter on their Level 3 team and our current middle of the road, but very friendly and not high stress gym, is making her repeat Level 2. My daughter said the competitive gym class she tried was boring
(i think she means tiring though) and one girl wasn't nice to her, so she'd rather stay at the current gym but she still is hoping she can do L3. I told her it's most likely either L2 at the current gym or L3 at the new gym. She said she doesn't want to leave her friends and she'll do L2 again. Mind you, she's 7... so how do you balance letting your child make the decision versus what you think is the right decision for her? She complains that she's bored and distracted and not having fun at the current gym because of the L2 class. Some days it's a fight to get her there because she wants to do L3 skills. So maybe she would just need to adjust to a new class and gym at L3 and then be ok... or not and giving her an easy year so she can stay with friends is ok. I'm a bit worried the new gym could be too intense for her too, but you don't really know until you get rolling in it I think. I'm a bit torn but favoring taking her to the new gym. What would you do?

I would pack her bags....
ETA: I can't believe you haven't already left. How many more level 2 coaches does your kid need this season? UGH.
Good luck to her and you. It's not an easy sport to navigate, but once you switch, you will kick yourself for not switching sooner....

 

[EGPtriumph]

I think your gut is probably right that her current gym is not the best fit and you may well waste another year in level 2. Most likely she will not want to move gyms due to the fear of the unknown and leaving friends. I went through the same thing with my daughter. We left a gym that wouldn't give her the opportunity for team and she has made great progress in our new gym in just 4 months. They do a lot of conditioning and drills for form and yes it was an adjustment from rec classes but she has risen to the challenge and keeps pushing on! I say get the heck outta dodge and find a better fit. It's out there! Good luck to you and your daughter.

 

[Seeker]

You have to get her out of there. Lack of
Coaching consistency, direction, support, etc -- all the things you've mentioned add up to "you need a better gym". Hopefully she can trial at the other
Gym and will feel comfortable by the end of the week.

 

[amiandjim]

There must be some sort of fundamental, behind the scenes issue at your current gym to have that much coaching turnover...that is NOT normal!

 

[FutureGirls]

First and foremost you need to trust your coaches or your daughter won't. You need to believe in how they are handling or your daughter won't. Really kids are incredibly intuitive when it comes to what us parents think.

So if you don't trust the process or the coaches its time to move.

I would also have a conversation with the coaches, express your preference and listen to their whys................ Then you either trust them or you don't.

Absolutely, no sense in staying ever if you don't trust the coaches.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

So the thing that sticks out to me throughout this conversation is that you say the L3 and L4 coaches/gymnasts are good at this (current) gym. What I cannot figure out is how they GET a good L3 team if they aren't adequately coaching them in L2. Are the L3/4 coaches picking kids just based on potential from the L2 team? If the L2's aren't being trained properly with an eye on higher level progressions and skills, where is the training coming in? HOW are the L3's getting good, only after moving up? We don't do L2 at all but instead have a preteam/developmental group. It is the job of those coaches to make the basics, form, strength and skill progressions good enough for L3.
Playing devils advocate for a moment (bear with me)... is it possible there is something, anything, else that could be the culprit? Is your DD focused and working hard during practice? Does she actively try to use corrections etc? Has she been dealing with fears or blocks that may make them think it would be in her best interest to take things slower?
It is positive that another gym would put her on their L3 team, it shows she at least has the potential to get there. However, I would truly think about if there are any other circumstances that could come into play that your "mom goggles" may be missing...
If there isn't anything at all, I would seriously consider moving gyms. I would go over everything with a fine tooth comb before though because you keep saying the other coaches are great and I would hate for a kid to miss out on what would be a great gym for her simply because a parent feels she is inappropriately placed in levels...
Do realize that I am speaking from a coaches standpoint here. I have seen girls leave our program for that very reason, go to our main competition because they were promised the level they wanted (which they were not getting at our gym, for various reasons) and those gymnasts (without a single exception!!) have ended up either repeating that level (thus ending up in the same exact spot they would have been with us a year later) or failing altogether. Not saying that is the only outcome, obviously there are many success stories, but that has been my personal experience with our gym over the past 5yrs being involved with team. Generally, if we are holding a kid back, there is a really good reason and it has proven to be correct with every single one of the kids who moved.
The opposite could happen, if the coaches at her current gym aren't as good as you believe and they are for whatever reason "skipping over" her and not seeing her true potential, then absolutely you need to move gyms and go where her coaches will be more invested in her.
A larger gym may have less "invested" in each kid and allow more kids on their team to begin with, with the idea of coaching to the top and letting the bottoms repeat.
I know this post is all over the place, I am just trying to allow you to really take an objective look at it. It is really easy as a parent to just jump on to the "well if she isn't moved up here you need to change gyms!" bandwagon, nobody really wants to say that hey, maybe there IS a reason she is being held back. Us coaches do not WANT to hold a kid back. What we DO want (most of us anyways!) is to place a kid where she is going to have personal success and fit in, so that she enjoys gymnastics and keep progressing at a steady rate without being too overwhelmed or frustrated. Maybe for your kid, that is L3, maybe it isn't at this point.
Best of luck, it is such a hard thing to make these decisions for our kids sometimes!!

 

[John]

What is your DD's goal for gymnastics? If she has big dreams and the desire to go far then I hate to say it intensity is what she needs. Some one on the chalk bucket gave advice on moving gyms that I took to heart.

It went find the best gym as soon as possible one that matches your goals. This will save you from making a move and leaving friends later in a gymnastics career. Late moves are very hard.

Seems like it's time to try something else. Going in to old gym everyday and expecting change is the definitiion of insanity. I drank the kool-aid once and stayed too long.