Parents Is it bad form to leave a gym during Preteam? Also Xcel Bronze vs. Preteam?

[SophiaPD]

My daughter who turns 7 this month is in a JO Preteam class (6 hours a week) that she loves. She started in June after a year in an advanced preschool class at the same gym. She is happy there, and if she progressed as expected, would switch to Level 3 in May and compete next August. It is a good gym and I think the training is solid. It is only 10-15 minutes away.

However, (1) as a family of five with two working parents, and given her other interests, I think Xcel is the better fit than JO in the long term, and current gym offers JO only with hours that escalate quickly and (2) we are having trouble finding a class that is a good fit for our 11-year-old daughter that works with our schedule (she is currently in an advanced rec class four hours a week, but it overlaps her sister's practice; this means we could not eat dinner as a family and I would be feeding her separately twice a week, as well as driving back and forth from the gym four times those days).

There is a gym that is further away, and with bad traffic up to 50 minutes to drive (15 with no traffic), that offers Xcel Bronze two 2.5-hour days a week. I think maybe both sisters could do that. There is no way I could get each sister to a different gym given my job, my son, and my other responsibilities.

My questions are:

I see a lot of posts about gyms being upset when you switch. Current gym knows we are struggling with finding a class for older daughter and that she may drop or switch gyms (with 30 days notice). I haven't mentioned that younger sister might follow. If we're just in a Preteam CLASS and not on team yet, do the same concerns about moving apply?

In your opinion, would younger daughter be missing out on foundational training by leaving JO Preteam for Xcel Bronze? Is it better to wait a year (or two) if older daughter can tough it out? I can see younger daughter doing Level 3, which is 12 hours over the summer and 9 during the year, but any higher than that and I think we fold.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

 

[raenndrops]

If you would "fold" after Level 3, it is better to switch now. That way, she will not have to waste time learning "useless" skills like a mill circle.

 

[jillc]

If you would "fold" after Level 3, it is better to switch now. That way, she will not have to waste time learning "useless" skills like a mill circle.

I agree, but not only for useless skills. After a year on JO (level 3), my DD would have a a hard time “giving up” JO to go to a lower hour / less intense Xcel program.

I think if she would have started there she would have known nothing else and loved it — and I often wonder if that would have been a better choice for her long term.

But she loves it, loves her teammates, has built up trust in her coaches, and would rather have more hours, not less. It would be very difficult for me to decide to move her now.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Your kids, your family. You do what works for you. You are a paying customer.

 

[M2Abi]

If you wouldn't go beyond JO Level 3 anyway, I think Xcel would be a better fit.

 

[3rd_time_around]

I wanted to comment on the not eating dinner together thing. If you have a gymnast, you will most likely not eat dinner together a couple nights a week or more as she progresses. If the practices overlap, how about staying there and having her do her homework and eat while she is waiting for her sister? Also, if you really think you won't go past 9 hours of training a week, I'd either do the year of Xcel or maybe find another activity. I love gymnastics and I think anyone that wants to do it should, but it is definitely time-consuming and a committment. Even after 16 years and 3 gymnasts, I sometimes grow weary of the time constraints and the hectic evenings. But we all love it and I will let my daughter stay with it as long as she wants to and we can still afford it. (that is just my disclaimer). It's hard to give you exact advice about what to do, because its really about what you are willing to commit to and your personal preferences. There are ways around the class overlap and driving times, it just takes some creativity and willingness to be flexible sometimes with dinner and bedtime schedules. We usually eat supper at 8:00 due to gymnastics.

 

[SophiaPD]

Thank you for the advice. I can see putting in the hours if she were an only child, or if all three children had schedules that were similar -- but balance in the family is more important than gymnastics and I can see the tween in particular feeling jilted if our world revolved around our youngest. Xcel seems a better fit for that based on what I am reading. I think both girls could do that.

And bringing dinner for the younger daughter is a good idea that I hadn't considered. Older has practice 6:00-8:00 and younger is 4:15-7:15. I had assumed we would all have dinner at 7:30, but maybe we could do 5:00 and bring dinner. Not sure my husband can get home that early, though.

 

[wallflower]

I’d much rather be at a gym that has an inconvenient schedule, 10-15 minutes from my house vs a gym that is up to 50 minutes away. Schedules change all the time so maybe next year things would line up better. Going to gym twice a week is going to add almost 4 hours to your schedule, not to mention you are then stuck at the gym for 2.5 hours.

Your post doesn’t make sense to me because it sounds like you want lower commitment and driving that far is a big commitment.

 

[Seeker]

I agree with the above — adding that commute will likely make the change a wash time wise. Also consider, if they’re not doing gymnastics (at either gym), what would they be doing? Activities take time and the hectic evenings with 3 kids aren’t going to get a whole lot easier if your kids are active.

Would it be possible for her to carpool one way one day week (or more)? That can help quite a bit and might work well as she gets older.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Having a competitive gymnast, even at the lowest levels will mean that so,e nights you won’t be able to have dinner together as a family. But as your kids get older you will find lots of things will start to impact this - Dance class, swimming class, soccer training, etc etc. Kids will wa t to spend more time at friends houses, at sleepovers, having out and so on. As your kids get older very few families will eat together every single night.

As your kids get older, if eating together as a family every night trumps their ability to participate in the things they really want to do, you may find the kids even start to resent family dinners. Making sure it can happen a few times a week will work better with older kids.

The new gym might not be a bad choice if you are driving 15 minutes (OP did say it is 15 mins in good traffic and 50 in bad traffic). But you would need to check it out, at the times you would be driving it.

Please be aware that any gymnastics team is a big commitment and the hours often increase, there is often a lot of travel when it comes to competition time.

Also how would your kids really feel about being in the same team/Level. I assume your younger DD is more talented for gymnastics, since she is in Pre team, but your older daughter has not been considered. It’s a real possibility that younger DD will learn new skills faster, place higher in competitions and move up to a higher level faster. How will this affect the family dynamic?

 

[SophiaPD]

Thanks for the helpful advice. Skills do come more easily to my younger daughter, but I wonder how much of that is that she happened to start in a competitive gym and my older daughter started (and spent four years) at an only-recreational gym. Right now the older daughter is ahead of the younger on skills, but younger is getting 50% more gym time, and older girls aren't on preteam there. It makes me uncomfortable that younger daughter seems better-served by our current gym than our older one. I also think you're right about the drive -- that could make things worse and not better. It's mostly just unpredictable traffic. On good days, it should be under 20 minutes at the times we need it -- but Google Maps says 18-50 depending on traffic.

 

[RTT2]

Does your current gym have Xcel?

 

[SophiaPD]

No, current gym is very good but JO only, and their rec offerings for older girls is limited. They have great and ample recreational and pre-competitive programing for kids 2-8, but almost nothing for tweens who aren't on team.

 

[reluctant]

I wanted to comment on the not eating dinner together thing. If you have a gymnast, you will most likely not eat dinner together a couple nights a week or more as she progresses. If the practices overlap, how about staying there and having her do her homework and eat while she is waiting for her sister? Also, if you really think you won't go past 9 hours of training a week, I'd either do the year of Xcel or maybe find another activity. I love gymnastics and I think anyone that wants to do it should, but it is definitely time-consuming and a committment. Even after 16 years and 3 gymnasts, I sometimes grow weary of the time constraints and the hectic evenings. But we all love it and I will let my daughter stay with it as long as she wants to and we can still afford it. (that is just my disclaimer). It's hard to give you exact advice about what to do, because its really about what you are willing to commit to and your personal preferences. There are ways around the class overlap and driving times, it just takes some creativity and willingness to be flexible sometimes with dinner and bedtime schedules. We usually eat supper at 8:00 due to gymnastics.

I have two optionals, and we eat dinner together as a family every night at 9:30 pm. It sounds nuts to other families, but it is important to my kids to eat a hot meal sitting at the table. I think it makes them feel normal.

 

[Gymsy4]

I think if the plan is for her to end up in Excel anyway I would go ahead and switch over. I personally don't see an advantage to staying in JO temporarily if she doesn't intend to stay there for the long term. As far as the gym goes, you have to do what's best for your family. Don't worry about what they gym thinks or whether or not they will be upset if you leave. In my experience it can go either way, but I've never regretted a move. Good luck in whatever you decide!