Parents Level 3 - beam fear

[Loverofalldogs]

Hi , so I’m looking to vent but also looking for advice from veteran gym moms !
My daughter is 8yo - level 3 . She’s always had a certain level of fear on beam but has always worked through it . Last year she
competed for the first time and scored ok on beam, always 9.1-9.4 .
Recently her coach came to me ( 10 days before her first comp of season ) and told me she cannot get her to do a full - vertical - handstand or the proper dismount & that because of this she is not going to allow her to compete on beam . She was doing the dismount earlier in the season but she also had a fall a few weeks ago . For the handstand she is basically doing a kick up halfway currently .
I asked her what she thought I should do and she offered no advice . She said she is a sweet but tender child and she doesn’t want her to score so low and hurt her feelings . I had a talk with my daughter after to tell her she wouldn’t be doing beam ect . And also just like where do we go from here . She says she loves gymnastics - doesn’t want to quit , wants to persevere! I just feel like her coach is annoyed with her . If she falls - hurts she does cry and the coach has also made comments about that … I just feel very disheartened for her .

 

[Coach Kate]

I know at our gym we also have the kids scratch an event that they aren't able to do yet, so that part of it seems normal to me. We try to give them as much time as possible to get it and then if it looks like they won't be competing it at a meet, we do a heads up to their parent. We do always say that a gymnast has to do their trouble skill at every practice the week of a meet in order to compete it.

It sounds to be like the coach is mostly just giving her space to work on it. This might be a situation where private lessons could help her build confidence. I am not quick to suggest privates, but it does sound like this would be a time to consider it.

 

[Dahlialover]

This is totally normal and okay. No big deal! Make sure she understands that it’s not a big deal. She will get it when she gets it. Don’t talk about it a bunch or pester her for updates on her progress. Let it be. It’ll pass.

 

[JBS]

Recently her coach came to me ( 10 days before her first comp of season ) and told me she cannot get her to do a full - vertical - handstand or the proper dismount & that because of this she is not going to allow her to compete on beam .

I am a coach and a parent. My wife (also coach) and I have scratched one of our daughters many times on beam. It's normal.

Just tell her to work at practice and get the skills so she can compete beam.

 

[Tmacs]

I agree. Scratching an event is normal- daughter had to scratch floor a few times due to a mental block. Most of her teammates have too on one event or another.

 

[Kara]

I had the opposite happen; I had a horrible block on my BHS on beam (compulsory Level 7 in the 90s) and my coaches made me compete without it; it was really embarrassing to score a 5. 30 years later I still wish they had let me scratch the event. Sometimes a little extra time without the pressure of competing is all that is needed to get the skill.

 

[Loverofalldogs]

I had the opposite happen; I had a horrible block on my BHS on beam (compulsory Level 7 in the 90s) and my coaches made me compete without it; it was really embarrassing to score a 5. 30 years later I still wish they had let me scratch the event. Sometimes a little extra time without the pressure of competing is all that is needed to get the skill.

Glad I posted this - this is the feedback I needed to hear . Thank you !

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I'm not a big fan of privates, but if the coach is seemingly frustrated with your daughter I would request one on the basis of her fear and needing to build confidence.
It sounds like she is scared and needs to go backward a few progressions and build back up - this is not always easy to accommodate during regular proactive when everyone is working in competition mode.

 

[Loverofalldogs]

I'm not a big fan of privates, but if the coach is seemingly frustrated with your daughter I would request one on the basis of her fear and needing to build confidence.
It sounds like she is scared and needs to go backward a few progressions and build back up - this is not always easy to accommodate during regular proactive when everyone is working in competition mode.

Everyone who is doing well at our gym does privates , so it seems privates are necessary if you want to have all your skills .

 

[GymnastMomX2]

Everyone who is doing well at our gym does privates , so it seems privates are necessary if you want to have all your skills .

This would be a red flag to me, you shouldn’t need privates to progress. If you do, something is wrong with their training program.

 

[Loverofalldogs]

It stinks . Out of 20 girls on our level 3 team only 5 have their RO BH . Maybe another 3 who have it consistently with a spotter . The only girls who have it are those who did privates consistently for 6+ m . But unfortunately there are no other JO gyms nearby . Next closest ( good gym ) is over an hr away .

 

[JBS]

Out of 20 girls on our level 3 team only 5 have their RO BH .

When were team invites (when did they start team)? Did they do Level 2 or some sort of pre-team? How many hours per week do they train?

 

[Dahlialover]

I think a stand-alone conversation about private lessons would be interesting.

 

[Loverofalldogs]

When were team invites (when did they start team)? Did they do Level 2 or some sort of pre-team? How many hours per week do they train?

My daughter and 7 others competed level 2 last year . 11 came from our pre team - skipped level 2 and went to level 3 to join our girls . Some train 12 hrs a week ( homeschool ) public school girls train 9 hrs , my daughter is hybrid and does 10.5 hrs .
Started training for level 3 in the spring . Preteam had begun learning RO BH last year though and team girls didn’t start learning until summer .

 

[Loverofalldogs]

I think a stand-alone conversation about private lessons would be interesting.

I now have her in 2 privates . It was hard to even get those as the coaches are booked tight with privates .

 

[Loverofalldogs]

Just to give an update - my daughter is an extremely optimistic child . She loves gymnastics , is no where near “ the best “ but is never deterred. I don’t know that “ the best “ is even an idea in her mind . She had her first comp of season - scratched beam - did well in all other events aside from floor ( which our whole gym scored pretty low ) and left happy knowing that she can improve , but overall happy with her performance . Her goal is to hopefully compete beam next comp .

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

This would be a red flag to me, you shouldn’t need privates to progress. If you do, something is wrong with their training program.

Agreed - but in this situation with limited gym options and a kid who loves it - you play the gyms game and keep your child happy - if you can afford it.

 

[katrid11]

It stinks . Out of 20 girls on our level 3 team only 5 have their RO BH . Maybe another 3 who have it consistently with a spotter . The only girls who have it are those who did privates consistently for 6+ m . But unfortunately there are no other JO gyms nearby . Next closest ( good gym ) is over an hr away .

Wow. It sounds like their pre-team is missing the mark on preparing the girls which unfortunately translates to privates (aka more cost for the parents).

With no other gyms near by you do play the game best that you can afford. It sucks but it is what it is.

Sending some happy beam vibes for your daughter. Hope she can compete it next meet and feel accomplished regardless of the score.