Parents Making a financial decision about whether to continue

[LadyJ]

DD just finished her freshman year as a first year level 9. She will be repeating level 9 next year. I'm not a delusional parent so I know she will not be getting a gymnastics scholarship. We're doing ok financially, we pay the $600 monthly tuition without struggle. But we don't have much saved for college, only ~$25k, which apparently is about 1 year.

I'm comtemplating telling her that next year will be her final year of gymnastics, and put the $15k we would have spent over her junior and senior years directly into her college fund. She is a good student, finished the year with above 4.0, but again I'm not delusional, so I know academic scholarships are also hard to get, and she won't qualify for grants based on our income.

I feel like this is the best financial decision, but she is very much not ready to be done with the sport. My other option is to lay this all out to her and let her choose. She's pretty mature for her age...but that age is not yet 15 (summer birthday) so I'm not sure if she'll see the whole picture. The third option is to keep the status quo and worry about how to pay for the remainder of college when it gets here. Maybe she'll get a scholarship (gymnastics or academic), maybe I'll get a promotion, maybe she'll be miserable without gymnastics which has been an integral part of her life for the past 9 years.

Any thoughts, advice, or options I may not have considered are welcome.

 

[mezzamare]

Is she passionate about wanting to compete in college? If not, perhaps a change to XCEL could keep her at the gym but save some money?

For scholarships.... for the 2024 year, I found that 6 percent of the athletes with two years of L10 experience received scholarships. That number jumps to 23 percent for girls with three years of experience. So the numbers are small, but not nonexistent. Of course, it depends upon what skills your daughter is competing and how she's scoring.

Could always do a gap year after HS to get in another year of L10 and take the moon shot for a scholarship, but that might not be realistic for a family, for a whole host of reasons.

There's also the possibility of completing her basic education at a community college, then transferring to a UC (assuming she wants to stay in-state). I know a number of people who did this, and it does save a substantial amount of money, while still conferring the benefits of a UC degree.

Just a few (possibly ridiculous) thoughts.

ETA: It's definitely time to sit her down and talk reality with her, though. Let her know what resources she can expect to draw upon for school, and what different choices could mean for her future and her long-term non-gymnastics goals.

 

[cmg]

I always felt that gymnastics kept my daughter away from typical teenage issues like partying too much, hanging out with friends that perhaps don't have the best intentions or positive interests, etc. There are a lot of reasons to do gymnastics besides the college scholarship, however your daughter could potentially get on a D3 team if her desire is to continue her gymnastics career in college. D3's don't have athletic scholarships, but they do have academic scholarships. My daughter was able to get on a D3 team and she did get a generous academic scholarship. D3's tend to be smaller schools which for my daughter is a good fit. Certainly, talk to you daughter first, but I wouldn't make her decide a financial decision. That to me is a lot of pressure for a teen. If she does want to continue with gymnastics than I would explain that she will need to apply for a lot of academic scholarships and possibly take out loans to go to college. There are lots of ways to pay for college. I know gymnastics is expensive, so I understand your dilemma, but perhaps look at other ways to pay for college. Perhaps she could get a summer job and start a college fund to help pay for some of the costs.

 

[gymgal]

Telling her she cannot complete her career, with just 2 years left would be a big NO for me. It would be different if your financial or family situation had changed suddenly and you no longer had the discretionary funds for gymnastics. But clearly you knew this would be an issue long before now. I have always been a proponent of "don't let them fall in love with {whatever sport/art} if you are not prepared to let them see it through to their fullest". As parents, it is our responsibility to figure out the financial part and by letting her continue gymnastics all these years, you gave her the go-ahead to reach for her dreams. You can't pull that away from her with just 2 years left.

as for paying for college - private scholarships, work programs, being realistic about the college she attends, cash flowing it year to year with payment programs - you already have the first year paid for and you will have the excess funds from her gymnastics once she is in college. College loans as well (we chose against this route but for some, it is the only option) or second mortgages, etc. There are lots of ways. Sometimes you just have to get creative. There is a book called Debt Free Degree, and others like it that would be good resources.

 

[LadyJ]

Is she passionate about wanting to compete in college? If not, perhaps a change to XCEL could keep her at the gym but save some money?

No, she's not that passionate about college gym. She'd do it if she could, but it's not her dream. I had not considered Xcel. I'll look into the cost difference, could be an option, as could community college.

I always felt that gymnastics kept my daughter away from typical teenage issues

Gym is basically all she ever does, which I don't necessarily think is a good thing. I obviously don't want her out partying all night, but I do think she needs to foster other social activities. Xcel could work here, freeing up some of her time.

you will have the excess funds from her gymnastics once she is in college.

This has always been my plan, but now that I'm looking at the actual costs, that is not going to go nearly as far as I thought it would. That's my fault, I just didn't realize the cost would be almost triple what I paid 20 years ago.

 

[MuggleMom]

I always felt that gymnastics kept my daughter away from typical teenage issues like partying too much, hanging out with friends that perhaps don't have the best intentions or positive interests, etc.

I have always felt this way too. My kid's school friends are other athletes and they tend to have much healthier attitudes about doing well in school, staying out of trouble, and staying away from dumb stuff like vaping etc. For that alone I am fine keeping her in gym. If she is forced to quit before shes ready and upset that combined with spare time could be a dangerous combo.

Also I would worry quitting could be looked at by colleges similar to a resume gap as in why did you quit sophomore year? Activities and extra curriculars are important in the admission process.

For costs etc, I am going to push my kids to apply for every little scholarship under the sun. Getting a full ride anywhere is hard but there are lots of little things you can go for that add up. Also I will just roll any "sport" money into college money when the time comes. I don't think its the end of the world if you have some college debt I think what you need to do is find loans that aren't predatory, and minimize what you are taking out money for. I knew kids that would take out the max for school and take minimal classes and use money for rent etc. they ended up with no degree working as a bartender and tons of debt with bad interest rates.

 

[Coach Kate]

Just chiming in as someone who did gymnastics through most of high school (ended up focusing on track my senior year) and ended up with college debt. I helped pay for gymnastics. I never didn't have some kind of job from the time I was 10 years old. Paper route, babysitting, then coaching and waitressing at a cafe my mom ran - that waitressing job paid for my Mac before my freshman year of college.

I also got academic scholarships and took on college debt. My parents simply did not have the money to pay for college and I knew what I was doing when I went to a private school instead of the more affordable public one. It took a little time, but I eventually paid it off and was debt free until last week when my husband and I finalized our mortgage terms for our first house.

I think it is ok to have discussions with her about money and priorities and please do teach her the basics of personal finance. But I never assumed my parents were paying for my college and everything has worked out just fine. I don't regret any of it, although my husband really wishes I would have been more interested in dating earlier than I was, but that's another story.

 

[mommyof1]

My daughter retired at L6 and much less than $600/month in tuition, but everything we were spending on gymnastics is now going to her new pursuits. I don't think it's realistic to assume that you will save much by forcing her to retire, unless you are going to disallow all other activities that aren't free through the school.

 

[JBS]

I would keep paying for gymnastics and let her try to get some academic scholarship money / grant money... then take out a loan for the rest.

 

[gym_dad32608]

I agree with the general sentiment. Continue with gymnastics, at this point, the 15k that you are referring to is only a marginal improvement. Unfortunately for this sport, the time to walk away from a financial standpoint is around age 7 lol. There are many avenues to pay for college and many stories of how folks have accomplished it as already stated. Either way, she is going to have to fill in the gap in some way to complete college from a $$ standpoint. Like everyone says, talk with her, make sure she has good financial priorities, but I suspect you already do.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

I'd let her continue if she wants to, but I definitely understand why you are asking. I've questioned the expense too, knowing that a scholarship seems unlikely and it really is so time consuming and limiting to her social life/school life. I would definitely NOT want to give my daughter the impression that if she isn't good enough for a scholarship, that she shouldn't be allowed to continue. But it's hard to look at the money we are paying and just how much of a commitment it is and not question the logic of it. She could participate in school clubs and sports, have dinners at home, not limit our summer travel, hang out with friends, etc if she wasn't doing gymnastics. But I've always told her that I would 100% support her as long as she wants to do it, and she still wants to do it, so I'll continue to suck it up and pay.

Oh, and I have 2 in college already, so I totally get the $$ part. It's a lot!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I wouldn’t make a freshman quit If I could still pay.

I would sit down though and have some serious conversations. Possibly have her cut her hours to Xcel and do other things. Take a serious look at D3 schools. And what her expectations of a college experience are.

My daughter will be a senior next year. She will finish gym a L8 with some 9 skills or an Xcel Diamond. We are currently changing gyms. She very much wants to do club gymnastics and possibly lacrosse in college. And she has to have a more than vague idea of what she might like to do. If she is unclear and doesn’t find a place she feels is “it”. She can get her core classes at CC or take a year off and work, or even mosey her way to a degree with working and school. My stepson decided college wasn’t his thing. He got lots of IT certification, works full time in IT. Now at 30 has decided what he wants to be when he grows up. He supports himself, debt free and has a 401k.

She is stuck with older parents. We are simply not going to let her take on huge debt for college. And we can’t put our retirement on the line. So it’s a state school (which we can afford) or a private school if they can make a package/aid/scholarship work and get her at or less than state tuition. No one necessarily “needs” a high priced school.

 

[LadyJ]

I expected people here to suggest letting her finish out high school, just based on the audience. I expect if I were to ask the same question to non-sports families, the response would be the opposite: why are you "wasting" money on gymnastics, her education is much more important. I've never looked at gym as an investment, I just want her to be able to do what she loves for as long as she can. I just got a rude awakening when looking at the cost of college. As pointed out here, there are tons of options and possibilities. Next step is a conversation with her. Thanks everyone, for your input.

 

[gymgal]

I expected people here to suggest letting her finish out high school, just based on the audience. I expect if I were to ask the same question to non-sports families, the response would be the opposite: why are you "wasting" money on gymnastics, her education is much more important.

This would have been the response from many here if she were at the beginning of her gymnastics career, including me. Don't let them go down this road(any expensive sport) unless you're willing/able to see it through to it's natural end. But given she literally is has 2 years left from when your want her to retire...

Also, 4 year degrees are not the end all, be all. Lots of careers can begin through the military, trade schools and on the job training, with higher education occurring later, if needed. 55% of people who attend college never graduate and the ones who did often could have found their career through other means.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

This would have been the response from many here if she were at the beginning of her gymnastics career, including me. Don't let them go down this road(any expensive sport) unless you're willing/able to see it through to it's natural end. But given she literally is has 2 years left from when your want her to retire...

Also, 4 year degrees are not the end all, be all. Lots of careers can begin through the military, trade schools and on the job training, with higher education occurring later, if needed. 55% of people who attend college never graduate and the ones who did often could have found their career through other means.

This.

And I’m someone whose daughter never planned on an athletic ride to college. She has gotten so much from gymnastics beyond just doing flippy things.

If it was about the money. I would have pulled her way back before middle school. And we would have likely spent that money elsewhere.

Basically what I’m paying per year for gymnastics will just be paid to whatever college she attends. Community college would be completely covered. Most of the tuition would be covered at a state university.

Our yearly costs pretty much went from day care to gymnastics and will head on over to college.

 

[MuggleMom]

I expect if I were to ask the same question to non-sports families, the response would be the opposite: why are you "wasting" money on gymnastics, her education is much more important.

That may be true that "non sport" families question the $$ spent on sports, but you could ask them how much they are spending on music lessons, tutors, college prep, private school, and what have you. I feel like most parents have some sort of money pit aspect for their kids that they are feeding $$$ into in the hopes that it pays off in some way in the future. The reality is all parents have different ideas of what success looks like for their kids and how to best get them there.

I think its a great question to be asking yourself and a great (ongoing) conversation to be having with your kid whatever answer you end up at. I think as a whole we need to do better jobs of teaching our kids to be critical thinkers at a young age and getting her involved in the conversation will help with that.

 

[Bella7]

DD just finished her freshman year as a first year level 9. She will be repeating level 9 next year. I'm not a delusional parent so I know she will not be getting a gymnastics scholarship. We're doing ok financially, we pay the $600 monthly tuition without struggle. But we don't have much saved for college, only ~$25k, which apparently is about 1 year.

I'm comtemplating telling her that next year will be her final year of gymnastics, and put the $15k we would have spent over her junior and senior years directly into her college fund. She is a good student, finished the year with above 4.0, but again I'm not delusional, so I know academic scholarships are also hard to get, and she won't qualify for grants based on our income.

I feel like this is the best financial decision, but she is very much not ready to be done with the sport. My other option is to lay this all out to her and let her choose. She's pretty mature for her age...but that age is not yet 15 (summer birthday) so I'm not sure if she'll see the whole picture. The third option is to keep the status quo and worry about how to pay for the remainder of college when it gets here. Maybe she'll get a scholarship (gymnastics or academic), maybe I'll get a promotion, maybe she'll be miserable without gymnastics which has been an integral part of her life for the past 9 years.

Any thoughts, advice, or options I may not have considered are welcome.

My daughter is just graduating High School as a Level 9. She was sadly injured for a season and missed the recruitment selection but we are still hoping for try outs at college, because she has the necessary skills.

I would say that the focus and determination that is provided by gymnastics has been instrumental in my daughter’s educational excellence and the life lessons of being part of a team, coach discipline when necessary and general respect for coaches and team mates has made my daughter a very well rounded individual.

Teenage years are difficult and it was great to have an outlet for any of the anxiety she was experiencing at school. It also gave her a purpose. At no point did she regret the sacrifice of not always being available to be with other friends because as she said she had her gymnastics family.

I would think very seriously about taking your daughter out of gymnastics. It’s been an amazing journey for us on some many levels.

 

[Carly]

If you daughter really is not considering doing gymnastics in college, then I would look into the Xcel program and check out the costs and hours. If it can save you money and give your daughter more time to spend on academics, she could possibly get larger academic scholarships. She could consider colleges with club teams if she wants to continue the sport. As others have suggested, she could also do 2 years at a community college before transferring. I would definitely have a discussion with her about this.

My daughter is a hs senior this year so we've just been through the college process. Many colleges have cost calculators on the website, so you can enter gpa and/or sat/act scores to get approximate costs for tuition.

 

[mommyof1]

Another thing to consider is that colleges say they are looking for a high level of dedication to an extracurricular activity. DP gymnastics certainly demonstrates that, especially if she is doing well at the state level, qualifying to regionals, etc. My daughter switched activities halfway through high school and has not had the chance to build up an impressive resume in the new activities before college applications are due early in her senior year, and I worry that this will hurt her competitiveness.

 

[GymDad00]

How do you feel about her current gym? Do they have a track record of level 10s getting college scholarships? Is there a lot of injuries, questionable coaching ect? Level 9 is a rare accomplishment in the athletic world. I would talk with her about it and see how she feels. Then around her JR year highschool if her gymnastics stalls out or she is performing poorly as a level 10 and you are at a gym that can’t develop 10s with consistency…. Look at getting coached up on another sport that uses her gymnastic skill set. I’ve read a lot of “quirky” sports give full rides to level 9 and 10 gymnasts. Sports like rowing, pole vault, diving, acro-tumbling…. If you really are focused on the scholarship money and she wants to try something new to keep active in college… she should have other scholarship money options utilizing her level 9/10 gymnastic skills. That’s the backup plan for our current level 7 gymnast if she hits a wall in the gymnastic world.