Parents Making the decision to try for elite....

[bogwoppit]

Which sport does she love more?? Some times kids just want to be kids and do sports, sometimes parents see the way to "success" and want to micromanage it. I would not focus on one sport more than the other merely at a chance for high level competition. But I am going to assume that is not the case here as I do not feel that is your style. Can she continue to do both sports just like she is now? Seems sad to give up gym for the other sport, unless the other sport is one that gymnastics contradicts in some way.

 

[Flossyduck]

That's really tough. What a shame your gym are being inflexible and wont accommodate her training fewer hours. She seems to do a lot (I think you said it was going up to 18 shortly?) for grades. Do they really not have anyone on fewer hours than that? Your dd deserves to have a crack at her new sport, as she is obviously doing so well, but if she still has a passion for gymnastics it seems crazy to have to give that up completely. I think she needs to be involved in the decision on whether she goes for it with her other sport and she needs to know it involves giving up gym or moving somewhere else. If it were my daughter and she chose the new sport I'd expect she would still want to do gym and would it'd be on the basis that we find somewhere with lower commitment. There must be other places who would be happy to take on a girl with her work ethic and ability level? Who knows what the future will bring. I told dd when she moved gym last year- just give it a good try and if you really hate it, you can always go back. At 9 years old, this isn't a decision which can't be undone and thinking too far into the future is the road to madness - one step at a time

 

[Faith]

Which sport does she love more?? Some times kids just want to be kids and do sports, sometimes parents see the way to "success" and want to micromanage it. I would not focus on one sport more than the other merely at a chance for high level competition. But I am going to assume that is not the case here as I do not feel that is your style. Can she continue to do both sports just like she is now? Seems sad to give up gym for the other sport, unless the other sport is one that gymnastics contradicts in some way.

She says she loves both. She knows she is "better" at the other sport and has a chance of going really far, and has to work hard for every skill in gymnastics. She has said eventually she would like to focus on the other sport as likelihood is she will reach higher levels.

The reality is she can't do both with these gym hours. The other sport would allow her to keep her hours low and re-assess next year, but she isn't going to be able to keep up, and there's a chance others may have overtaken her by next year.

The gym is basically saying they want her doing about 20 hours a week soon. This is club level only, and they expect high attendance or they don't allow them to compete. She won't have time off to compete in the other sport. There is no way she can train that amount, plus school, and add anything else in other than a fun class of something once a week. There are no groups train lower hours for her level. It seems a lot of sacrifice and commitment, and, to be honest, stress and hassle for me.

If she wants to keep on doing both, we'll have to find another gym anyway that does under 15 hours a week. I think unless DD1 or a coach tells me that the aspirations are elite, that is enough hours for a 9 year old to be working regional level. I'm not saying that the only point of doing sport is to make elite (we don't have college), but I do think that very high hours aren't always a good thing for club level kids-they should be allowed to have more of a life balance.

 

[Jenny]

Gosh I so agree. 20 hours is a lot - I would expect elite grades at that amount of hours for a 9 year old but I remember your club doesn't do grades. At the very least I would be expecting competing all over the country in invitationals and even abroad. If she is only stuck in her region on 20 hours a week I would say no. Not necessary.

Will she get the chance to compete out of region for her other sport in the next year? What age do they have national squad? That would seem like a great goal to aim for.

I am sure there is another gym club that can offer your child 2 or 3 times a week and keep her progressing and competing.

 

[iwannacoach]

I almost feel you're going through painful withdrawal from the easy life of just watching your child have fun in both sports.

Considering that your child seems to like both equally, but wants to "go far" in one, or the other, I'd say the "other" sport is the logical choice. Just to make sure your dear daughter is being truthful about enjoying both equally..... ask her to share her daydreams with you. You can figure the sport that produces the "sweetest" daydreams is the one that she has the most passion for, and will be the best long term choice.

Dreams mean a lot.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Which sport does she love more?? Some times kids just want to be kids and do sports, sometimes parents see the way to "success" and want to micromanage it. I would not focus on one sport more than the other merely at a chance for high level competition. But I am going to assume that is not the case here as I do not feel that is your style. Can she continue to do both sports just like she is now? Seems sad to give up gym for the other sport, unless the other sport is one that gymnastics contradicts in some way.

yes, good point Bog. diving would be a bad idea along with gymnastics due to head versus feet landings. hockey just might be okay because of the similarity of "crashing" in to the mats and equipment. i dunno...

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

yes, good point Bog. diving would be a bad idea along with gymnastics due to head versus feet landings. hockey just might be okay because of the similarity of "crashing" in to the mats and equipment. i dunno...

Your second dig at hockey in one thread dunno! You better watch out for us crazy Canucks, especially since we are set to invade the US with more gymnasts competing at your meets.

 

[wallinbl]

i dunno...

Yes, you are....

 

[my4buffaloes]

I have a child that loves a challenge. Once he gets good at a sport his interests fades because it is no longer a challenge. Ok, I know it can still be a challenge, but he choses not to make it one once he reaches a certain level of competency. He does not have the drive for perfection. So anyway, my point is that if she loves gymnastics because it is challenging, but finds the other sport easy, will she have the drive to succeed in the other sport once things get hard? I don't know that you can know ahead of time how it will pan out, but it is something to think about.

 

[Jenny]

yes, good point Bog. diving would be a bad idea along with gymnastics due to head versus feet landings. hockey just might be okay because of the similarity of "crashing" in to the mats and equipment. i dunno...

That is interesting Dunno. There is a top diving club near me and a fair number of the girls and boys dive as well as do gymnastics up to about the age of 11. Up to about 20 hours of gym while also diving. Then the hours for diving are racked up and they seem to leave gymnastics and concentrate on diving instead.

I always thought the 2 sports complimented each other but I had never considered the landings issue!

 

[Faith]

I almost feel you're going through painful withdrawal from the easy life of just watching your child have fun in both sports.

Nail. Head.

Well the discussion with DD went much easier than I thought. I explained what gym had said, and that if she wanted to continue there everything else would have to stop. Her first thought was that she would miss her friends, which said a lot to me. She can't understand why they would ask her to give up her chance at the olympics, if they aren't offering that goal themselves (!). She also said she doesn't feel ready for an increase in hours in the gym...

She suprisingly came out with a lot of positives- sundays off, being able to go visit family a bit more, go on holiday, see school friends.

Funnily enough as we came out of training yesterday we saw a friend from her other sport who has just started gymnastics- there's a club on site and there's a bit of crossover, they seem to send the kids there for extra conditioning and flexibility training and they work together a little. So she's agreed to try out next week. I think she should also try out at another club locally, just to see all her options. The added benefit is I can ask for DD2 to try out for team too and she can go there while DD trains.

So all that remains is to tell the gym. I don't know whether to make a clean break and just e-mail that she's not coming back in....Honestly I'm quite upset at the way we've been treated, we've been very committed and must have one of the best attendance records, and there are others who have been allowed to take time off or have breaks.

Will she get the chance to compete out of region for her other sport in the next year? What age do they have national squad? That would seem like a great goal to aim for.
.

She already has competed nationally and done extremely well. This is what started this off- they want to prepare her for trials for the 2014/15 national squad, so asked for an extra couple of hours a week.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I would let her go for one last session when you have something else sorted, just to say goodbye - and move onto better and bigger things - plus if club she is still gyming at another and so is her sister you can still come here to play

 

[Flossyduck]

Your daughter sounds as though she has a very good head on her shoulders and you sound like the kind of parent she will need to be as successful as she wants to be. I would take her for one more session - take some Haribo, say good bye and thank you. Yes they've made this difficult, but you never know who you will bump into in the future, so no point ruffling feathers. Then walk out with your heads held high. But please keep sneaking back here for your gym fix and to let us know how she is getting on

 

[bogwoppit]

I feel for you both Faith, I can tell this is not easy at all. Considering how well she has done in the other sport I guess she will just have to choose. It bites, but life is like that.

 

[Jenny]

Well I think you know what to do now. Hard to do but it will be right in the end. There must be another gym club that would suit. Keep looking until you find it. A little gym will help her other sport I am sure. We have had kids drop gym for their other sport only to find it is the gym conditioning that made them stand out in the first place.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

"other sport" how about a hint,,, sounds like???

 

[SignHere]

I second (third) the vote of a last training session for DD to say good - bye to the coaches and her friends. My DD hd a friend change gyms recently, and her mother sent the HC an email. DD was terribly hurt her friend never came to say "goodbye!"

 

[BlairBob]

Hmm, interesting. I still think it might be a good thing to do a bit of gymnastics on the side. I do know that many of the Sports School systems phase out gymnastics pretty much by this age, give or take a few years if it's not their sport.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Hmm, interesting. I still think it might be a good thing to do a bit of gymnastics on the side. I do know that many of the Sports School systems phase out gymnastics pretty much by this age, give or take a few years if it's not their sport.

Over here is on the national curriculum at primary level (4-11) , but only 6 weeks of the year and its very basic (shapes, jumps and balances).

 

[Faith]

Well I think you know what to do now. Hard to do but it will be right in the end. There must be another gym club that would suit. Keep looking until you find it. A little gym will help her other sport I am sure. We have had kids drop gym for their other sport only to find it is the gym conditioning that made them stand out in the first place.

This is my worry. Her gym club is very hot on conditioning- I think the hours are mainly high because they train everyone TOPS style, with I'd say at least 30% of the time spent on basics, conditioning and flexibility. All of them have press handstands. I must remember she was picked out for the other sport while she was still on pre-team, training once a week, and before she even had a good handstand.

Well we've found another gym that maxes out at 12 hours. Probably more like your YMCA style. I'm not sure what skill level they go to but they have some older kids a level above DD, and I think they take day trips to a couple of the really big HPC centres occasionally. We'll give it a try, and see how she goes.

Logically the other sport is the right decision, but you know how gymnastics sucks you in! She seems fine with it so far, so maybe it's more me