Meeting with parents

[KipGirl91]

I have been struggling with one of the classes I coach - They don't listen, I am constantly having to repeat what I say, They don't respect what I say as authority and there is also a lot of pushing, hyper-ness and butting in line. I have started invoking the '3 strike & you're out' rule (After 3 strikes, they get sent to the office), and I've had girls get to 2 strikes, which my supervisor was concerned about. I have some girls who are actually halfway good and WANT to learn, but the class has to be constantly stopped for me to address the two-three girls who are causing trouble. It is a rec class of girls ages 6+ (youngest is just turned 6, oldest is 11).

I talked with our supervisor afterward and we'll be talking with the girls before class as well as the parents after class. We'd really like the parents support and assistance, because I'm just getting fed up with these kids. I'm just wondering what other coaches have said in situations like this, or what would you as parents like the coach to say? Or should I let my supervisor do most of the talking? They need to know what's going on, as they apparently have wrong assumptions about my coaching and don't seem to notice the girls' behavior at all.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

throw them out! we can't save the world!! it's gymnastics!!!

reason: if things are as bad as you say...no embellishing....then at some point a precedent needs to be set. and be sure that those that remain UNDERSTAND that the pack has been thinned due to unruly and disruptive behaviour that detracts from the task at hand and poses a safety issue for all the children involved. be clear, concise, act swiftly, and no turning back.

i am speaking from experience. you will never have a competitive program worth joining because it will be made up of those kids that you will NEVER save. anarchy at it's best. pay now or pay later. for the good of the rest of those kids whose parents will pull their children out when chaos reigns.

 

[gymnut1]

Firstly my heart goes out to you. This is a hard one and can be soul destroying. You are really in 'teacher territory' here. A wide age range of rec level gymnasts. 11 is old enough to bring some attitude and 6 year old often have the concentration span of a gnat. To control this class you need to stop thinking like a coach of performance gymnasts and start thinking like a regular teacher ie 'crowd control' is your first and biggest issue. So you need support from your supervisor and some ideas from them how to handle it. How your club wants it to be is really important - you need to follow the 'club line' on discipline.

But as both a coach and a regular teacher things that might help are;

The length of time they CAN sit and listen will be limited. So you need to talk less (but make it concise and clear) and keep them more busy. This will also help with the hyperness and pushiness.

Set some clear rules for waiting in line/ listening. Print them on card - show them and refer to them often. Things like - when we wait our turn we keep our hands and feet to ourselves. When we sit and listen to coach we look at her to show we are listening. 3 or 4 for each is enough. Get a child to hold the rules card up and read each one - point out the children doing the one you have read out. Try and catch the 'iffy' children doing something right so you can praise them too.

Have some mini activities printed out on card. When they get abit restless invite someone behaving well to come and pick a card 'Im looking for someone behaving well to come and pick an activity card' Believe me they will fall for it. Then everyone can do the mini activity printed on the card. I would suggest things like 20 star jumps, 30 seconds of tuck jumps etc. Anything which they can already do without you supporting, all together in a small ish area anywhere in the gym, things to shake out abit of that restless energy.

I would follow this by freeze and melt. You say freeze and they all freeze (usually in really wacky shapes) you say melt and they melt to the floor and sit up smart. Now you have them focused, awake and interested. It is really important you now tell them how great they did that.

If you are allowed to give stickers for good effort and behaviour they work a treat.
I know it isn't easy. Dont give up. Look for the behaviour you want and praise it. Keep them moving and give a positive vibe. Good luck

 

[Linsul]

Dunno and Gymnut have excellent advice. I think you and your supervisor are on the right track getting the parents involved. That's such a wide age range to work with, I really feel your pain. The kids probably do find it hard to relate to each other with such a spread of maturity levels. Maybe try 2 kids per (spread out!) station, keeping them with an age appropriate partner? That way there is a clear boundary for where they belong, and if they wander and get caught they will know why they are being corrected. I'd try a circle that you can stay in the middle of, where you can see everything even when spotting. My only other advice to add is some things to keep in mind when you talk to the parents.

Let them know that fun is really important, but that gymnastics is also an instructional environment. Trying new things, getting new skills, talking to their friends, all fun! The fun is born from an interest in the sport though, and that can't be practiced consistently or safely if the kids decide when to listen; or are focused on acting out to the point where they could get hurt. Not just themselves, but their classmates as well. This indirectly addresses their wallet and reminds them the value in what they are paying for aside from fun. They should expect quality instruction from a specialized sports program, otherwise they would be at the park letting their kids wear themselves out.

Be real with them about the potential physical risks to being unruly and not listening. Consider all the random yet common injuries like rolling an ankle, or stubbing your toe hard walking and being fully aware of yourself. Now imagine a kid on a beam being asked to simply walk...with their head turned around to see what's going on, or trying to jump because they didn't listen, or poke the kid on the beam next to them. Let them know that bars and vault are even more problematic for unruly kids because of the increased speed and height involved. If they can't conduct themselves safely, they will miss out on trying new things (sad face here, very important lol) because no new skill is worth an injured child.

I would bring up specific incidents and occurences that cause your concern. I would NOT name names if you are addressing the parents as a group. Just what happened, and why it was a drawback to the class. No parent wants to hear that their kid is 'bad' in a group. If any ask in private about their child though, be honest but polite. Or pull them aside if you need to get specific about their child's antics. Lay out the disciplinary policy, 3 strikes, time out or whatever you decide to do. Tell them where the time out spot is so they know where their child is at all times. I would NOT make time out a 'sit with the parents' thing. Some kids see that as a break and act out just to chat with mom and dad. If you want to involve them, have your supervisor or the office staff walk the child out to them for a brief word before returning them to class (if possible). Make them aware of one or two things that will get them automatically sent home. Also what has potential for removal from the program. Aim for a matter of fact tone, not a threatening one.

Sorry for the book, I always end up writing a wall of text ><

 

[KipGirl91]

Thank you all SO much! This looks really helpful, and I am going to put it into practice tonight. Here's hoping it goes well, I've now got an added handicap of getting over a nasty case of Laryngitis! I'll update when I get home tonight and let you know how it went.

 

[KipGirl91]

Thanks for your help everyone! I had a CIT helping me out and that was good, as well as my supervisor had a word with the girls before class. Most of them were pretty well behaved, though I did send one girl out. Big improvement from last week!