Parents New Gym, struggling with Coach Communication

[duyetanh]

Derek, where are you? Any updates?

 

[e'smum]

Generally speaking, I don't like it when the kids don't talk to me but ask their parents to get involved and send me tons of e-mails and text messages about every little thing. Sometimes I have to roll my eyes when I read those messages from 13 year old gymnasts' parents asking me things the kids could easily ask me at practice. It irritates me how the parents don't seem to even try to teach their (pre-teen or teen) kids to speak to themselves.

my 10 yo is FINALLY getting to where she will actually go in and say something to her coach. yesterday i told her to make sure to tell her coach she wouldn't be at practice today and she said she would. (i almost fainted). this is the 2nd time now (the 1st time was when she had to leave 1/2 hour early). i'm so excited she has made this step. before i had to go in. i would much prefer her have an open line of communication with her coaches. her coaches are great and very approachable. good golly, she acts like they will bite her head off if she tells them something or says she's having issues with a skill. i'm hoping this first step will lead to her being able to communicate more with them.

 

[Annikins]

To be fair, I think parents generally do try to encourage their child to speak to their coach directly as they know the coach doesn't really want the parent involved, but sometimes something needs to be communicated and the child flatly refuses to do the job. So, we just keep encouraging and building confidence until hopefully eventually the child will feel brave enough to do it themselves...not ideal, but what else to do??

 

[trampolinemom]

When DS was younger and hesistant to talk to his coach because he found it difficult to find an apropriate moment. I sometimes send coach a text message that DS wanted to talk about something so that coach knew and if DS showed hesistancy, he could create a moment. This did work out well.

 

[tucktwisttumble]

in regards to athletes being able to communicate with their coaches...

Lets keep in mind that these are KIDS. Yes, gymnastics expects these kids to mature in ways far quicker then their peers, BUT THEY'RE KIDS. Try to remember what it was like to have a conversation with an adult at 7 years old, 10 years old, 13, 17, 20 years old. The degree in which you are able to communicate matures and develops with the kid.
So yes - gymnasts should be able to speak with their coaches, but parents/coaches/trusted adults have to help facilitate these conversations and environments. It is unfair to expect a young girl to be equip and confident to hold a serious-confrontational discussion with an adult, HECK most adults have a hard time with this.

IMHO coach did not handle this appropriately - I agree with previous posters, I see red flag!

 

[TumbleTimes4]

I have a major problem with any adult telling a child to not talk to their parents when they are upset. No adult should encourage a child to keep things from their parent. It’s a red flag for me.

I understand and support encouraging the child learning how to communicate with their coaches and learning independence. But they sometimes need guidance and help with how to do this. A coach needs to remember that these are children and there are so many ways that he could have handled that in a more respectful manner.

 

[BachFlyer]

I have a major problem with any adult telling a child to not talk to their parents when they are upset. No adult should encourage a child to keep things from their parent. It’s a red flag for me.

Non-negotiable for me, as well.

 

[VanessaJV]

I have re read the post several times and I had a little different take on it than some. I didn’t see the coach as saying don’t talk to your parents. I would never be okay with that. I read it just as it was written, “don’t run to mommy and daddy to ask him questions.”

My DDs coach really does not like it when the girls do not speak for themselves. It doesn’t mean my DD cant talk to me. But often times we talk and then discuss how she can approach her coach. If she doesnt feel as if she can completely do it on her own, I will go with her for the conversation. But my daughter has to speak. I am there for support and possibly clarification since she is only 10 and doesnt always make a clear point.

It is possible the coaches intention was to tell your daughter and her teammates that they are strong young women with voices and he wants to communicate with them and he hopes for them to “own their gymnastics.” This is what my DDs coach would say. However, the coaches intention and delivery may not have matched up so well.