Parents New gym-very excited

[hannahsmom]

I think we may have found the right gym for dd. She went to do a practice with the new gym on Monday and had a great time. She's nervous about leaving her current friends (we wouldn't leave until June), but she's excited. I spent about 30-40 minutes talking to the owner/director today and came off the phone call very happy. I am really impressed with the philosophy there and I think it will be a great place for dd. I think we're going to go watch a meet that they are in to see how the coaches are in meets and then make the decision. It will be about a 45 minute drive but thanks to all the great tips a lot of you gave in my previous post, I think we can make it work.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

Great! I am happy that it was a positive experience. Just to let you know, I drive my daughter 45 minutes once a week just for dance. I couln't find a program closer that was a good fit. She is so happy there. If your dd loves it, you will find it well worth it.

 

[bookworm]

Why wait til June? Once she competes States, I would move then....

 

[emandelsmom]

awesome!!! I am so happy for you all.

 

[mariposa]

Glad you found a gym you think will work for your daughter! Be careful who you tell about it and talk to you daughter about that, too. News like that travels quickly and it can get ugly, you may find yourself moving much quicker than you think.

 

[NOG]

Glad you found a gym you think will work for your daughter! Be careful who you tell about it and talk to you daughter about that, too. News like that travels quickly and it can get ugly, you may find yourself moving much quicker than you think.

I totally agree with Mariposa. We just had this happen with 2 girls at our gym. One was ready to move on (wasn't happy for whatever reasons - won't get into that). They have never been at another gym, so didn't know how sticky things could get. They let the owner know that they would be switching in June, and after trying to find a solution to make gymmie happy/and stay, the gymmie was asked to go ahead and move immediately. From the owners standpoint, they don't want an unhappy gymmie hanging out in their gym and dragging the spirits down of the rest of the team (negativity is very contagious and spreads like wildfire).
The other instance was - a gym family was ratted on by someone (not sure if the other gym that they were looking at did it or a family who didn't realize the what the fall out would be did it), but anyway, when the owner confronted them about the possibility of their leaving us and the family said that yes it's true, they were asked to leave also. The owner said "if you can't give us 100% than it would be best if you just went ahead and left now". Again - negativity spreads and if the gymmie is unhappy, she is spreading negativity and bad feelings around (sounds crazy, but I've seen it happen- especially in the upper levels like these girls were. Older girls have no problem telling everyone who will listen what is wrong with a place/coaches/equitment, and whether true or not, it will set everyone around them into a fearful frenzy and spread).

So.....be very careful who you tell or might be reading this. And I agree, with the above, the sooner you can switch gyms, the better for both your gymmie and her current gym involved.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[sportzmomov3]

Once you decide to move, you need to leave. Even under the best of circumstances when you are leaving on good terms with your old gym, human nature creates rumor mills and other negative outcomes. Most people we have known left on the day they told their gym - it's just cleaner for everyone involved and somewhat limits the gossip and other talk. It also removes your DD from having to deal with any of the possible repurcussions.

 

[cathiann]

Good luck at the new gym--and I agree with everyone else--if you know you're moving, I think you should move sooner rather than later.

 

[gymmomof1]

Glad to hear you found a better match for your gymmie Hope she will blossom with her new gym and have fun with her new teammates!

 

[hannahsmom]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and advise. We have a lot of respect for the owners/HC of the gym we're at right now...it might not be the right place for our dd, but we have the utmost respect for their program and for them personally. We've had to agree to disagree, but I know in the long run, they really truly have the best intentions for the kids in their gym. Before we make any official decision or move, I plan to sit down and talk with them and make sure they understand why we're leaving. If they ask us to leave at that point, it will be their decision. I'm hoping it doesn't get to that because I want to teach my daughter to finish something and we made a promise to the gym to stay for the remainder of the year before we left, if we still felt we needed to. So, I'm planning to sit down with them in the next couple of weeks and see where everything stands. And, you're all completely right....if I notice any sort of difference in the way she's treated, we will leave. Our dd has already been through a lot with one of her coaches, but I won't let it get any more difficult.

So, again, thanks for all the thoughts. This is the reason I really do enjoy this forum..all the experience from those that have "been there, done that" is great. I never would have even considered that there could be an issue like this. Guess I was naive. I just figured they would continue to want their money, but I'll have to keep my eyes and ears open and just watch things.

 

[Blackie6]

Trust me, old gym knows you were probably sniffing around a new gym already. The gymnastics community is pretty small and owners/coaches pretty much know everyone, especially within a radius of their own gym. Also, coaching differences are noticable even after ONE practice session. When we changed gyms last year it was for financial reasons and we were up front with coach and went to tell her we tried another gym but she already knew. After just one short little try-out at another gym, my DD (and a couple of the teamates) had been "corrected" on her beam routine there and current coach noticed it right away when she did it at old gym practice. Even though you respect owner and coaches the fact that you went looking is enough to say you are unhappy with their gym and they probably will not like it. I wuld just by pass sit down and move right to new gym, you will all be happier in the long run.

 

[bookworm]

To echo what a lot of people here have said, I WOULD NOT inform your current gym that you are even considering a move and when you do decide to move , leave the gym and THEN send them an email...I went through this with my daughter 3 years ago after she had been in a gym that we loved for 7 years....the coaches had always told us that if they "felt like they couldn't coach her and keep up with the new skills she needed, they would let us know it was time to make a change"...well, after much discussion of the skills she needed and my slow realization that she was never going to get them there, we made the decision to move to a different gym and I made the mistake of telling them on a Tuesday that Friday would be her last day.....on that Tuesday, the coaches and the owner, told her to "go by yourself because you won't be here anymore after this week" "we'll be better off without you" (they said this to a kid!!) and similar nasty comments...when she came out for a bathroom break and told me what was happening, I told her to go get her stuff and we were gone. And 3 years later when her old coach sees us at meets (that she usually wins with the new skills she needed that they couldn't teach her) , he always has a nasty comment to make to her or me! I am friendly with many of the parents who are still there and a few of the coaches but the whole experience was truly eye opening.

My point is don't make it any harder than it needs to be and don't think that just because you respect their program that they are going to be cool with your decision to leave...if I had to do it all over, i would have left a year earlier (because that is when I began to have my doubts) because the issues of coaching were discussed and promises made to rectify it , but it never happened then ( and is still in the same situation since we left) . Unless you are leaving because of a relocation or job issue, keep your cards close to the vest.

 

[sportzmomov3]

I have to disagree with sending an email. For the very reason that the gymnastics community is very small, and you will inevitably run into your old gym sometime in the future, being respectful in your departure should be first and foremost and that means a face-to-face. Even if you tell them in person on the day you leave, that is certainly better than sending an email.

 

[bookworm]

I have to disagree with sending an email. For the very reason that the gymnastics community is very small, and you will inevitably run into your old gym sometime in the future, being respectful in your departure should be first and foremost and that means a face-to-face. Even if you tell them in person on the day you leave, that is certainly better than sending an email.

Sorry to disagree with you but after the way we were treated, email would still be the route for me. I made reference to some of the comments made by our old gym and those were just the ones I was able to put in print...there were several profanity laden comments made to my daughter(who was 12 at the time) , AFTER I HAD INFORMED THEM IN PERSON, so I would never risk that type of treatment again. We had been there 7 years and had had numerous discussions about the coaching and when you get right down to it, it's a business for them and it became a business decision for me but after seven years, you would have thought that the adults (coaches and owners of the gym) would have behaved like adults, but they didn't. We do run into the old gym and it's not an issue...as you say it's a small community so it's bound to happen.

 

[mariposa]

I have to disagree with sending an email. For the very reason that the gymnastics community is very small, and you will inevitably run into your old gym sometime in the future, being respectful in your departure should be first and foremost and that means a face-to-face. Even if you tell them in person on the day you leave, that is certainly better than sending an email.

I also disagree with this. I think it depends on the situation and the people involved.

I sent a letter. I wrote 2 separate letters, one to the owners and one to the coaches. I was short and to the point, not going into detail (as the owner already knew my issues with the gym), just some of the reasons and thanked them for everything they had done for DD, etc, but we felt she needed a different type of coaching system than they had. I didn't do it in person because emotions can often run high and I knew it would be very difficult. I still got a phone call from the owner and it was not fun at all, a lot of negative stuff said about the gym we were going to, etc. I kept my composure and stuck to the fact that I was just making the best decision I could based on what info I had at the time. We have fun into her old coaches and teammates and no hard feelings. We saw the owner and things went fine as well.

Also, many times in person, you end up getting bombarded with why you shouldn't leave and in a letter or email, you can sum up all your points and make sure it is known why you are leaving. I barely got a word in edge wise when I talked to the owner on the phone. Luckily I had said what I needed to say in the emails and the coaches had a separate one so they knew why as well.

Of course, everyone has to do what they feel is best for their situation.

 

[bookworm]

Mariposa- I totally agree with you about the in person thing getting out of hand...I never would have believed that the people who I had entrusted my child to for 7 years would turn on her like they did..it's one thing to rag on me as the parent but a completely different ballgame when you take it out on the child...it was MY decision to move her. And like you said , we had been over the ongoing issues for many months with no resolution. The gym basically told me that the only way they would have agreed to my decision to move her was if I had left the Region!!