@Deleted member 18037 | I agree with you that a coach who
needs to have children confide in them is an issue. However, it is mainly an issue for the coach, not the child or parent. Nobody should need validation from others to be happy and successful with their lives. And that's for
anything in life, not just coaching/teaching. Validation of one's life should come from within, as well as taking pride in the things one does.
However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a coach being open to their athletes and vice-versa, so long as they are not relying on it for self-validation. In fact, I consider it a very healthy aspect of the teacher/student relationship. I love hearing about my girls' days, things they do, have done, or will do, things they are excited about, what they've learned, where they went on vacation, funny stories that happened, etc. I am honored that my athletes feel connected enough with me to share these things. However, I do not ask this of them, and I certainly don't
need this attention to feel better about myself. It is a way to connect with the people under your care, and it can do wonders for levels of trust and respect, because it shows you care about them as a person, rather than just a gymnast.
Obviously, one of my biggest goals as a coach is to have my girls do well at gymnastics, and it is precisely this reason that I believe in an open athlete/coach relationship. Boy problems, parent issues, and bullies at school can all be
big contributing factors to poor performance in the gym. They cause stress and worry. Recently, one of my eight year old Silvers seemed a bit off at practice, like she was mentally preoccupied with something, so I told her to take a short drink break. As she was coming back I met her half way, got down on her level, and I asked her what was on her mind. She openly admitted that she was picked on at school that day by a girl she thought was her friend. I acknowledged that that must have been rough, but now she's at gymnastics and none of that matters now. I mentioned that this is her escape, and a place where she has fun and she has a chance to shine, not to mention that she is in the presence of all her friends. I then suggested she get back to the drills, she smiled, and bounced away to her station. She had a great rest of the practice, and it made my day.
Sometimes all it takes is to listen and show support. Nothing sketchy about that.