Anon Owner searching bags for cell phones

[Anonymous (f2ee)]

I am seeking guidance because I feel like I am perhaps overreacting but maybe not?

Our gym owner recently shared with the girls that she doesn't like cell phones. In a matter of weeks, it's gone from "phones rot your brains" to phones not being allowed out to film new skills or at breaks. Ok - I can deal with this as many times our coaches are the ones who will film new skills/text the videos to the parents. And I would rather my daughter use her short break to eat vs. scroll. I think most parents are okay with this.

However, earlier this week, she announced that phones were not allowed to be brought to practice at all. This is obviously not realistic - many girls come straight from school, have varying ride situations, etc. I told my daughter she needed to be sure to leave her phone in her bag from the minute she leaves the car. This so far, has been fine.

Yesterday, the owner announced the girls must put give their phones to the front desk and if they need to reach their parent, they can use the single phone at the gym. This is not okay with me. I do not believe there should be a "gatekeeper" for a child to reach out to their parent, especially when they are at the gym for as many hours as our girls are. Additionally, my kiddo is not going to go ask the 18-year old front desk guy if she can use the phone if she's feeling uncomfortable (for any reason). It just feels icky to me that my daughter is essentially prevented from reaching out to me if she needs me. Not to mention in a true emergency situation - the girls are supposed to line up and wait for their turn on the phone? Or wait until the front desk can sort out whose phone is whose? Nope.

Anyway, yesterday at practice the gym owner WENT THROUGH THE BACKPACKS of the team to see who still had phones while the girls were warming up. The girls cannot see the team lounge from the main part of the gym so this was done without their knowledge. She kicked every girl out of practice who had a phone she could find. There were a few girls whose phones she did not find.

Is this out of line? I feel like this is such a red flag. I am so upset.

 

[Anonymous (feab)]

You are not over reacting. I can see confiscating it if they are using it during practice but giving it to the front desk or searching their bags is ridiculous.

 

[Anonymous (d745)]

Yea that’s literally insane. I’d be having a meeting asap to discuss. Going through the bags would almost be enough for me to pull my daughter.

Our gym used to collect all the girls phones into a box/basket at the beginning of practice, but the basket was in the gym and honestly accessible for the girls to grab their phones back if needed. Our coaches have since chilled out about phone usage, and allow them to use them for filming etc.

 

[Anonymous (1217)]

You are not overeacting. Going through a gymnasts bag is inappropriate and crosses many many boundaries.

 

[Anonymous (0212)]

You are not overreacting. This is a red flag. It is completely inappropriate for the gym owner to be going through personal belongings, unless there is a safety concern for the gymnast.

 

[Anonymous (3440)]

I'd be leaving that gym YESTERDAY, and filing theft charges against the owner. (probably wouldn't be able to do that...but i'm just sayin'. You're going into my bag without my permission and taking something that doesn't belong to you. Isn't that theft?)

 

[Anonymous (f2ee)]

OP here, and thanks all for making me feel better. I am incredibly uncomfortable with the entire situation and am not sure what to do. My daughter enjoys her teammates and coaches and the owner isn't her coach but dang - this gives me considerable pause about her/the gym. She's been controlling in the past but nothing like this.

 

[Anonymous (3440)]

This sounds like an owner on a power trip tbh.

 

[Anonymous (2d1f)]

Searching the girls' bags is completely out of line and would concern me.

 

[Anonymous (3d9e)]

My DD's gym had two major incidents with phones and had to implement a phone bucket where they stored their phones until practice was done. They eventually relaxed on that stance (mostly due to the offenders leaving the gym) but at our gym the parents supported the decision due to the incidents with the phones.

I wouldn't be OK with searching bags but was OK with all gymnasts not using the phones during practice and volunteering to keep them in the bucket.

 

[Anonymous (7caa)]

This is insane to the point that you should seriously consider the possibility that the owner is having a mental health episode. The obsession with phones sounds like it may be a sign of paranoia. I would tread lightly as you might be dealing with a genuinely unstable person. I think you should start watching practice and sit near the gym gossips to try to figure out if this is typically inappropriate behavior by the owner or if this is unusual behavior. I would not be the first or the loudest voice protesting this action. You want your watch how this shakes out.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Oof, yeah, massive overstep.

Raise hell about it, or leave. Either's reasonable imo.

(Being the snarky troll I am, I'd probably hide a note in the athlete's bag giving the coach a piece of your mind, but that's just me)

 

[Anonymous (2e3b)]

Yeah, looking though bags is definitely crossing the line.

We are just told to keep phones in bags unless we are filming or there is an emergency. But are bags are next to the office and we are told to keep them on sound in case of a phone call

I think you should consider talking about this to other coaches or leaving the gym.

 

[Coach Kate]

OP here, and thanks all for making me feel better. I am incredibly uncomfortable with the entire situation and am not sure what to do. My daughter enjoys her teammates and coaches and the owner isn't her coach but dang - this gives me considerable pause about her/the gym. She's been controlling in the past but nothing like this.

Is there another coach who is close to the owner that you would feel comfortable talking to? Maybe gently trying to figure out if there was something that has triggered this extreme opinion about cell phones? I agree that there has to be something else going on.

It is absolutely inappropriate to be searching bags so that boundary needs to be drawn. Something as simple as "Daughter will not use her phone during practice unless it is an emergency, but she will be keeping it in her bag and you do not have permission to go through her things. if you do not agree to these terms, we do not feel safe in this environment and will be leaving".

 

[Gymdancemm11]

I am seeking guidance because I feel like I am perhaps overreacting but maybe not?

Our gym owner recently shared with the girls that she doesn't like cell phones. In a matter of weeks, it's gone from "phones rot your brains" to phones not being allowed out to film new skills or at breaks. Ok - I can deal with this as many times our coaches are the ones who will film new skills/text the videos to the parents. And I would rather my daughter use her short break to eat vs. scroll. I think most parents are okay with this.

However, earlier this week, she announced that phones were not allowed to be brought to practice at all. This is obviously not realistic - many girls come straight from school, have varying ride situations, etc. I told my daughter she needed to be sure to leave her phone in her bag from the minute she leaves the car. This so far, has been fine.

Yesterday, the owner announced the girls must put give their phones to the front desk and if they need to reach their parent, they can use the single phone at the gym. This is not okay with me. I do not believe there should be a "gatekeeper" for a child to reach out to their parent, especially when they are at the gym for as many hours as our girls are. Additionally, my kiddo is not going to go ask the 18-year old front desk guy if she can use the phone if she's feeling uncomfortable (for any reason). It just feels icky to me that my daughter is essentially prevented from reaching out to me if she needs me. Not to mention in a true emergency situation - the girls are supposed to line up and wait for their turn on the phone? Or wait until the front desk can sort out whose phone is whose? Nope.

Anyway, yesterday at practice the gym owner WENT THROUGH THE BACKPACKS of the team to see who still had phones while the girls were warming up. The girls cannot see the team lounge from the main part of the gym so this was done without their knowledge. She kicked every girl out of practice who had a phone she could find. There were a few girls whose phones she did not find.

Is this out of line? I feel like this is such a red flag. I am so upset.

You are most definitely not overreacting.
At my gym, what we do is have cell phone holders right above our bags. Each slot has a kid's name on it. At the beginning of practice, you put your phone in the holder with your name on it. The head coaches have a clipboard with our names on it. If our phone is in the holder, we get a check on the paper. If the coach knows we have a phone and it is not in the holster, we get asked where it at. If it is in your bag, you are just asked to put it in the holder.
At breaks, we are not allowed to touch it. If one of the coaches sees that your phone is not in the holder anymore and you got a check mark next to your name at the beginning of practice, you are told to put it back and have a small 5 minutes of conditioning. You are allowed to record skills if you get a coach's permission. And then if there is an emergency, your phone is right there.

 

[Anonymous (13ff)]

I am seeking guidance because I feel like I am perhaps overreacting but maybe not?

Our gym owner recently shared with the girls that she doesn't like cell phones. In a matter of weeks, it's gone from "phones rot your brains" to phones not being allowed out to film new skills or at breaks. Ok - I can deal with this as many times our coaches are the ones who will film new skills/text the videos to the parents. And I would rather my daughter use her short break to eat vs. scroll. I think most parents are okay with this.

However, earlier this week, she announced that phones were not allowed to be brought to practice at all. This is obviously not realistic - many girls come straight from school, have varying ride situations, etc. I told my daughter she needed to be sure to leave her phone in her bag from the minute she leaves the car. This so far, has been fine.

Yesterday, the owner announced the girls must put give their phones to the front desk and if they need to reach their parent, they can use the single phone at the gym. This is not okay with me. I do not believe there should be a "gatekeeper" for a child to reach out to their parent, especially when they are at the gym for as many hours as our girls are. Additionally, my kiddo is not going to go ask the 18-year old front desk guy if she can use the phone if she's feeling uncomfortable (for any reason). It just feels icky to me that my daughter is essentially prevented from reaching out to me if she needs me. Not to mention in a true emergency situation - the girls are supposed to line up and wait for their turn on the phone? Or wait until the front desk can sort out whose phone is whose? Nope.

Anyway, yesterday at practice the gym owner WENT THROUGH THE BACKPACKS of the team to see who still had phones while the girls were warming up. The girls cannot see the team lounge from the main part of the gym so this was done without their knowledge. She kicked every girl out of practice who had a phone she could find. There were a few girls whose phones she did not find.

Is this out of line? I feel like this is such a red flag. I am so upset.

I have not read the other replies but I will say my daughters club team (a very well known one) took away their phones every practice her last 4 years and they were allowed no access without asking permission. I thought it was unnecessary, but didn’t bother me. When she suffered a serious injury, they got her the phone to text me.

And her NCAA team does exactly the same thing. They have to be placed in a container. If anyone forgets, the team is punished. They can’t even leave it in their bags in the locker room.

So take that into consideration…

 

[Anonymous (2a92)]

I have not read the other replies but I will say my daughters club team (a very well known one) took away their phones every practice her last 4 years and they were allowed no access without asking permission. I thought it was unnecessary, but didn’t bother me. When she suffered a serious injury, they got her the phone to text me.

And her NCAA team does exactly the same thing. They have to be placed in a container. If anyone forgets, the team is punished. They can’t even leave it in their bags in the locker room.

So take that into consideration…

I think it's one thing to have their phones at desk or in a cubby, etc, but searching through bags without permission is something different.

 

[Anonymous (13ff)]

I think it's one thing to have their phones at desk or in a cubby, etc, but searching through bags without permission is something different.

I didn’t disagree with this, but the OP said she’s not ok with the front desk holding phones and then having to ask for permission to use it and there being a “gatekeeper”.

I’m responding that this has been our experience for 4 years of club and now 3 years of NCAA. I don’t love my daughter’s phone having a gatekeeper, but also trusted the gym would provide it to her if she really needed it.

Side note: our public schools now have a no phone on campus policy. They used to have to just put them up, but now there are no phones or personal devices of any kind. Including watches, AirPods, laptops, iPads etc. They can leave it in their car if they drive. If they have another reason they must bring it they have to put it in some special pouch that has to be unlocked by a magnet at the front office.

The consequences of having a phone(or any device) on campus are very serious - suspension.

 

[Anonymous (f2ee)]

I have not read the other replies but I will say my daughters club team (a very well known one) took away their phones every practice her last 4 years and they were allowed no access without asking permission. I thought it was unnecessary, but didn’t bother me. When she suffered a serious injury, they got her the phone to text me.

And her NCAA team does exactly the same thing. They have to be placed in a container. If anyone forgets, the team is punished. They can’t even leave it in their bags in the locker room.

So take that into consideration…

This is interesting and I really appreciate your sharing. I guess it makes me feel better but I am still annoyed about the bags being looked through.

I am surprised at the college level this is an issue - I would think those girls know how to stay focused given the level they have achieved.

 

[Anonymous (13ff)]

This is interesting and I really appreciate your sharing. I guess it makes me feel better but I am still annoyed about the bags being looked through.

I am surprised at the college level this is an issue - I would think those girls know how to stay focused given the level they have achieved.

I was surprised too regarding NCAA because it’s a smaller group so it should be pretty easy to monitor without taking them away. I guess they want to know girls are not going to the bathroom or locker room and scrolling on their phones. It’s an easy temptation. Or maybe it’s more related to giving 100% of your focus while in the gym and not wondering if you got a text or a new like on TIk Tok.

Rules like this aren’t generally put into place without some type of incident or continued incidents that the gym feels like is distracting the girls. Prior to her club gym making this rule a lot of girls would go to the locker room and check their phones. Or pretend they needed to go to the bathrooms to get on their phones.

Because the owner acted a bit crazy checking bags, I would gather the owner (and possibly the coaches) have set limits that have been ignored by some and they feel like they have to keep upping the rules to compensate.

Maybe schedule a meeting and offer some solutions that would solve their concerns without them having to resort to searching bags. Buckets work well. Or suggest they have the girls get the pouches our schools are using. They were around $30 per pouch, but the gym would have to buy the magnet device that opens them at the end of practice. This way everyone keeps their phone in their possession, but they can’t use it during practice.