Parents Parent Observation Policies

[gymgal]

also! sorry everyone for no caps and fragmented sentences, but i am only able to type with one hand for the next couple of weeks due to a surgery i had last thurs. and it takes 4 ever to type now.....

. Use you phone's voice recognition feature. So much easier. Wish I had that option 20 years ago when I had my wrist surgeries. Wishing you a speedy recovery....

 

[cbifoja]

A lot of good stuff here on both sides. I think that only you know if it is in everyone's best interest to stay at the gym regardless if you watch or just take up space. It works for my situation and I really like what the poster said about break time sometimes being the longest conversation we have with our daughters.

And common sense should prevail. There is a continuum of parental "watching" On one end you have CGP coaching from the bleachers by yelling down to the child all the way over to the drop and dasher who watches 30 seconds of warm up/cool down. You have to find your place on the continuum where your child is happy with the situation and it works for your family and personal situation.

 

[happychaos]

There have been MANY postings on CB about alarming things that parents notice while watching practice. Things like wasted time, bullying, coaches being verbally abusive, skills being taught in an unsafe manner, etc. And these are things that take place with the parent right there.

If DD's gym instituted a no viewing policy, I would remove her from that gym, asap. That said, we have glass, and I have never, ever heard a parent attempting to coach from the viewing area. Also, there usually aren't more than one or two team parents watching any practice (and we have a large team) but there is always a large crowd of rec parents. Honestly, I don't think our coaches notice, or care, who is watching.

As a parent, I have the responsibility to ensure that my DD's surroundings are safe, both physically and emotionally. Watching an hour of practice every now and then helps me to feel confident in the coaching DD is receiving. Watching helps me trust the coaches more, not less.

If parents are losing confidence in a coach after watching practice, the problem may actually be the coach. Most parents are reasonable people who only have their child's best interests at heart. Sure, there are a few nutjob parents, but there are some nutjob coaches too. I would rather deal with a few overinvolved parents than a potentially harmful coach.

 

[PalmTree]

From my opinion as a coach, I can see how parental viewing has really affected some of my gymnasts in a negative way. Not just from those parents who are yelling at their kids from the sidelines. There is one mom who obviously talks to her kid after every practice…she is completely quiet the entire practice, not saying anything, but after every single skill her child does, she looks over to the bleachers to see if her mom is smiling or frowning. EVERY SINGLE SKILL. There are a few parents who are gossipy by nature and agonize over every decision the coaches make. "Why would they go to bars NOW?" "Why aren't they having her try that flip thingy?" etc etc. Then there are parents who literally time the turns that each gymnast gets so they can email me later and say that I obviously have favorites. Big sigh….

On the positive side, I really enjoy getting to know the parents by talking to them on breaks and after practice. It helps them to feel that I am approachable. I also LOVE how excited they are to see a kid get a new skill - especially when it is their kid.

So all in all, I see way more negatives than positives to parental viewing, but I don't think it would be fair to say you could NEVER watch your child do gymnastics. I wish our viewing area were up high and behind glass…instead of one foot away from the floor

 

[cbifoja]

We are behind glass and the girls can't even see us. They totally forget the lobby is even there. I used to get so tickled at one of our little hot dogs. She would get up on beam and start watching herself in the mirror and just really get into cheezing. All these funny poses and faces. I mean she would unintentionally have the entire lobby ROLLING! And so many girls check their teeth or look for boogers so I know that they've totally forgotten that their mirror is our window.

 

[Natasha]

Every time this subject comes up there seems to be a heated debate. I think if all coaches were like some of the great coaches on CB, parents wouldn't feel the need to watch to gain trust. And, if all parents could join chalk bucket and learn from all the wisdom provided, they could watch without interfering directly or indirectly. So I guess what I am saying is all the gymnastics world needs is Chalkbucket, and then this wouldn't be an issue anymore

Personally, I love catching a glimpse once in a while of my dd's training and the excitement she has when she gets a skill- I teach preschool classes in the gym once a week, so I sometimes see a few minutes in between or after my classes. However, recently had a not so good experience with a CGM who was watching which had the potential to get pretty bad.

 

[profmom]

One of the reasons I like watching is getting to see the other kids on the team with mine. It's been so fun watching them grow and progress over the years, and I get almost as excited when one of them gets a big new skill as I do for my own kid. I always feel like it's a real privilege if I happen to be around when it happens and everyone (parents included) breaks out into cheers.

 

[juststartingout]

I'm glad my dd's old gym let parents view or I would not have noticed all the safety issues there.

 

[LJL07]

I wouldn't be happy with a blanket no watching policy. We just came from a gym with bad coaching and other issues. I definitely wanted to make sure this new gym was a better environment. Now that I have confidence in the coaches, I don't feel like I have to watch. There is one team mom who coaches from the observation room. The head coach flat out told her she was distracting and becoming disruptive. I can also understand those parents who want to watch and see the new skills esp those with younger kids or new team kids and wanting to watch as time spent with the child.

 

[Rapunzel]

I usually get there 5-10mins before the end. If a child has learnt a new skill & wants to show, they ring a bell. All the gymnasts sit and watch and the parents watch too (as far as I know it only happens at the end of the session). My eldest dd has rung the bell once.
Watching her definitely affects her performance, at a recent f&v comp she asked me to go to the toilet when it was her turn on the vault.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I usually get there 5-10mins before the end. If a child has learnt a new skill & wants to show, they ring a bell. All the gymnasts sit and watch and the parents watch too (as far as I know it only happens at the end of the session). My eldest dd has rung the bell once.
Watching her definitely affects her performance, at a recent f&v comp she asked me to go to the toilet when it was her turn on the vault.

lol

 

[Clover]

We are technically allowed to watch practice once a month, but I very rarely take advantage of this (maybe once in the past 2 or 3 years). Although my DD says she likes for me to watch I do think it is a distraction to her. If I happen to come a few minutes early or stay a few minutes after drop off to chat with a friend or something I find DD looking at me a lot (and then sometimes the coach will look over to see what she is looking at). I think it is safer for her if I am not there.

We've been at our gym for 5 years, and I absolutely love our coaches and totally trust them. If I were brand new to the gym perhaps I would stay every once in a while at first to make sure everything seemed good. If I didn't trust the coaches I would leave the gym.

 

[Natalia]

Deep breath,

@gymtigermom summed it.

The coaches here on Chalkbucket are passionate,knowledgeable,mature all round great people.

The younger coaches here have shown humility,thurst for knowledge,awareness of their temporary limitations.

But out there ,in the big wide world,there are some bat-crazy destructive fustrated egomaniacs who should not be allowed within a 50 mile radius of a gym.

Some of these people have decades of experience,they were taught old school style and they haven't noticed that the world has evolved.

It doesn't take much time for a parent to figure out that they should run away,if they are allowed to see what is going on.

Give parents a credit viewing card with 2 hours monthly viewing available and let them use that time as they wish.

 

[Natalia]

I also wanted to add,the cray-cray coaches out there would do themselves a favour by letting parents view their work from time to time.

The first signs or second or third sign that a gyms' training philosophy doesn't align with a parents educational approach will lead to the departure of the parent and child.

Keeping a lid tightly shut on the pressure cooker until it explodes leads to a summons to present your butt in front of the judge.Weird thing is when one parent takes serious action, a domino effect is set off and formal complaints at the police station start raining down.

Better an empty gym,then a criminal enquiry.

Yeah! It ain't disney world out there.

 

[my4buffaloes]

it is a fine line and dependent on the child. My oldest likes me to watch, but gets very upset if I question anything (strictly due to my lack of knowledge) so I just wait for her to tell me whatever she wants to tell me after practice, which is usually a lot. My younger dd doesn't seem to care one way of the other and I get zero info from her so watching is helpful to me. My girls don't pay any attention to me when I am there and usually I play on my phone or talk to the other moms anyway. I don't want to appear too interested in them because I don't want to freak them out, but I like to look up and watch when they go for something. It helps me feel connected to my kids when I know what they are talking about.

 

[cbifoja]

I also want to say that I trust DD's coach with every fiber of my being. That isn't on my list of reasons I stay. I am trying to get DD used to me not being there by leaving for some errands. Last summer I tried it and the coaches said it didn't go well and so we all felt it would be better if I stayed.

But we have her health issue moving much more....normally. And her coach has promised her that I can come into the actual gym after practice to show me any new skills. I'm not going to drive all the way back home but I'm working on a project in the same town as her gym so I'll be close but not wasting all that gas.

She has a teammate who has promised to go to lunch and break with her and that they won't talk about boys. One of our "loud" gymnasts has left so that will cut down on the chaotic feel of the breakroom to help her out as well.

However, I don't know what will happen. DD is not happy but has agreed to give it the ol' college try.

 

[Seeker]

One thing to keep in mind is the age and level of the gymnast in question. When my DD was younger, I did want to observe more and it makes a lot more sense for younger kids and new-to-gymnastics parents. I found it fascinating to watch (and I would watch the boys and higher level kids just as much as her), but she was also much younger then and not nearly as independent. Now she's 10...still not old, but she's a lot more mature, much more independent and is training L8/9 now. Practices are much longer and I really do not want to watch some of it.

I also feel that she needs to be completely focused on herself and her coaches in order to learn these harder skills, so I make it a point to not come back until they're in the last bit of stretching and cool down period. Every now and then I catch a vault or something, but she does seem to notice as soon as I walk in and I don't want to distract her, so I try to time it right. She's got my full support and I know that her coaches will keep her safe, so I just drop her off and go. Definitely took some getting used to, but it's old hat now. I guess I'm maturing too!

 

[profmom]

Haha, it does depend on what skills they're training! I confess that I spend a little more time watching the boys if the (soon to be L8) girls are on beam or vault these days, though with the boys now starting to work on pbar giants and pirouettes, maybe I should just up my own running mileage.

Does anyone else find that no matter when you drop in, you always manage to catch the same event? I actually did see DD on floor last week for the first time in ages, because it seemed like every time I was at the gym, she was doing beam for a month. I don't think I've seen DS do rings since he competed at regionals, but I always seem to be there when they are doing horrifying things on pbars lately.

 

[Jodie Holliday]

Our gym does not have a parent viewing area and I think it's great. If my daughter has a new skill to show me then the coach will let me know when I come to pick up and I come into the gym to watch. I think my daughter would be more distracted if I was watching the whole time and I would feel guilty if I wasn't there to watch if they had an area to do so.

I guess because I am used to not having one at our gym (we have been there 8 years now) I don't feel the need for one.


GTCmom of a level 8 gymnast and wife of a coach

 

[bookworm]

I have never been in a gym with a "no viewing" policy, and people have never really watched all that much....maybe it's the old forbidden fruit adage...you want what you can't have...

That said, I wouldn't want to be told that I couldn't watch either...