Parents "Parent-teacher conferences" in gymnastics?

[Deleted member D3987]

Hi,
I have a just turned 4 year old (also A ) in a "hotshots" rec class and a 6 year old on team. I agree with the above poster that we are paying a lot of money (I know I am!!), and I see nothing wrong with wanting some feedback.

Here is how my experience has been with my 4 year old: we switched to a new gym fairly recently. The rec program director did a brief placement evaluation to see which group was the best fit. At the end of each class, the coach comes out with the kids (it's a fairly small group), and she gives brief feedback to each of the parents (e.g., she did great on beam today or she seemed a little tired). This has been sufficient for me, and it's pretty comparable to what we were getting at the old gym. I guess I would be more interested in more formal "feedback" if it were the beginning of a new registration/placement period if that makes sense.

I also have a 6 year old on team. I do want a little more feedback on her, and I have spoken to her coach by phone and in person. It's really less about placement/skills and more about her ADHD and managing that in the gym. She was in preschool gym before team, and I think I first "requested" feedback around the time they were moving kids up to new groups and team. She had been there well over a year by then.

Hope that helps! I think communication is so important. I think poor communication is what leads to (some) moms becoming CGMs!

i have posted this before. when the kids are as young as yours and the poster's, there is not much to talk about. that's the truth. that's why we as coaches don't want to talk. because it ends up just being white noise. we don't want to talk about forward rolls. understand?

now if the kids have behavioral problems, we are coming to you BEFORE you think of coming to us for anything. and i agree that more communication must take place when the kids are on medications for any reason and for any extended time.

 

[2G1B]

This is one thing that I really like about our previous gym. At the end of season the HC and any of your child's normal coaches have a parent meeting with EACH parent to go over the next year's plan for their child and to discuss any concerns.

We don't have that at our current gym. Though sometimes the coaches will say something at the end of practice.

 

[LJL07]

i have posted this before. when the kids are as young as yours and the poster's, there is not much to talk about. that's the truth. that's why we as coaches don't want to talk. because it ends up just being white noise. we don't want to talk about forward rolls. understand?

now if the kids have behavioral problems, we are coming to you BEFORE you think of coming to us for anything. and i agree that more communication must take place when the kids are on medications for any reason and for any extended time.

I do understand. I personally don't think there is anything to discuss with my 4 year old and feel like a brief, "she had fun today," at the end of her class is plenty enough feedback for me. However, the communication at our last gym was so bad that I can appreciate a parent wanting an approachable coach without feeling like she might "damage her reputation" if she asks a question.

With the other child starting at a new place and on a team situation, I did want them to know about the ADHD. If that's not something the gym can handle, there is no sense wasting everyone's time.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

However, the communication at our last gym was so bad that I can appreciate a parent wanting an approachable coach without feeling like she might "damage her reputation" if she asks a question.

I can appreciate the context in which it was originally written by gymdog, and what the coaches are saying about communication, but dang...a parent should worry about their reputation when they take an interest in their child by asking a coach, the supposed expert, how their child is progressing? This doesn't sit well with me at all, and I think it's awful.

 

[Gymsanity]

I think it's 100% reasonable to expect some communication from your daughters coaches. You are a paying customer, and that is really only asking for the bare minimum. I have all my coaches talk to the parents after each class while the other coaches are warming up the new classes. They try and make themselves available for 5 minutes or so afterwards to answer any questions, give some pats on the backs, mention some things they might have the girls work on outside of gym, and even just socialize. My secretaries are also a good source of information and problem solving, and I have them continually communicate and update the parents. I learned a long time ago, 'If you don't take care of your customers, someone else will.'

 

[gymdog]

I can appreciate the context in which it was originally written by gymdog, and what the coaches are saying about communication, but dang...a parent should worry about their reputation when they take an interest in their child by asking a coach, the supposed expert, how their child is progressing? This doesn't sit well with me at all, and I think it's awful.

Well, I'm a pretty open person which I would think is apparent from these boards, but the truth is yes, unless you have a problem it's better to play it cool until/if you do. MANY parents are under the mistaken the assumption that the squeaky wheel gets more grease, but that isn't always true. I think it's fine to tell the coach your daughter loves gymnastics (just tell them before the class). I think it is neither fine nor a good idea for the OP to request a parent-teacher conference based on her stated goals.

Of course, she is free to do it, and clearly on this thread the parents feel differently about how it should work...but multiple coaches are saying the same thing. Personally I would consider it a red flag if someone asked for a conference after observing the class. That is well outside the norm (I've never had such a request).

 

[gymdog]

Also if you have questions about how the class levels work or such, you should ask the office. At most gyms coaches aren't responsible for disseminating most information. When parents try to call me out if a class or warmup to ask questions, I immediately tell then I'm working and to leave a message in the office. THAT is a safety and quality issue that should be strictly against gym policy. Would you want the coach to be talking to a parent while teaching your child?

 

[amphomma]

I definitely understand the workings of a gym more now. Thank you all for sharing wisdom and experience.

I was the original poster. As I have no concerns, I will continue to watch my daughter and see what happens. I'd love to tell her teacher "thanks" when I can, but I don't want to get in the way of her next class.

 

[purpleleomom]

I'm updating my previous reply in this thread. So last week, my DD's developmental coaches did testing. I was quite shocked to receive an email from one of the coaches letting me know her status. At the end of practice, DD came out with a full page of skills and how they rated her on each one. It had tons of detailed notes about what needs improvement on each skill - point toes here, don't pike there - way more info than an 8 yo with ADHD cares about.

I thought this was really nice and thanked her. I'm going to be sad when we move and have to leave what feels (right now) like the perfect gym.

 

[LJL07]

Also if you have questions about how the class levels work or such, you should ask the office. At most gyms coaches aren't responsible for disseminating most information. When parents try to call me out if a class or warmup to ask questions, I immediately tell then I'm working and to leave a message in the office. THAT is a safety and quality issue that should be strictly against gym policy. Would you want the coach to be talking to a parent while teaching your child?

Maybe it's the use of "conference" that sounds over the top to coaches. I think wanting informal feedback in passing is ok. Surely parents would not call you out of a class or instruction for a "conference"?? Wait. What am I thinking? There probably ARE some that would do that. I would hope that most reasonable parents would not.

Purpleleomom, that is awesome!! I don't know of any gyms around here that do that.

 

[gymdog]

Maybe it's the use of "conference" that sounds over the top to coaches. I think wanting informal feedback in passing is ok. Surely parents would not call you out of a class or instruction for a "conference"?? Wait. What am I thinking? There probably ARE some that would do that. I would hope that most reasonable parents would not.

Purpleleomom, that is awesome!! I don't know of any gyms around here that do that.

Parents try to call me out of class all the time to ask things. I always tell them to go to the office.

 

[mommyof1]

On the other side of the issue, my daughter had a very chatty rec coach who would often initiate conversations with parents. I learned the hard way to take everything she said with a grain of salt. I do think it is nice when the rec coaches take a minute after class to say hi to the parents and let them know that their kids are behaving themselves, but when a rec coach starts saying things like "we need to get her in the developmental program right away" without following through, it is just crazy-making for the parents.

As long as your daughter's instructor or whoever else is responsible for selecting kids to be evaluated for team knows that your daughter is interested in this path and that you would support it, and you have a good understanding of the selection process and timeline, you should be fine. I do not think 4 years old is necessarily too soon to make your child's interest known. If you're at a gym where the standard path to team begins in a preschool "hot shots" program, then 4 years may be the critical age. I am not a fan of this model, but some places that's just the way it is.

 

[LJL07]

Parents try to call me out of class all the time to ask things. I always tell them to go to the office.

Geez. I cannot imagine knocking on the classroom door during school to talk to the teacher or walking into dance class to talk to the dance teacher during the class. Apparently people do this.

I guess when my middle one was 4, I wasn't really thinking about team yet. Our first gym with the really bad communication moved a bunch of kids in the preschool group up to the larger developmental group when we had been there well over a year, but left my child and another one who were noticeably much more advanced in the preschool group. That mother and I were like, "what in the world?!" Yes, then I said something to the coach and gym owner. Apparently they deliberately left the two girls in the preschool group bc it was smaller and they were planning to move those two to team in spring. The gym should have totally communicated that to us. The other little girl left the gym for another gym, and we almost did too at the time. All of this could have been avoided with some communication even though the kids were 5 yrs old.

It is helpful to know from coaches when and under what circumstances it is good for parents to request coach feedback. I truly felt the above situation warranted some kind of explanation as a paying customer and parent.

 

[amphomma]

I put "conference" in quotation marks for that very reason, because I was just relating it to a chat one might have with a teacher outside of class time. I'm sorry as the original poster to have caused a stir! I'm not one to ruffle feathers intentionally.

I do think my Little A's teacher does a great job of communicating with the girls during class, as well as giving a quick word with a parent when she feels it's necessary. I respect her time.

We get second-hand, but still valuable feedback from A's previous teacher, who is usually at open gym. She will stop by and tell us that A's teacher thinks she is doing a great job, or that a certain skill is really improving, or that if she keeps working hard, then she will get to move up to the class her good friend just moved up to...that's a lot for her to say without our asking for input!

I have a good feeling about the gym so far, and I'm just excited to see my daughter continue to grow and learn. Thanks for all the ongoing wisdom here!

 

[Ex member]

I do think my Little A's teacher does a great job of communicating with the girls during class, as well as giving a quick word with a parent when she feels it's necessary. I respect her time.

It is like that in my dd's gym, the coaches are happy to talk to parents and will talk to parents after the session has finished if there is some info for them. The head coach for girls seems to like to talk to parents and have a laugh and a joke with them when passing (younger dd has no dealing with the head coach except the odd hello or pat on the head, my oldest dd doesn't really have much dealings with the head coach either except for the odd good natured teasing in the gym and a hello outside the gym).

A month ago a was going through a phase of wanting to know more about younger dd's group and where they were heading (she moved out of rec a few months ago), I have now come to relax more and realised that if there was an issue they would come to me, I think that the fact that dd is still is this group speaks for itself (she is the youngest and smallest), if she wasn't coping or wasn't able to keep up then I am sure that they would soon find a different group for her (they started new groups a month or so ago and filled them with girls dd's age 6-7).

I now go by what my dd has told me and if I am not sure if dd heard the information correctly then I would ask one of the parents of the other girls in her group for confirmation, I will now only speak to the coach if there is anything they need to know that would effect dd's gymnastics unless the coach initiated the conversation themselves.

I think that I am pretty lucky with the gym that both my dd's go to, the coaches are friendly and will speak to you if you approach them, but this is something I try to avoid (nothing personal to the coaches), I just don't want to bug them with every question that I have, instead I tend to post on here.