OK, so I was hoping to get some sort of feedback here. I don't even know what to do here anymore - I am confused and I am ticked off.
As many of you here may know, DD is a preteamer. She started on Future Mites, the feeder class for our gym's L3 preteam (non-competitive). This was oh, 18 months ago. DD was nearly 6. It was an adjustment for DD. She'd been all the way up to Intermediate on the rec side of things and that "new" class went back to basics and was mostly conditioning. Previously, she primarily had fun, kind male instructors for 2 consecutive years, whom she'd loved dearly. Her new coach was very cold. Lots of corrections, very little positive feedback. DD did not complain (much!) during this time period, though.
After about 7 months, they bumped the entire group up to L3 preteam, a first for our gym. We usually hold try-outs. Practice time was doubled. DD was ok at first. After 3-4 months, though, she started having a lot of self-esteem issues. She asked to quit, said her coach was too mean and that she thought she "just wasn't a good gymnast". I told her that if she still wanted to quit after that session, she could - and with my blessing. I spoke to coach (briefly) and said DD was having a bit of a hard time. After a couple of weeks, DD was back to her old self. I let it go an chalked it up to DD being sensitive (which she IS).
Here comes summer and DD was ok for a period of time. Coach seemed to be in a relatively good mood. More smiles, more hi-fives. Life was good. Then comes August. Coach is grumpy again, DD is grumpy. DD doesn't want to go to practice. There was a mix-up at her gym and DD was left alone, unattended with no phone call to me for an hour (I posted here about it). I was furious, DD was heartbroken. The very next week, coach was spotting DD on cast-to-handstand and she pushed DD over the bar. DD panicked and let go, landed on her back and had the wind knocked out of her. Coach yelled at DD for letting go. DD immediately reverted to being anxious before each practice. She was terrified of handstands of any kind. She was a wreck for a good 6 weeks or so. Finally, DD got enough confidence up and was able to again do her handstand on the beam and at least attempt the cast-to-handstand without too much trouble. Life was not "good", but it was much better.
Fast forward about 6 weeks or so again to this week. DD is the only one not able to do her BHS without a spot. On Tuesday, her coach put her on the tramp and walked away. DD cried, terrified to do it herself. One of her former male rec coaches (who knows her very well) walked over and gave her a finger spot. DD got four in a row. Now technically I am not sure how wonderful they were (looked comparable to her teammates to my untrained eye). I was ecstatic for her. Coach walks over, and crucifies my DD. Rips apart her BHS and makes her do it in pieces again. Yanking on her ponytail to look appropriately, yelling at her to jump back, stopping her in handstand position. Roughly moving her body (to be honest, to me it looked not that bad, even) around, then making her finish. THEN, she barked more corrections at her.
DD left practice in tears. She has zero confidence for her BHS and says she'll never get it. This then starts an ever higher flow of tears because coach "always yells at me, me more than anyone else" and "coach says I am the only one that still needs help". She was a wreck all day yesterday, and didn't eat her lunch today because, apparently, she was very nervous for today's class.
Before class today, DD cried. She sobbed, she didn't want to go. Now, me being me, I didn't want her to quit for a fear... and she DOESN'T want to quit. Just didn't want to do her BHS. DD's teammate (a good friend) actually accurately GUESSED that DD was upset because coach yells at DD's BHS. Coach was obviously flustered over DD's tears and told DD that she shouldn't worry about it yet.
So, DD hesitantly walks into practice. I stayed because DD begged me not to leave. DD gets to the last 30 minutes of practice and they worked that dreaded handstand on the high beam. DD of course falls, cries. Coach was not happy. I could not hear what was said, but it was obvious my DD was crying and coach was pissed. DD finishes other rotations, gets back to HS station. Was obviously nervous. Did it again, fell again. Coach seemed unhappy from afar and was pointing and very obviously giving corrections. My DD, at this point, was hysterical. A teammate pointed out my DD was hurt, and coach yelled at my DD to "just go get an ice pack". DD came running to me. The entire front of her left leg is scraped and bruised, according to DD from the first fall. From the second, her bottom is bruised and scraped. DD is 7. Coach did not even check her out.
To say I am irate is the understatement of the century. My instinct says to get my DD the heck out of this gym. Is this just me being a mama bear, or does it seem justified?
Is my DD just not cut out for team gymnastics? Is it like this everywhere? Should I put her in rec gymnastics, dance, soccer, rock climbing, baton twilrling???? I am so confused at the moment. I no longer know what to do. When DD knew I was pissed today (I did not do well in my attempt to hide that - I was shaking), she begged me not to pull her from the team. L4 tryouts (which I was told my DD should have no trouble with) are in 3 weeks. She is aware of that. At our gym, if you quit team in compulsories, you are not getting back on.
I feel like I am a terrible parent if I let her continue. I also feel terrible if I make her quit. We are at (arguably) the best gym in our state. I am lost.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
A broken mamaoftwo
