Please help me!

[gymdog]

If she doesn't want to take a break, I would just go back to a rec class. Perhaps two times a week. Presumably a L3 or advanced class but maybe it'll be less pressure. She can still keep up her skills and try preteam again when she's a little older and not dealing with the stress of starting school and other problems. It sounds like the current situation is not working due to a reason other than the gym, maybe I am understanding incorrectly or don't have enough details - go with your gut - but if that's the case then I would expect that it might go okay at the other preteam for awhile and then have similar problems. Or maybe she will adjust. I would look into the advanced rec class options, personally, in case. Perhaps she can try one of those.

 

[mayestra12]

Yes, I am going to do that. Perhaps coach at gym #2 will want her to do level 2 even though she has level 3 skills? Level 2 is only once a week for two hours. That might give her time to adjust and maybe she can join up with level 3 after their competition season is over. She doesn't know any of the level 3 routines anyway. I will also check out advanced rec classes.

I'll know more tomorrow. She's excited about the visit to gym #2 tomorrow and I don't want to take that away now. I haven't seen her excited and positive about gym in a long time.

 

[Sarah'sMom]

Btw how old are the other kids in the gym 1 class? Are they the same or roughly the same age as your daughter?

 

[mayestra12]

Yes, they are all in Kindergarten or 1st grade.

Things are not looking good at my house tonight. Even though she is excited about trying gym #2 she is not convinced she can go into the class tomorrow without tears....anxiety is rearing it's ugly head again...

She has one chance and that's it. If she has tears tomorrow she will not be in gym anymore. I've been stressed beyond belief for the last two months trying to figure out the root of the problem and still can't get there....did I mention we are seeing a child psychologist (about the anxiety) and dd NEVER brings up any issues about gymnastics? I just don't get it?!??!


If she will do a rec class without issues then that is where she should be. Ugh...and dd only asked for gymnastics stuff for xmas....

Please send positive thoughts that she will try the class tomorrow without problems.

 

[bluesocks]

I just read this whole thread and feel I could have written it myself. So...sorry for what may be a long, rambling response.

Last spring, I had surgery and spent two weeks recovering. During this time, my mom came to take care of my daughter and keep her normal schedule (I am a single mom). I thought I did everything right, but it really impacted my daughter and her seperation anxiety skyrocketed. So, although you were only gone a short time, I do believe something triggered that same kind of anxiety for your daughter. Shortly thereafter, my daugter started not really wanting to go to gymnastics. I didn't love her coach, but move ups were happening soon, so I sort of felt like it wasn't that big of a deal. But, in retrospect, the coach always made my daughter feel like she wssn't good enough. It was never perfect. So, although she was making tons of progress, she was only hearing the negative. Ultimately, she was not moved up (a whole long, political story in itself). I decided she could not stay with that coach for another six months. We ended up changing gyms to a much more positive environment where she is still making great progress but gets lots of praise throughout practice. This change was necessary and very positive. In January, she will be joining the level four team! For us, dealing with the anxiety has been a long, long process. The gymnastics piece is one small part of the overall issue. BUT, changing gyms has made it possible for her to continue in this sport. I think she would have quit or had even worse mental health issues had she stayed at the other gym.

Some suggestions...look for the best environment that suits her learning style. Don't worry about which gym is the "best." Rather, seek the gym that has a style that fits with your daughter. About the tears and the crying, threats and consequences will not work. Instead, I would have a very open conveersation along the lines of....I notice there are lots of tears when I drop you off for gym, but you still seem to love doing handstands and cartwheels throughout the house. What's up with that? And en LISTEN with all of your heart. When I have conversstions like this with my daughter, it is amazing what I hwve learned.

I wish you the best. Dealing with anxiety at this age is so hard (my DD is six, too).

Blue

 

[gymdog]

Yes, they are all in Kindergarten or 1st grade.

Things are not looking good at my house tonight. Even though she is excited about trying gym #2 she is not convinced she can go into the class tomorrow without tears....anxiety is rearing it's ugly head again...

She has one chance and that's it. If she has tears tomorrow she will not be in gym anymore. I've been stressed beyond belief for the last two months trying to figure out the root of the problem and still can't get there....did I mention we are seeing a child psychologist (about the anxiety) and dd NEVER brings up any issues about gymnastics? I just don't get it?!??!


If she will do a rec class without issues then that is where she should be. Ugh...and dd only asked for gymnastics stuff for xmas....

Please send positive thoughts that she will try the class tomorrow without problems.

I think it may be a bit premature, it seems like she was doing well in the rec classes before so I would just tell her to try the one class you agreed to try and then she can go back to a class "like her old class." She may just need some familiarity after a lot of changes and upheaval, it sounds like maybe she is just uncertain and having trouble dealing with uncertainty. Taking gymnastics away completely may not be the best answer, I would see if she can go back to her former class and teachers, if you explain the situation they will likely allow her in the level 2 class even with somewhat more advanced skills.

I hope it goes all right, I think you'll just have to feel it out, but maybe if she sees her old teachers tomorrow and some familiarity it will help. I would talk to her about her old class and see how she feels about that. Again it sounds like uncertainty is a problem. I was like this as a child. I didn't do gymnastics until I was 7 and when my mother proposed to the idea to me I refused to go to the class and only went after my older sister did it once and she made me watch. So if she still feels uncertain maybe she should just go WATCH the class with you, reassure her she is in control and if she decides to go out there, fine. I probably would not have joined a gymnastics class as a 5 year old, honestly.

 

[mayestra12]

Thanks again! I think telling her she can just watch would be great. I hope she'll want to get out there but if not that's ok too.

Gym #2 has a Saturday class that would be great for her and I can stay for that class. It will be a great choice if she doesn't want to do team.

I'll be sure to post about how it goes!

 

[mayestra12]

Just wanted to say that we are going back to gym #2. It's a great fit for her and she loved it yesterday. The anxiety over gymnastics is slowly disappearing. I can only hope it stays that way.