Parents Pushing kids until they cry?Just part of gymnastics?

[BachFlyer]

In 7 yrs of gym, and through to Level 10, my dd has cried once during conditioning. Thrown up once too. Both were during summer conditioning, which is admittedly seems to be a little more brutal. I think maybe if it was early on in summer with a bunch of girls new to team, you might expect some tears from several kids. But the whole team? If it were my team I'd keep a good eye out and start watching practices. If it happens again, I'd be very, very worried for those kids' wellbeing.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I would have a red flag on that. I have seen girls (singularly each time) cry during stretching, out of frustration, or immediately following an injury. I have seen girls cry from sadness when someone was leaving. I have not ever seen crying en masse and would be mighty curious if it were the norm, and if it were I would be likely to try and put a stop to whatever was causing it.

 

[Lynn]

At our old gym, crying at anytime other than an injury got you thrown out of practice. Crying at a meet resulted in extra conditioning. My DD has rarely ever cried but did once at a meet for letting herself down...At our new gym, we don't see a lot of crying other than frustration and when that happens, the girls rally around and work thru it together. One event coach is really good about helping in this situation and one coach says there's no time for crying in the gym. So it's usually worked out amongst the girls.

 

[kitkat]

In our gym it would not be normal. We have some gymnast who do cry a lot (fear, frustrated, hurt, whatever the reason may be ) and that would be normal for them...but as a whole they don't cry.

 

[twinmomma]

I guess my question would be what was the conditioning set? Was this a one time deal? Were they yelled at for something prior to? Or is this an ongoing issue? Are you able to hear the coach during conditioning?

I have to say, having boy/girl twins who are both highly competitive in their own separate sports, I've seen a LOT LESS crying in gymnastics with the girls than I do with the same aged baseball boys. My thoughts are that there's definitely something else being said or going on to prompt this, and that it's not the conditioning itself. From what I've seen, most gymnasts enjoy conditioning because so much of it is just an extension of what they already love to do. DD would choose conditioning over ballet work any day of the week.

 

[my4buffaloes]

The first question is, is it normal for your dd to cry sometimes? If yes then not that big of a deal. If no it becomes more concerning and worth looking into.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

@twinmomma , that makes me laugh. DS is just a year older than dd, and I've seen more crying from him and his baseball team mates than I have from the gymnasts! Some of them at that age(including ds) cried all the way to the dugout after every strikeout!!!! It was maddening! But, for the OP, I would say that some amount of tears is "normal" in the gym. My dd (10) cried with frustration and effort during conditioning. It freaked me out the first time I saw her, but then she came out of gym all smiles and "starving". It's just her way of dealing with the level of effort she is putting in. (not forced by any means, it's all self driven) Leveling up can be really hard from some girls, especially if they had a comparatively easy conditioning schedule before. For some of them at this age, it's the first time they have been pushed beyond what's "fun". I would expect those tears to be short lived as everyone adjusts to the new workout. Also, I've walked into the gym and seen a whole group of girls crying because they were scolded by their beloved coach. Once one of them started, the waterworks came on for all. So, if it continues, it's a problem. If it' an isolated incidence or seasonal, I wouldn't worry too much.

 

[1canadiangymmom]

crying at anytime other than an injury got you thrown out of practice. Crying at a meet resulted in extra conditioning

This!

 

[twinmomma]

@twinmomma , that makes me laugh. DS is just a year older than dd, and I've seen more crying from him and his baseball team mates than I have from the gymnasts! Some of them at that age(including ds) cried all the way to the dugout after every strikeout!!!! It was maddening! But, for the OP, I would say that some amount of tears is "normal" in the gym. My dd (10) cried with frustration and effort during conditioning. It freaked me out the first time I saw her, but then she came out of gym all smiles and "starving". It's just her way of dealing with the level of effort she is putting in. (not forced by any means, it's all self driven) Leveling up can be really hard from some girls, especially if they had a comparatively easy conditioning schedule before. For some of them at this age, it's the first time they have been pushed beyond what's "fun". I would expect those tears to be short lived as everyone adjusts to the new workout. Also, I've walked into the gym and seen a whole group of girls crying because they were scolded by their beloved coach. Once one of them started, the waterworks came on for all. So, if it continues, it's a problem. If it' an isolated incidence or seasonal, I wouldn't worry too much.

I swear boys are 10x more emotional than the girls at this age. It must be the balancing act that goes with having to deal with the girls as teenagers!

 

[beachgirl]

Not knowing much about gymnastics I thought crying was normal. In the last 3 years that my daughter has been on the team there has been someone or even the whole group of 6 crying almost everyday. We changed gyms 3 weeks ago ( not because of this) and my daughter tells me that nobody cries at the new gym.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Depends, give us more info.

 

[cbifoja]

I've seen a girl here and there cry from frustration or injury but I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone cry because of conditioning. We briefly had a conditioning coach who took a drill sergeant approach with the girls and the girls HATED him! He would make up nicknames for them rather than use their names (because they hadn't earned the right to be addressed by their real names ) and would just really push them and taunt them if they got fatigued. It was very out of character for our staff and he was asked to leave after two weeks. We don't roll like that!

Even with him, only one girl cried and that was because her "nickname" was pretty mean and it hurt her feelings. If our entire team was crying, that would be a HUGE sign that something major was going badly.

 

[gracyomalley]

Lots of "silent" crying from the 12-15 year old optional girls over fear/frustration/hormones - but rare for any crying of "whole team", and certainly not about conditioning - although complaining afterwards, lots of that!

A few years ago DD had a coach that "made" the older girls cry with his hard conditioning - but the youngers just went with it. For kids in the 7-9 year range to all cry with conditioning repeatedly would definitely be an issue.

Oh, and as she went through puberty, DD fully admits to becoming a "crier" about frustration and fear - but still tough as nails about physical pain and conditioning. She is getting better at realizing that her emotions are hers to manage - that no one will "blame" her for feeling them, but that in the end, its up to her to manage them! Oh, and chocolate!

 

[l.c.o]

It depends, I think.

Have you watched the practices? Does it concern you?

DD had a period when she and her teammates cried during conditioning. Not the sobbing dramatic tears, but the silent ones that just kill you. Later, she cried BEFORE practices in anticipation of the conditioning.

In both cases, DD switched gyms. Consistent tears and anxiety over practice ... Which worsened over time... wasn't cool in my book.

Where she is now, despite frustration and pain the first 3-4 weeks of practice (the conditioning was that different) she never cried. She hated being "behind" the other girls and really busted her tush to get to their level. And she really was very sore after each practice.

That said, I did get an earful about the difficulty for awhile. Amd she still cringes whenever DS talks about pbars.

 

[anothergymmom]

Some girls at my dd's gym cry during conditioning . Real actual sobbing with tears streaming down. My dd is not a crier and when I first saw this in ghe gym , coming to pick up my dd, I was so alarmed I hung around to make sure the girls were ok and that no one was being cruel or hurting them. In every case the grls were fine. I asked my dd about it. She thinks some girls just cry as a way of relieving tension. There is no correlation between weakness or strength and the crying during conditioning. It does sem to be the younger girls mostly.

 

[Deleted member 17723]

Once a girl starts to cry in our gym they are told to go get a drink and walk. A coach typically goes with them. However, it isn't a common occurrence.

 

[Midwestmommy]

One or two crying sometimes for various reasons, have seen it. I have never seen "most" of any team at our gym crying at once. To me that's a red flag , particularly if you see it happening more than once. I would probably be more worried about how the message is being delivered rather than what the message is if it's a whole group of kids crying. This is supposed to be character-building and hard and challenging, but also fun and rewarding.... If they are being ridiculed and humiliated that is not OK.

 

[wrzos]

I have heard that there are a few girls each year in the summer, when they've just moved up a level and hours increase, who have cried. I asked about it and was told that the first 2 weeks of a new level/increased hours can be really tough to adjust to, and that different girls handle it differently. It definitely stopped after the first week or so.

Personally, my dd had 2-3 days of crying last summer when she went up in hours because her legs were just so sore. We added epsom salt baths, and some essential oils to her routine, and she quickly bounced back. AND - she wasn't crying because she didn't want to be there, just that her legs were sore from the day before..

 

[Amusibus]

At our gym, it is rare. I see maybe one kid cry about once a month, all different ages. That said, I almost never watch practice, so I am really just talking about at pickup. It is much more common to see crying in "the littles", ages 5&6, on the developmental team. That coach really pushes hard when she stretches the girls. When mine was in that group, I remember asking the coach once how she was doing. She said something like, Oh she's doing really good, she never cries...and I'm thinking, ok, what?!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I know that gymnastics is a tough sport and that conditioning is not fun or easy. I also know that in order to get better/stronger you need to push beyond your limits. Is it typical/normal for the girls to be pushed in conditioning until they cry? This is most of the team crying, not just my daughter (girls ages 7-9). Wondering if this is just a normal part of gymnastics and a necessary part of the process in other's experience? Can't help but feel bad when I see the kids crying.

if anyone should be crying it should be the coaches.