Women Question about young aggressive gymnast

[xtremegymmom]

Hi everybody, this is my first post, but I'm trying to educate myself as a parent, quite frankly I don't know what to do.

My daughter is 8 years old turning 9 this year. Competed L8 last season. She has big dreams....huge....this all happened rather fast. She is a very very aggressive and driven little girl, she bleeds gymnastics.

She is currently upset because she wants her practice at her home gym to be more like her practice at "the ranch"....it is particularly bothering her on bars

First she says, how am I going to look good at the ranch if I'm not continuing to practice the drills at home.....then She says she's afraid she's not going to be able to get all of the different tricks she's going to need in time for hopes. She is talking more like an adult than a little kid.

As a rational adult I can see that she has tons of time to get all this stuff, heck she's only 8. Im so afraid shes going to burn out. However, she is really really frustrated by this to the point of tears.

As parents and coaches, nobody is expecting her to compete hopes as a 10/11 year old....she is putting this pressure on herself.


Do i blow this off as being too little to understand or Does she have a point even in her young age?

 

[bogwoppit]

Speak to her coach. If the coach takes her to the ranch, then they should be able to answer you.

 

[xtremegymmom]

I tried Was completely open and honest because idk what to do. Now I have an upset daughter and an upset coach.

She feels like she's not getting coached....coach feels like I'm picking on (him/her)

 

[bogwoppit]

Well if she is 8 and going to the ranch being coached does not sound like it is a problem.

 

[xtremegymmom]

Well if she is 8 and going to the ranch being coached does not sound like it is a problem.

Maybe....I'm not an ex gymnast and have no clue. Which is why I asked the experts...

Just trying to sort out my gymmie's feelings...I'd love to hear from other tops parents, is it common for young girls to have such high expectations? Is this normal?

What do I tell her?

 

[happychaos]

I tried Was completely open and honest because idk what to do. Now I have an upset daughter and an upset coach.

She feels like she's not getting coached....coach feels like I'm picking on (him/her)

Does this coach have experience coaching Hopes and Elite girls? If so, I wouldn't worry about it. If your DD competed L8 as an 8 year-old, it seems like Hopes at 10/11 doesn't sound unreasonable.

IMO, I think it's interesting that your DD is the one who doesn't think she is being properly coached. Usually it seems to be the parents who first wonder if something is amiss. What is the coach's reason for not continuing the training taught at the ranch?

 

[xtremegymmom]

Does this coach have experience coaching Hopes and Elite girls? If so, I wouldn't worry about it. If your DD competed L8 as an 8 year-old, it seems like Hopes at 10/11 doesn't sound unreasonable.

IMO, I think it's interesting that your DD is the one who doesn't think she is being properly coached. Usually it seems to be the parents who first wonder if something is amiss. What is the coach's reason for not continuing the training taught at the ranch?

New but successful Tops program. Had one qualify to Hopes. No elites.

Different style of coaching. I don't think I could safely ask that question without coach feeling attacked. She is just so discouraged, I've never seen her like this.

 

[happychaos]

Given that your DD is the one not satisfied with the coaching, and coach doesn't have much experience, I would look elsewhere.

If the coach had been eager to tell you about her training plans for your DD, and laid out a plan to get her to Hopes, I might stick it out. Obviously she got your DD to L8 very quickly, and deserves credit where it is due. But, it sounds like your DD doesn't have faith that the coach can get her there, and that would be worrisome to me.

 

[windydays]

DD is a young aggressive gymnast too I have been told by one of her coaches that she is pulling the class, finishes her assignments and then asks for something harder. If you daughter is becoming frustrated with the coaching and the coach/gym isn't responsive, I agree with happychaos and look elsewhere. At the very least research other gyms and go watch their TOPs/Hopes/Elite practice.

 

[cprp]

Just my take on this: I'm sure your DD is a prodigy because her progress is amazing!!! But something in this feels wrong and inauthentic. Accept my humblest apologies if I'm judging. Going to the Ranch or even preparing for this at 8!!!!!! You've got amazing coaches I believe!

 

[gymgal]

i would send a private message (it is called conversation on this site) with one of the coaches on the forum. There aren't a lot of 8yr old L8s out there so you are wise to be cautious about saying too much publicly. the coaches can help you more than the parents in terms of training at this point. dunno, coachp, jbs would be good starting points. maybe others here will have more recommendations, but these coaches definitely know a lot about the inner workings of the gym world.

In terms of child behavior, I would say that your dd is not typical in her drive and concerns. There are many kids who are motivated and want to work their hardest to get to the top at this age. But most would not think to question that their coaches or training is not good enough. It is not a good sign that she is losing faith in them at this young age. This needs to be corrected in order for her to be successful but that doesn't necessarily mean a change in gyms.

 

[Mama Duck]

Hi everybody, this is my first post, but I'm trying to educate myself as a parent, quite frankly I don't know what to do.

My daughter is 8 years old turning 9 this year. Competed L8 last season. She has big dreams....huge....this all happened rather fast. She is a very very aggressive and driven little girl, she bleeds gymnastics.

She is currently upset because she wants her practice at her home gym to be more like her practice at "the ranch"....it is particularly bothering her on bars

First she says, how am I going to look good at the ranch if I'm not continuing to practice the drills at home.....then She says she's afraid she's not going to be able to get all of the different tricks she's going to need in time for hopes. She is talking more like an adult than a little kid.

As a rational adult I can see that she has tons of time to get all this stuff, heck she's only 8. Im so afraid shes going to burn out. However, she is really really frustrated by this to the point of tears.

As parents and coaches, nobody is expecting her to compete hopes as a 10/11 year old....she is putting this pressure on herself.


Do i blow this off as being too little to understand or Does she have a point even in her young age?

Level 8 at 8 years ols is nothing short of amazing! How often does she practice at "the ranch"?

 

[xtremegymmom]

Thanks everybody. The insight is very helpful. We are not wanting to switch gyms so I'm hopeful that this will resolve in a positive way.

 

[truth-seeker]

We know that every person (child, coach, parent) is unique. Thus, I would value opinions from people who rely less on fitting your child into their own past experiences but more on applying sufficient experience, patience, and knowledge to analyze the novel features of your situation. I tend to believe that our childrens' opinions and dreams deserve respect (even younger than age 8).

 

[bogwoppit]

We know that every person (child, coach, parent) is unique. Thus, I would value opinions from people who rely less on fitting your child into their own past experiences but more on applying sufficient experience, patience, and knowledge to analyze the novel features of your situation. I tend to believe that our childrens' opinions and dreams deserve respect (even younger than age 8).

Stretch?

 

[Jenny]

I think so......

 

[Faith]

My first thought was where has she heard this..when you say she's talking like an adult, she could be repeating adult conversation?

Your DD sounds very driven, but IME 8 year olds don't have the ability to see the long view like this.

Maybe at the ranch they've said stuff like you need to practice these drills at home, and you need to work hard so you have skill x, y and z in a year or two for hopes? Especially if she's the youngest and been included with older kids who don't have so much time.

My DD is also driven in a similar way. But she never saw problem with her home program. The only time she may say something is if she desperately wants to try skill x, "knows" she can do it, and coach won't let her.

I'd be trying to find out whether this is coming from her, or it's something she's heard. Ask her if she actually knows what skills she needs for hopes- get her to write a list. Try a training diary too, DD finds this invaluable as she can see 3 months ago she couldn't do a, b, or c, and now she's way past that and on to g, h, and i…
Also if she has the diary with her she can show coach and he can explain how she's progressing towards them- ours seem to do loads of drills, then one day they put it all together and hey presto! Loads of skills you never saw coming.

How did you approach it with the coach? Could he have taken it the wrong way, as a criticism of his coaching?

 

[xtremegymmom]

My first thought was where has she heard this..when you say she's talking like an adult, she could be repeating adult conversation?

Your DD sounds very driven, but IME 8 year olds don't have the ability to see the long view like this.

Maybe at the ranch they've said stuff like you need to practice these drills at home, and you need to work hard so you have skill x, y and z in a year or two for hopes? Especially if she's the youngest and been included with older kids who don't have so much time.

My DD is also driven in a similar way. But she never saw problem with her home program. The only time she may say something is if she desperately wants to try skill x, "knows" she can do it, and coach won't let her.

I'd be trying to find out whether this is coming from her, or it's something she's heard. Ask her if she actually knows what skills she needs for hopes- get her to write a list. Try a training diary too, DD finds this invaluable as she can see 3 months ago she couldn't do a, b, or c, and now she's way past that and on to g, h, and i…
Also if she has the diary with her she can show coach and he can explain how she's progressing towards them- ours seem to do loads of drills, then one day they put it all together and hey presto! Loads of skills you never saw coming.

How did you approach it with the coach? Could he have taken it the wrong way, as a criticism of his coaching?

Thank you so much for the diary idea, it's excellent, and I'm sure will give her some concrete "proof" of her progress. She does know what she needs for Hopes because her teammate qualified and she knows what's in her routines. I am suspecting that she feels like she should be "keeping up" with this girl.

I, unfortunately, do not understand the requirements and cannot help her. I can only tell her that it feels like there is plenty of time.

Hoping to try again with coach and gymmie is writing a letter about her feelings. Communication is important to me. Plus, in the gym so many hours, she is at times with coaches more than parents. She is so young and there sooooo much, I need to have confidence in her relationship with her coaches.

 

[htimcj]

Stretch?

I am think yes.