MAG Question for MAG families

[l.c.o]

Hi!

I have what is maybe a silly or odd question. I have a 7 year old little guy. He's pretty small for his age but fairly strong. He's been in and out of classes starting at age 3 as big sis competes. Whenever the tot/boys classes aligned with DD's schedule, he took a class. He was in gymnastics class more often than not, and he is extremely active. He rarely sits still and I've been assured by his first grade teacher that... really... he is *that* kid that just can't sit still.

We pulled him from gymnastics at the end of summer because we'd gotten to the point where there really wasn't any more room to progress at DD's gym as far as rec goes. He was invited to do boys team, but I was a little nervous to have him do it. It's a tremendous commitment to have both kids on team, and the team boys practice on different nights than my DD does. We like our two evenings a week to just be a family (those likely won't last forever if DD keeps at it), and we'd have lost them. Plus, the team there is fledgling to say the least.

To add that, I felt like maybe we were pushing him and wondered if he did it just because we signed him up. He smiled and seemed to have fun during class, but he's generally just a happy guy. Boys coach said DS has a lot of natural talent, though he does lack some focus. He even had trouble sitting still/being patient at gymnastics practice.

So, we enrolled him in martial arts, hoping that it might "help" his focus issues, plus he says he really wants to be a ninja when he grows up. It's pretty much been a disaster. He's acting out more in school, and can't seem to respect his instructor in martial arts. My son is quite bright and gets upset when, say, the instructor says something incorrectly. He also sadly (proudly?) will even correct his instructor's grammar. In the middle of class, in front of parents. So, DS is getting discouraged in martial arts and I think that maybe it's just not a good fit, and says he really misses being in gymnastics.

I can't help but wonder if we just need something to wear him out more?

So, we took him a different club with a bigger/better boys program to check it out and have him skills tested. As boys are now in season, he'd definitely be starting with rec. DS was really in his element - smiles the whole time. Am I being ridiculous thinking about putting him back in gymnastics? Obviously, rec isn't a lifetime commitment, but I think the eventual goal for him might be boys team (though he changes his mind). Is it crazy to have the kids in separate gyms, especially when boys compete at the same time as girls optionals (DD is only a couple a years away from that). Am I putting the cart before the horse in worrying about that now? Should I worry about his ability to focus? Or, will a good, solid boys program be able to work with those sorts of issues? I mean, if coach wasn't looking and he was bored, he'd lap other kids on a circuit or quick try to bounce on the trampoline. I worry that maybe he has some respect issues. Will maybe him being in a separate gym that is "his" help him feel some pride/ownership, instead of just being "DD's little brother"? Either way, during the rec class (should we sign him up) we'll still have him do the martial arts, as we're still committed there... though he'd miss some martial arts classes as they're recommending a mixed levels gymnastics class because DS's skills are sort of all over the place (vault, floor and rings are much further "ahead" than the others).

Thanks for putting up with this post.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Your reasons for not having him in gymnastics actually seem less related to him than your reasons for putting him in gymnastics. Who cares if you started him there for convenience? He clearly loves it and missed it when he wasn't there--bring him back and let him have some fun

 

[l.c.o]

gymmomtoo - in thinking about it - I think you're right. We enrolled him for convenience, and pulled him for convenience. I think I was so worried about pushing him into big sister's sport that I didn't notice that he really did like it. I think it's probably past time that I see his gymnastics as separate. Intentionally choosing a different/better program for HIM might be the first step there. Thanks!

 

[skschlag]

I agree. He seems to have a love for the sport. I would be open with the gyms that you are at if you choose another gym for him. NOt sure how that would work, as most parents I have seen look for a gym that both kiddos can be at.

Keep us posted! I can't wait to hear how he is doing

 

[gracyomalley]

My boys are at a different gym than my DD, as they were happy to do just rec for years...and there is only one boys team within 150 miles! We didn't move her over when the boys did want to compete because she was already a Level 7 and doing well socially and gymnastically at her present gym. We have always emphasized the importance of her present friendships when discussing it, and really , that's such a big part that it makes sense. For her, it has also been the best place gymnastically, but really, she could have thrived either place. The coaches at both gyms have always been supportive of our choices (new HC for the girls at the boys gym used to coach at DD gym, knows her well and totally understands...to her credit!)

Boys on gym teams tend to be distractible, and are often "that kid" who can't hold still....the coaches know how to deal!

The balance of the 2 seperate booster clubs is even harder than the balance of the 2 meet schedules...by the way!

 

[Sasha]

Hi l.c.o, gymnastics is perfect for those active boys. And sounds like he really likes it. I have a DD and DS in gym, though fortunately it's the same gym. I would definitely consider different gyms if there was not a decent program in place for one of them at our current gym, though.

As you already know, gym progresses fast, and those evenings together become rare. But I know kids in advanced baseball or swimming who have few weeknights off, too, so maybe not so different. You have an active boy, so most likely his life will be filled with at least 1 active sport

My only additional comment to add to those already posted is that age 7 is still a rambunctious time for many boys (obviously), and some age-appropriate attention issues are probably expected by a good boys coach. He/she will have a method to keep them busy and deal with behavior slips. If your DS is one to make more mischief than average, he may experience some new 'strictness' if he joins team that he will have to adjust to. The coach should tell you (and him) exactly what is expected, and the consequences for misbehaving. Boys on our pre-team and team will have time-outs (where they sit out) or even be sent home for the day if the time out didn't work. There may be tears. There may be 'I hate gym. I hate the coach.' but then usually they are all smiles at the next class as they learn to adapt. So expect the expectations for behavior to be high/higher than rec. Coach should tolerate an adjustment period for new kiddos as they learn what's expected, which should hopefully help your DS focus, show the 'respect' you spoke of, and mature as a better listener. In all likelihood he will thrive in gym, so hope it all works out

 

[curlymop]

It sounds like he really wants/needs to go back to gymnastics, so I don't think it's crazy at all. I have three boys in gymnastics, and my only regret is that I didn't start it sooner with my oldest. They all love it. As for which gym, I don't know what I'd do in your situation. If you think he wants to progress to competing, I'd try to find the best gym for him (though that doesn't necessarily mean the bigger or more established team). If they do end up at the same gym, I wouldn't worry too much about him being overshadowed by his sister. Men's and women's gymnastics are so different.

Younger boys in general tend to have less ability to focus than girls at the same age, and any competent boys coach will understand that and know how to work around it. My son started on team last summer when he was only 5, and I was really worried about his ability to focus and follow directions. He did mess around a lot in the beginning (as did a couple of the other really young boys), but just in the past couple of months I've noticed I see a lot less of that and a lot more of him focusing on what he's supposed to be doing. Of course, that has also coincided with a huge improvement in his skills.

Good luck with whatever path you choose!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

let him eat cake! i mean gymnastics...

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

I have ds and dd at separate gyms, they started at the same gym initally, but then one moved to the gym that was the best fit for that child. I understand your reluctance to give up family nights together, but if your ds takes up soccer or baseball or hockey instead of gymnastics there is no guarantee that these will be on the same nights as dd's gym.

 

[profmom]

DS got into it because he was sort of jealous that his sister had this passion for this thing called gymnastics. He decided he wanted to be on team without any understanding of what that meant. Now he eats, breathes, and sleeps it and could not imagine his life without it. Wherever a boy ends up going, gymnastics can provide a great foundation.

 

[munchkin3]

If he likes it, them have him do it.....at some point you will have to make him go, when he isn't in the mood and that is ok too....Make him then.
Gymnastics is more than a sport, it is training for life. All the more power if he loves it. He may actually get farther than you think!

 

[iwannacoach]

There's a big difference between his being invited and him begging to go farther in the sport, which you haven't said is happening, so maybe there's nothing to do. I'd be a bit concerned over his need to correct people and being "right" when he's not. That's a pretty big social issue. One that will make it hard to make and keep friends, and it gets worse from there because he'll think he needs to try harder, and that's going to be an amplified version of everything he's presently doing.

Work on that before worrying about a sports team or activity.