Rude girls

[RennaDanGym]

UGH! I am really started to get annoyed with some of DD1's teamates. DD came home very fraustrated because of one girl. This is girl is always being a pain and goofing off. I don't even see why she is still on team.

Level 8's and level 9's workout togather. DD=level 9. Girl (I am gonna call her Jazmin)=level 8. Our gym does this "big sis lil sis" thing. So they always pair up a level 8 and 9, and they share a beam to work skills on. This level 8 has a huge issue with her back handspring. (And why again is she a level 8? )

Jazmin got two spotting blocks and put them on each side of the beam for her back handspring. After Jazmin did about 10, DD asked if she could have a turn. Jazmin said no. So DD waited about 5 more minutes, and asked again. Once more, Jazmin said no. Now by this time DD was getting a little fraustrated, she said "Why can't we just share it? Because I need to practice too." The girl basically said that my DD didn't understand.

I don't know how that made sense. But DD said "Well, can I please go now? I really would like to get some work done." With this Jazmine starts crying and goes to a coach, not the coach on beam but I different coach who really likes Jazmine. 10 minutes later Jazmin comes back still crying, and jumps up on the beam (even though DD was in the middle of doing a routine.)

5 minutes later the coach said it was time to switch events. So DD got about 10 minutes of beam. She is really fraustrated and feels like she isn't getting anything done as this girl is her "little sis." (She is always paired with her on beam and bars)

I am working on my DD with maybe being a little kinder with her words, but I feel like this girl is getting in the way of practice. She is holding whoever is paired with her back.

What would you do in this situation? I would love advice! Thank you so much in advance.

Renna

 

[Mag_7_Fan96]

Maybe you could voice your concerns to the coach but not in a way that makes it seem like she's annoying or completely at fault. Maybe you could tell them that you are worried because your daughter doesn't think she's getting enough practice time because the gymnast she's paired with has issue she's trying to overcome.

Also maybe your daughter could go to the coach for advice if this girl doesn't let her practice.

I hope this helps.

 

[gymcoach34]

I would definitely want to know this as a coach. There are so many snarky things that happen and the kids are so smart-they do it so the coaches cant see/hear. I would send the coach an email, explaining it the same way you said it here....then ask to meet briefly. I wouldnt go into the fact that you think the other girl is a pain (or that she has bhs issues and is a L8?), but that your DD isnt getting turns as a L9& is afraid to stand up to the girl-ask for the coaches help bc you need it! The coach should step in to help.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

absolutely the jazmin has got a problem going on. she had a break down.

ask the coach to pair her up with someone a bit more stable...and in nice language.

 

[coachmolly]

I think you could just say what you did here. Leave out anything potentially negative about the other girl, but just let the coaches know that your dd feels like she isn't getting enough turns sometimes and that is really bothers her. Don't try to place the blame on anyone (it doesn't sound like you are), just let them know what you are hearing from your DD and ask if they have noticed anything or if they could keep an eye out for any problems. Also let your DD know that it's okay to go to the coach with these problems, you are paying for the practice time and deserve to get your moneys worth!

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

Is this a common occurance? Jazmin hogging the equipment or coach or time? Or does this only happen once in a while, perhaps especially on beam while working tumbling? If Jazmin struggles a lot with back handsprings she may be desperate to work on them and desperate to make them. If she is getting a bit upset inside about her trouble with the skill, she may not communicate this to the coach or your DD since she is trying to keep her emotions in check - this fits perfectly with her crying later.

I'm speaking only from my own experience. When I have a lot of trouble with a skill, I get obstinate and only want to drill it over and over and over. When it still isn't working, I sometimes begin to get upset. When I get upset, I will not speak because I am trying to keep from crying or snapping at someone. However, it is perfectly possible that Jazmin is an equipment hog or selfish or simply immature. I think it's more likely that she is having a personal dilemma with this skill and this is why she acted inappropriately.

 

[cher062]

UGH! I am really started to get annoyed with some of DD1's teamates. DD came home very fraustrated because of one girl. This is girl is always being a pain and goofing off. I don't even see why she is still on team.

Level 8's and level 9's workout togather. DD=level 9. Girl (I am gonna call her Jazmin)=level 8. Our gym does this "big sis lil sis" thing. So they always pair up a level 8 and 9, and they share a beam to work skills on. This level 8 has a huge issue with her back handspring. (And why again is she a level 8? )

Jazmin got two spotting blocks and put them on each side of the beam for her back handspring. After Jazmin did about 10, DD asked if she could have a turn. Jazmin said no. So DD waited about 5 more minutes, and asked again. Once more, Jazmin said no. Now by this time DD was getting a little fraustrated, she said "Why can't we just share it? Because I need to practice too." The girl basically said that my DD didn't understand.

I don't know how that made sense. But DD said "Well, can I please go now? I really would like to get some work done." With this Jazmine starts crying and goes to a coach, not the coach on beam but I different coach who really likes Jazmine. 10 minutes later Jazmin comes back still crying, and jumps up on the beam (even though DD was in the middle of doing a routine.)

5 minutes later the coach said it was time to switch events. So DD got about 10 minutes of beam. She is really fraustrated and feels like she isn't getting anything done as this girl is her "little sis." (She is always paired with her on beam and bars)

I am working on my DD with maybe being a little kinder with her words, but I feel like this girl is getting in the way of practice. She is holding whoever is paired with her back.

What would you do in this situation? I would love advice! Thank you so much in advance.

Renna

I would have a meeting with the coach and request that DD and this girl not be paired up. Let them know your concerns so if they aren't aware of the issue they are now. Talk to your DD and tell her to be more assertive. If its her turn and this girl is paired up with her and the girl won't get down the first time that is when it's time to go to the coach. Make a suggestion to the coaches that the teams use stopwatches and each girl gets a certain amount of time then they switch its hard for a coach or gymnast to argue with at timer when its times up.

 

[gymdog]

Seems kind of like an odd way to structure practice to me. I don't know. I would definitely alert the coaches. I suppose pairing the girls up was supposed to be efficient but for things like the acro with so many working at different paces personally I think it is more efficient to have designated stations (i.e. low beam, fat beam, mats stacked up, high beam) then have them complete the assignments they need to do where they can. But either way the coaches should know. Also I would recommend if it happens again, your daughter asks to go take turn with a more reasonable pair that is moving faster. Would she get in trouble or something? Since it doesn't sound like the coaches noticed the first situation, it doesn't seem like they would care about that, or maybe I'm wrong. But I would say just go find another beam or station. Three to a beam if they're moving fast enough and can do something on the side is not too much to me.

 

[meinlee]

I am appalled by the indiscretion of the coaching staff in that gym. Two or more girls working on the same beam sharing time is something that the coaches in any gym would need to guard and structure with careful precision.

Negligent coaching is the problem here. The question should not be how we are going to get the coaching staff to talk Jazmin into allowing your DD to get a proper work out.

That said, in my hands Renna your DD would not have gotten out of doing what she was supposed to do on beam that day. As a coach I would make sure I got everything out of your DD that I could. It would not have been left up to Jazmin to decide when and for how long your DD works out. Letting the team girls decide among themselves what they are doing is downright lunacy and negligence. A situation such as you described takes the word coach right out of coaching.

That said, I don't want parents nor allow parents to have any say in how I structure the protocol in my gym. As a professional I expect to be respected for my expertise. If I am competent then situations like teammates hogging equipment won't happen because it can't. Yet I sympathize with your situation and would not be lax to listen to reason if a parent had a valid concern that may improve the protocol for all the girls in the gym. The fact that this happens at all in your DD's gym is reprehensible and not easily repaired if those in charge condone it in the first place. If you were to ask the powers that be to change the very nature and personality of their coaching methods then I doubt you would be able to uproot the foundation upon which their system is based.

That said, it is sad that you are subjected to placating the staff so that perhaps they will be nice and perhaps treat your DD with a tinge of fairness. My advise to you is that you follow the advice in this thread if you want your DD's membership to continue. Otherwise its time to look for another gym that quite frankly, cares.

That said, I'm not so fragile and sentimental that anyone should feel they have to send me an email or write a letter or send me a text message on my cell phone because they think I'm going to fall apart. No, approach me in a direct manner and tell it like it is. I can handle it and likely to give an answer on the spot. If you have a valid point, I'm going to do something about it and appreciate you for it. But if I feel you are meddling where you don't belong then you will see me stand my ground, take it or leave it. In my gym if your DD had only been on beam for ten minutes, I would have been aware of it and had a purpose behind it and your DD would have been the first to be privy.

That said, I feel for you and apologize on behalf our industry and wish I could do something about it. If you trust me and feel brave enough please feel free to send me a private message with your gym's phone number and I will bring this issue to the forefront of our conversation with the owner of that facility.

Even more, I recommend that the coaches in this forum form a council just for this purpose. To form a consensus and make calls to gyms in and out of the country in order to address pertinent issues.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

If you trust me and feel brave enough please feel free to send me a private message with your gym's phone number and I will bring this issue to the forefront of our conversation with the owner of that facility.

I do not think this would be at all appropriate. I recommend that nobody take this offer, and meinlee, I think it would be unwise to make any more such offers.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

best to work out issues between the parents and the coaches from the parents and the coaches. and then the owner if all else fails. outside intervention would not be advised or fruitful. all gyms are not created equal nor are all gyms perfect.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Comment was out of line and all evidence points to meinlee being an alternate account used by stretchsportsguy to evade his ban.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

wow! he's like a mosquito that you keep brushing off your arm and keeps coming back!

 

[Linsul]

IP ban! Wow, a whole post dedicated to methodology and meddling, closed out with an offer to meddle. It made my cat caterwaul. Only because I'm not in Canada. If there's one thing SSG taught us, it's that there's no cats in Canada.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

No matter how friendly a gym is, it is sometimes unrealistic to expect highly competitive teenaged girls (who may not like one another personally) to share precious time on equipment without some guidelines. Since your daughter is the “big sisterâ€￾ she should make/enforce the rules.

If they know how long they have on the beam rotation, I’d suggest splitting it into equal parts (for example, one girl gets 15 minutes and then the next does). During the time they aren’t on the equipment, they can provide feedback/support to the other girl or they can just practice skills in a line on the mats.

After your allotted time, you are off the beam, no matter how frustrating it is.

This is a good experience for your daughter to learn to diffuse a difficult situation by talking to someone she doesn’t like and offering a solution. I wish I had known how to do that when I was in High School.

 

[RennaDanGym]

I went and talked with the coach last night at practice. (She is a VERY sweet coach, but very new, we have had her about 1 month) She said that she has noticed that Jazmin is hogging time, and that all around she isn't working very hard/having a good attitude.

Karen (the coach) is having a talk with Jazmin this afternoon. I am hoping this will work everything out. DD was also matched with a new sis. Except now DD is the little sis. She got paired with a level 10! DD was sooooo excited. Dani is a part time coach and super nice. Right now Dani is teaching DD how to do Jaeger drills into the pit.

Thank you everyone for your advice!

 

[Blazing15]

So glad to hear that the coach is going to talk to the other girl and so glad to hear that your daughter got paired with a level 10 and is very happy. That's awesome.

 

[gymluvr33]

I'm so glad that the coach was open to what you said and that everything worked out all right

 

[Mag_7_Fan96]

I'm glad everything is working out. I hope she has fun being paired with a level 10.