Stress

[fishchimes]

I often feel nervous and sick before practice starts. It usually goes away during stretching, but we recently started a new warm up that's a lot more tiring. It involves hollow holds, scales, tick tocks etc. I know it's for the best, and I'm glad we started it, but sometimes I'm scared I won't be able to do it. I've only been on the team for a couple of months and in my rec classes we hardly did any conditioning.

I don't want to ask if I can do a little less then everyone else because I don't want the other girls to feel resentful, and people already stare at me enough because of my height and being older then the other members of the team. But I don't want to have to cheat or anything, because even though our coach is nice, she's very observant and I don't want to be called out for cheating. :rottentomato:

During the actual gymnastics, I often feel nervous or pressured because I have a very weird, very annoying teammate who seems to like to bother me about random things and try to mess with my head (for example, saying the coach had told me to do something, when she really hadn't). I have anxiety about my teammates in general since I don't know them very well (aside from the weird one, they're all quite nice, it's just that I feel embarrassed when I can't do something as well as they do).

At the end of practice, I have a lot of trouble with conditioning. I'm not very strong, and I'm aware of that. We do suicides and even though I'm fast, it takes a long time for me to reach down and touch the lines, so I end up behind, and if we don't make finish in a set amount of time we have to do it over. I almost started crying a little bit one time when we did them, not because it hurt, but because I was scared of not being able to finish them. I have never actually cried at practice for any reason and I would like to keep it that way. Also, usually we do two sets 10 chinups or leg lifts, but I often can't do 10 of either and then I don't know what do or say so I just do less than I'm supposed to and feel bad about it later. :ashamed:

I don't know what to do about this; I know I have to get used to tough conditioning, but it's very stressful to be asked to do 50 of something you can barely do 20 of, and to know that it will probably happen again the next time you go to practice. I love gymnastics but the anxiety is making me dread practice. Does anyone have any advice??

 

[gymgramma]

relax...take a deep breath and "keep on, keeping on". It sounds like you are new to the team and it will take time for your body to adjust to the greater demands on it. As long as you are honestly doing your best, things will be OK. Just watch in a few weeks you will be doing more reps of each exercise and it will be easier! These things just take time

 

[cher062]

relax...take a deep breath and "keep on, keeping on". It sounds like you are new to the team and it will take time for your body to adjust to the greater demands on it. As long as you are honestly doing your best, things will be OK. Just watch in a few weeks you will be doing more reps of each exercise and it will be easier! These things just take time

I agree. Your not the only bulb in the box going through these feelings. I think every gymnast on a team feels this way. I remember when my DD couldn't do the rope climb everyone else could but she couldn't then one day she did it and now she is the fastest one on the team to go up and down 17 sec!! The skills will come when YOUR body is ready and not before. Everyone is different some will get things sooner some will get things later. Some will be great at some skills and some great at others. You haven't been on a team that long you will see progress sooner than you thing just give it time. And that nervous feeling actually is a good thing. It keeps you sharp.

 

[gymdog]

I can relate to what sounds like more than normal anxiety over everyday events and I would suggest that you talk to someone about it. How are things going in school?

At the very least you should speak to your parents and coaches about how you're feeling. You don't necessarily need to ask for accomodations, but you should get reassurance. Nothing bad is going to happen, of course, but I suspect that you already know that on most levels and it doesn't stop the feelings.

While I agree that everyone struggles with one thing or another, I don't think that it is inevitable that you feel this way over a warmup, and I certainly don't mean that in a bad way. I mean that if you can reach out for help you won't have to carry this burden. I have struggled with fairly serious psychological issues. But you don't have to live like this. Sometimes you get so used to dreading everything that you don't even realize how it feels to just live without that fog. It sounds like the stress is impacting your daily life and possibly might keep you from doing something you love, so you should speak up to someone you trust. You can write it down in a letter or email if that makes it easier. There have been many times in my life that I haven't been brave enough to talk about how I felt, but I sometimes regret how much time I've wasted.

 

[fishchimes]

I can relate to what sounds like more than normal anxiety over everyday events and I would suggest that you talk to someone about it. How are things going in school?

Well, I have always been homeschooled, but I'm starting high school next year in all honors classes except for math (because I didn't take the test or something). But I never really thought of that as something that made me feel anxious because I was pretty excited about it idk though

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

I used to have this every day before practice. I struggled (still do) with keeping my emotions in check and I would often cry last year when I felt I was not performing up to my/the coach's expectations because of frustration and a sort of odd fear. Then in addition to worrying about scary skills and my performance I would worry about whether I would have another breakdown. However though sometimes the before-practice anxiety was very intense I felt fine during practice unless I got upset.

As for the strength training - the coach knows you haven't been at this as long as the other girls, so she/he'd understand if you took a little longer to finish than the others. By the way, if you're asked to do 2x10 leg lifts, or whatever, you can do as many leg lifts as you can, then stop and finish the set, or ask for a coach's assistance.

 

[Aussie_coach]

The way you feel is very normal for someone who is fairly new to team, it will take a while for you too feel comfortable, but one you have been doing team for a year or so I bet these anxieties will have greatly improved.

Your coach knows that you haven't been on the team as long as others and they know that it will take you a while to build your strength up to the point where everyone who has been on the team for longer is at. Your coach will be able to tell if you are not finishing because you are trying your best but just not quite strong enough and they wont treat it the same as someone just being lazy.

If you want to get faster stronger why not design a conditioning program to do at home thats based on what you do at gym, you could even ask your coach to design one for you. If you did a little conditioning every day then before you know it you won't just be as strong as the other girls, you will be stronger.

Understand that on teams the social environment is different to a normal class. For starters you spend a lot more time with your team mates. Teams often grow very close, so its normal to feel a little uncomfortable. In time you will be closer with the others in the team too. Just smile and be yourself and remember you are there for the gymnastics not to be liked or disliked. It doesn't matter what these other girls think, only what you and your coach think.

If you are struggling to complete certain exercises just tell your coach, they should be able to modify it for you. Really coaches are people to and they do understand that your still quite new.

 

[Chalky]

As a coach I would suggest this:

Speak to your coach before practice. Explain that you love being on team, but you are struggling with conditioning etc. Make a point that you WANT to do it right and not cheat. ASK for help. Maybe you can agree to split the leg lifts into sets of 5, not 10, or maybe coach can help you. As long as I know a kid is not cheating, and is really doing their best, I have no problem making accomodations.

Another thing that might help your confidence is to see how many chins or leg-lifts you can do right now and write it down on your calendar. Once a week (preferably after a rest day - not when you're tired), re-test yourself and see the improvement. But...... please understand, pull-ups, chins and leg-lifts are HARD conditioning exercises, and progress will be slower than for push-ups or sit-ups. If you need exercises that will help with your bar-conditioning PLMK, I'll be glad to help.

Another thing that may help your general anxiety is a book called "Feel the Fear and Do it anyway". It's really written for adults, but you sound pretty mature, so maybe it may benefit you. Please don't be afraid to discuss your anxiety with a trusted adult. Some anxiety is normal, but too much can cripple your life, and there IS help out there. HTH

 

[fishchimes]

Then in addition to worrying about scary skills and my performance I would worry about whether I would have another breakdown. However though sometimes the before-practice anxiety was very intense I felt fine during practice unless I got upset.

Exactly what happens to me xD

If you need exercises that will help with your bar-conditioning PLMK, I'll be glad to help.

That would be awesome ^^

 

[fearundercontrol]

A lot of sound advice has been given. I agree, definitely talk with your coach. She may have ideas to help you with the anxiety and to help you build up your strength and endurance. Definitely work on conditioning at home. When doing a conditioning routine at home, don't force yourself to do more than you are capable of. If you start struggling at eight but can muscle out ten, then ten is a good number. But if you're struggling to get off the floor after two, then work on getting to two and then work up to five, then eight, then ten. Build up slowly. You don't want to hurt yourself by pushing your body beyond its limitations. Make sure you are eating enough to keep your body fueled for the amount of activity you are doing. Eat well, get good sleep, and make sure you are getting enough fluids. Those all will help your performance.

As far as the anxiety and frustration goes, I can definitely understand where you are coming from. I didn't start gymnastics until I was 11, so I was much taller than all the other kids in my class, and a whole lot less athletic. I did it that year, the following year, and then I went a year without doing it, and then did another year. Even though by my second year I had gotten better, I was still far behind everyone else in the class, and then when I returned in ninth grade after missing a year, I had lost a lot of the progress I made. I hated being bigger than all the other girls, and I hated that I couldn't do a lot of the things they could do and wasn't as strong as them. Sometimes this helped me to work harder, but sometimes it just created self-loathing. And that is not helpful. Even now, having returned to gymnastics at 23, doing only individual sessions, I still sometimes sense that same frustration of not being as good as I think I should be, sometimes embarrassed in front of my coach (who is very patient and encouraging) when I can't execute a simple cartwheel properly or do different exercises she wants me to try. But the thing is, it is what it is. I have a lot of odds/obstacles working against me. I can't change my height. I can't change the fact that I didn't start gymnastics until sixth grade, that I skipped a year, that I stopped after ninth grade, that it was nine years, more or less, before I started again. I'm not a natural athlete. I was sick with an eating disorder for a number of years. I can't change any of that stuff. But there are things I can change, but they will require work and patience. The eating disorder has not gone away--I can't change the past, but I can continue to fight it, work on the issues and make good choices and eat right. I also suffer from anxiety. I can't necessarily make that go away, but I can help alleviate it by taking my meds, doing relaxation exercises and positive self-talk, and doing what I know helps. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself. That is something I must work hard to change. Put up affirmations on my mirror, around my room, etc. Giving myself a "pat on the back" when I make progress or do well at something. Positive self-talk. Practice. Try for success, not perfection.
For you, I strongly advise working on positive self-talk (it may seem silly, but do it anyways...humor me) and doing deep breathing exercises (google "square breathing"). Remind yourself that you are not the other girls on your team--you are you, and you perform to the best of your ability and are working hard to make progress. Don't beat yourself up over mistakes or apparent shortcomings. Again, try for success, not perfection. This other teammate of yours is being rather immature. Ignoring her may not make her stop, but remind yourself that she is being a bully and you don't need to give what she says and credence. If stretching is something that calms you, try stretching after you do conditioning as well--that might help bring your anxiety down. When you get anxious thoughts during a meet, try imagining physically taking those thoughts and putting them in a box and closing up the box and moving it to the side. Try to consciously put the thoughts aside and replace them with positive thoughts. (Don't focus on not being anxious, though--if you focus on that, you will just continue to be anxious--focus on being relaxed.) Breathing exercises are something you can do anywhere. If you start "freaking out" in the middle of a routine, tell yourself you can think those thoughts later; right now, you are going to focus on the task at hand. And just do it--don't try to do it perfectly. Just do the best you can.

 

[fearundercontrol]

Well, I have always been homeschooled, but I'm starting high school next year in all honors classes except for math (because I didn't take the test or something). But I never really thought of that as something that made me feel anxious because I was pretty excited about it idk though

That may not be the whole reason for your anxiety in the gym, but it may contribute. Often we can be subconsciously anxious about something, and it is possible to be excited and anxious at the same time. Don't overanalyze it though.

 

[NYgymfan]

A little bit of anxiety is okay, and perfectly normal. You aren't going to be perfect at gym and crazy strong when you just start. But it will get easier over time.

You seem to be a little more anxious than most people though. Has this been something recent for you or is this something you've dealt with for a long time, in other situations? I agree with what others have said about talking to an adult that you trust, especially if anxiety is something you've struggled with for a long time. If that trusted adult tells you you'll "get over it" or you'll "snap out of it", find another trusted adult and talk to them about it. A lot of times fear/anxiety issues are not something you can just get over or snap out of, and a lot of people, unfortunately, do not understand that.

I have some major anxiety issues, and it basically controlled my life until I spoke up about it. Simple situations that were very easy for other people to deal with were nearly impossible for me. Instead of a little anxiety that would make me nervous while doing something, there would be so much anxiety at the beginning that I would be too fearful to even start.

My problem was that my parents didn't recognize that it was problematic, and instead blamed me all along (that just made it worse). I confided in a teacher about it and she helped encourage me to get checked out by a doctor. I did, and when the doctor told my parents, my mom sort of realized that it was something I couldn't really control on my own, but my dad is still in denial to this very day. After starting to take medicine for it and making some lifestyle changes, I've gotten a lot better. I feel like I can function like a normal person now, and I never really realized just how bad it was before until I got better.

So I guess my advice is to talk to someone about it, hopefully eventually someone who has professional experience dealing with this kinda stuff (counselor or doctor). They are the only ones who can really figure out exactly why you are so anxious. Its a hard first step, but its one I'm really glad I took.