Parents Thinking of switching gyms - advice please :)

[duyetanh]

Truly the most important thing is that your kid is happy. And it sounds like she is! Thanks for the update, and glad to hear all is well.

 

[GymAuntie]

I think it's important to keep in mind that not every family is out to make a professional or college athlete out of their child. Some just want their kids in the sport to have fun and that's ok. It sounds like you want more for your niece and that's wonderful but keep in mind with the very small percentage of gymnasts that ever make it to Level 10, much less college or elite, that is not always something that is a concern of a parent with a young gymnast just starting out. Some families don't want the cost or time commitment of JO, and choose the Xcel program instead. There's nothing wrong with that path IMO. I'm assuming since you are quick to make judgments on the Xcel program that you must have experience with that program and have personally seen Xcel gymnasts with bad form on a regular basis, but let me assure you that is not always the case. My dd competes Xcel and she certainly doesn't have bad form or bad habits and she will have the opportunity to compete optionals one day if she wishes b/c her gym uses Xcel instead of compulsories like the closer to home gym that OP is considering (as @raenndrops pointed out).

To the OP you have a tough decision and I think it will come down to what works best for you and your family, you could always give the closer to home gym a trial run and see how you like it if you think that you would be welcomed back at the other gym if it doesn't work out.

I get that every family has different goals but the OP originally chose the more competitive gym over the closer gym for a reason and perhaps that's because she did want the best training thinking it could go somewhere.

And I think you should remember that not everyone who puts their child in the competitive program is trying to make a professional athlete out of the kid. My niece has discovered swimming this summer and that may end up being her sport. So I'm not speaking as a relative of the next Shannon Miller. I'm speaking as someone who wants to give a child the best possible foundation so when she's old enough to make the choice she will have the tools to go that route if she pleases. You don't get do overs in gymnastics so one bad decision for a 6 year old can alter her course in the sport.

That's why I asked the OP if she has the wherewithal to stay the course if that's the route her daughter wants to take. If not then she should move the daughter to a gym that she finds more manageable for her life. If her daughter stays at the elite gym then there's a very good chance she will want to pursue that path and the child will not realize that dream if the parent is not willing or able to put in the time. Why put a child through that if you know now that it's not in the cards?

ETA it appears that the OP did just that and decided JO wasn't right for her family. I'm sure her daughter will be very happy and have a life outside the sport as well. The JO track can change for any gymnast at any time and for many reasons. Our goal with my family is to give her the tools she will need to see it through if that's what she wants to do. And if not JO will teach her lessons that will be valid in other paths of her life.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

I get that every family has different goals but the OP originally chose the more competitive gym over the closer gym for a reason and perhaps that's because she did want the best training thinking it could go somewhere.

And I think you should remember that not everyone who puts their child in the competitive program is trying to make a professional athlete out of the kid. My niece has discovered swimming this summer and that may end up being her sport. So I'm not speaking as a relative of the next Shannon Miller. I'm speaking as someone who wants to give a child the best possible foundation so when she's old enough to make the choice she will have the tools to go that route if she pleases. You don't get do overs in gymnastics so one bad decision for a 6 year old can alter her course in the sport.

That's why I asked the OP if she has the wherewithal to stay the course if that's the route her daughter wants to take. If not then she should move the daughter to a gym that she finds more manageable for her life. If her daughter stays at the elite gym then there's a very good chance she will want to pursue that path and the child will not realize that dream if the parent is not willing or able to put in the time. Why put a child through that if you know now that it's not in the cards?

ETA it appears that the OP did just that and decided JO wasn't right for her family. I'm sure her daughter will be very happy and have a life outside the sport as well. The JO track can change for any gymnast at any time and for many reasons. Our goal with my family is to give her the tools she will need to see it through if that's what she wants to do. And if not JO will teach her lessons that will be valid in other paths of her life.

Point taken. I would go so far as to say that every gymnast regardless of the stream they are competing in or even if they are just in it at the rec level for fun is learning lessons that will be valid in any life path they take. I apologize if I made the wrong assumption that you were looking at your niece being a pro or college athlete, since you specifically referenced college coaches not looking at Xcel girls, I took that to mean that college sports for your niece was something that would be important to your family. I will try to refrain from making blanket statements like that from now on. But please remember making blanket statements about Xcel athletes saying they have bad form, etc can also be taken offensively to others. I'm not sure that I agree that making one bad decision for a 6 year old gymnast would alter her course in the sport, there have been many talented athletes that were either only doing rec or not in gymnastics at all at age 6 that have went on to be successful. Sometimes less wear and tear on their bodies at such an early age (from training intensely with high hours at ages 5-6) can keep them in the sport longer. There are varying opinions on what success is, to me as long as my dd is at a gym that makes her happy, doing a sport she loves and competing at a level that is appropriate for her, that's success in my book.

I'm glad the OP was able to find a gym that her dd loves but that also works for their family.

 

[GymAuntie]

Just to clarify I was not saying every athlete in Xcel has bad form. I have been told however by plenty of people on this board and several club coaches that JO focuses more on form and Xcel more on skills. Xcel doesn't spend as much time making sure your toes are pointed just right and such. Again this is what I've been told repeatedly. However I am correct in that no college gymnast has ever gone through Xcel only and received a scholarship at least for Division 1 and to my knowledge 2.

As for whether or not it is important for my niece to be a college athlete, no it's not. However we don't want her coming to us at 12 and saying "You know I could have gone to Stanford if you'd put me in this gym instead of this one." So yes if you think that might be the path the child wants to walk, then every decision is important. I believe in preparing for multiple outcomes and the fun is seeing how it all plays out. But the preparation involves making the right choices be it school, gym, music teacher, swim coach or whatever because you can't undo it later.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

@GymAuntie I PMed you in response rather than continue to hijack OP's thread.

 

[Tuppy]

Thanks for the update. Definitely understand and respect your choice, and understand that family goals need to factor in properly. Very happy that the other choice did work out!

Hello everyone - I see that this thread picked back up again. I am very thankful for all the points of view that everyone has given. I found it helpful to look at all sides of a decision. My DD, husband, and I all had a few discussions and decided on gym #2. It was the best choice for our daughter and our family at this time. She has been practicing for a few weeks, and I think that the environment is perfect for her, her goals, and her personality.

I do think it's so helpful for everyone with kids in the sport to understand all the options and what your choices mean further down the road. For our family, being on the JO track at the other gym, looking at so many hours and days per week in the next few years was not what we wanted. That's not to say that isn't the right path for others. Each child and family is different. I was glad to have the knowledge of what we were committing to, thanks to these message boards, before getting into something that would not work for our family long term.

Thanks for the great discussion!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

You don't get do overs in gymnastics so one bad decision for a 6 year old can alter her course in the sport.
.

I think this is important to the thread and many parents of young gymmies may be just reading.

Please don't imply that one decision when a kid is 5 or 6 can end a child's chance of being a successful gymmie. Really it is a sport for young ladies and the career path is short. But hey have a bit longer 6 to declare it over.

ETA it appears that the OP did just that and decided JO wasn't right for her family. /

.

The right path for now

 

[GymAuntie]

I think it depends on your aspirations in the sport. If you have a little one who wants to shoot for the moon (i.e. the Olympics) then yes walking away from a gym with an elite path can break her chances, especially if it is the only such gym in the area. All 5 members of the 2012 team went through TOPS which to my knowledge is not available to Xcel athletes. What incentive does that gym have to take back a kid who already quit on them once when they have 12 kids lined up who haven't quit before? Now if OP were I'm Dallas or Orange County or another gymnastics hot bed (and there are very few) then she might have a chance to go back later to another elite gym. This is why I say a choice at 6 COULD derail her. On the flipside had OP started at the Xcel gym and tried to move later, that might be more feasible. It's a lot harder to go back because you're basically begging for a second chance which is not always granted.

Now obviously if her DD just wants to have fun and do her best without doing anything with it after high school then no it won't make or break her to move backwards. It all depends completely on the family and the child's goals.

Some people seem to take everything I say here so personally and you should not. Everything is situatuibal and unless you're the OP whose thread I'm responding to then nothing is about you. In the long run I could be right or you could. But if I'm the in demand elite gym owner, I'm not too likely to offer a second chance to a girl who quit on me once when I can give the same spot to someone who's never quit on me. That's the bottom line. It's honestly neither here nor there because OP made her decision and did quit the elite gym. She may or may not try to go back one day but if she does she should not be surprised if she's told no. So unless she has a back up then yes indeed the decision she made now could affect her daughter's future. Sorry that the truth hurts.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

What incentive not to take a 6 year old back...... Um they are babies, you don't close doors on talented babies.

A proven quitter at 6, freaking really. 6 yr olds and their families don't always yet know what they want. That is not quitting, that is taking time to make an informed decision to committ.

Regarding Xcel it's a new path, the 2012 team started 8 yrs or so before that, there was no official Xcel. Many a strong gym use Xcel to by pass compulsories and the kids just enter JO at a higher level. Really, stop. Not all Xcel paths are equal. Do not assume Xcel is a fluff, non serious path. It is very much gym/area dependent.

 

[GymAuntie]

What you mean all this is situational???? Isn't that just exactly why I said??? Seriously I'm through with the likes of you who twists what I say to make it wrong.

And yes a gym owner has every right to refuse return even to a baby (which amy 6 year old will tell you she is not). That owner could say the parents don't have the drive he needs them to have (which may be accurate) and justify it that way. It's not always the kid being told no. Many gyms do draw a hard line about no returns but the only way we will know is if OP ever decides to try. For the child's sake (if that's what she wants), then I hope I'm proven wrong. But I'm not one to sugarcoat what MIGHT happen because by stepping backwards what you're saying is you can't handle the heat so you need to be somewhere easier. There's no shame in it, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with the Xcel path. It's just not likely to get you as far as you may want to get in this sport.

Now I'm so done with this and with you. It's simply not worth arguing over.

 

[duyetanh]

Any gym that would refuse a 6 year old I would not think much of, just my humble opinion....especially since many gyms do not start competing until level 4 and you have to be 7 to do so...while those gyms may exist, it seems they are not in the majority...and sure glad my kid's gym didn't refuse my kid at a young age with her God awful form and skills....because she is persevering. And proving all the doubters and the haters (of which there were several, sadly, and neither the present coaches nor myself understand their motives) wrong. She aims to win the race, so to speak, at her pace and with the help of her amazing coaches. And while she will definitely struggle from time to time, she is making more progress than anyone, with the exception of herself, thought possible.

And yes, once gymnasts get older, if they arent in an xcel peogram that feeds into JO, it does get harder to re-enter the JO program. But if the glass is half full and the motto is nothing is impossible, it can happen. One of my favorite success stories on this forum is MILgymFAM's child, who is an adolescent who does gym in a very competitive, serious city...and went from xcel to level 6, and then switched gyms to find a better program for their family, and the child is now at level 7, and is doing so well, that whether the mom thinks this or not, I am ready to bet her that her child will compete in January!! There is always a gym out there if a child wants to return to J.O....it just might not be the gym next door. If the child's desire is there, and the parents support their desire, I truly believe it will happen. Off to put away my soap now....

 

[GymAuntie]

I said I was done but I will chime in on one thing the previous posted said. The child in the op is 6 now. So she would be older when she tries to return. And my statement was there is no guarantee she will be able to go back not that she won't be able to. Only the gym can decide that and she has quit on them once. If they are a high demand gym then they could choose to take a different child instead. You may not like it but it's their prerogative. There's a big difference between turning away a talented gymnast who's never competed with them and one that quit because they needed something easier. The latter is less likely to get a spot over the former in my opinion and in my observation of other competitive sports teams.

 

[Mish]

Just a side note; I would bet my last dollar that the most talented 6 y.o. gymnast in this country right now, whomever that may be, will not be in the Olympics when she is of that age. There are just too many variables to name. I also bet that each of our children has said that they want to go to the Olympics at one point. Hopefully all of our children will find the right path for them, and get as much as they want out of this crazy sport.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Mine has never had a desire to go to the Olympics.

 

[gymdog]

All 5 members of the 2012 team went through TOPS which to my knowledge is not available to Xcel athletes.

You obviously haven't heard of OSEGA granted, it's not a conventional choice. Actually Megan Skaggs gym might do this too.

Anyway I find your contributions to this thread bizarre. Most likely this child isn't going to be elite either way so if they don't want to do the hours, they made the right choice. I think it's fine and somewhat true to point out that it is harder to switch from Xcel to JO than vice versa, but if this child is truly a level 10 hopeful (because I'm not even going to discuss elite for a 6 year old level 3) then she has more time. Gabby Douglas did level 4 (equivalent of today's level 3) at 8. And then moved to level 7 at 9. Before that she had done some kind of cheer tumbling and rec classes but nothing serious. She did do TOPs after joining Excalibur. Laney Madsen switched from cheer/acro to gymnastics at an even later age (11-12?) and made level 10. I know a kid in my state that moved from an Xcel only gym to a powerhouse optional program and now is winning Jr A level 8 meets and moving to 9. Sure, it's not usual, but neither is phenomenal talent like theirs. If they do have the talent then the door isn't closed. Most likely they have 2-3 years before they would need to decide for certain and she could still make level 10 if she has both the desire, mentality, and ability.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

@gymdog Osega is about 45 minutes from us. We compete with their girls a lot. They have some very talented young gymnasts. I believe their girls go from platinum to L7 most of the time. Seems like a great gym!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

What gym dog said

 

[gymdog]

@gymdog Osega is about 45 minutes from us. We compete with their girls a lot. They have some very talented young gymnasts. I believe their girls go from platinum to L7 most of the time. Seems like a great gym!

Yes and they also do TOPs. Like I said not conventional but there's nothing that doesn't allow it. TOPs is totally and completely separate from everything else. You could compete any level or no level at all and do TOPs.

 

[GymAuntie]

You obviously haven't heard of OSEGA granted, it's not a conventional choice. Actually Megan Skaggs gym might do this too.

Anyway I find your contributions to this thread bizarre. Most likely this child isn't going to be elite either way so if they don't want to do the hours, they made the right choice. I think it's fine and somewhat true to point out that it is harder to switch from Xcel to JO than vice versa, but if this child is truly a level 10 hopeful (because I'm not even going to discuss elite for a 6 year old level 3) then she has more time. Gabby Douglas did level 4 (equivalent of today's level 3) at 8. And then moved to level 7 at 9. Before that she had done some kind of cheer tumbling and rec classes but nothing serious. She did do TOPs after joining Excalibur. Laney Madsen switched from cheer/acro to gymnastics at an even later age (11-12?) and made level 10. I know a kid in my state that moved from an Xcel only gym to a powerhouse optional program and now is winning Jr A level 8 meets and moving to 9. Sure, it's not usual, but neither is phenomenal talent like theirs. If they do have the talent then the door isn't closed. Most likely they have 2-3 years before they would need to decide for certain and she could still make level 10 if she has both the desire, mentality, and ability.

Hmm I don't recall asking for your opinion about what I post. My comments were a point of view for the OP to consider. If you leave a top gym, you do run the risk of not being able to go back. And IF that is the only top gym in your area then yes you can alter her success. It's as simple as that. Now I'd kinkly ask you to refrain from addressing my comments any further because they weren't made for you. I'm not saying she can't go back to optionals at another gym, but coaches don't like quitters. I've spent enough time around multiple sports to know that. My comments were simply directed about being able to return to her big time gym that she left should she choose to change her course in the future.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

No gym will turn away the kind of kid that is freakishly talented enough to make level 10/elite, unless the parent trash talked the gym when departing. Being at a strong gym at a young age is more important for an average gymnast who is pushing their physical capabilities to even get close to level ten standard.