Gymmonkeymomma
Proud Parent
Well, I guess I knew this day would come. My oldest has decided to quit gymnastics. A couple of weeks ago, HC decided it was time to have everyone "step up their game". No more lollygagging. Now this gym has been known for having a relaxed atmosphere with focus on personal goals rather than individual or team scores/placement. He pulled me aside the other night and told me that I should expect K to complain about him (which she already had) because he has really been tough on her and pushing her more to get skills that he knows she is capable of doing.
Now, you take a kid for whom most things come easy - school, sports, etc. and you MAKE her try things that are hard and chew her out constantly for not getting it, or not wanting it, or whatever, and what does that spell, diaster!! I Two nights ago I watched DD "hide" in a corner near the strap bar while the rest of the L8s were already starting conditioning. HC wanted her to do more giants. I could tell by the body language it was not going well. I told my friend about HC's plans and said this is going to break her. Sure enough, she stormed out of the gym crying. On the way home she told me she hated gymnastics (never said this before) and wants to quit. I told her that she does not hate gymnastics, she is just upset with HC and emotional, and you cannot make choices until you calm down. I explained that she is not used to this type of coaching but it is the way it should be, you do what you're told not what you feel like doing.
Background - K has been on team since age 7 and watched girls before her refuse to do giants, refuse to front tumble, refuse to do an event at a meet. He holds some girls to different standards, DD being one of them. She does not like that kind of pressure. Last wk one of the other L8's decided to quit and this is one of the girls who has been with my DD on the team since the beginning. Another girl is also planning to leave in Nov. Morale is very bad among the optional gymnasts and I think this more than anything else is causing DD to question herself.
She cried on and off for most of the night. She insisted that things are too hard and she has had enough of being "yelled at by everyone" and is not going to do "it" (gym) anymore. I told her that she needs to give this a chance, and she should at least prove to herself if no one else, what skills she has and how good she is.
I spent most of the next day very upset and talked to the Program Director about it. She asked whether HC had explained to K his reasoning for pushing her and I said of course not, he never does. So she said she would talk to him and tell him he should talk to her about the situation. In the meantime, I decided that I cannot push her if she doesn't want to be pushed. This is something she has to want, no matter how big of a mistake I think she is making by quitting. I decided to let it be her decision but not an immediate one. I told K that I would not enter her in the Magical Classic (Orlando) in Feb. She said "really?" I said yes, really, if your heart is not in this, I am not spending the money to take you to FL. I also told her if you really want to quit I cannot make you continue, however, you are committed to the team to compete in the meets you're already registered in, the 2nd one being on her 13th birthday in Jan. I told her if you want to quit, on Jan 31 you can quit but not before these meets. She said ok, and then asked me about another meet saying how she "really liked that one". She also brought up about Joga (Jersey Optional Gymnastics) where you can be an event specialist. This just proved to me that she really does not hate gymnastics and really doesn't want to quit! So for now, I'm just letting it ride. We have 3 months and I hope during that time, she will come to realize what she really wants.
Tonight, she asked me if HC knows she is leaving. I said I don't know. (In my mind, she's really not leaving yet and secretly hoping it doesn't come to that). She said he has privately spoken with Friend #1 and Friend #2 and doesn't know why he didn't approach her. I wonder what is going through her mind. ..what is it that she wants to tell him....
Now, you take a kid for whom most things come easy - school, sports, etc. and you MAKE her try things that are hard and chew her out constantly for not getting it, or not wanting it, or whatever, and what does that spell, diaster!! I Two nights ago I watched DD "hide" in a corner near the strap bar while the rest of the L8s were already starting conditioning. HC wanted her to do more giants. I could tell by the body language it was not going well. I told my friend about HC's plans and said this is going to break her. Sure enough, she stormed out of the gym crying. On the way home she told me she hated gymnastics (never said this before) and wants to quit. I told her that she does not hate gymnastics, she is just upset with HC and emotional, and you cannot make choices until you calm down. I explained that she is not used to this type of coaching but it is the way it should be, you do what you're told not what you feel like doing.
Background - K has been on team since age 7 and watched girls before her refuse to do giants, refuse to front tumble, refuse to do an event at a meet. He holds some girls to different standards, DD being one of them. She does not like that kind of pressure. Last wk one of the other L8's decided to quit and this is one of the girls who has been with my DD on the team since the beginning. Another girl is also planning to leave in Nov. Morale is very bad among the optional gymnasts and I think this more than anything else is causing DD to question herself.
She cried on and off for most of the night. She insisted that things are too hard and she has had enough of being "yelled at by everyone" and is not going to do "it" (gym) anymore. I told her that she needs to give this a chance, and she should at least prove to herself if no one else, what skills she has and how good she is.
I spent most of the next day very upset and talked to the Program Director about it. She asked whether HC had explained to K his reasoning for pushing her and I said of course not, he never does. So she said she would talk to him and tell him he should talk to her about the situation. In the meantime, I decided that I cannot push her if she doesn't want to be pushed. This is something she has to want, no matter how big of a mistake I think she is making by quitting. I decided to let it be her decision but not an immediate one. I told K that I would not enter her in the Magical Classic (Orlando) in Feb. She said "really?" I said yes, really, if your heart is not in this, I am not spending the money to take you to FL. I also told her if you really want to quit I cannot make you continue, however, you are committed to the team to compete in the meets you're already registered in, the 2nd one being on her 13th birthday in Jan. I told her if you want to quit, on Jan 31 you can quit but not before these meets. She said ok, and then asked me about another meet saying how she "really liked that one". She also brought up about Joga (Jersey Optional Gymnastics) where you can be an event specialist. This just proved to me that she really does not hate gymnastics and really doesn't want to quit! So for now, I'm just letting it ride. We have 3 months and I hope during that time, she will come to realize what she really wants.
Tonight, she asked me if HC knows she is leaving. I said I don't know. (In my mind, she's really not leaving yet and secretly hoping it doesn't come to that). She said he has privately spoken with Friend #1 and Friend #2 and doesn't know why he didn't approach her. I wonder what is going through her mind. ..what is it that she wants to tell him....