Parents Trying to find the right path...insight requested.

[lilymom]

This is super long....apologizing in advance. I'm just going to pour it all out the best I can...

I feel like my daughter is at a crossroads as far as gymnastics is concerned right now. We left our gym...she was not happy and was wanting to quit gymnastics completely and as I had promised her it would be her decision after states, so, I let her quit.

But as we talked about it further, she said she was frustrated with the time driving (the gym was pretty far) on top of the hours (we were about to increase to 20 hours) and the lack of attention (it was a very large group and she was not one of the best and it seems got overlooked on corrections a lot.) She wanted some time with friends and time to explore other interests as well. It broke my heart when she said she missed family dinners. We were leaving for gym almost right after school and not getting home till almost 10, which is crazy late for her. But I know she loves the sport...I don't want her to quit just because of this.

So we came to an agreement that we would look for a more local gym with maybe less hours and with a smaller team that might allow her to have a better balance.

We tried out at a gym she really likes but they don't think she has what she needs to be usag and want her to join their AAU program. I don't know much about AAU and searching through these posts, I'm still confused because it seems to vary so much. So my questions...

Would she lose strength/skills doing AAU because of the fewer hours? She wants to advance, she wants to do harder skills and I get the need to make sure she is strong in the basics but she already competed 5; it's going to be hard for her to go too far back...I'm afraid she will get bored/frustrated/mad and quit because she is going backwards and her friends are all going forward. I already saw her almost in tears when she sw instagram posts from her old teammates about new skills they just got since she left.

I seem to see many posts talking about doing AAU in the lower levels and then moving to USAG for optionals. I know every gymnast has their own path; I guess I'm just wondering if it makes sense to go backwards before going forward again (I say backward because I believe they want her to do level 5 aau though I'm hoping she can work through the summer and do 6). I have no experience with anything other than USAG and I don't know anyone that has transitioned one way or the other to ask.

AAU is confusing me...GIJO I've heard it called here too. Is it the same as Xcel? I may not even have the levels right but I guess I'm getting confused...I see AAU with number levels and also names (diamond, etc) and xcel also has those names I think...just confused.

The coaches at this gym seem to be coming from a place of wanting the best for her and getting her in a stronger place to move forward...at least that's what I'm hearing. It's hard hearing your kid is not good enough to continue the path she was on. It is breaking her heart because she has heard that AAU is for kids who aren't "good enough" and now she is upset that she worked so hard and isn't good enough. I NEVER want her to feel she isn't good enough! I'm trying to explain to her that it isn't like that...that whoever told her that was wrong but in her little girl mind, that's what feels true.

What would you do? I know this is a lot...and confusing. Trust me, it's confusing in my mind too. Trying to unravel what my 9 year old is thinking is hard and I just want to do what is best for her. I feel like this might be a good move because she would get the hours that wants for other things and be able to work on some things like more strength and bent arms, etc that will make her better going forward. I just don't want her to get stuck...she wants to go back to usag optionals and I want to make sure that's still an option later.

I know you can't tell me if it's the right decision, I know....I wish you all could. But I was hoping at least for some insight from those of you that maybe know more about this or have gone through it or something similar. Thank you.

 

[CLgym]

GIJO stands for Gymnastics of Illinois Junior Organization. It has been around for ages in IL, and competes through AAU. It is generally used as a less intense, alternative team pathway -- very much like Xcel (which is a USAG program). In fact, if you look at its mission statement (GIJO has a website) it specifically states it is a "league designed for a less intense gymnast." I think it could be an excellent choice for someone who is looking for fewer hours and wants to balance gymnastics with other activities. However, I suspect fewer hours and less intensity will likely mean slower progress. GIJO competes levels 2-8 as well as bronze, silver, gold, platinum and diamond (taken from Xcel) -- it just depends on the gym. The levels 2-8 are similar to USAG JO levels.

My DD was directed towards an Xcel/AAU team at her first gym. After competing a season of Xcel Bronze and AAU (GIJO) Level 3, we moved gyms to compete USAG JO. My daughter was looking for more - not less - so the change made sense for us. I am happy to share more info regarding our personal, somewhat limited, experience at GIJO/AAU -- as compared to our year in JO. Ask away, or message me.

Good luck

 

[GymDad9.9]

You have a number of competing and potentially conflicting interests and priorities and real life issues here. Not sure whatever you do will be ideal. Having said that, finding a way to be closer to home to restore your family life and being in a gym that appears to be sincere about helping your daughter with her gymnastics may not be such a bad place to start.

I wish you luck and happiness.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

My daughter is not as far along as yours is, but we faced a couple similar questions. We were at a high-performance, high-hours gym, and my DD wanted to keep doing gymnastics while also having free time for her other pursuits and family time. We found a wonderful gym that just does Xcel. They do very solid gymnastics, but the hours are low.

Assuming your old gym managed time and trained well, if you go to a less-intense, lower hours program, she is going to lose strength and probably a skill or two. It was very hard to swallow how much strength my DD lost by switching programs. But the truth is that you can not have your cake and eat it too. That gym has high hours for a reason. You can not expect the same level of strength and skill acquisition in a less competitive program.

As for her friends getting skills and her being left behind, we see that too, in our situation, but the truth is, if she quits? She will never get those skills. Finding a gym and program that fits her/your life, means she will get those skills eventually too.

 

[QueenBee]

No great ideas, but a ton of support. It isn't easy figuring out what the best path forward is and I think most of us on the board have been where you are now in regards to a gymnastics decision that wasn't cut and dry. You are being really thoughtful in how you are looking at this, my best advice would be to trust yourself in making the decision.

Good luck

 

[Gymmommy71]

What JO level was she at her old gym?

 

[GYM0M]

There has to be a balance....I'm sorry if this comes off wrong, but it sounds like she isn't sure what she wants. Are you sure that the coach was talking about her physical capabilities? Because, to me, it doesn't sound like she's in the right mindset for the level of commitment and hard choices that come into play in USAG JO optionals. Maybe he just meant that the best thing for her is to not be in that rigorous of a program rt now. If it were me, I'd tell her to try it for a year, get more family time, try new things. It's not like she can NEVER go back to USAG. She's 9. The path that was offered to her could open up so many doors in other areas that she's interested in, but more importantly, a positive environment and healthy relationships with her coaches will help her to find her zen again. Children often have a hard time with the bigger picture.

 

[lilymom]

What JO level was she at her old gym?

She was with the training 6/7 group (just finished 5) and we were being told she would be 6.

The new gym now says that they can have her join the training 5 group for the summer with the understanding that at the end of summer, they would decide if she would go usag 5 or aau 5.

There has to be a balance....I'm sorry if this comes off wrong, but it sounds like she isn't sure what she wants. Are you sure that the coach was talking about her physical capabilities? Because, to me, it doesn't sound like she's in the right mindset for the level of commitment and hard choices that come into play in USAG JO optionals. Maybe he just meant that the best thing for her is to not be in that rigorous of a program rt now.

No it makes sense. She is confusing me about what she wants and I think she just doesn't know. She has been doing over 12 hours of gymnastics a week since she was 5 I don't know that she knows what it's like to not be there so much and is kinda wanting it but doesn't want to give up gym. She is torn.

No great ideas, but a ton of support. It isn't easy figuring out what the best path forward is and I think most of us on the board have been where you are now in regards to a gymnastics decision that wasn't cut and dry. You are being really thoughtful in how you are looking at this, my best advice would be to trust yourself in making the decision.

Good luck

Thank you. I'm trying REALLY hard to see all sides of this and make sure that we make the right choice for her and our family.

 

[OzZee]

How did she do at 5? How is she going with training 6?
It's likely there is a reason the new gym wants her to repeat 5. And whilst upsetting at first it will make her stronger going forward (and with hopefully a season doing well which is always a confidence boost).
Obviously dropping hours and intensity will mean less gains and maybe some losses in strength etc but if she is feeling ready to quit then that's a moot point.

Personally, I'd give the new gym a go as it doesn't sound like she is happy.
Hopefully you can leave in a positive way leaving that door open if in a years time she wants to go back.
To me it sounds like the new gym are looking at her personally and want her to do what's best rather than just pushing through and making do (sounds like a large group where the gym doesn't care if some of the girls are struggling a bit as they have lotsalready excelling).

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Don't know any of your gyms.

But 2 things. Unless your child has Elite/College aspirations/talent. It's the training that matters, not the numbers or initials. Do they train good solid gymnatics?

Not all hours of training are equal. My daughter does more in one practice then she did in the equivalent of 2-3 times her old gym. Our kids get really solid training and conditioning. They do pretty well with their 9-12 hours. And does compare to a 20 hour high power gym? Sure they have the advantage but we get some wins.

My daughters path is slower then a 20 hour a week. But she is doing solid gymnastics and still enjoying it. And is even able to do other things.

 

[raenndrops]

She was with the training 6/7 group (just finished 5) and we were being told she would be 6.

The new gym now says that they can have her join the training 5 group for the summer with the understanding that at the end of summer, they would decide if she would go usag 5 or aau 5.

So, they are not necessarily saying she would be aau. There is a possibility of USAG L5. So basically, she would be repeating L5… probably so they can give her some of the corrections she wasn't getting at the old gym with its large numbers.

It would also give her a better foundation to Optionals (which she could go to after a season of either AAU L5 or USAG L5 because she has already competed L5 and I am guessing she got at least a 31.0).

Good luck with your decision.

 

[lilymom]

How did she do at 5? How is she going with training 6?
It's likely there is a reason the new gym wants her to repeat 5. And whilst upsetting at first it will make her stronger going forward (and with hopefully a season doing well which is always a confidence boost).
Obviously dropping hours and intensity will mean less gains and maybe some losses in strength etc but if she is feeling ready to quit then that's a moot point.

Personally, I'd give the new gym a go as it doesn't sound like she is happy.
Hopefully you can leave in a positive way leaving that door open if in a years time she wants to go back.
To me it sounds like the new gym are looking at her personally and want her to do what's best rather than just pushing through and making do (sounds like a large group where the gym doesn't care if some of the girls are struggling a bit as they have lots already excelling).

She didn't do amazing...high 8's, low 9's on her strong events (beam and floor), low to mid 8's on her weak events (bars and vault) She was doing ok with the new skills, a little slow going there but they just started on them. A good season would def boost confidence...I think she needs it, it hasn't been fun for her lately. And yes, if she quits, the hours won't matter. I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out..the balance of hours and training that will keep her engaged, getting stronger and doing well while still leaving time for other stuff. I'm ok with her repeating 5. I think in the long run it'll be good for her.

 

[lilymom]

So, they are not necessarily saying she would be aau. There is a possibility of USAG L5. So basically, she would be repeating L5… probably so they can give her some of the corrections she wasn't getting at the old gym with its large numbers.

It would also give her a better foundation to Optionals (which she could go to after a season of either AAU L5 or USAG L5 because she has already competed L5 and I am guessing she got at least a 31.0).

Good luck with your decision.

Yes this was a new development today after I posted the original post. They are offering to let her train with the L5 kids for the summer to see if she can catch up to their standards. To be reevaluated at the end of the summer whether she competes aau or usag.She was scoring mid 34's and they want over 37. I def think she can use more corrections and adjustments to make her better and yes then optionals would come more easily if her base is stronger.

 

[QueenBee]

Repeating level 5 is a great idea if your daughter needs to improve bars and vault. Both of these events are the ones that can limit movement to higher level. Getting the fundamentals right at Level 5 will really set her up nicely to continue into Optionals.

 

[gymcat]

Is that your only gym option that is closer to home? For my daughter, I would never consider a gym that expected 37+ scoring, even as a repeater. Some kids get those scores, while many others never will.

 

[bookworm]

Is that your only gym option that is closer to home? For my daughter, I would never consider a gym that expected 37+ scoring, even as a repeater. Some kids get those scores, while many others never will.

This x 100! My oldest was never a strong compulsory gymnast, max score EVER in levels 4-6 was 32.4....and she went on to compete many successful years at level 10 and compete in NCAA....she just wasn't in a great gym in the early levels so she would never have moved up with a 37 as a benchmark.

I think taking a step back is a good idea given the scenario as described...if she doesn't want the intensity of her old gym life , then she doesn't want the intensity...it's HER sport and she drives the bus, so to speak. If she seems happy with the new arrangements, go with it...it keeps her in the sport and as a previous poster said, it's not like she's prohibited from ramping it up again in the future. Good luck with the new gym