Unhealthy Rivalry of Parents

[dancengym]

Wow--are the coaches aware of all she does? I can't imagine our coaches allowing her to stay on team with behavior like that!

Well, she has ADHD or ADD or something like that. I know she is on meds. So, I think the owners and coaches are giving allowances for her behaviour. I think it was also because of her behaviour they kept her another year at level 4 because I think she could have handled (skill wise) level 5. Also, she is not ALWAYS "bad". I cannot also believe that her actions are mean-spirited but stemming out of immaturity maybe and thinking she is being playful. I'm not sure. But my dd who really is a very kind person and to my knowledge has not said anything negative about anyone except for this gymnast, even believes that this gymnast does things intentionally. My DD told me a couple of days ago, she saw this gymnast stick a bobby pin in the middle of the floor. She dug it into the carpet and practiced on the other side of the floor. My DD told me she pulled it out and felt the actions of the gymnast seemed very intentional. I told my DD that she may be wrong because I think kids do things out of boredom and may not realize how dangerous some of their actions may be. This gymnast is only 9 years old. I do not know much about ADD or ADHD, so I am also making allowances for her behaviour. But it still can be dangerous for the other gymnasts.

 

[mayestra12]

Wow...this is all just awful.

I was a competitive swimmer growing up and I was the target of many parents who wanted me to false start, get disqualified etc...

It turned out many of the girls I was competing against had parents who went to high school with my mom and I was caught in the middle of some old high school drama. My mom stayed out of it but deep down I knew what kids she really wanted me to beat...it added up to a lot of stress and in the end I don't think I went as far in sport as I could of.

I'll be staying out of the gym and not watching dd at all except for competition time!

 

[CoachGoofy]

Mat pulling ain't ADHD. Convincing a whole group that a bar is jinxed ain't ADHD either. There's a difference between impulsive and....that.

 

[Kiwi]

So, I think the owners and coaches are giving allowances for her behaviour.

It sounds like they are making too much allowance for her, and it sounds like she knows it too and is getting away with whatever she can. A 9 year old is plenty old enough to understand the concept of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and the coaches need to be making sure she understands that dangerous behaviour is unacceptable. If my DD was in her class, I would be very worried! I'm gobsmacked that she gets away with shaking the beam and pulling mats out from under people!

 

[Coach Roy]

It sounds like they are making too much allowance for her, and it sounds like she knows it too and is getting away with whatever she can. A 9 year old is plenty old enough to understand the concept of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and the coaches need to be making sure she understands that dangerous behaviour is unacceptable. If my DD was in her class, I would be very worried! I'm gobsmacked that she gets away with shaking the beam and pulling mats out from under people!

Exactly.
There is no excuse for any kind of disruptive AND dangerous behavior like this for a team member regardless of any personal "conditions" or "exceptions".

 

[lilgymmie7]

Agreed completely

I think this is a little harsh. Posting a link on here and youtube, etc.?

Does this Mom know what she is doing? Do you know her background? Crazy people aren't born that way. They ussually get that way due to circumstances. Much of these circumstances can be quite daunting.
If anyone did something remotely similar to what you described, fist pump when DD fell off, I would for one confront her. I am NOT a confrontational person, but I am very direct. I speak and say my peace without intentions of hurting anyone. Rather I want the other offensive person to know exactly how I feel about what they may have said or done. Last year a parent was a bit jealous and T'd off that my younger DD moved up with the rest of the girls. In her opinion my daughter had no business moving to 5, yet in retrospect my little one has held her own and frankly surpassed many of her fellow teammates. I HAD to confront her and talk to the coaches about the situation, and thinks are much better now. As adults, we need to find healthy means of communicating with others. Imagine what THAT, if done effectively, teaches the children who view the interaction. Wouldn't many of our world's problems be resolved a lot more smoothly if healthy communication was had?

 

[dancengym]

I completely agree. That is why I worry and prefer to not have this gymnast practice with our level. So, what should the coaches or owners do? What can they do? Keep in mind that this gymnast is not always doing those things. There was one month where she was just at it a lot. And then she'll be fine for many months. And then one day, she'll do something. And be fine again. She has been fine the last few months except for when she dug her bobby pin into the floor of the gym with the sharp side up and sticking out. We also always see this gymnast sitting out practice because of her behaviour. Many parents believe she should be sent home instead of the coaches just having her sit out 10 min of practice. At the team cup this year, she told her teammates they were going to fall off the beam right at the meet. And guess what, 6 out of the 7 she told fell of the beam. Of course, she did not. The team suffered too because we only placed 3rd. The parents were really upset and so were the coaches, but I don't think they did anything.

 

[lilgymmie7]

I completely agree. That is why I worry and prefer to not have this gymnast practice with our level. So, what should the coaches or owners do? What can they do? Keep in mind that this gymnast is not always doing those things. There was one month where she was just at it a lot. And then she'll be fine for many months. And then one day, she'll do something. And be fine again. She has been fine the last few months except for when she dug her bobby pin into the floor of the gym with the sharp side up and sticking out. We also always see this gymnast sitting out practice because of her behaviour. Many parents believe she should be sent home instead of the coaches just having her sit out 10 min of practice. At the team cup this year, she told her teammates they were going to fall off the beam right at the meet. And guess what, 6 out of the 7 she told fell of the beam. Of course, she did not. The team suffered too because we only placed 3rd. The parents were really upset and so were the coaches, but I don't think they did anything.

If this little girl is so bad, then isn't it high time that the coaches give/state an ultimatum? Either you straighten out and leave your teammates alone, or you will have to leave the team. If a child like this behaved this way at my school, she/he would get detentions and even expelled if the behavior doesn't drastically improve. ADHD children are not mean spirited; they are however impulsive. This child's actions are not impulse driven. It sounds like the coaches need to hear a collaborated view of other parents who are effected by this child's behavior. Correcting her behavior now could help her stay out of the court system in the future, reducing societies problem as a whole.

 

[Linsul]

I completely agree. That is why I worry and prefer to not have this gymnast practice with our level. So, what should the coaches or owners do? What can they do?

You posted earlier that she purposely moved a piece of equipment that resulted in a sprain. She should have been gone then. Coaches can't diagnose or 'fix' a child that is willing to hurt others, we aren't qualified to do that. We do have a responsibility to create as safe a workout environment as possible though. Causing injury to another gymnast through deliberate action is reason enough to remove someone from the team I'd think. I read the history and I'm blown away that she's still there!

 

[bookworm]

You posted earlier that she purposely moved a piece of equipment that resulted in a sprain. She should have been gone then. Coaches can't diagnose or 'fix' a child that is willing to hurt others, we aren't qualified to do that. We do have a responsibility to create as safe a workout environment as possible though. Causing injury to another gymnast through deliberate action is reason enough to remove someone from the team I'd think. I read the history and I'm blown away that she's still there!

This does not surprise me at all...we have a kid like this in our gym whose parents are so toxic to everyone (and I won't bore you with the littany of things they have done but it makes this mom look like Snow White!) and the gym owners refuse to throw her out because of the money they take in from this family on a monthly basis (multiple privates every week in addition to their monthly tuition for 3 kids...it all adds up) and this lunatic continues to be at the gym, while the rest of us avoid the place like the plague in order to avoid her!!

 

[mpkbt]

You guys are all so grown up and nice. We have a woman like this at our gym. I mean she is crazy with a capital C. She isn't just pushy with her daughter but in all aspects of communication. When she sits by me and talks about why her dd isn't getting the skills as fast....I encourge her. I figure the faster she gets on the coaches nerves the faster she will go find a new gym. Mark my words....parents like this are NEVER happy and will find the next greatest gym for their Olympic bound kids. I agree though, the kids are the ones to suffer. I have been in many gyms as we move around the country and there are parents like this at EVERY gym. Some are a bit more subtle but they are there. They do however seem to be more at the compulsory level and are weeded out by the time they get to optionals. This one is an optional parent but her kid is young. I guess I have a little evil streak in me!

 

[bogwoppit]

mpktb, I like the way you think. There is a lot of logic behind your idea, these parents eventually self destruct, why not make it easier on everyone?

 

[justanothergymmom]

when she sits by me and talks about why her dd isn't getting the skills as fast....i encourge her. I figure the faster she gets on the coaches nerves the faster she will go find a new gym... I guess i have a little evil streak in me!

lol!!!!!!!!!!

 

[cathiann]

You guys are all so grown up and nice. We have a woman like this at our gym. I mean she is crazy with a capital C. She isn't just pushy with her daughter but in all aspects of communication. When she sits by me and talks about why her dd isn't getting the skills as fast....I encourge her. I figure the faster she gets on the coaches nerves the faster she will go find a new gym. Mark my words....parents like this are NEVER happy and will find the next greatest gym for their Olympic bound kids. I agree though, the kids are the ones to suffer. I have been in many gyms as we move around the country and there are parents like this at EVERY gym. Some are a bit more subtle but they are there. They do however seem to be more at the compulsory level and are weeded out by the time they get to optionals. This one is an optional parent but her kid is young. I guess I have a little evil streak in me!

Very evil, but totally funny!

 

[Coacharella]

Not sure if this happens at our club because I am coaching.

I am sure the parents who watch every moment of every practice are sitting there commenting/analyzing. They seem the competitive type. Pushy towards their daughters pretty openly. They could possibly be criticizing coaching too. Who knows.

But we def. have the crazies at our gym. Gotta love competitive gymnastics, but those stinkin' crazy parents....

Once we had one run right on to the middle of the floor, sceam something nasty at the coach, and pull her kid out of practice 3 hours early. It was embarrassing for her, and disruptive to the kids. We also had another scream at her daughter for not getting a skill during training. Also embarrassing. As for the parent rivalry due to daughter's talent though, I really do not know since I am coaching most the time and don't pick up on these things

 

[Kiwi]

You posted earlier that she purposely moved a piece of equipment that resulted in a sprain. She should have been gone then. Coaches can't diagnose or 'fix' a child that is willing to hurt others, we aren't qualified to do that. We do have a responsibility to create as safe a workout environment as possible though. Causing injury to another gymnast through deliberate action is reason enough to remove someone from the team I'd think. I read the history and I'm blown away that she's still there!

I agree, the safety of the rest of the team should be the priority. This kid needs a child psychologist, that isn't the gym's job. I'm surprised all the other parents are putting up with this.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Not sure if this happens at our club because I am coaching.

I am sure the parents who watch every moment of every practice are sitting there commenting/analyzing. They seem the competitive type. Pushy towards their daughters pretty openly. They could possibly be criticizing coaching too. Who knows.

But we def. have the crazies at our gym. Gotta love competitive gymnastics, but those stinkin' crazy parents....

Once we had one run right on to the middle of the floor, sceam something nasty at the coach, and pull her kid out of practice 3 hours early. It was embarrassing for her, and disruptive to the kids. We also had another scream at her daughter for not getting a skill during training. Also embarrassing. As for the parent rivalry due to daughter's talent though, I really do not know since I am coaching most the time and don't pick up on these things

can you tell me what state please?

 

[bogwoppit]

Coacherella is in Canada, those Canucks are Crazy!!!!

 

[Coacharella]

Canada. Ontario.

Both those parents are now long gone.

Seems to be the trend

Be crazy, leave the club. Crazy the next club, go to the next club.

Poor kids!

 

[Blazing15]

My daughter's coach's probably think that I am one of those crazy moms because I sit there usually the whole practice and watch. Not because of what you think lol. My daughter is 6 and she is being seen by a doctor for headaches and gets them pretty much everytime during gymnastics sometimes not. It's got to the point though that I have got her a grip bag and just put some tylenol chewables in there so that she can come out if she needs to and take them. I am starting to get better about leaving. Def. next year if she moves no way am I sitting there for 3 hours each night 3 days a week. LOL. Also I have never yelled at a coach. I love all my daughters coaches. If I have a question about something I will ask them but sometimes I just try to keep my mouth shut because I don't want to be a crazy parent. But like the other night DD was doing her handstand quarter turn on beam dismount and they were having her do it on her left side and she always does everything on her right side so I asked if it there was a USAG rule on which side they have to go to. But the coach didn't realize that DD did everything on her right side so she said she would have her do it right the next class and she did.