Parents Unsupervised Teen Sleepovers?

[crazygymstermom]

I can only hope that when my daughter us older she has a coach that looks out for her team the way you do for yours. In my book you definately did the right thing.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Kudos JBS!

Unfortunately, this scenario is not surprising at all. Especially that some parents knew there would be no supervision and still agreed (at least that's how read the thread). With two teenagers, I am known as a "stalker" mom. I closely monitor my kid's social media accounts and keep up on what they and their friends and school mates are up to. It really takes a lot to shock me anymore based on the things I've seen. Parents knowing that their 15 year olds are out drinking and coming home drunk and just laughing about it. Parents smoking Hookah with their kids. Large sleepovers with boys and girls present. Not only do the parents allow these things to happen, they don't pay any attention when the kids are posting this stuff to social media.

I don't like to trivialize what previous generations of parents went through to raise their kids. Each generation has it's own challenges and I don't necessarily think current parents have a tougher time than our parents. It's just different and parents have to be willing to adapt and still do their job. The parents in my examples above are not doing their job. I would be very appreciative to have a coach like JBS on my side.

well...my generation's version of a sleep over was to sleep over past the time you were supposed to get up and make the bus.

of course your generation has it tougher. if sleep overs existed when i was a kid, you think we could have asked about sleeping over where boys and girls would be sleeping over? in the same house?? under one roof??? asking a question like that would have found us washing our mouths out with vinegar in lieu of being grounded for the rest of our lives.

 

[kandkfunk]

of course your generation has it tougher. if sleep overs existed when i was a kid, you think we could have asked about sleeping over where boys and girls would be sleeping over? in the same house?? under one roof??? asking a question like that would have found us washing our mouths out with vinegar in lieu of being grounded for the rest of our lives.

Well, this stuff happened during my generation too. Some parents knew, some parents didn't. That's how I know what to be looking for with my kids.

 

[mimi]

No way!!!!!!! Who on earth were the parents that knew about it and were ok with it??? Wow.

 

[Faith]

Not only do the parents allow these things to happen, they don't pay any attention when the kids are posting this stuff to social media.

I have told DD if she ever posts a "duck face" pic on social media she is banned from the internet for life

 

[Iwannabemargo]

lol - I often chide my niece for the "Trout Pout" - what is it with that ?

 

[bogwoppit]

My kids were told from day 1 on social media that if I ever saw a dumb or vulgar photo they would be done with it. Tongues out, trout pouts, any of that BS and it would be over. They have never stepped over that line.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My kids were told from day 1 on social media that if I ever saw a dumb or vulgar photo they would be done with it. Tongues out, trout pouts, any of that BS and it would be over. They have never stepped over that line.

i LOVE your attitude!

 

[SignHere]

I thought I was the only one who disliked the " trout pout"!

What is it with these parents who think it's ok for their children to post these pics and the "rock n roll" (tongue out devil horn fingers) pics on social media? The moms post them too !

I just don't get it!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

loving that I'm not the only old reactionary in building

 

[MILgymFAM]

My kids were told from day 1 on social media that if I ever saw a dumb or vulgar photo they would be done with it. Tongues out, trout pouts, any of that BS and it would be over. They have never stepped over that line.

Great attitude. My kids aren't allowed on social media till they are sixteen, so I have years yet to deal with this, but we will have the same rule.

 

[Quadqueen]

Great attitude. My kids aren't allowed on social media till they are sixteen, so I have years yet to deal with this, but we will have the same rule.

That will be quite a challenge!

 

[MILgymFAM]

That will be quite a challenge!

So far, so good. I have spent years laying the mean mom groundwork. My kids are on solid ground with the notion that they cannot have what everyone else has just because. My older DD is 13 in a couple months and younger DD is 10- both of them have all their friends with iPhones, fb, twitter, snapchat. The girls know that if I find out they allow their friends to post pics of them, they aren't friends any longer. It has been hard since we move every 2-3 years- I know it would make it easier for the girls to keep in touch with friends, but they have managed thus far with phone calls, letters, and skype. Fingers crossed it stays easy!

 

[xrachx]

Luckily my DD (10) knows part of my job is actually monitoring social media sites. I've had incidents where (while working in a high school) I've been able to find out kids names, addresses, email, telephone number etc etc, just from seeing a single tweet (bad mouthing the school ironically).

So DDs had the warning that whatever her or her friends post online, I'll be able to see fairly easily. Her friends all use FB, instagram, snapchat etc, but she just thinks it's all dumb and has zero interest. I'm keeping everything crossed that continues as she gets older!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I'm another horrid mum, No 1 son tried but as we have a non-english name I found him PDQ, he will be 16 this year and still has none.

 

[bogwoppit]

Mine rarely use any of that stuff and they are 15, 17 and 21, it gets old really fast. Especially when they know who can see their stuff. Mine also had to be friends with me and not block me on anything. I had their passwords too.

 

[wandrewsjr]

Great attitude. My kids aren't allowed on social media till they are sixteen, so I have years yet to deal with this, but we will have the same rule.

You are about to be tested, moving to the San Francisco Bay area. Social media is pervasive here. Even most school clubs and sports team use private facebook pages to communicate information to members(practice time changes, meeting times, distributing information, etc).

 

[MILgymFAM]

You are about to be tested, moving to the San Francisco Bay area. Social media is pervasive here. Even most school clubs and sports team use private facebook pages to communicate information to members(practice time changes, meeting times, distributing information, etc).

It's like that down here in LA too. I go directly to coaches/ teachers/ sponsors and let them know our family policy. They may pass any info through my fb if needed, or may email me anytime. In some instances, such as my DD(12)s cheer coach we allowed her to call DD directly with weather updates. I haven't met any resistance yet. We also don't allow tv watching or video games- that has been the true challenge.

 

[bogwoppit]

Funnily enough my son actually makes a very nice living working in the video game industry. He literally plays for the equivalent of a full time, and part time, job. It is a brave new world out there and literacy in computers and gaming can take a kid a long way, even the army and government have recruited gamers.

TV is much more passive, so I get that. But video games are a very interesting thing.

Definitely not something I grew up with, but definitely not a monster in the closet.

My kids also read tons and tons of books, very early readers and that still is a theme in all their lives, but gaming is in there too.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Funnily enough my son actually makes a very nice living working in the video game industry. He literally plays for the equivalent of a full time, and part time, job. It is a brave new world out there and literacy in computers and gaming can take a kid a long way, even the army and government have recruited gamers.

TV is much more passive, so I get that. But video games are a very interesting thing.

Definitely not something I grew up with, but definitely not a monster in the closet.

My kids also read tons and tons of books, very early readers and that still is a theme in all their lives, but gaming is in there too.

For me it's not moral or a good/bad thing. It's simply a matter of time. There is only so much free time my girls have, and I would rather they be using it to actively play with their friends, do outdoor activities, or just chill. We came here from NY, TX before that, and PA originally. I thing one thing that makes moving easier on them is spending lots of time outside and doing active things- it has certainly helped them make friends. I wasn't looking down on gamers or regular tv watchers, they just aren't for our family.