Update On Little Bully Situation

[Shelovesthebars]

I talked to my dd's coach and the coach talked to my dd. Well, it just so happens that all the coaches know. According to the coach, this is her regular behavior. The coach has talked to the parents several times but the parents don't take the coaches seriously and apparently believe their daughter is an angel. The coach wants me to put my dd's complaints in writing. I am going to but if the girl is still there, my dd may suffer the consequences. The coach says that none of the coaches want her at the gym and me putting my dd's complaints in writing will help. The parents don't see the behavior as being unacceptable because this is how they behave too. It is a shame because this girl is talented. I told the coach this and she agreed but she said she doesn't care how talented a kid is if their behavior is horrible. I am off to email the head coach so wish me luck. I am just going to state the facts as my dd tells me and hope that something good will come of it. The coach already told me that they will not move her to level 4 in the spring so at least she doesn't have to be with her much longer if at all. Oh, the coach also said this girl has been at it for 3 years now. WHAT? Sounds like it isn't something that will get better with time.

 

[Deanna]

Wow. Hope the letter helps. I wonder though what good it will really do other than just add to the other complaints. If this little girl has been doing this for 3 yrs now and no action has been taken, will this really be the time that changes it? I dont mean to be nagitive but its like..what gives here? I guess the gym is just afraid of taking much action due to the character of the people they are dealing with. I really do hope that your letter does some good, and that soon your dd and her will no longer be in the same level. Keep us posted on how it goes.

 

[gymgurl]

Good Luck!! Hope the letter goes well and this little problem goes away soon!

 

[bogwoppit]

Sounds great to me, the coaches want to get rid of the family and you will help them do it. Make sure you let DD's coach know that you have handed in the letter and can she keep an extra special eye on your DD.

 

[SamIam]

all the coaches know

talked to the parents several times

parents don't take the coaches seriously

none of the coaches want her at the gym

been at it for 3 years now

Let me say good luck with the letter. Make every word count.

Now let me put a disclaimer up saying that "I am not a coach nor do I play one on the internet", but - what is wrong with your coaches? If the problem is as obvious as you state why would you even need to write a letter. Coaches on board here can speak up, but would you have put up with this? For this long? I don't think I would have, (note disclaimer) and I know without a doubt dd's coach would not. Have seen people asked to leave for less than you have described.

Once again, best of luck.

 

[gymdog]

The OP goes to a pretty large gym, I don't think the coaches in this instance are the owners or head coaches or really have the power to dismiss this child from the program. And those that don't have the power likely rarely encounter this child so it's probably not high on their radar.

 

[SamIam]

We are from a franchise that has 11 gyms in 7 states, but the HC means exactly that according to the HC and from what I have seen the last 5 years.
I do understand your point though, and how it can happen.

 

[CoachGoofy]

Sometimes it's not up to the coach.

I'm the HC of one of our programs, & I can't say "yeah, so your kid can't come back". I can say "here are other options that will work better for your kid", I can talk to the parents about behavior, I can say "until XYZ behavior changes, I am not putting your child on team". But the power to ask families to leave rests in the owner, who oversees all of the programs (and knows all of our students and families).

Does the bully child have a sibling who's cooperative and/or talented? That can play a part in how much TPTB are willing to overlook. Not defending it, but that's sometimes the way it is.

 

[cher062]

3 years trying to get to L4 and working on #4?? That sounds like a meeting with parents to let them know their child isn't team material.

I would also send a copy to the Head Coach and Owner on your letter so there isn't any doubt that this gets to the right hands.

 

[Jennemmy]

3 years trying to get to L4 and working on #4?? That sounds like a meeting with parents to let them know their child isn't team material.

The OP said the bullying girl was only 6 so it wouldn't surprise me if it took 3 years to get to 4.

 

[emm'sgymmom]

My daughter had a similar experience when she started at her gym. My daughter came late to gymnastics (9 yrs old) and when she started she was put directly with level 5 girls. She needed a lot of work for sure, but her coaches felt it was the right place for her.

There was a girl in her practice group that took every opportunity to let my dd know just how "bad" she was and how far behind she was. Even when you couldn't hear what was being said on the gym floor, you could tell by the body language that the girl was letting my daughter "have it"on a regular basis. What this other girl didn't realize is that my dd has alot of determination, and in addition is the youngest of three siblings (one 21 and the other 17). When you are the youngest and your siblings are that much older, it takes alot to be intimidated! In the end, the bully girl quit and my dd remains!!

I would write the letter so that the gym has something on file addressing the behavior of the other gymnast. Generally, coaches are aware of the situation - that was the case with my dd too! Good Luck!!

 

[sara74]

Oh, the coach also said this girl has been at it for 3 years now.

So this kid is 6ish and she's been acting this way for 3 years??? Wow. Just wow. I've seen a kid like this and at 9 the kid is worse, not better.